~*~*~Loss Check-In Dec 16~*~*~

[flutterfly88]

Welcome to the Loss check-in! This is a board-wide check-in for all of us who have suffered a late term pregnancy or child loss. As this is a board-wide check-in and we are all at different stages in our grief, please remember to post warnings for any subjects related to pregnancy or living children. 

I am also so sorry to have to welcome any new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too. 

Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately? 

Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share?

QOTW: Do you have any holiday plans or do you plan to do nothing? Are you planning to do anything in remembrance of your angel this holiday? 

[flutterfly88]

*******Living Child Mentioned**********

I just wanted you all to know how important this board is to me and say sorry for how long it took to get this check-in posted. I think it is so good that we have this place and are able to support each other. With that being said, it may take me a little while to respond, as I just had my rainbow 2 weeks ago, so life is quite busy. I am still planning on making you all a priority, as I know how important this community is. Sending love to you all. ((((Hugs))))

[heartpresidents]

No need to apologize flutterfly88! Congratulations!

[mommytoava]

Congratulations on your rainbow baby @flutterly88

[diamondsndaisies]

flutterfly88 , Congrats on your rainbow and enjoy your miracle

Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately? DH and I finally sat down and looked at the pictures of the girls that were taken in the hospital. It was hard, but also comforting. We were kinda heartbroken when we realized that some of the pictures we took were missing, which include both of us holding them. I am still waiting for a call back from the hospital saying if they found them or not. I pray that they do. 

Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? To get through Christmas. 

Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share? I am still dealing with medical problems that were caused by pregnancy and finally had a good report. I had blood work done and everything came back normal, which is a relief. I might be able to get my life back now. 

QOTW: Do you have any holiday plans or do you plan to do nothing? Are you planning to do anything in remembrance of your angel this holiday? The usual list of gatherings. DH's aunt made us ornaments with the girl's names on them, but other than that nothing in particular. I am just wanting to get through it without too many tears. 

[murrt]

flutterfly88 congratulations on your rainbow!

I'm doing OK. I got the ornament we ordered in honor of my baby. I hadn't told DH about it, but when I did and showed it to him, he got super teary and had such a look of love. He gave me a huge hug, told me how thoughtful I am, and we hung the ornament. It made me really happy.

We passed our due date and I felt relieved. Like I needed that date to pass to be able to get on with my life.

This time of year is hard though, to get all the Christmas cards with little kids and to know my Christmas will be very different from how I expected to spend it.



As for the holidays, we are spending it with my family. There won't be many gifts this year because I just lost my job last month, but it will be nice to be with everyone.

[peaseblossom55]

Congrats flutterfly88!
Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately?
Not really anything. Her due date is coming up on New Years Day I hope that helps with some of the healing.

Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? No goals per se. I am trying to be positive and focus on this cycle of TTC and hoping this one will our rainbow.




Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share?
I feel upset she won't be here for Xmas or close to it. I bought her a few presents yesterday which I donated to toys for tots, I didn't want to give them away, but that was the purpose. I feel sad for her EDD coming up and I really just want to sleep through the holidays. I am dreading Christmas so much, I worry I'm just going to be a mess emotionally.

[flutterfly88]

Thanks everyone  

diamondsndaisies, I'm glad you and YH were able to look at the pictures. I hope you are able to get the rest of the pictures. Good news about your bloodwork! The holidays can be hard, it's okay to put yourself first, and do what you need to in order to get through. If you need to shed some tears, it's okay to let them come. (((hugs)))

murrt, I'm glad your ornament came and that YH is happy with it. Getting past those firsts can be helpful in the grieving process. I'm happy to hear that passing your edd has helped you. (((hugs)))

peaseblossom55, sending good thoughts that this cycle is it for you! I love the idea of buying toys for your angel and donating them in her honour. That's a beautiful way of remembering her. Do whatever you need to do to get through. The holidays and anniversaries are hard, especially the first ones. The best and hardest thing to do is to allow yourself to grieve and feel/express all the emotions that come. Be kind to yourself these next few weeks. (((hugs))). 

[flutterfly88]

Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately? I finished the griefshare program. It was good and somewhat helpful. It helped put a few thngs in perspective.


Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Kust trying to figure out my new normal, and how Parker's memory fits into that.


QOTW: Do you have any holiday plans or do you plan to do nothing? Are you planning to do anything in remembrance of your angel this holiday? Christmas eve we'll go to the midnight candle light servce in the little chapel where DH and I got married and had Parker's funeral. The cemetery is right next door and we'll visit Parker after and take him a little Christmas tree. I also donated a goat in hus memory through a charitable organization. DH doesn't know, my plan is to have the card wrapped and under the tree as a surprise for Christmas morning. We plan on splitting the day between our two families and it should be mostly good. A little hard too though as this was supposed to be Parker's first Christmas and he isn't here to celebrate with us.

[iheartbroccoli]

My son Theodore (Theo) was born on Dec 8 and passed away on Dec 9; he was born without lungs. There were no signs of any problems during the pregnancy, and it was a huge shock.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately? I met with a therapist last week, and she helped me come up with some things I can do to remember him. I'm allowing myself to cry and actually accept the help of others.

Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? We want to start trying for our second child next summer, and I want to get back in shape and super healthy before then. Waiting to be cleared by my doc for exercise, but I am trying to eat healthy now (easier said than done-everyone is bringing us sweets! Lol).

Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share? I can't take facebook right now. I'm avoiding it like the plague, as it seems everybody is announcing births or pregnancies right now. I'm happy for them, but it's like a knife in the heart right now.

QOTW: Do you have any holiday plans or do you plan to do nothing? Are you planning to do anything in remembrance of your angel this holiday? I go between wanting to avoid everyone and wanting to see some people, so we have no idea what we'll be doing and will play it by ear. I am having a photo we took of Theo printed and framed, and then a friend will take a picture of us with Theo's photo in front of our tree as our first family picture.

[flutterfly88]

I'm so sorry for your loss iheartbroccoli.
I'm glad that the therapist was helpful. Are you going to continue to see her? I love the family picture idea. I hope it turns out well. Whatever you decide to do or not do for the holidays will be the right thing for you, so don't let anyone (including yourself) make you feel guilty about your choices. (((((hugs)))))

[iheartbroccoli]

Dec 23, 2015 12:06:48 GMT -5 flutterfly88 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss iheartbroccoli .
I'm glad that the therapist was helpful. Are you going to continue to see her? I love the family picture idea. I hope it turns out well. Whatever you decide to do or not do for the holidays will be the right thing for you, so don't let anyone (including yourself) make you feel guilty about your choices. (((((hugs)))))

Thank you flutterfly88. I do plan on seeing her again.

And thank you for the reminder about the holidays! Family and friends are all offering to have us (which we appreciate), but it's hard to say no sometimes.