I just want to say that I ain't no hypocrite!

[nikolie93]

Hey ladies. First, I am so very glad there is a place for everyone to go that felt the need to leave the evil place. 

I just wanted everyone to know that I am still posting over there and I feel as if I may be a hypocrite. I don't agree with how shit went down and I am so very angry about it. But I am pretty much a newbie over there, considering I have only been active since October and you ladies were my rock. I don't know what I would have done without you welcoming me and supporting me through some of the hardest times in my life. 

With that said,I still feel the need to be there, at least for now, for any new people that go there looking for support. I feel sad thinking that ladies that need help won't have a large group there to help them through their shitty time like you did for me. It's not easy going there knowing I am helping support a company that shit on so many wonderful people  

Anyway, I just didn't want you to think I was a hypocrite and all. 

Edit- damn gifs!

[rslh10]

No way. I personally feel the same way as you. I HATEEEEEE what went down, but ultimately I don't know where I would have been without the ladies when I joined. I mean I was in a dark dark place. And I feel like there needs to be a welcoming commitee for those new (inevitable) members.

That being said, I may post the newb check in this week on both boards. OR I may go back into the newb check in and PM them this link. I don't know yet. I know there are a lot of regs over here and i don't know what to do about those dang newbs. I feel they need us, but I'm torn.

When I'm able to offer support to them, and they tell me I've helped them, my heart does the grinch thing...you know...where it grows like 10x it's normal size lol. UGH. Damn you. XO and bumpmay!! #torn (sorry for the hashtag....I had to LOL)

[lizblue]

Hey nikolie, I personally do not think it's hypocritical to post in both places. I think it remains to be seen what the critical mass of people do on our board. Like I keep saying, this is about the people who participate in creating a community. I don't know if I'm going to be able to personally go back over, but I don't fault anyone who does. Especially on a loss board like ours, where women are reaching out for support.

I'm not deleting my account (as of now) because I think there may be value in trying to reach out to folks there, especially if there comes a time when they need to know where "here" is after this all dies down. I also would like to remain a voice over there for now, speaking up for how fucked up I think this all is.

Anyway - I don't think it's hypocritical to post there. My .02.

[agpjt413]

Ditto, ladies!! Nikki - don't feel that way!!

[rmpar29]

I feel the exact same way. I've just decided to post over there when I can help, but the majority of my activity will be over here. I just can't imagine someone going to that board right now, needing help, and having no one there to support her. I guess we will see what happens once the shitstorm dies down.

[agpjt413]

Jan 16, 2015 9:07:19 GMT -5 rmpar29 said:

I feel the exact same way. I've just decided to post over there when I can help, but the majority of my activity will be over here. I just can't imagine someone going to that board right now, needing help, and having no one there to support her. I guess we will see what happens once the shitstorm dies down.

Hey lady! So have we decided whether we're doing the check in here or there? Or both? LOL!!

[o2girl]

Although I don't consider myself a newbie on TTCAL (not a vet either) I feel similar to your feelings. I will be posting both places.

[rmpar29]

Jan 16, 2015 9:13:02 GMT -5 agpjt413 said:

Jan 16, 2015 9:07:19 GMT -5 rmpar29 said:

I feel the exact same way. I've just decided to post over there when I can help, but the majority of my activity will be over here. I just can't imagine someone going to that board right now, needing help, and having no one there to support her. I guess we will see what happens once the shitstorm dies down.

Hey lady! So have we decided whether we're doing the check in here or there? Or both? LOL!!

I think I'm going to do it on both.  I just don't want to leave anyone out and I'm hopping between both boards anyway. 

[readinglove]

Please don't feel hypocritical or bad for being in both places! It's such a shitty situation all around - being there to support ladies who would be joining us is super important and I'm glad there are some of us that are still over there for that reason.

[nikolie93]

Thank you ladies. I feel a little better now I didn't want you to think I was at all for supporting the company, when I am over there I am supporting the ladies that go there looking for support.

This whole thing just sucks donkey balls!

[sarcaztic10]

I don't think it is hypocritical at all. I have no idea how this will all end up. I will be at least checking TTCAL and supporting the ladies that remain when I can but I think I am going to be doing most of my posting over here because this is where the majority of the ladies I care about are settling.

[kateisoptimistic]

I don't think there is anything wrong with posting in both places if you want to. You are clearly coming from a place of love and wanting to help other people and I love you for that. I'm still checking over there periodically too and may post if someone needs support, but I'm still not sure of what will happen in the coming days or weeks. Just do whatever you are comfortable with sweetie.

[yummybunny]

I agree with the others as well. Ttcal is a unique place - and without it, I would have been lost in June. I don't want anyone to not find a place they can find safety and support in that time of intense need. There is nothing hypocritical about that.

[grneyes]

I don't think there is anything wrong with staying over there, or being on both. I do feel bad for the women with a fresh loss, maybe I'm just in a weird place, but I don't really open intros anymore. It's too much sometimes and many seem to leave within a couple months. It's hard to explain.

Personally, I'm not comfortable over there anymore, but that may have a lot to do with being on TTGP in the past.

[elsiemae]

I don't think it's hypocritical at all. I plan on posting in both places also. I think I will mainly post over here, and occasionally post over there.

[chimomma19]

I agree w/ PP - you shouldn't feel like a hypocrite. Until last night I didn't have the time to really get around TB and see wtf happened. I'm kinda in a place of shock about the whole thing. I also agree that TTCAL is unique, so I am in favor of check-ins here and noobs on TB, and maybe they transition over? Don't know how that'd happen.

All I know is that 2014 was the worst year of my life and if it weren't for the people here...ugh...I don't even want to think about where I'd be. Even this morning as I rode the train into work, I was weeping over a song that had some lyrics about "keeping you locked in my heart" and I broke down weeping. Fun times. The first thing I thought of was the ladies here. I really don't think the fucking bump really thought about the ladies of loss. Their HQ post about the community being meant for conversations around babies and pregnancy and "everything in between" well fuck, I barely got to in between.

Sorry for the rant......but the more I read the more pissed I get.

HOWEVER.....I don't want to leave noobs feeling the way I did without some folks with a bit of knowledge.

xo

[ldubhawksfan]

Please don't feel hypocritical. I don't know what I would have done without TTCAL and you ladies since this summer. But I do realize that many if the women have moved over here, and the community can continue here. I do worry about new, lost women in the same duress finding TTCAL but not having this community. I haven't decided if I'm going to split my time at all. I feel somewhat violated by XO, and I don't know if I should continue there though. I think we are allowed to be in limbo, especially while the dust settles.

[dandb925]

Me too! Even though I'm still a newbie, I want to post in both places if support is needed. I think that having access to a community like this is essential to get through those dark, shitty times.

[medic7979]

I was thinking the SAME thing! UGH. What to do, what to do??

[nikiswimr]

I'm very much with you on this nikolie93 I honestly don't know what I would've done without TTCAL back in October and am so grateful for all the support I received. While I think I will mainly be here now, I still feel like I can't abandon there, particularly if there is someone feeling like I did back then who needs the support. I don't know yet what I'm going to do.

[nikolie93]

I feel pretty comfortable now with staying over there and still providing support for those that need it.

Sucks what they did but the new ladies coming there don't deserve to be left with nothing.

I'm sure I will be here now and then as well.

[rubysi]

I will most likely be on both boards to help the new and the left behind. The fun looks like it is here for now.

[lizblue]

Hey nikolie93 - another thought that came to me (while responding to your post on TTCAL actually) is that I plan to straddle TB and here for awhile. I will continue to lurk there because I still consider those people part of my community. If there is something there that is important enough for me to respond to, I will (like your post - hugs babe). I also changed my signature to state the following: (I'm not advocating this for anyone - I don't think there's any one right way to do this - this is just what works for me.)

I am no longer regularly posting on TB because of the fucked up debacle of Jan 2015 when administrators banned long-term members and mods with no notice and completely dismantled a community full of women who cared about each other. If you see me posting it's only to give support to a poster who needs it or to post something important enough that I need to say. I am no longer responding to anything other than issues that affect people who I care about.

[nikolie93]

Thank you again for chiming in on my thread over there. I truly do appreciate it.

And I think what you are putting in your sig over there speaks volumes regarding what happened.

[rae80407]

Jan 16, 2015 12:20:41 GMT -5 dandb925 said:

Me too! Even though I'm still a newbie, I want to post in both places if support is needed. I think that having access to a community like this is essential to get through those dark, shitty times.

Ditto. Don't feel hypocriticle doll! I'm thankful for the ladies that welcomed me there and now here. We should recruit for over here eventually though to save confusion from the double boarding
Who knows if I can even sort it out for newbie checks. I'll be on one of em I guess lol

[mrsmccoy612]

No judgement here. I'm posting both places too...

[elliecat17]

I'm still on both for much the same reason lizblue is. There are people who will need something and I can offer that, but a lot of my traffic and small talk, that will be here for now. Perhaps someday the XO group will rework their management of the boards, and it can once again be a safe community, but I think there are people who will never feel safe going back.

[yorkielove83]

Like the PP's I'm torn between here and there. TTCAL has given me so much knowledge and support I can't imagine not giving back. Then, I realize the majority of the women who helped me are here now - that place won't ever be the same.

[nikolie93]

Regardless of what happens and how things play out I'm so very glad this place existed and everyone that wanted to was able to come here. It would have been a really sad time if there wasn't anywhere for everyone to go. I can't imagine just one day everyone disappearing.

So TOTH to whomever had this place ready!