Poll: Do you keep secrets from your SO/DH

[lioness13]

I decided to add this poll after I posted about not telling my DH about my friend being pregnant with twins. She told me that I was her only friend that knew because she didn't want to tell her ILs yet and her DH needed backup in case anything happened. She also said her other close friend won't keep a secret from her husband so she wouldn't tell her until she was okay with the husband knowing.

If you keep secrets, what are they? Tell us! We won't tell anyone

If you don't keep secrets share why.

[cl8badb]

I consider myself to be an amazing secret keeper. If someone asks me not to tell anyone, i dont tell anyone.
My husband gets mad sometimes but its not my secret to tell. Weve never had a big fight over it or anything he just says something like "wow i cant believe you didnt tell me". Haha

[peachey]

My MIL asked me not to tell him something just this weekend. I told him anyway, because he basically knew it because his Dad had been talking to him about it, and also because it is sort of silly. (It was about whether or not they were going to buy a new car).
I tell him almost everything. He is my partner plus I know he won't tell anyone.

[musicalsilver]

Feb 3, 2015 8:46:39 GMT -5 @winesconstantly said:

Nothing especially juicy, but I've had a few things told to me in confidence by friends that I will never repeat.

Nothing that my H would even care about so no point telling just to tell.

+1

[michelin82]

The only things I keep from him are secrets that someone else has told me and asked me not to share with anyone. Usually that's only my sister's secrets I can't keep anything else from him, though.

[phishgirl]

We share almost everything, but there are certain things that I know he wouldn't care to know (and vice versa) so I don't tell him those things. He keeps things like pregnancy announcements and annoying facts about the band that he manages from me, and I tend to leave out details when sharing stories with him. Less is more.

[ordinaryme]

Feb 3, 2015 8:46:39 GMT -5 @winesconstantly said:

Nothing especially juicy, but I've had a few things told to me in confidence by friends that I will never repeat.

Nothing that my H would even care about so no point telling just to tell.

Yes, exactly this.

[kh59]

I tell him most things. I volunteer as a crisis counselor, so anything I hear on the hotline or from a client is obviously off limits. If a friend specifically asks me to keep a secret, I will. Otherwise, I'll usually tell my husband. We recently had a pretty funny but perhaps ethically shady scenario going where one of his close guy friends was planning to propose to one of my close girlfriends. She talked to me about how she was wondering if he would ever want to get married, and he talked to my husband about his whole plan to have a special ring made and surprise her on vacation. H and I gossiped shamelessly with each other about everything we knew from both sides and then played dumb with our friends. I think I made a pretty good fake surprise face when my friend reported finding a jewelry store pamphlet. I then immediately told my husband so that we could rant to each other about how we were better at keeping this proposal a secret than the proposer himself.

[kames12]

We tell each other most things. I haven't kept things that my MIL has asked me to keep (like when she had a cancer scare). She kept it from him when she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and had gone through all, if not most, of the treatments. I told her that she needed to tell DH and she did.

[daffy2k]

Mostly things that friends have told me in confidence, especially if they involve their husbands (who are also DH's friends). 

*poof* that secret shouldn't be out anywhere

[graceinca]

Feb 3, 2015 8:46:39 GMT -5 @winesconstantly said:

Nothing especially juicy, but I've had a few things told to me in confidence by friends that I will never repeat.

Nothing that my H would even care about so no point telling just to tell.

Same.  I am good at keeping secrets but I don't keep secrets from DH.  However, if a friend tells me something in secret that my husband wouldn't give one crap about, I don't bother to tell him. But anything else? Yeah, he knows. I think a healthy relationship makes that a requirement.

[daffy2k]

Feb 3, 2015 13:24:12 GMT -5 mcbush said:

Feb 3, 2015 11:15:20 GMT -5 daffy2k said:

Mostly things that friends have told me in confidence, especially if they involve their husbands (who are also DH's friends). 

*poof* that secret shouldn't be out anywhere

Until someone gets an illness and needs a donor and someone should be a perfect match and isn't... so soap opera!

I've aired my dirty "laundry" about believing my aunt is my mom's half sister not her whole sister. I think it's not uncommon, TBH. 

There's more to the story now, actually.  SIL has been diagnosed with Crohn's.  While she hasn't done the DNA testing, the family history on the paternal side make it pretty obvious.  The whole secret thing is now moot, since all of this history is on DH's real dad's side.  FIL remains stepdad to both, when we are talking blood relations.  He is dad to both in every other way.  

[daffy2k]

mcbush I should add, I also think it isn't that uncommon. It's just information I wish I could unhear. I've had conversations with DH about his parents divorce and even though it's glaringly obvious that a lot of the blame would fall on his dad (I won't place it all there, everyone plays their part), his 5yo self just remembers his mom keeping him from his dad (who was a drunk and drug addict). While I think he understands now why his mom handled things the way she did, he's always harboured a bit of that resentment and I wouldn't ever want to be the one responsible for causing any more of it. Especially by telling him something I should have never known and that really wasn't my place to tell.

[heelibrarian]

Honestly, wracking my brain, I don't think anyone tells me any secrets? Not that I can't keep them, but I really can't remember if there has been anything TO keep from DH like ever. I doubt it.

[vasc]

I'm honest to a fault. Sometimes I think I need to keep more secrets from DH.

[melohdy]

I tell him most everything. If I neglect to tell him something, it is probably because I forgot. Within our circle of trust, we are both great at keeping secrets. Sometimes I feel like I tell him things so I don't accidentally give it away to other people.

[bcandlm]

Hmm, nothing too big, small stuff like if I picked up something sweet for myself while I was out and didn't get him anything. And obviously about Christmas/birthday gifts.

[ciahanna]

Feb 3, 2015 13:25:16 GMT -5 mcbush said:

I don't keep secrets at all. I forget half the stuff I'm told. My memory is complete crap lately. Some tells me 'oh don't tell so and so' I'm like.. I've already forgotten what you just said.

Yep,pretty much this! I don't keep secrets on major stuff anyway. I mean right now I'm not telling him that his SIL and brother want to throw him a birthday party for his 40th but thats not something that can hurt him. It's stupid and he'll hate it but I'm not arguing with them.

DH is horrible about telling me stuff because he doesn't want me to get pissed,but duh,I'm going to be more pissed when I find out or figure it out!

[skk]

Feb 3, 2015 13:03:04 GMT -5 limabeanmom said:

I can't keep any secrets from Dh. We tell each other mostly everything-I am sure we forget some details along the way. It always amazes me how some people are able to keep the sex of their unborn child a secret for months from their so. That would def not be the case with us because i wouldn't be able to keep it a secret and if he knew I would bug him until he told me. I am pretty good at keeping some things a secret but mostly not.

+1. I can't really keep my big secrets from him, but I do keep my mouth shut if it's not my secret.

[lioness13]

Feb 3, 2015 9:39:03 GMT -5 kh59 said:

I tell him most things. I volunteer as a crisis counselor, so anything I hear on the hotline or from a client is obviously off limits. If a friend specifically asks me to keep a secret, I will. Otherwise, I'll usually tell my husband. We recently had a pretty funny but perhaps ethically shady scenario going where one of his close guy friends was planning to propose to one of my close girlfriends. She talked to me about how she was wondering if he would ever want to get married, and he talked to my husband about his whole plan to have a special ring made and surprise her on vacation. H and I gossiped shamelessly with each other about everything we knew from both sides and then played dumb with our friends. I think I made a pretty good fake surprise face when my friend reported finding a jewelry store pamphlet. I then immediately told my husband so that we could rant to each other about how we were better at keeping this proposal a secret than the proposer himself.

Cute story! DH and I love to gossip with each other too!

[megaroo64]

I am not a very good secret keeper in general. But I voted yes - because there is a lot of information that I have that I know H wouldn't care about - so I don;t tell him. So I am keeping information from him, but not really secrets.