MOTN wakeups?

[allydncr]

OK, I know we've probably been over this a hundred times, but what do you do for MOTN wakeups? LO has always been fine going to sleep at night, but she almost always wakes up at some point and usually winds up in our bed. I don't mind it so much if it's 4 or 5 am, but now its 11pm. I'm trying to let her cry it out, but dh usually caves after 5 minutes or so. If we go in there, it makes it worse. The minute I pick her up she points to the door because she wants to sleep in our room. I'll take any advice, or commiseration... Is this normal or does my kid just hate sleep?

Man, does this kid have a set of lungs on her....

[allydncr]

Also, I'm getting paranoid about letting her sleep in our bed because when I mentioned this last week at work and said "they must grow out of it eventually, right?" My CFO said his 12 year old still crawls into their room at night. And I don't want to perpetuate a bad habit, or have to share my bed for the next 10 years!

[blush]

A still sleeps with me. I am not concerned with her sleeping with me forever. Her brothers slept with me at this age as well and we slowly got them used to their own beds. They were definitely not coming in to my bed at 12.(although if they needed comforting at that age it would have been fine)

I can not offer much help because the situation is different, A is in my room with me but I wanted to say that they certainly can outgrow it. I am getting A used to her single bed and sleeping there with her. Eventually I will leave here there alone and return if she wakes. It is a longer process but it is comfortable for both of us.

EDIT Basically I was just trying to say I think the waking can be completely normal and most kids are going to sleep on their own eventually.

[3timemom]

Will she fall asleep in your bed and let you move her back to her bed? When LO does that during the night for us he will fall asleep in our bed and we can move him back to his room. My girls are 6 and 5 and if they come in our room they can lay on our floor.

[Deleted]

Oh yeah LO still is up a couple times through the night. We will walk/rock her back down then put her back in her crib.

[allydncr]

3timemom she usually falls asleep fine on her own, but when she wakes at 2 or 3am, by the time she's in a deep enough sleep to move her, we're asleep too!

She finally fell back asleep last night after 25 min. Then was back in our bed around 4. It's funny how she can be all out screaming in one breath and the next she just lays back down and goes to sleep. I just never know whether I should be pushing her more to stay in her own bed, or just accept that she'll be sleeping with us every night!

[Deleted]

I stopped bring DD2 (my May 13 baby) to bed with us around 15 months, she will absolutely not settle back down and thinks it's play time. She's also a total daredevil and I worry that she'll just jump right off the bed.  But she hadn't slept in our bed for any length of time since she was a year old but we'd coslept/nursed quite a bit before that.

DD1 didn't come in our bed at all until around 9 months and that was usually for naps when I wanted one too, but never at night.  Once she was out of her crib, she'd come in our bed pretty often, and we had to start bribing her with a sticker chart (a sticker for every night she stayed in bed and a prize at weeks end, which was like a new pack of crayons or a coloring book, or something).  From age 4 until now (6.5), she only comes in if she has a nightmare, or doesn't feel well.  At 52 pounds at a little over 4 feet tall, it's way too many people in our bed if she comes in.

I would not worry that it's still going to be happening at 12. That sounds really odd.  A twelve year old (heck a 5 year old) is plenty old enough to be told they stay in their own room unless they're sick/have an emergency. There is no way I would have crawled into my parents bed at 12.

[3timemom]

Does she wake up screaming like that every night? My oldest had night terrors and she would wake up screaming and then she would just stop. Although she rarely every fell back asleep right away.

[sugarandspice11]

I think if you truly want to change the habit of bringing her into bed with you, you'll have to try some form/combination of CIO, rocking/sushing etc. whatever helps her sleep. And you have to get DH on board with the change and be consistent which I know is super hard to do, especially in the MOTN. When she points to the door, softly explain this is your room and your bed and you need her to be a big girl and go to sleep in her own bed. When we use "I need you to be a big girl and do x" she fights the issue less. One blessing about having M in her cast is we don't pick her up or rock her to comfort her because she doesn't stay asleep when we transfer her. We lay next to her crib and sing to her and hold her hand if necessary.

Do you use a pacifier, lovey, or noise machine at night?

[RiseAndWine]

Grass is always greener, I tell you. E has started waking overnight or really early in the morning like 4:30 or 5 and I would love for him to crash in my bed until we're ready to get up. But he has never once slept in my bed. He just won't. So when he's up I either have to stay in his room and rock him in the glider until he is calm and sleepy again, or I get up with him. Both options suck. If it's the wee hours in the morning and he wakes like that and rocking him doesn't work, I'll let him CIO.

[pumpkinpeanut]

Is there enough space in her room to put a twin mattress? My girls get in our bed around 11pm/midnight, but one thing you could do is put a mattress down in her room, and you could lie down with her when she wakes up, and then move her back to her bed or just leave her there and slip away after she falls asleep? That is going to be my next step in the transition from our bed to theirs (whenever that happens).

[pumpkinpeanut]

Also, last fall we went through something a little similar after we went out of town for a few days, and E refused to go to bed in her crib after we got back home - she would cry and point to my bed (her crib was in our room then). To break that habit I refused to let her fall asleep in my bed, but I stayed there with her, holding her or patting her back as long as it took to get her to sleep. I'd say it took about a week of this until she stopped crying for my bed. However, that was at 8 pm. I don't have it in me to spend 45 minutes parenting them back to sleep at midnight or 3 AM so that is why they sleep with us after first wakeup.

[cnj]

DD still wakes up most nights. Usually I can just coax her to lay down, cover her with her blanket, rub her back or stroke her hair, and she'll go back to sleep. On the more difficult nights, we let her cry. She always calms down and goes back to sleep within 20 mins.

I'm terrified that if we bring her in our bed once, it will become an every night thing. It's not feasible to do at this point anyway, since DS still nurses a few times per night.

[cgiles120812]

This has been happening a lot to us too, her whole sleep schedule is just messed up. I'm at a loss right now.

[hbrockman01]

I have been dealing with this exact same thing. We finally had to call it quits with regards to DD sleeping with us b/c daddy went to 1st shift and DD is a bed hog!! What has been working for us, is I typically put her down between 8-830 and if she wakes at like 11 or at any point really, I will go in (not speaking) lay her back down, cover her back up and walk back out. I have had to do this multiple times in a night, but for the last 2 nights she has slept straight through! I can only hope that we are breaking ground... hope things start looking up for you! I wish I could get LO to sleep in her crib at nap time, any suggestions??!

[allydncr]

Jan 30, 2015 8:35:56 GMT -5 3timemom said:

Does she wake up screaming like that every night? My oldest had night terrors and she would wake up screaming and then she would just stop. Although she rarely every fell back asleep right away.

She goes back and forth. I vaguely remember a while back having almost a whole month where she slept in her crib all night. Whenever she wakes up, she always immediately starts crying. She never wakes up quietly! Sometimes she'll cry out and go right back down, but usually she will be standing up and crying. 

[allydncr]

Jan 30, 2015 9:09:04 GMT -5 RiseAndWine said:

Grass is always greener, I tell you. E has started waking overnight or really early in the morning like 4:30 or 5 and I would love for him to crash in my bed until we're ready to get up. But he has never once slept in my bed. He just won't. So when he's up I either have to stay in his room and rock him in the glider until he is calm and sleepy again, or I get up with him. Both options suck. If it's the wee hours in the morning and he wakes like that and rocking him doesn't work, I'll let him CIO.

We are lucky that she will *usually* go right back to sleep if it's early enough, but more and more lately she will ask for milk or say "go play? go play?". But by then it's usually around 6, which is when we get up during the week. I just wish she would sleep in a little on the weekends! 

[allydncr]

Moving her after she falls asleep is tough. And like pumpkinpeanut, I don't have it in me at 3am. Heck, I had to ask DH last night when she came into our bed, she didn't even wake me up! If we go into her room at all, we have a hard time getting her to lay down. We would have to hold her down (which I wouldn't do!). One of my coworkers today said that her son did the same thing around this age for about a month or so, so I am crossing my fingers that it will get better.

[Stormtroopooper]

HC has been waking up at 3 a.m. on the dot lately. I usually wait a few minutes before I check on him, because sometimes he can get himself back to sleep. If not, I'll go to his room, but I won't take him out of his crib. I usually tell him everything is okay, lay him back down, and make sure he can reach his security blanket. He usually screams about 10-15 more minutes and falls back to sleep. If he's having a really bad night, I will pick him up and rock him back to sleep.

There are nights I wish he would sleep in our bed, but he won't. As soon as we put him in our bed, he thinks it's play time. Anytime we try to get him to lie down, he pitches a royal fit. He slept in our bed until he was nine months old, so I'm not sure what changed.