Monthly check in time!

[badgergirl66]

It looks like it's been just over a month since our last check in, so I figured it was time for another.

How's everyone doing?

Where are you in the process?

And for fun, what's your favorite holiday/Christmas movie?

[lbey]

Our daughter will move in on the 19th! Last Sunday we were at a xmas light display and there was an "Imagine" house. These were her words "I imagine I will have a xmas with a family.With (she said our names including the dog), my forever family" needless to say after telling her I imagined the same I turned to the side and started crying...lol

[redandblue]

Thanks for the check in badgergirl66,

How's everyone doing? Everyone is great! M turns 4 months on the 16th! He is growing like a weed and learning new things almost daily! It's super fun to watch. We are all excited about the holidays and celebrating our little family of 4!

We have openness with M's 2 bio-siblings that have been adopted by the same family. They live a couple hours from us, but facebook helps us to stay connected. We look forward to meeting up with them over the holidays. They have let us know that their parents (bio-sib's grand parents) have extended an invitation to have our family over during the holidays. Our hearts feel full knowing how our little family has grown!

Where are you in the process? We have adopted through a CAS in an infant consent situation. The consent for adoption was signed by BM in September and we officially signed his placement paperwork for adoption on October 21. We have 6 months of probation (starting from August) and then it goes to the courts. Our SW said to anticipate that to take a couple of months for finalization. My hope would be that finalization happens before his first birthday. But as we know, we have zero control over these things!

And for fun, what's your favorite holiday/Christmas movie? I love Elf for a family movie, and Love Actually for a girly-sit-in-with-a-glass-of-wine movie!

[browneyes8]

Doing great here! Our social worker just submitted the court report so we now just wait for everything to be approved to finalize DS2 adoption. We don't go to court here. With the holidays I don't expect this to happen until early 2016, but I'm thrilled since yesterday was the earliest she could submit it.

Favorite holiday movie, really TV show is "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street"- we always watch in on Christmas Eve and even did in between time when my siblings/cousins were all kids and had no kids yet. DS1 now loves it .

[ceejay]

Thanks for the check-in, badgergirl66 !

We've had our 2 foster sons in our home for 3 months now. They are both great kids, and we love having them with us. They are both growing so fast! There has been very little progress in their case because their bio parents show very little initiative/interest and rarely show up for scheduled appointments and mandatory drug tests. The boys have only had one visit with their parents back in early October, because the parents are required to show up for and pass drug tests to have their weekly visits, and they haven't shown up for any drug tests until last week (at which they tested positive for drugs). The next court date is scheduled for January, which will be the paternity hearing and possibly also adjudication. So it will still be a while before we know if we might be able to adopt the boys in the future.

Favorite holiday movie is Elf!

[jwinct]

lbey- How wonderful! I got teary reading that!

redandblue - I'm so glad your little guy is doing so well. I hope things move along quickly and finalization happens before his birthday. Also, you're a girl after my own heart because those are my two favorite holiday movies, too!

browneyes8 - That's great! Good luck! I hope the approval happens quickly!

ceejay - I'm glad things are going well with your boys, but it's still so sad that the parents miss so many visitations and can't get their act together for the sake of their children. Hopefully it won't take too long to find out if you'll be able to adopt them.


We have been licensed to foster-to-adopt for almost a month now. We got our second call this morning, which was about an almost 5 year old little boy. Unfortunately, he would not be a good fit for us. (They obviously don't care what you have on your adoption registration because he was not a match for us, just based on some basic information on our form.)

It was the first time I've ever spoken to our new support worker, who told me she was literally just assigned to us today, and said she said she hadn't had a chance to read our homestudy yet. She's coming to our house for a home visit in two weeks.

[redandblue]

jwinct, I'm sorry, but I can't believe all the run around you have had to endure with your process of licensing and now with matching. I believe that the 'checklist' is a rough-ish start for most CAS, but to not even check that before presenting a child to you. That just seems wrong. Are there any advocating groups that you can give feedback to on your process so far? I know we have a group here provincially that allows us to give feedback and then they take it to the province. Not that it will effect immediate change, but having them helps to feel optimistic for the future.

[alaskadee]

I haven't check in in awhile! This will be long

Where to begin, I think I lasted posted that our match had fallen apart and we decided to walk away in Sept. Some time in Oct, BM reached out to us and stated that she really wanted us to adopt her son and that she felt it was what was best for her son.
We were hesitant, but after talking things out, we moved forward and began rekindling our relationship.
Baby S was born on 11/24 via c-section. We were able to be at the hospital the whole time! The hospital accommodated us by giving us a room, as it was BM's wish that he be in our care shortly after birth and she and her family had time with him.
We spent 3 days in the hospital and then waited out ICPC for 7. We've been home since last Thursday evening.
We are so in love with him!! We were so lucky to have such an awesome relationship with BM and her family. We had dinner with them twice at her parent's and able to spend time together. It was so difficult leaving her. I felt peace from her and her decision, but the sadness in her eyes when she would hold him my heart, but you could see how much she loved him. So bittersweet!
We were also so lucky to have a photographer from Red thread Sessions. She spent hours with us at the hospital getting some pretty amazing pictures. Then she offered us studio time! We got some great pictures that we plan to use for BM as Christmas presents! So excited!!
Finalization should occur in the next 60-90 days. I still think I'm in disbelief that this happened...

Eta: thought I'd share a pic. Baby's first grandma gave permission for me to be in the nursery while he we getting weighed and measured, etc.

[redandblue]

alaskadee, Oh what an amazing update!!! I'm sitting here tearing up at your photo. It's just gorgeous! Congrats to you and your family!!

(I really wanted to have our first meeting photographed too, as my best friend is a photographer, but with it being a CAS adoption we were told only my H and I could be at the hospital. It is forever in my memory though....)

[alaskadee]

Dec 9, 2015 16:56:22 GMT -5 redandblue said:

alaskadee, Oh what an amazing update!!! I'm sitting here tearing up at your photo. It's just gorgeous! Congrats to you and your family!!

(I really wanted to have our first meeting photographed too, as my best friend is a photographer, but with it being a CAS adoption we were told only my H and I could be at the hospital. It is forever in my memory though....)

Thank you! I can't wait to see the rest of the pictures. She got pictures with all of us at the hospital! What beautiful memories to always cherish!

[chicago]

We are doing great ... Enjoying our first Christmas/Holiday season.
Baby girl is 11 weeks old. I go back to work next week. I'm so lucky to get so much time off ... But I'm super sad to not be with her 24x7. We did short days with daycare this week to help us all with the transition.
We're still trying to organize a visit with the BM over the holidays. She's not getting back to us with dates. I really hope we can get together. At this stage I won't push it ... As baby girl won't remember. I just hope that it's that she's a bit busy right now. I know that she is looking at the pictures I'm posting for her so that's good.

[badgergirl66]

There are some great updates in here. Congrats alaskadee!!!! That photo is amazing. I'm so glad things worked out.

We've been matched with an expectant mom since August. (She's having a boy!) It's going really well. I go with her to every dr appt that I can. I think I've only missed two? Plus, we text regularly. She's so sweet, and I truly care about her. I'm going on the hospital tour with her in a couple weeks. It's hard to be in such a long match. But we only have about 5 weeks to go!

If anyone ever has questions about a long match, attending dr appts, hospital tours, etc., I'm happy to chat. Although I know every match and EM is so different!

I'm currently non stop watching made for tv crappy Christmas movies. My favorites are Elf, Die Hard (teasing a little), and then a lot of movies I watched as a kid (mickey, ziggy, etc.).

[nextchapter24]

Hi everyone! Good to hear all your updates!
Not too much going on for us- We have been officially waiting a little under a month now. In January we are going to start on our nursery
My favorite Xmas movies are Elf, A Christmas Story, and Love Actually.

[gnomesweetgnome]

We are nearing the end of our first foster care placement. The girls have been with us since Sept 19. Just waiting on bio mom to secure daycare and then they will be returned to her.

It has been emotionally and physically draining, and I totally understand why the state has such a hard time recruiting and then keeping foster parents. I question every day whether I'm cut out for this and feel like a failure a lot.

We will probably take a few weeks to just be the three of us after the girls go home, partly because of the holidays and partly because we need to recharge. This is definitely not for the faint of heart

[alaskadee]

Dec 10, 2015 11:17:15 GMT -5 gnomesweetgnome said:

We are nearing the end of our first foster care placement. The girls have been with us since Sept 19. Just waiting on bio mom to secure daycare and then they will be returned to her.

It has been emotionally and physically draining, and I totally understand why the state has such a hard time recruiting and then keeping foster parents. I question every day whether I'm cut out for this and feel like a failure a lot.

We will probably take a few weeks to just be the three of us after the girls go home, partly because of the holidays and partly because we need to recharge. This is definitely not for the faint of heart

I can only imagine how difficult that must be! I was a child and adolescent counselor for years and I always struggled not allowing myself to not be emotionally attached to the kids and wanting to fix everything. I commend foster parents...it can't be easy. hugs as you recharge!

[gnomesweetgnome]

Dec 10, 2015 12:54:06 GMT -5 alaskadee said:

Dec 10, 2015 11:17:15 GMT -5 gnomesweetgnome said:

We are nearing the end of our first foster care placement. The girls have been with us since Sept 19. Just waiting on bio mom to secure daycare and then they will be returned to her.

It has been emotionally and physically draining, and I totally understand why the state has such a hard time recruiting and then keeping foster parents. I question every day whether I'm cut out for this and feel like a failure a lot.

We will probably take a few weeks to just be the three of us after the girls go home, partly because of the holidays and partly because we need to recharge. This is definitely not for the faint of heart

I can only imagine how difficult that must be! I was a child and adolescent counselor for years and I always struggled not allowing myself to not be emotionally attached to the kids and wanting to fix everything. I commend foster parents...it can't be easy. hugs as you recharge!

Well, I'm not attached to them, and that's part of what makes me feel bad. I had s long talk with DH about all the things that are bothering me last night, and it felt good to get it out, even though nothing was resolved.

[pinkie]

Hi everyone - it's nice to read everyone's updates.

I won't have any adoption related updates because we are finalized but I can update on the kids.

Our older son is moving towards 3 yrs old. He's such a sweet, silly and smart little boy. He had a holiday "concert" at daycare and it was the cutest thing ever. He just stood there and was silly at the end of each song but it was so cute to watch all the little kids trying.

Our baby is something else. He's totally into everything and loves to try to do things he shouldn't do lol. We never baby proofed much with our older son but are finding it necessary this time. He's very sweet but also very stubborn and relentless

Things are slightly easier since they can play together somewhat and then also harder since our little guy is totally mobile.

Favorite Christmas movie - um I have many but I think I'll go funny and say Christmas vacation

[lizblue]

Hi all, thanks for the check in.

We are doing great. R is 3.5 months old and so adorable and fun. She feels like she's been part of our family forever. The court date for legal/final termination of her birthparents' rights is December 17th, which is also our wedding anniversary. And then finalization court date should be scheduled sometime in late January. We were hoping for a 2015 finalization for tax purposes, but we knew that was really unlikely. As it is, things are moving pretty quickly and I'm grateful for how smooth our process has been.

I find myself thinking about R's birthparents a lot. They indicated that they would like to see us twice per year but they haven't contacted the agency yet (not necessarily unusual). I know they are receiving our letters and pictures, but we haven't received any feedback. I just hope they are doing ok and I look forward to the day they can see R and give her a squeeze. I hope they still want to do that, and I hope that brings them happiness.

Favorite Christmas movie: So many, but Its a Wonderful Life and National Lampoons tie for first.

[roxy]

I'm a little late to the party since work has gotten crazy this week. We are doing really well, just waiting for the 23rd to hurry up and get here. The kiddo told me last night that he is way more excited for finalization than for Christmas.

alaskadee,I'm so happy for you guys. I'm sitting here tearing up at my desk over your update. Congratulations!

[redandblue]

Dec 11, 2015 9:23:11 GMT -5 roxy said:

I'm a little late to the party since work has gotten crazy this week. We are doing really well, just waiting for the 23rd to hurry up and get here. The kiddo told me last night that he is way more excited for finalization than for Christmas.

alaskadee ,I'm so happy for you guys. I'm sitting here tearing up at my desk over your update. Congratulations!

This makes my heart sing for you guys! Enjoy the next couple of weeks celebrating!

[frenchteachermama]

Thanks for the check in badgergirl66,

I'm sorry I don't have time to respond to everyone individually! I'm so swamped with my finals for my PhD classes

How's everyone doing?

We're doing well (except for the one last huge paper I have due on Friday! Last week was my 38th birthday and I decided to announce our decision to adopt and "out" my journey with infertility on facebook. It felt so liberating and the supportive comments we received were amazing. I took pictures of my daughters holding signs that said "waiting for you" and "growing in our hearts" they turned our really nice!

Where are you in the process?

We have been officially live with all of the offices in our agency for a week now. The waiting is hard but with Hanukkah, Christmas (we celebrate both) and all of my coursework I have plenty of distractions. I know it could be a really long wait so we just have to be patient.

And for fun, what's your favorite holiday/Christmas movie?

I love Elf!

[nobb14]

Hey yo! Little Goo is 2 months- I can't believe what a little man he's become, especially with how alert and smart he already is. I also really can't believe this has all happened, and I'm a mother... sometimes I get so overcome with emotion I just stop everything to give him a big squeeze and make sure he's really here with us. I'm slowly emotionally healing from the bumpy road it took to get us to where we are today.


We are hitting the first of our agreed two month marks to send BM an update- I'll probably type up a letter with how he's doing, plus send some framed photos and clothes hes outgrown. I think she will be blown away with how big he's gotten, and be thrilled with how much he looks like her.

It's awesome to read everyone's updates!

[chele]

Nothing new to report here. We are still fostering the same two sisters. The oldest just turned 10, and the youngest is 6. Apparently at last week's court hearing, the bio mom was told she has a three- to six-month window to get her act together and get her girls back. This surprised me as I thought the girls were going to live with a relative after their interstate assessments were done (two aunts are interested.)

So that's three to six months before we can move on and wait for a placement that might lead to adoption. Ugh, I love these girls but I wanna start my own family.

[persianmaman]

We are doing alright. We had a rough Thanksgiving - it was our first without my FIL. Lovely MIL took it as well as could be expected, but I do this our presence helped and we could all grieve together. The hardest bit was when DH's grandma cornered me away from the rest of the family (so no rescue) to insist that we didn't know what we were doing, we were going to regret the adoption, the child was going to resent us for being a transracial family, and I would get pregnant afterward anyway so why were we bothering. I smiled and did my best to address each one concern individually and she eventually relented and changed the topic.

On the adoption front, we are waiting. Waaaaaaaaaiting waiting waiting. Our FB group for those folks adopting from South Africa is all eager because we are expecting another batches of matches come late January. We ourselves don't expect to be matched until next summer because we asked not to be due to FMLA, but hey - that gets closer and closer! I'm thinking of painting the nursery over the holiday break - gonna do an underwater theme. How gorgeous would this be?

Favorite Holiday movie? A tie between the Holiday, which I love to watch by myself, or Hogfather, which I watch with friends.