Advice for Sept '16

[xcrissx]

Guise, their board is live. Leave some love for the Sept 16 moms and we'll link this thread over there when our posts fizzle out.

[uclameghan]

Congratulations!

I think my biggest piece of advice is to trust your gut. You are your baby's mom and you know them best. You'll know when things are right or wrong or if things work for them or don't. Be open to taking (and trying) everyone's solicited (and unsolicited) advice, but ultimately the right' way for your baby is your right way!

Also, keep repeating 'this too shall pass.'

[xcrissx]

Congratulations! I hope each of you a very happy and healthy nine months.

First Tri: If you're experiencing morning sickness (the generic, run of the mill stuff) try eating hourly, starting before you get out of bed. Wearing a bra to bed might help keep your breasts from aching quite as much.

Second Tri: maternity pants are amazing. Switch to them as soon as possible. If you insist on holding on to your buttons, a Bella band will be your friend. Finish the nursery, deep house cleaning, etc now. No, it isn't too soon.

Third Tri: ask about medication if you have heartburn. That shit sucks. The last month will feel like an eternity but the baby has to come out eventually. Promise. Remember that 40 weeks is an estimate. Plan to be pregnant 42. That way you aren't feeling desperate at your 39 weeks appointment and agree to medical interventions you don't really want.

Newborn: accept help and sleep whenever you can. It won't feel like it at the time but it will fly by.

Always: don't hesitate to call the doctor. Ever. That is why they are there and they have talked to someone crazier than you three times already that day.

[emejay]

Congratulations September 2016!!!

First - DON'T GOOGLE STUFF. Pregnancy is weird and full of things you didn't know would happen. Buy panty liners, now.

Also - why don't you go ahead and take a nude picture. Mmkay, moving on.

Padsicles. After birth, that is the one thing that you will need. Oh and do whatever is in your power to have a private room.

Babywise, I'll second the "trust your gut" and will go one step further: your mom and MIL don't remember accurately what having a newborn is. Don't listen to them.

One day, you'll say those words to your teenager: "Stop sleeping so much you lazy kid". Until then, hang on!

But really, this community is by far the best thing that happened to me. These girls are my family, so try to not hate each other just now

[Deleted]

Trust your gut.

Try hard not to compare your baby to other babies on your BMB or your own older kids.
There aren't many "right" ways to do things, just ways that are right for and work for your family.
For breastfeeders- the first three weeks are the hardest, the first 6 weeks are tough, and by 8 weeks things should be so much better.
Babies generally don't sleep when you want them too. They aren't broken.

Motherhood is the hardest, most frustrating, tear inducing, rewarding, amazing journey you will ever take.

Lean on the women in your BMB for support and love. They, above anyone else, know what you are going through. They will get you through.

Hang in there. It goes by fast. Savor all the moments you want but do not feel guilty for wishing the trying times away.

You will be ok. You are the little humans mom. There is no one in the world they love more. You are all they need.

You will be ok. You will rule at being a mom.

Ask lots of questions. None of them are dumb.

[mowkey]

Just congratulations! I don't have any advice. I've done this twice and still feel like an amateur sometimes. And that's ok too.

[andtheheartbreakers]

Congratulations to each of you!!

Your BMB will become some of your greatest friends. It's so amazing to have a group of women who understand and can give you hair pats or tell you to smarten up when needed.

Also enjoy pregnancy. I thought it was pretty much the worst thing ever, but now suddenly I have a three month old baby and would love to go back and take more time to appreciate the anticipation that came with imagining what my baby would be like.

Take the meds. Nausea? Take the meds. Heartburn? Take the meds. Constipation? Take the meds. Actually do yourself a favour and just start taking fibre chews now through about 4 weeks postpartum. Buy colace and make padsicles with aloe Vera, witch hazel, and jojoba oil.

Spend time with your partner. For FTMs life will never be the same because even though you can still have date nights you will always be wondering if you child is ok.

If it is feasible for you go to a chiropractor. I went monthly at first, then every two weeks, then weekly as my due date got closer. I fully attribute the fact that I birthed a child with a head the size of a bowling ball to my chiropractor and the fact that she kept my pelvis moving. Also did not have sciatica pain once.

[obie1680]

Congrats! It's hard to believe a year ago this was the the time I got KTFU! No real new advice to give other than what the other ladies have said. It will feel like a long year since you will be pregnant most of it! Happy & Healty 9 months to you all!

[txshep]

Totally just realized today is our conception day. Is that weird that I know that? Anyway...

Congratulations! You will hear so many horror stories as soon as people start finding out that you're pregnant. Why? I don't know, but everyone loves to overshare. Take everything with a grain of salt.

Do you want a med-free birth, and plan to EBF? Great. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen. Did your baby arrive in the world safely and is getting fed and cared for? Awesome. That is what matters.

Your relationship with your SO will change a hundred different times. Some of those times will suck, some will be great. Seeing your SO as a parent to their new child will make your heart swell in ways that can only be beat by how much you can love a screaming little poop machine.

Every second of discomfort during pregnancy and labor is worth it... So freaking incredibly worth it.

[emejay]

Dec 19, 2015 18:00:17 GMT -5 txshep said:

Totally just realized today is our conception day. Is that weird that I know that? Anyway...

Congratulations! You will hear so many horror stories as soon as people start finding out that you're pregnant. Why? I don't know, but everyone loves to overshare. Take everything with a grain of salt.

Do you want a med-free birth, and plan to EBF? Great. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen. Did your baby arrive in the world safely and is getting fed and cared for? Awesome. That is what matters.

Your relationship with your SO will change a hundred different times. Some of those times will suck, some will be great. Seeing your SO as a parent to their new child will make your heart swell in ways that can only be beat by how much you can love a screaming little poop machine.

Every second of discomfort during pregnancy and labor is worth it... So freaking incredibly worth it.

Ah ahhhh you had sex one year agoooo

[mowkey]

txshep Me too!!!!!! Lol. Happy conception day! I texted this to DH earlier and he said not this year - his highlight is he napped and pooped. So much changes in a year.

[mandie]

Congrats!

Plan as much as you want (whether it is a ton or not much at all), but expected the unexpected, too.

Don't be afraid to find your support people and lean on them. Find a person or group you can be 100% honest with, because emotions are intense, even if you are a laid back person.

Whether pregnancy makes you feel beautiful or rundown (or both in the same day), take pictures, because it is a special time.

Perfecting your resting bitch face will go a long way in preventing people touching your belly or saying rude things to you, but it isn't always enough.

If you have another kid, it is ok to worry about how you could possibly love another like him/her. And worry about how much you are changing your bigs life. But it will be ok. Hard but ok. And the first time you see them loving on each other your heart with explode in a way you never thought possible.

You will go through periods of time when you love your partner and think s/he's the best. Then you'll have moments you can't believe you ever procreated together. Sometimes they will happen in the same hour, particularly once the baby is here.

If you don't mesh with your OB/midwife, don't hesitate to change and don't feel locked in. I had to find a new OB from my last pregnancy bc of insurance reasons. I basically only knew I was pregnant for 25 weeks, and I changed practices twice before finding one I loved. Delivering with OBs you trust is key. I actually never met either OB who delivered my kids until the day of, but because I knew their practices and I was comfortable in my provider, it made the experiences much better.

[xcrissx]

Dec 19, 2015 18:19:27 GMT -5 emejay said:

Dec 19, 2015 18:00:17 GMT -5 txshep said:

Totally just realized today is our conception day. Is that weird that I know that? Anyway...

Congratulations! You will hear so many horror stories as soon as people start finding out that you're pregnant. Why? I don't know, but everyone loves to overshare. Take everything with a grain of salt.

Do you want a med-free birth, and plan to EBF? Great. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen. Did your baby arrive in the world safely and is getting fed and cared for? Awesome. That is what matters.

Your relationship with your SO will change a hundred different times. Some of those times will suck, some will be great. Seeing your SO as a parent to their new child will make your heart swell in ways that can only be beat by how much you can love a screaming little poop machine.

Every second of discomfort during pregnancy and labor is worth it... So freaking incredibly worth it.

Ah ahhhh you had sex one year agoooo

Yeah, Sept 16. Expect sex to stop happening. Maybe not right now. And it'll happen again- sooner for some than others. But expect to not want to be touched. By anyone. And to pick sleep over sex. Or showering. Or food.

[minionkeeper]

First off, Congrats!

1. This community is invaluable! If you feel like no one IRL gets it, these women you share this journey will! Don't be afraid to reach out even if it seems ridiculous.

2. Gestational Diabetes- Has NOTHING to do with how healthy or unhealthy you are before and during pregnancy. You can't prevent it. It's a placental issue and will most likely disappear right after birth. Don't freak out! You might need to just simply learn how to eat differently, or even need medication but it won't last forever! Oh and have cheat days!

3. Don't buy a ton of newborn anything, ie diapers, clothes.... Get the basics and play by ear but definitely stock up on bigger sizes.

4. I'll also reiterate, STAY AWAY FROM DR. GOOGLE! Come here or call your nurse line.

5. If your constantly nauseous/ puking, there's meds for that. You don't need to be the hero and try to power through. Dehydration is no joke when pregnant.

6. Sushi, Subway, and coffee are safe. Just moderation.

7. If you're in the U.S., insurance covers a breastpump. Get a good dual electric one. Having extra milk in the freezer can be a lifesaver sometimes.

8. You'll be pregnant through the summer months, swimming is amazing and will help with aches.

9. Pregnancy massage- also amazing. Make sure find someone who is qualified. Don't worry about labor induction. They have to press pretty hard to do that, you'll know!

10. Know the locations of all the bathrooms.

Remember that while 9 months seems like forever, it'll go by quicker than you know. Do everything by 6 or 7 months so you can relax like you'll want to.

Congrats again! Fx for uneventful, stress free gestations!

[sandj918]

Dec 19, 2015 16:17:50 GMT -5 @miawallace said:

Cinnamon rolls is serious business.

Haha! I still love them so much.

[sandj918]

How the hell did we end up on this side?!

Sept. 16, Time goes by so effing fast. Seriously, savor the sweet moments, let go of the shitty ones. Take a million pictures. I still have pictures of my pee sticks and still look at them sometimes.

The only advice I'll give is, you do you. Everyone's different. You may need to POAS every damn day for the first trimester to calm your nerves, do it. You may need to ask a dumb question to get some reassurance, do it. Do whatever you need. Be honest and kind with yourself.

I wish you all the best and I hope each and every one of you are leaving advice for the Sept. 17 board next year.

[xcrissx]

Dec 19, 2015 19:50:28 GMT -5 sandj918 said:

You may need to POAS every damn day for the first trimester to calm your nerves, do it.

Except once your HCG levels get high enough, the tests will stop detecting them. So don't let that freak you out.

[sandj918]

Dec 19, 2015 20:17:44 GMT -5 xcrissx said:

Dec 19, 2015 19:50:28 GMT -5 sandj918 said:

You may need to POAS every damn day for the first trimester to calm your nerves, do it.

Except once your HCG levels get high enough, the tests will stop detecting them. So don't let that freak you out.

True

[nomnom]

Keep moving as long as you can comfortably do so, but take frequent breaks.

Zantac melty tablets stopped me from throwing up on multiple occasions. Twice daily 75mg ranitidine kept me from throwing up during second tri (after I threw up twice and figured out it was from acid reflux).

Ignore stupid comments and advice. Everyone thinks they are a hilarious, wise genius.

Remember that your baby needs a happy, healthy mom. Take care of yourself.

Fiber and vitamin gummies are yummy, but the vitamins don't have iron.

Realize that plans are a starting point. Be flexible as you collide with reality. I thought I'd stay home and cloth diaper and breastfeed my twins. They're now eating formula and wearing disposable diapers and started daycare at 6.5 weeks. I'm a better mom for it because I am happier and healthier.

Resale shops, Varage Sale, and EBay are awesome for baby and maternity clothes. That sh!t costs too much.

Don't hold yourself to absurdly high standards. While pregnant, getting through the day and collapsing into bed is perfectly fine if that's what you need to do. Your body will tell you when you're doing too much if you listen. Same idea after your baby is born. Being a FTM of twins and parenting solo for three weeks, I aim to keep myself and my babies clean and fed. Anything else is frosting on the cake.

Check out some of the specialty boards if they apply to you.

[rnchloe]

Congratulations!! It's the most amazing journey! My advice would be to try to enjoy your time with your partner before baby. Everything changes so much and it's wonderful but this is the last time it's just the two of you.

Don't be afraid to keep family away when you're in the hospital and when you get home. This is a very special time for your new little family. They won't stay mad forever and they won't be able to stay away anyways since they will want to see baby!

When baby gets here make sure you split responsibilities with your partner. I made the mistake of always doing the bedtime routine and night feedings alone and now in heading back to work soon and our baby isn't used to my husband caring for her at night.

This is such a wonderful and exciting time. There is no feeling like holding your new baby for the first time. I would relive that day over and over again if I could! Good luck and congratulations!

[London]

The first time you are standing deliriously over a change table, getting peed on at 3AM, you might wonder if you voluntarily ruined your own life. This is a normal reaction. So is crying a lot at first. However, feeling endlessly depressed or anxious is not. Be aware of the symptoms of PPA/PPD, have your partner be aware of them as well, and check in with yourself often postpartum. Get help in whatever way you need it. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that no baby has ever stayed awake forever. They all sleep eventually.

[mandie]

Dec 19, 2015 19:34:21 GMT -5 minionkeeper said:

[]3. Don't buy a ton of newborn anything, ie diapers, clothes.... Get the basics and play by ear but definitely stock up on bigger sizes.

But if you don't have anything in NB sizes, you are almost guaranteed to have a baby who will need NB clothes for months. Don't make that mistake. Twice, in my case, lol.

[MrsEmuTavi]

Congratulations!
I agree with emejay, step away from Google. This is my pregnancy advice.
As far as baby advice goes, Don't get caught up in all of the things you SHOULD be doing and remember to enjoy your baby. I was so busy doing tummy time and worrying that I didn't embrace cuddle time until now he doesn't want it unless he's asleep.
Also, do what works for you. Starting now and continuing forever. I never thought that I would want to cosleep or be extra paranoid about germs but I have and am. Everyone says sleep on your left side. That didn't work for me, I could only sleep on my right. Turns out that the cord was around his neck and lying on my left made his heart rate drop.
That leads me to my last piece of advice, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. I never realized how strong maternal instincts were until now.

[lilylove31]

Congratulations S16!
Try to enjoy every single moment of your pregnancy and the newborn phase, even the difficult moments, because it all goes by so so fast.
It's okay to have a plan, just keep in mind it's just a guideline. Keep an open mind and remember that things rarely go as planned.
Your body was made to do this. Try to keep this in mind when the going gets tuff and you don't think you can go on.
Don't be afraid to ask for help from family or friends. It really does take a village to raise a child sometimes.
Again congrats! You are just beginning one of the hardest and most rewarding experiences life has to offer.

[soyloca]

Congratulations!! My advice...

Don't cut off tags and pre-wash all your clothes. You will end up with so many you don't use so can re-gift or return.

Get an epidural. You won't regret it.

Don't wish away your pregnancy, it will be over before you know it and your life will never be the same again. Enjoy the time with your partner and go to the movies!!!

[crystaleyes138]

Congrats! Thoughts from a FTM:

1. Whether this is your 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc., remember that every pregnancy is different. Cherish that.

2. I really wanted to BF, but it didn't work for us and it took me 6 weeks to realize it. That being said, if BFing isn't working for you, it is OK to stop. Don't let guilt take over and make you miserable.

3. Going off #2, don't wish away the newborn weeks. I did. The first 8 weeks of my son's life are a complete blur.

4. Try to get your SO to realize that parenting is hard and that you need to be a team. Don't let your SO listen to bad advice from morons.

5. +1 to what soyloca said. Cutting tags and pre-washing may sound like a good idea, but it isn't. You have no idea what size your baby will be and will waste $$$ if you plan ahead.

6. It's cool to plan ahead, but expect your baby to have another agenda. Whether it is the pregnancy, birth, feeding, sleeping, etc. Being flexible will help keep you sane.

7. Don't be afraid to seek out help. If you don't think your sadness or anxiety are "normal", check with your doctor. Don't put it off. You will feel better in the long run if you talk to someone sooner than later.

8. Try not to hate your body. Your body was made to make a baby and it took 9 months to do it. Forgive yourself if you aren't able to bounce back a month later (or whatever your timeline it).

[nomnom]

Babies can projectile poop. Beware.

You may not feel the instant connection to you baby when s/he is born. That's okay. It will develop over the coming weeks and months. You are not a less suited mother because of that.

[London]

Have DH engage with the baby early and often. He is every bit as much a parent as you are, and he needs to know how to do everything you do. He might change diapers differently, he might take a little longer to soothe a crying baby, his onesie choices might be subpar. That is all ok. The more engaged and confident he is early on, the better.

[London]

Your feet might swell to epic proportions. Don't worry- you won't be able to see them soon anyways.

[txshep]

It's okay to be one and done, no matter what your reasoning is behind it. You're not a weirdo for only wanting one kid, and your kid won't be "messed up" from not having siblings. I loved being an only, and hope my daughter will too.

Just be aware that everyone will be asking when you plan to have a second baby before the first is even born.