Post by dabearsfanswife on Nov 16, 2015 6:16:07 GMT -5
Hi everyone! My name is DaBears and I've been around here for a while but never on the adoption/foster care board. I recently got a new job in a nonprofit that specializes in foster care placement and adoption and I was wondering if you guys would let me peek my head in here and ask what are some struggles that you all have faced in the process so I might better understand how to help others who are looking to foster/adopt. If this is way out of line please just let me know, I do not want to come across as insensitive. I truly think you guys are amazing. So, if you could say one thing (or one hundred things) about the process that you think would help others or that you would like to see changed about the system, what would it be?
Welcome! I am doing foster to adopt and at the moment I have been matched and am waiting for my 7 yearl old girl!
We had meetings at few agencies, some were very racist towards my husband and I (I am Brazilian and he is Russian). We found a private agency that treated us very well and made the process a much better experience. We love our Social Worker, the classes were very great and informative and the home visits didnt feel invasive. I do feel like the process was quite a lot, but I also feel that it was necessary to make sure we were prepared. The support we have is also great. Although I hate waiting, I wouldn't change one single thing. Maybe I woyld add more classes...lol Message me if you wanna know anything else, im pretty open...
Welcome! I am doing foster to adopt and at the moment I have been matched and am waiting for my 7 yearl old girl!
We had meetings at few agencies, some were very racist towards my husband and I (I am Brazilian and he is Russian). We found a private agency that treated us very well and made the process a much better experience. We love our Social Worker, the classes were very great and informative and the home visits didnt feel invasive. I do feel like the process was quite a lot, but I also feel that it was necessary to make sure we were prepared. The support we have is also great. Although I hate waiting, I wouldn't change one single thing. Maybe I woyld add more classes...lol Message me if you wanna know anything else, im pretty open...
Ugh, racism is gross and very inappropriate. I'm glad you found a good SW though! They make all the difference. What areas do you wish you had more training on?
Hi dabearsfanswife! We are just looking at starting the process of adopting/fostering after getting our IF diagnosis so I don't have much advice since I'm really new to this. But thank you for coming on here to ask for advice. That puts you many steps above people who think they know it all.
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
Hi there. I don't mind you being here and asking questions at all. I think it's great that you want to hear our struggles.
DH and I started the process to get licensed to Foster-to-Adopt on February 4, 2014 and we are still not licensed. We are getting licensed through the state of CT and every single step has taken a ridiculously long amount of time. For example, our homestudy was finally approved on October 22nd and the only thing that needs to happen is someone literally needs to click on our file, and that still hasn't been done, 3 1/2 weeks later. We've been told that we are an ideal family and have a great home, and our SW seemed so excited to get us licensed. I'm convinced we are just not considered a priority because we are looking for low to medium legal risk adoption, and there is much more of a need for high legal risk families. We have friends, who are in the same district, that started the process after us and took the classes after us, and they are already licensed and have two children placed with them. Guess what? They are a high legal risk family. I don't think this is a coincidence.
We are both going to be 40 next year, but we both want to add a child to our family and had hoped to do that through DCF because of DH's childhood background. Having a nursery set up and going through this whole process made me realize that I want another child, whether it's through DCF or biologically, and DH is on board. We are now TTC and if we get pregnant before we get licensed, then we're going to withdraw our DCF application.
Feel free to check out my blog about the process; the link is in my siggy. If you look at the "About Us" page, I have a timeline of events.
I get that DCF is underfunded and understaffed. I get that background checks and homestudies take time. But, I never dreamed it would take almost 2 years to get licensed when there are more than 4,000 children in our state that need foster and adoptive homes. If they don't shape up, they are going to lose a lot of potentially awesome foster families due to frustration and loss of trust in the system.
Hi and welcome! I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.
MH and I are doing foster care and hope to adopt someday. We really wanted to adopt right away, but because our desired age range was young (ages 0-4), we were told that there weren't really any kids in that age in our state waiting to be adopted, and if we wanted to have younger kids placed with us, we would need to do foster care first. So we spent March - August of this year getting licensed for foster care, and 3 weeks after receiving our license, we got our first placement of 2 little boys in early September. The current goal for these boys is that they return home, but the goal could change to adoption in the future, depending on the actions (or inaction) of their parents.
I was actually pleasantly surprised with the whole licensing process. Everything went smoothly and rather quickly for us. There were a few frustrating weeks where we were just sitting around waiting for our caseworker to get back to us (she often forgot to mention when she was taking vacation or going out of town, and was sometimes hard to get a hold of), but otherwise everything went as well as I could have hoped.
Welcome! I am doing foster to adopt and at the moment I have been matched and am waiting for my 7 yearl old girl!
We had meetings at few agencies, some were very racist towards my husband and I (I am Brazilian and he is Russian). We found a private agency that treated us very well and made the process a much better experience. We love our Social Worker, the classes were very great and informative and the home visits didnt feel invasive. I do feel like the process was quite a lot, but I also feel that it was necessary to make sure we were prepared. The support we have is also great. Although I hate waiting, I wouldn't change one single thing. Maybe I woyld add more classes...lol Message me if you wanna know anything else, im pretty open...
Ugh, racism is gross and very inappropriate. I'm glad you found a good SW though! They make all the difference. What areas do you wish you had more training on?
Well, I got over my bad experience and just put it where it belongs, in the past.
I would love to have training in specific things like working with ASD, ADHD, ODD, and so on. There are so many kids with those diagnoses and the training we have for the license is great, but there is so much more to learn. I would love to have a class about different ways of working with kids such as theraplay. I did take some extra classes that I found but I feel like there is so much more to learn! I just want to know more more and more...lol
Post by dabearsfanswife on Nov 18, 2015 8:11:39 GMT -5
Thank you so much for sharing, everyone. I think the most common complaint our agency gets is the wait time/the number of hoops you have to jump through. I like the idea of more training on mental health issues. So many of our kiddos present with them so it only makes sense to offer more training. Keep the ideas coming!
Post by gnomesweetgnome on Nov 18, 2015 15:40:44 GMT -5
The more agencies can help get friends/families licensed for babysitting and respite and/or help find providers for those services, the better! I know many families who have no help to take their kids for date night, emergencies, etc.
FPs desperately need time away from their children to rest, recharge, and otherwise take care of themselves, and many don't get an opportunity to do that, which leads to major burnout and marriages can suffer.
The more agencies can help get friends/families licensed for babysitting and respite and/or help find providers for those services, the better! I know many families who have no help to take their kids for date night, emergencies, etc.
FPs desperately need time away from their children to rest, recharge, and otherwise take care of themselves, and many don't get an opportunity to do that, which leads to major burnout and marriages can suffer.
Does your agency share the FPs for respite? The way ours works right now the pool of existing FPs take turns doing each others respite care. Not at all ideal but it does give the parents a chance to get away, as long as they're willing to return the favor. Training babysitters sounds like a much better option to me though.
The more agencies can help get friends/families licensed for babysitting and respite and/or help find providers for those services, the better! I know many families who have no help to take their kids for date night, emergencies, etc.
FPs desperately need time away from their children to rest, recharge, and otherwise take care of themselves, and many don't get an opportunity to do that, which leads to major burnout and marriages can suffer.
Does your agency share the FPs for respite? The way ours works right now the pool of existing FPs take turns doing each others respite care. Not at all ideal but it does give the parents a chance to get away, as long as they're willing to return the favor. Training babysitters sounds like a much better option to me though.
We can provide respite for other families, but it all depends on availability of time and also space. For instance, we are currently unable to provide respite for others because we already have the max # of kids in our home.
Post by twocents6708 on Nov 19, 2015 20:13:46 GMT -5
Hello from another child welfare employee and respite foster parent! The number one concern I hear from people is that the length of time to get licensed is much too drawn out.
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