We aren't having any visitors this time. We did with DS, one of my SIL came out about 4 weeks after DS was born. She and I get along great and it happened to be perfect timing because H went out of town for work. Then after she left my MIL came and it was just more work for me. She's not the most helpful and she just drains me. And I'm still not super comfortable with her since we don't see each other super often. This time I asked H to make sure his mother wasn't under the impression that we wanted her to fly out. I think both his parents are going to come for a visit in the fall.
My gramma will be coming out a week or so before my due date, so she can watch the kids when I go in to labour, and stating a week or two probably after baby is born to help with the kids and cleaning
Post by bitsybelle84 on Feb 3, 2015 0:57:04 GMT -5
My MIL is coming to stay with us from a week before my due date through birth and at least a week after that. She is very helpful around the house and with my DS.
On the other side of the spectrum my dad and my step mom have told us they are coming to visit in April, when my H will be out of town for training. They mean well, but are horrible house guests and very draining. I have already told them if they insist on coming out then, they will need to stay in a hotel and will only be able to visit with us for a couple hours each day.
My mom is planning to drive out the weekend before our induction date, she will stay a week or 2. If baby comes early, she'll get on a plane since it's a 2 day drive.
My mom is coming 1 week before my EDD and staying a month (she lives in the US) FI's parents are coming around Easter, probably for two weeks. I don't mind any of them coming, especially my mom. I'm happy to have this time with my mom and my new baby. My ILs parents will be a great help. His mom cooks, cleans, does laundry, etc and his dad puts together things we need help with. I get annoyed with the language barrier, but they will be a big help.
My mom is flying out a couple days after my due date (since I'll probably deliver late) and staying for 2 weeks. MIL wants to come out too, but we haven't told her when and for how long yet. FIL is also coming out with his wife at the end of April, but they're staying at a hotel and will only be here a couple days.
My mom came out about two weeks before I'll be induced. She will leave when I come home from the hospital for a week (?) and then come back for another 2-3 weeks after my H goes back to work. She had planned to stay longer, but my father and her cat already miss her (after 2 days) and my dad has already said he is driving to pick her up a week or 2 earlier (she already has a flight). He won't stay because it's too cold for him where I live.
My parents are coming out probably about 1-2 weeks after my due date, and will stay for about a week and a half. They're helping cover a period of time when DH will be at a training. My MIL will come out in April sometime, and stay for the same amount of time. This is tenative though, her sister just got diagnosed with breast cancer so I'm not sure if that will change her plans. FIL will come out in June, and be here for DH's change of command. Everyone has to stay at a hotel though, since we don't have a guest bed. Thankfully the hotel is within walking distance of our apartment
My family lives 1.5hrs away but my parents work full time still. I'm hoping that my mom can come down once I am in labor to stay at our house with our dog until we come home from the hospital. Then she could come meet the baby at the hospital and once we get home she would leave and head back home herself. I don't plan on anyone staying with us for any extended period of time for at least a few weeks. My husband's family lives on the other side of the country but they won't be coming here because we will have our house on the market probably shortly after the baby is born and getting packed up and ready to move halfway across the country. We may try to fly to them in the summer after we get moved and settled so they won't meet this grandbaby for awhile. This is their 8th though so I don't have any hard feelings about their having to wait. Plus they annoy me (more so his stepdad than his mom) and the longer I can put off having them try to tell me everything they think about how to parent my child the better.
Married April 2010 :: TTC May 2012
Cycle #22: IUI#2 = BFP 3/15/14; mmc at 6w4d; D&C on 4/4/14
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We are having a BOY!
My mother is coming within a week of the baby being born, and my sister is coming a week after that. My mother has already stated that she's excited to "show me how to be a mom", so I had to gently insinuate that perhaps I needed more help with finding time to shower, clean, etc. We'll see how it goes. :/
My mother is coming within a week of the baby being born, and my sister is coming a week after that. My mother has already stated that she's excited to "show me how to be a mom", so I had to gently insinuate that perhaps I needed more help with finding time to shower, clean, etc. We'll see how it goes. :/
uh - that sounds a little rough. O.o
AFM, we're trying to get my parents out here to stay with DS when I head to the hospital (yes, we do have back up plans…), and then they'll be here for a few days after the baby is born. I've been pretty straightforward with DH about how miserable I was when his mom visited last time, and so he has pointedly said things to his dad about when they should come, that both of them should come, how long they can stay, etc. Yesterday, though, she felt the need to call me to see when *she* should come to help after I have the baby…. in addition to them coming 4-6 weeks after LO is born. Um…..
So, now we're starting all over with boundaries and shit. Thankfully they live across the country, so no random drop-ins...
Our immediate family lives an hour away. My mom will be coming up when I go I to labor since she will be in the room with me. When I come home she will stay a week with me. Hb will not have any time (hopefully he has a job by then) to take an extended amount of time off. He was always planning about 2 days while I am in the hospital. Since his old job he didn't have time.
My grandparents and great grandparents who live a few hours away will probably come on the weekend after baby is born, whenever that ends up being, but they'll just stay for an afternoon. My ILs from out of state are planning to come sometime in April or maybe May, not sure, and they'll stay for a weekend but at a hotel.
Post by chunkymonkeylvr on Feb 3, 2015 8:51:52 GMT -5
My step mom is here just incase my PTL decides to step up its game. If she goes back home before I go into labor, she and my dad will hit the road as soon as we tell them we are in labor. They live 8 hours away and we usually see the the day after birth.
My MIL will be staying with us for about a week but not until our lo is a month old. My mom will be staying with us the week she is born since she will be helping take care of my 19 month old. It shouldn't be too bad since I will need help mainly with my toddler more than anything. Last time around we had grandparents, parents, siblings, and nieces all in our household days before the birth and they stayed for weeks after and it was a little chaotic. Glad that everyone is much more calm with this second baby and don't have to fly out the second we have her.
My mom is coming on Feb 18th and is staying for a month. She'll stay longer if we need her, but for now that's the plan..DH works from home too, so it'll be all hands on deck for the twins.
My MIL is coming 2 weeks before my due date as that is when I went into labor with DD #1. She is staying in a hotel though as we don't have room and I cannot handle her in large doses. All of the rest of our family is local.
Post by winningcolors on Feb 3, 2015 10:49:36 GMT -5
My family lives in town and my mom already told me she would come over and cook, clean, do laundry, you name it for a week or two after baby is born. My ILs live about an hour and half away, which makes for an easy day trip. I don't anticipate them staying overnight which is fine by me. I get along with them but I really don't want houseguests right after baby is born. I need time to figure out this motherhood thing.
Post by snarkysparklefart on Feb 3, 2015 11:18:10 GMT -5
My dad, his GF, and possibly my grandmother will come after baby is born and we are home from the hospital. They live about 5 hours away, and they did that last time and stayed only 2 nights, so it was perfect. They're the best house guests every time, so I don't mind.
I hope H's mom (who lives maybe 3-4 hrs away) doesn't come soon but we haven't discusssd it with her. I have expressed to H that I really only want DD1- and by extension my mom & SD- to visit when we are in the hospital. MIL is overbearing and bad for my mental health, also manipulative and does whatever she wants regardless of the boundaries I try to set, so he essentially 'deals with her' and I deal with my mom when it comes to these boundaries.
Post by graciest719 on Feb 3, 2015 11:29:30 GMT -5
My parents are coming April 1; my EDD is March 15. They live in Florida in the winter, so they will do a drive by and stay with us for a week or so on their way home to Ohio (we live in VA). So we should have a little time as a new family before we have overnight guests.
Now I just have to strategize how to keep DH's family at bay for a few days.
Post by mittenmomma on Feb 3, 2015 12:50:00 GMT -5
Both of my IL's are coming up from Florida immediately after LO is born. They're going to be driving about 24 hours to get here and plan on leaving shortly after I go into labor and staying for about a week.
I'm kind of having mixed emotions about the whole thing. I really like both of them and will be happy to see them, but they're both kind of high maintenance and will be staying at our house with us. I have the worst feeling that their "help" will consist of wanting to hold the new baby all day while DH and I are expected to do pretty much everything else. I'm trying not to worry about it and hoping that I'm pleasantly surprised, but I don't think I will be... My stepson was born just over 6 months ago, and they arrived the day DH and I took full custody of him (he was 4 days old). And that was pretty much how it played out. And this time could potentially be worse, considering I have to actually give birth and try to recover from that on top of caring for DSS who will be just 7mo old and who is super clingy to me (I'm a SAHM to him since he was just a few weeks old, and he's still just a baby), and a newborn, and everything else...
Okay, now I've got myself even more worried than I was before. They're good people, but I wish they'd wait a few months before coming for a visit.
My mom arrived last week and stayed with us for the first time last night. She will be here for at least 6 weeks, maybe 2 months to help out before and after LO is born. My stepdad is going to do his best to come out once he gets "the call". As far as everyone else, most of them are local. My best friend is 18 hours away and said she would try to come out after he's born, but she has 2 kiddos too and is really busy, so it may not happen.
pele ugh. If my mom had said that to me, I don't know that I would have been so gentle.
My mom is only about 45 min away from my house and I have a feeling she'll be inviting herself over whenever she pleases. I know I'll like the help as long as she's not telling me how/what to do with baby every five minutes. She's already the worst at 'giving me advise.' Usually I sit and just nod my head but occasionally I ask her if she's ever had twins before whenever she informs me of the things I will and won't need. As for a plan for guests, I don't have much of a plan. I just am going to play it by ear. We live about an hour away from everyone so we should be able to tell the majority if we are in the mood for visits or not. Also MIL said she would like to come out for a week or two to help out. She just told us to let her know when we are ready for that. She's never stayed with us before so I'm crossing my fingers it'll go well.
Post by NatashaBromanoff on Feb 3, 2015 17:41:00 GMT -5
My mom is flying out 5 days before my EDD and staying for 2-3 weeks. I have a strong feeling I won't make it to my due date though...
My mom is very helpful and respectful of boundaries so my husband and I aren't worried. My MIL wanted to be there for the birth and both of us were like N O P E but thankfully she won't be able to make it out until summer. We have a couple of other people visiting in the months following, but my mom will be the only one here for delivery (and staying in our apartment.)
My MIL is about a 6 hour drive away, and will be staying with us for about a week pp. She messaged me privately to ask if I was really okay with that, which was sweet of her. I just said that I wanted a couple of days with just the 3 of us for family bonding. So that's the plan. D will be home during that time, as well, so I don't feel like I have to act as hostess.
My mom is local-ish (40 minute drive) and will probably stay for a few days after D goes back to work.
My sister and her fiance will come take care of our older kids the week of my scheduled RCS. That does make things easy to plan, but we'll have to have a plan B for childcare if I go into labor early. Fortunately a couple of my mom friends have offered to cover for us if necessary, and I think someone from DH's family could get here within a day or so if we needed them. After she leaves my MIL will probably come, so we'll have help for the first month or so. (Both of them are genuinely helpful.)
With DD, my sister bought her plane ticket to arrive two weeks after my EDD and ended up coming the same day I came home from the hospital because DD was late and I had a c/s so I was there for a few days. DH and I were both late babies, so I kind of anticipated going past my EDD and I'm glad she didn't buy her tickets for any earlier!
My parents live about 15 minutes away and I am going to rely on them to watch DS when I head to the hospital. Beyond that, my husband will be staying home for 10-14 days and I want NO house guests during that time. If me and H are desperate and overwhelmed, my folks are a short drive away and can be over here quickly. Short visits/guests staying at hotel is okay. Anyone coming to stay in my home with the intent of "helping me" is not okay. That was our rule for the birth of our son as well and several people were pretty butt hurt about it. I have the same expectation though, that the time will be spent for me to recover and my H to bond with his new child. I have a sneaking suspicion my in-laws think I have a different perspective this time with a toddler and my H is going to have to nip that in the bud. So far he has not yet though and it is giving me quite a bit of anxiety. I would be most happy if EVERYONE just waited 2 weeks and then decided to start planning visits but I am worried they may have different ideas.
Post by coozieinmypurse on Feb 3, 2015 20:32:54 GMT -5
My in laws are in town, so that one will be easier. My parents live four hours away and will come down when they get the "in labor" call. It's unclear how long they are staying. I think I will suggest a week. They will either stay in our guest room or in their RV in our driveway. DH plans to stay home from two weeks, so I'd like to reserve my parents (or at least my mom) to come down again for another few days to a week later on.
My parents live in town, and MIL is next door. So my post isn't really relevant to this thread, but I plan on letting people visit at the hospital where the nurses can help me control things. DH and I want that first week at home to be mostly just us, with very minimal visitation from people. I'm still sort of working out how to convey that to everybody. I can pretty much just tell my parents flat-out. Letting MIL know she can't just show up will be more challenging, because she will make a scene.
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