Who have you told about your struggles and/or medications? Does your SO know? family members? friends? coworkers? boss?
Do you consider this something you share with your supervisor or is it a private matter not to be shared?
What were/are your reasons for sharing with those you have or not sharing?
I have one friend who knows absolutely everything. My SO knows 90% of the things I've done during manic episodes but there are some things that are best left alone. My family and close friends know the bulk too. My boss is aware there are issues but does not know any details. This is only because I was forced to get FMLA when she decided she didn't like how flexible my schedule was.
I tell people only when I feel it's necessary. MH has accidentally divulged info when he shouldn't have but we've chatted about that at length.
Post by runnergirl812 on Feb 2, 2015 14:28:35 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing.
I'm trying to figure out and define boundaries with people. I have a "crew" of friends that I'm not sure I'm ready to share with. There can be a lot of judging by a couple in the group... the others I would probably share if it came up. I know that they would hold it in confidence. I am sharing with my BF my struggles, but I don't really think he gets it. Because his ex wife has serious, chronic mental health issues, I don't want to scare him with my anxiety. However, I think I should continue to disclose when I have dr's appts,etc. Part of his past concerns with his ex wife were that she never kept up with treatment - doctor's visits or meds.
I don't think I can tell my mom. I've already told my dad. My mom can't hold anything... dad is as tight as a tomb.
My coworkers? No. My boss? Maybe. It depends on how much this continues to impact my work. I'm struggling, but managing. If she starts to pick up on it, I may tell her I'm having issues focusing and that I'm working on it with my doctor. It may not go farther than that.
I tell DH the most - not everything as don't want to scare him, but he does need to know what's happening, so he can try to understand why I'm the way I am. If he didn't know, I don't think our relationship would have survived. My closest friends know I'm on meds but not the full ins and outs of how I feel and why I need them. They just notice a big positive change in how I am now compared to the old me. My parents know I'm on meds but I don't talk to them about how I feel because it's really hard for them to understand and they like to sweep things under the carpet and pretend all is well!! My boss knows, mainly because of all the time off I've needed - it just seemed easier to tell the truth and in fairness, work has been great.
My DH knows basically everything. Anything he doesn't know is because I haven't thought of it. My parents know about depression and anxiety history, and that I was diagnosed with ADHD, but not the depth of what's happened.
I told a couple IRL friends about my ADHD diagnosis and didn't really get a positive reaction. More like skepticism. I have a group of girls from TB I've known 4 years that are super supportive and a group of the S13 girls as well.
My SO definitely knows. He has been with me through the worst and *best* times. He knows I struggle with binging and purging and now restricting my food, but he doesn't know the extent of my behaviors during the day while he is gone. I am currently a SAHM, since I resigned in December. I will tell him that I am struggling, and sometimes with what exactly, but I don't go into full details. I used to cover up a lot more, but I am learning to open up more and rely on him for support and encouragement more, instead of fearing how he will react. DH is very critical and has a "all or nothing" approach to everything. He thinks if I have a bad day, then all is lost and I obviously don't want to get better. That is often why I don't share as much with him as I do with my therapists and doctors.
My mom and sister, on the other hand, know absolutely everything. My boss knew, and actually encouraged me to get more specialized care. She was great at first, but then she showed me her true colors and is not to be trusted. It's a long story. My coworkers also knew, but not the extent of my issues. They were all relatively supportive. Actually, this is first time that I am being fully honest about the severity of my ED with even my treatment team. For a long time I would lie about how I was doing so I wouldn't have to go to treatment because I wasn't ready to get better. Now I am willing to share the details and listen to my team.
My main reason for sharing is because I want to be around for my child and future kids, and DH. I know this will kill me sooner or later if I don't. I know I can't fight it alone and I need A LOT of support and positive encouragement in order to make progress.
My husband knows pretty much everything, He's been very supportive and I honestly couldn't have made it this far without him. It helps that my new meds are working wonders so he sees I'm really trying and it's getting better.
I'm actually more open with friends now (last 2 months) and coworkers. Those that ask, I will tell. I guess I figure if they may be struggling too then I might be encouraging them to seek out help and they aren't alone. Also that it shouldn't be taboo to talk about. Most people have noticed a night and day change in me, so it's obvious I'm doing something different. I usually get the "you seem so much happier" speech. But I also had an anxiety attack last month at work and many saw that, so unfortunately I couldn't hide it if I tried.
I was open with my boss the last year or so. He confided that he too suffers from depression, so we talk weekly about our challenging days vs good days. It's awesome having an open relationship about it. He gave me advice about fmla incase I need it, and encourages me to take anxiety days if needed (days off), not all the time but occasionally. I've yet to use that flexibility. But nice that it's there.
I've found being open has benefited me more than I thought it would. I think the deaths of many famous people (like robin williams) has brought more attention to depression. I would say most people I tell believe in the illness and support me. Those that don't believe in depression usually just change the subject of our conversation. They haven't been rude or anything.
My H knows just about everything. I've just recently begun to open up to him more so I'm sure there's details or specific events he doesn't know about, but he knows my main issues, my medication, when I have appointments with my psych and therapist, etc. My sis knows a lot because she suffers from similar issues, so we've talked about it a bit. My parents don't know because my mom also suffers from similar issues, but seems to not want to talk about it. None of my friends or coworkers know. I keep a happy face on around others. I'm not really sure what good would come of telling anyone. If I think someone else might be suffering maybe I'd share to try to help them. And if it were affecting my work I might say something. But until then I'd rather keep it to myself.
DH and my family know. Panic and anxiety run in my family so we can talk openly about it. Dh's family knows but I know they don't understand like my family does.
Most of my close friends know. One friend is bipolar and also has anxiety so I know I can open up to her about things. In fact I helped her find her current psychiatrist who has really helped her get in a new meds routine and she feels so much better. A few other friends know but we don't talk about it much.
Work doesn't really know. If things interfered I know I could talk to my boss. She's really great and would be understanding.
Post by helloamanda on Feb 6, 2015 23:58:48 GMT -5
I'm not so secretive about having depression and anxiety, but I don't really give too much details. I always say stuff like "Ugh I need an Ativan!" which is usually true when I'm around my MIL!! And usually I can chalk my depression up to my IF treatments. Only DH, my mom and grandma know that I was in an outpatient hospital program.
Post by ladyannibal on Feb 8, 2015 22:44:28 GMT -5
My only friend knows and my DH knows. They pretty much help me get through all my anxiety attacks and depressive breakdowns. My family still thinks it's a phase, they don't know that I only stopped cutting the day before my bfp.
Sometimes my DH gets frustrated because he doesn't understand that my depression isn't something HE can physically fix.
I have been more open lately with people. Some members of my family really don't understand mental illness which can make things awkward. A few close relatives and my husband are the only ones who know most things. My parents know certain details. I grew up being told I was looking for attention and "crazy" due to symptoms of depression and anxiety.
I consider basic details something I can share with people I don't know as well but I keep most things private. I worked in a medical clinic and many very intelligent people working there still viewed mental illness in a negative way. My immediate supervisor was one of those people.
I share with people who I feel I can trust or people I think might benefit from it. I just had a long conversation with a relative who is married to someone going through something similar to things I have gone through. It helped to be able to give a bit of insight to what her partner might be going through but also to say there is nothing she can do to change things, her partner needs to seek help.
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