2.0 + Moms Help Me

[lakecountrygal]

So now that I'm KU with 2.0 I've realized I just don't feel as connected or excited about this pregnancy as I was when I was KU with my M14 (DS). I don't have any bump pictures, I cried when I had to wear maternity pants today because regular pants hurt too much, and I'm still trying hardcore to hide my bump from everyone at work. When I was told I looked pregnant today I nearly lost it.

When did you start to feel connected to your second (or third or more) pregnancy?? Was it right away or was there a delay?? Am I just insanely weird or is this normal?? I feel like a crappy soon-to-be second time mom.

[younglove316]

You aren't crappy at all! It took me awhile to feel connected. Honestly it was probably after she was born that it really hit me. I was so miserable chasing a toddler and everything else that I just wished the whole thing to go by quickly.

[katka512]

I'm just starting to really feel more connected now at 30 weeks. The first trimester I just felt so sick and it was hard with a toddler.
My first pregnancy I couldn't wait to have a bump. This time, I felt like my bump came too quickly.
It's finally starting to feel like we are going to have another baby soon. Before now, I had trouble imagining another child in our house.
So, You aren't a bad second time mom at all! I also felt guilty I didn't have the same excitement.

[Deleted]

I was not "connected" during my 3rd pregnancy; nowhere near the way I was eagerly anticipating everything during the previous. I think your reaction is natural and normal and I wouldn't give it another thought (the fact you are voicing the concern to me shows you do really care more than you are giving yourself credit for!). Perhaps your busy with older child and seriously sometimes being pg isn't all that fun. Be gentle with yourself and don't worry once the babe is in your arms (at some point! even if not in the first moment) your heart will swell like the Grinch and you'll feel like it's about to burst from your chest. best wishes!

[fishbulb]

I'm just now starting to feel connection at 20 weeks. It helps that we know the sex and that she's moving around consistently and reminding me that she's in there. Up until now I've been too consumed with keeping up with J to think that much about this pregnancy.

By the way I hate all pants right now, maternity or not. My tummy is just extra sensitive to pressure this time around.

[fish8412]

I'm connected to my second pregnancy (due 1/23) but I don't obsess over it like my first pregnancy because I'm with DD all day/night long. The two pregnancies are just very different because right now we have a toddler and before I was working full time. Don't beat yourself up over how you feel! Just remember you are very fortunate to be pregnant.

[mrssmith613]

I just had a question on my nursing final about this. It's totally normal :-)

With #1 I didn't feel excited until the end. For some reason I fee like I was more embarrassed cuz DH and I weren't married and didn't plan on having kids for awhile but it happened.

With #2 it took me awhile after he was born to even like him. That's probably not the right way to put it but he cried so much he was exhausting.

Now with #3 I am excited, probably because it's a girl and I already have two boys. I'm not constantly trying to entertain #1 because #2 is here for him to play with so that's different then #2s pregnancy.

Hang in there it'll get better and once your squish is here you'll forget you ever felt like this!

[lakecountrygal]

Thanks ladies! It helps to know its normal, I told my students today and even that felt like I was lying to them. They said they had no idea but my co-workers were commenting on how large my bump is. I'll continue to give it more time, maybe I need time and that will come.

[Deleted]

I took awhile for me to connect and the connection wasn't nearly as strong as it was with DD. The gap between my first 2 was so large that they both felt like my "first" so I didn't notice a difference. I think it's bc you are so busy with your M14 baby you don't have the time to just sit and think about this baby.

[bsouls]

I feel like I'll be disconnected if I have a second pregnancy. I don't really want another newborn, but I want another kid. I also love T so much that I can't imagine loving another the same. And, it took me about eight months to fully feel in love with T. So, don't stress - it'll all work out.

[fishbulb]

To be perfectly honest I'm dreading having a newborn again. I have no idea how I'm going to handle parenting J while that sleep deprived. MH better step up his game.

[RandomName]

I didn't feel connected until after 2.0 arrived. And it took a bit. I really didn't even picture two kids during the whole pregnancy; logically I knew I have a baby but it's odd I didn't picture myself with 2 kids. I may have 6-7 belly shots and I def didn't document anything like I did with DD. Most of the time I guessed how far along I was and really didn't know exact weeks/days. You aren't crappy, abnormal or anything of the sort. Your focus is different with a toddler running around.

[Deleted]

Dec 19, 2015 23:37:01 GMT -5 fishbulb said:

To be perfectly honest I'm dreading having a newborn again. I have no idea how I'm going to handle parenting J while that sleep deprived. MH better step up his game.

I'm not going to lie or sugar coat it. Having to care for L and DD has been the hardest thing I have done. My H isn't always home to help me at night and there have been nights where I maybe got 3-4 hours with 15 minutes, sprinkled throughout the night, where they were both asleep at the same time. In fact, last night was pretty bad. After a month, I finally feel like I have hit my "groove" with both of them. So the past week has been so much easier than before. So it gets better but it takes time to figure out what the heck you're doing.

[younglove316]

I agree with @babylentilbean on it being super tough! There were a lot of tears, from myself and both girls. I forgot just how much the lack of sleep sucked and just how exhausted I would be. I finally got a decent night of sleep last night and it makes the world of difference. I just keep reminding myself that it's a phase and it will eventually pass. DD2 will be 6 weeks on Friday and I'm finally starting to feel like I can do this.

[RandomName]

I want to +1 about it being tough to watch both kids. DS has been an awful sleeper and to keep up with DD all day is exhausting. Even now at almost 5 months he stil sleeps horribly. But he is much more active during the day rolling around and he's fascinated with DD so it helps. It is getting better. Just putting it out there that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still approaching it but it's at least more visible from where I'm standing The newborn stage seems to fly by once it's over.

[pearlvirus]

2.0 is 6 weeks outside and I still don't feel that connected. I'm too tired and just trying to get by. Dd1 is just so busy, I feel like dd2 will never get my full attention

[RandomName]

Based on how the few of us are in survival mode, should we start a weekly checkin for us 2.0 mom for sanity? Maybe to see how we are all doing?

[younglove316]

Dec 22, 2015 7:30:41 GMT -5 RandomName said:

Based on how the few of us are in survival mode, should we start a weekly checkin for us 2.0 mom for sanity? Maybe to see how we are all doing?

I would like that! I feel like I'm really struggling at times still.

[pearlvirus]

Dec 22, 2015 7:30:41 GMT -5 RandomName said:

Based on how the few of us are in survival mode, should we start a weekly checkin for us 2.0 mom for sanity? Maybe to see how we are all doing?

Yeah, do it!

[fish8412]

Dec 22, 2015 7:30:41 GMT -5 RandomName said:

Based on how the few of us are in survival mode, should we start a weekly checkin for us 2.0 mom for sanity? Maybe to see how we are all doing?

Yes I would like this for when DD2 arrives.

[katka512]

Dec 22, 2015 20:33:19 GMT -5 fish8412 said:

Dec 22, 2015 7:30:41 GMT -5 RandomName said:

Based on how the few of us are in survival mode, should we start a weekly checkin for us 2.0 mom for sanity? Maybe to see how we are all doing?

Yes I would like this for when DD2 arrives.

Me too!

[lakecountrygal]

Dec 22, 2015 7:30:41 GMT -5 RandomName said:

Based on how the few of us are in survival mode, should we start a weekly checkin for us 2.0 mom for sanity? Maybe to see how we are all doing?

I'm totally on board with this since my new BMB sucks!! I wouldn't be able to join in until late May or June though since my EDD is 6/2/16.

[RandomName]

I think there's enough interest I'll put together a checkin. What day do we want it? Monday or Tuesday could be nice.

[fish8412]

Dec 23, 2015 4:06:46 GMT -5 RandomName said:

I think there's enough interest I'll put together a checkin. What day do we want it? Monday or Tuesday could be nice.

I'm down for whatever! If you already have baby #2 (or 3), please share any advice/tips. I'm so anxious/paranoid about DD feeling abandoned by me. She is such a mommy's girl.

[Deleted]

Dec 22, 2015 7:30:41 GMT -5 RandomName said:

Based on how the few of us are in survival mode, should we start a weekly checkin for us 2.0 mom for sanity? Maybe to see how we are all doing?

This is a great idea!

[RandomName]

I haven't forgot about the checkin. I'm mid move, we leave our condo tomorrow to stay with my inlaws until we buy a house. I may not be around as consistently in the next few weeks so if someone wants to take the reins on the checkin I wouldn't be offended.

[newmomma8]

I'm late to this, but don't beat yourself up. I'm actually more worried about this pregnancy than the M14 one because I know the difficulties I went through. But, I find that T requires a lot of time and effort so I don't focus so much on this pregnancy like I did last time. Maybe it's just you have more going on this time and don't actually have the time to focus and "connect". I know I've been a lot more relaxed during this pregnancy than M14.

Sorry if I've repeated others, I just realized there are more comments I missed.

[fishbulb]

I'm late to the thread, but please tag min the check in too!