Miscarriage and what it means to me.
Feb 3, 2015 19:00:27 GMT -5
Post by sonofkrypton on Feb 3, 2015 19:00:27 GMT -5
What misscarriage means to me. Well a couple years ago I wouldn't have even crossed my mind for a second. But within the last year my wife and I have lost 3. I thought our last one was going to hold strong, but it didn't . However it did get far enough along that tiny pieces of a sack had come out which I can only imagine was the start of the baby. I watch my wife get ill and in pain with the start of a pregnancy only to watch her suffer again through the pain of a loss. This last one hit me harder than the others because I saw more of the "loss" in her hands. I braved it out and stayed her rock while she washed it away and then held her. But if any man is like me that is just not enough to us. Yes, it is great that I am there, but to be powerless to help any further it pains me so and I try to help her in anyway possible. Fluff pillows throw more blankets on the bed, throw chocolate at her and then the cat. Again, just doesn't feel like enough.
I am a creative mind I create things for a living. I write I draw I paint. I create worlds that you could get lost in for years, but for some reason I cannot seem to make and create a living breathing beautiful baby. I don't even care if the first baby we get is a girl or boy. I just want a healthy child. You could see why it aches me so that I can't produce such a masterpiece, when I could easily write a story about a family who had a child and that child grew up to be a healthy and caring and courageous human being.
Another stress on all this is I am the last male in my family's bloodline. So there goes my family tree having a short branch.
Some people would just tell us that "it's not your time to have a kid" or "you are not finacially stable". I don't care if I have to work a shitty day job as long as it means I have a happy family to go home to. Lately the family I have is falling apart because of these losses. The biggest kicker to all this is I see people younger and just plain stupid (having parties drugging it up and having sex everywhere) but still having offspring. When my wife and I have degrees and have common sense and dignity about us.
I am a GOD fearing man, but even so right now I am not happy with him. I prayed to him to let her have a healthy baby for almost a year I have asked this of him in church during prayer, but I have yet to hold one of my three angels in my arms.
As I said I really thought this last one would stick, I thought it was a sign when things started going right and things were falling into place.
My wife uses this place, but I hope she doesn't find her "Rock" being a "Pebble" we both can't lose hope.
I came here hoping that other fathers shared similar misfortunes and maybe share with me and future dads how to cope and handle these loses as the man in the relationship.
God Bless.
I am a creative mind I create things for a living. I write I draw I paint. I create worlds that you could get lost in for years, but for some reason I cannot seem to make and create a living breathing beautiful baby. I don't even care if the first baby we get is a girl or boy. I just want a healthy child. You could see why it aches me so that I can't produce such a masterpiece, when I could easily write a story about a family who had a child and that child grew up to be a healthy and caring and courageous human being.
Another stress on all this is I am the last male in my family's bloodline. So there goes my family tree having a short branch.
Some people would just tell us that "it's not your time to have a kid" or "you are not finacially stable". I don't care if I have to work a shitty day job as long as it means I have a happy family to go home to. Lately the family I have is falling apart because of these losses. The biggest kicker to all this is I see people younger and just plain stupid (having parties drugging it up and having sex everywhere) but still having offspring. When my wife and I have degrees and have common sense and dignity about us.
I am a GOD fearing man, but even so right now I am not happy with him. I prayed to him to let her have a healthy baby for almost a year I have asked this of him in church during prayer, but I have yet to hold one of my three angels in my arms.
As I said I really thought this last one would stick, I thought it was a sign when things started going right and things were falling into place.
My wife uses this place, but I hope she doesn't find her "Rock" being a "Pebble" we both can't lose hope.
I came here hoping that other fathers shared similar misfortunes and maybe share with me and future dads how to cope and handle these loses as the man in the relationship.
God Bless.
but i've been positive myself telling her that there is nothing wrong with her test results and its not a race that her HCG isnt climbin astronomically like everyone else. Her thyroid has been off for god knows how long and the stress from work and previous losses keeps weighing her down. I really wish she would just toss all of it aside. I do for the most part. yes it hurts to know we've lost but I can't control it after the release so I don't worry about it. It wouldn't make much sense for me to go and say "oh I should have held her legs higher or I should've pumped harder." I firmly believe things happen when they need to happen. I hope and pray I won't be back to talk about more lose, but the gain and formation of a new life I get to help build and nuture.