Question for extended BF moms

[agm04]

Hi mamas,

Hope you don't mind me popping over here.  My DD is 10.5 months old, and I have no desire to wean at a year.  I have a business trip planned in March that I can't get out of - DD will be 13 months old, and it's 5 nights away. (SO SAD!)  I've never spent a night away from her, and in addition to being anxious about that part, I'm so worried that being apart that long will kill BF for us.  Anyone been through this and able to maintain a BF relationship?  I've considered not dropping bottles while I'm at work until after this trip; it seems like that might help?  I have tons of frozen milk, so that shouldn't really be a problem.  Any tips?  I don't want to force her to continue BF, but I really hate the idea that work will ruin it.  It's over 2 months away and already keeping me up at night!

[judyblume14]

agm04, I traveled out of town a couple times when DD was 6 and 7 months - it wasn't a big deal because we just replaced her morning and night time BF sessions with bottles of breast milk with dad.

It was a little bit trickier when I traveled when she was about 12.5 months. Because we were also transitioning off of bottles, and trying to replace her bottles at day care with WCM instead of BM. Oh- and at that time my freezer stash was running low, so I wan't in a position to hold off on the WCM transition.

Anyway, it sounds like you don't have any concerns about having enough BM to send to daycare, so here is my only tips:

1) If you will still be pumping during the day at that point, keep your normal pumping schedule, and also pump to mimic your nursing sessions at home.

I've been on 4 or 5 trips ranging from 4 to 5 days. None of the have had any effect on our nursing relationship. DD is 16 months old and we still nurse morning and night.

I'm going on a trip next week for 3 days,and I'm a little nervous about her wanting to wean. But this is the first trip in about 3 months, and she nurses a little less now than she did at the time of my last trip. but i think we'll be fine.

[agm04]

judyblume14 thank you! that's reassuring. i'll definitely pump on schedule. i hope everything goes ok with your trip, too!

[emmyg65]

I'd hold off on the WCM/cup transition till after your trip, so at least that's one less variable to worry about. Otherwise, I don't have any relevant experience.

[valie]

I had a similar length business trip when DS was the same age. I read and verified the policies at my work and decided to take him with me (and my Mom as a caretaker too.) Because he was breastfed (as verified by our family doctor.) his travel was covered and my Mom's expenses up to what the cost of childcare would have been had she not come.

Probably not helpful, but make sure you check out company policies!

[Sparkly]

I traveled away from my DD quite a few times for work last year. Trips were 4-8 days. She was 13.5-17.5 months. I continued pumping to maintain supply on all the trips and brought milk home (because I couldn't stand to toss it). She got bottles or cups with milk up until I totally stopped pumping when she was 19 months - honestly mostly bottles because she didn't like cups very much and I didn't want pumped milk to go to waste. We did use the last trip, when she was almost 18 months, as part of our effort to night wean and get her sleeping on her own in the crib full time, but otherwise she never missed a beat with nursing once I came home. She's still nursing at 2.

[casey]

My experience was very much like @allthingssparkley. I travelled a lot, and she always went right back to breast - even up to 8 days gone.

[agm04]

thank you all SO much. i feel so much better after reading your responses!

valie Thanks for your comment - it's a good idea. I've actually been down that road...I was supposed to take this trip in November, and got it moved to January because I asked about bringing my daughter and our au pair with me, and instead they opted to push it out. Then in January, I called and said we were still breastfeeding and again asked about bringing them. Punted it to March, but said I would absolutely have to go then, and that they wouldn't cover any expenses since my daughter would be over a year old. I know I could probably make a stink about it, but I actually don't have a problem covering the expenses myself if I take them. I just really think it would be a tough trip for my daughter. A long week in a hotel room in what will still be freezing cold NYC, germ season, etc. I know it'll be rough being apart, too, but I think it'll be easier on DD than dragging her along when I will barely have time to see her anyway. :/

[agm04]

Sparkly casey valie do you guys have any tips on helping her (ok, and me) through the week? Did you face time?

[Sparkly]

Jan 11, 2016 11:12:14 GMT -5 agm04 said:

Sparkly casey valie do you guys have any tips on helping her (ok, and me) through the week? Did you face time?

We didn't. I guess we just didn't think of it or thought it might be confusing for her. I got lots of updates and pics from my husband, nanny, and my mom whenever I was away.

[agm04]

Sparkly you're right, that might be confusing.

[valie]

Jan 11, 2016 11:12:14 GMT -5 agm04 said:

Sparkly casey valie do you guys have any tips on helping her (ok, and me) through the week? Did you face time?

I don't, I'm sorry. I've never been away long enough for it to be an issue.

I hope it goes well!

[catlady22]

I nursed DS for 13 months. I traveled 8 1 week trips during that time. It is definitely doable! Keep yourself on a schedule. I wasn't able to facetime at all for those weeks (too long of work hours) and got by with pictures on my phone. You can do it!

[agm04]

catlady22 thank you! there's hope, haha.

[casey]

Oops, so sorry I missed the tag. We tried FaceTime at first but discontinued. She would seem fine on the call, but she got very sad and forlorn after the calls, often for the rest of the day.

Just after 2 we tried again, and she did much better - enjoyed the call, had some verbal skills to participate, not sad after.

She always just jumped right back into nursing. We struggled more with how much to indulge (which I generally did) - she pretty much wanted to be on me all the time when I got home.

[jennlin]

the first time i left my littles, they were 16 months and 36 months.. it was for 4 nights, and i was nursing both of them, and they both picked it right back up. i pumped at regular intervals, and woke up in the middle of the night to pump as well. i've done several short trips since then, and they always pick it right back up. the longest i've gone was 5 nights, and even though they were much older and don't nurse nearly as much (26 and 46 months), they still didn't miss a beat when i got back.

we face timed every day as much as we could the first few times, but honestly, the freedom is nice. i would go maybe 36 hours between face timing on my last trip.

[agm04]

Jan 16, 2016 21:13:06 GMT -5 casey said:

We tried FaceTime at first but discontinued. She would seem fine on the call, but she got very sad and forlorn after the calls, often for the rest of the day.

oh my, this broke my heart!  i don't think i'll attempt FaceTime.  thank you for the reply!