How would you ladies feel if your DH/SO told you they were going to lunch with people from work & you found out they place they were going to lunch was a Strip Club? (Also, you found out BEFORE they actually went & they would be going now, like, while you're pregnant)....
Post by billyhorrible on Feb 2, 2015 10:31:02 GMT -5
I don't think this is a hypothetical anyone but you can answer, since it depends on your husband and relationship with him.
For me, it'd be no big deal because I know my husband thinks strip clubs are sketchy, he's super cheap so I know he wouldn't be putting money down any g-strings, he's terrified of STDs, and I know the only reason he'd agree was because strip clubs often have free lunches (see above about being cheap).
Post by silv3rlining on Feb 2, 2015 10:46:59 GMT -5
My DH wouldn't go to a strip club. He has gone to some Hooter/Tilted Kilt type establishments for work luncheons in the past (military) but he tells me about it.
IMO strip clubs are not ok period. (But I feel like it's more of a respect/objectification thing, not a breech in relationship)
I wouldn't be okay with it. I'm okay with him attending a bachelor party at strip club(it doesn't make me want to jump for joy but I wouldn't stop him), but for a lunch with co-workers? No. Honestly though it would be realllly out of the blue for my H and his co-workers to go to lunch at strip club, especially because they'd have to drive an hour into the city to do so.
I'd be a little curious as to why someone in the work group thought a strip club would be an appropriate venue for a business meeting/business lunch, but otherwise it wouldn't bother me that much. I trust DH and know he wouldn't do anything unsavory (or stupid).
If he tried to hide it, I'd be a little more concerned.
Also, the whole objectification thing is major suckage...so again, I'd wonder who the hell thought a strip club would be a good place for a business lunch.
Well at least he was being honest with you? The thing about the business/work buddy side of it is, sometimes people act differently at work than what they would normally act around their usual friends. Like DH for example would be hesitant to say no to something his coworkers asked of him and might feel pressured in their presence to some degree, in a different way than he would with his normal friends. I don't think DH would ever cross the line at a strip club if he was there with coworkers, but you know what I mean? I on the other hand am going to speak my mind, regardless of the circumstances. Do you know if any of the people going to the strip clubs are superiors to your DH? I do find going to this type of venue with coworkers during the middle of the day extremely odd.
Post by mrskblack11 on Feb 2, 2015 11:40:57 GMT -5
I think it all depends on your relationship with your DH. If he is being honest about it, it should not be a problem. If this is something that is out of character for him, I can see why you would be concerned. You just need to have an open discussion on how it makes you feel and how he perceives the situation. Many guys don't see strip clubs as anything really exciting, the do just go for the cheap food (or even free food) and for the bonus of some naked ladies.
Personally, I would not be happy about it. It would be weird for my DH to go to a strip club with his co-workers for lunch. It is sleazy IMO and that is not a place that my DH would want to be associated with. My DH doesn't care for strip clubs in general, he would rather see me put on a show for him. He also rarely even goes out drinking. He has gone to strip clubs for bachelor parties and I am fine with that.
He does however go to places like Twin Peaks on occasion with his coworkers, maybe once or twice a year. I do not particularly care for those places, but I am fine with him going with his buds.
I wouldn't care about the strip club at all. I would care a lot about him not telling me upfront where they were going though.
How did you find out? Did he tell you or did you hear from someone? That matters a lot on how I would react.
IMO- ANYTHING that you feel the need to hide from your partner, is a red flag.I don't care if it's money related, video games, sexual habits, or cheating. If it has to be a secret-'it's not okay.
How would you ladies feel if your DH/SO told you they were going to lunch with people from work & you found out they place they were going to lunch was a Strip Club? (Also, you found out BEFORE they actually went & they would be going now, like, while you're pregnant)....
My DH and most his friends (most his friends are very religious) would not even consider going to a strip club so I'd never come across this issue, but I would so tell him that I do not approve at all if I were in your shoes.
Let me clarify.... This is not a "business lunch"...its just a lunch that happens to be with guys he works with & chances are it would be on a weekend...
I'm not okay with it, at all. Just wanted to see what you ladies would think of it was your DH/SO
My DH actually goes to the strip club on occasion with one of his good friends. This guy is a personal trainer and a lot of his clients just happen to be strippers, so he gets hooked up with drinks/bottle service when he goes there.
My DH has never lied to me about going and they've invited me to go with them on more than one occasion. If I wasn't pregnant, I would probably join them... So it doesn't really bother me at all.
However, if I found out my husband was spending money getting private lap dances in the Champagne room... THEN we would have a serious problem!!
My DH wouldn't go to a strip club. He has gone to some Hooter/Tilted Kilt type establishments for work luncheons in the past (military) but he tells me about it.
IMO strip clubs are not ok period. (But I feel like it's more of a respect/objectification thing, not a breech in relationship)
Same here. I'd be pretty pissed if my DH even suggested it but he wouldn't, since he thinks strip clubs are gross. He also thinks Hooters is hilarious...we've gone a couple times and he just laughs about how he can't take them seriously with the socks. He has always made sure he let his friend groups know up front that he respects me and is not into that kind of thing, though...it's really important to him to have friends with the same values, which I love.
For the record, though, DH has never been to a strip club, but I have been. (Hey, it was a friend's bachelor party!)
Edit: Quote fail! I was thirding/fourthing/whatever the "It wouldn't bother me if he was upfront and honest about it with me. If he tried to hide it then I would have an issue."
Okay, so as the one response says, this is a question you have to answer.
Personally I'm totally not okay with that. I won't go into the specifics but honestly, just, no. Totally unnecessary and gross (dudes all sitting around looking at vaginas together? weird...)
Let me clarify.... This is not a "business lunch"...its just a lunch that happens to be with guys he works with & chances are it would be on a weekend...
I'm not okay with it, at all. Just wanted to see what you ladies would think of it was your DH/SO
Didnt know it was on a weekend...Not okay with that...If it was during the week whatever, but on a weekend no. That's not okay, a Bachelor Party sure, a major birthday (25,30,40,50) okay (as long as the wives/GF's were invited if they wanted to come) but a group of guys getting together just for lunch on a Saturday or a Sunday...yeah that wouldn't fly with me.
Post by leenziepops on Feb 2, 2015 18:09:40 GMT -5
I don't understand lunch at the strippers. Must be an american thing? I'm totally fine for DH to go to buck's/bachelor nights where they end up at a strip club as long as he doesn't get involved and get lap dances. However, I did tell him that I am feeling insecure nowadays and would appreciate him not going when possible. So far it hasn't come up. In your position, I would've just said how I felt about it.
Hmm...to echo PPs, I think it's definitely personal and based on your relationship. I would be shocked if DH told me about wanting to go to a strip club because he has never been to one before and thinks they're gross. That's just not his scene (and it's not his friends' scene either). I also think the weekend vs. weekday/business lunch does make a difference. People tend to act differently on the weekend, especially if they don't have to go back into work within the hour.
It is definitely a personal thing, but I can tell you if he is hiding it, it is an issue. I actually was a bartender at a strip club in college. My friend convinced me to try it and the money was crazy good - it was an interesting time and I always said I was going to write a book about my time there.
Here's the deal - most group of guys hang eat and drink s the stage and toss some money around. Most strippers have regular customers that they make their money off of. They would do their stage set then go off with their regulars for private dances. If my husband was going for a party, I would be fine with it, but he would not be getting private dances.. A random lunch - eh if he really wanted to go, I would be surprised. I probably wouldn't be ecstatic about it, but if he was honest about it, I wouldn't make a big deal. If he hid it, then we would have a problem though.
Post by missjenniebean on Feb 2, 2015 19:43:57 GMT -5
That would be a huge no. But my man doesn't like strip clubs and think they are dirty, so I really wouldn't have to worry about. Though, I would definitely talk to him because I don't think those places are good for relationships unless the two are agreed on how they feel about it.
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