Are they twins? - No, they're triplets. We just leave the ugly one at home. - No, we found this one in the parking lot.
Two for one sale at the hospital, huh? - Aside from my uterus and their birthday, they haven't shared a thing yet. More like two for the price of two.
Must be nice, being done with your family in one shot. - Who told you my family is complete? (I actually HAVE used this one and love the foot-wedged-in-mouth expression that results.)
Are they natural? - ALL babies are natural. - Are you asking about my fertility status? - No, dickhead, they're aliens. (Saw this one on a someecard.) - Well, they ARE carbon based life-forms.
Do twins run in your family? - No, but they run in my clinic!
Better you than me. - With that attitude, you're right. MUCH better for it to be me.
Double trouble! - Who said anything about them being trouble?
Oh, you have your hands full. - Not as full as my heart. (I've used this.) - And I wouldn't have it any other way. (I've used this too and got a dirty look in response, because how dare I love being a mother of twins, apparently.)
How do you do it with two? - I don't know. How do YOU do it with only one? - It's all I know. (I've used this one. My twins are my first and only so far. I have no idea what it's like to parent a singleton.)
Did you plan to have twins? - How does one plan for twins, exactly? (I have used this one too. Even with IVF, there's no guarantee of even one baby, let alone two!)
I occasionally wish that my boys were identical so I could have answers like, "No - that one is a clone". Or "What are you talking about? I only have one baby!" and freak people out.
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