*PgAL/PAIF check in 4/12*

[sophiegrace]

Good morning,
Sorry for my absence! Back to back 60 hour work weeks coupled with my MS meds no longer working is throwing me for a loop. I hope all is well! Please let me know if I still don't have your stats correct, it takes just a second for me to fix it.


Although we are a smaller group it seems as though we have an unfair amount of us who have not has an easy journey. This weekly thread is to get out your thoughts and release your fears in a safe area. Trigger warnings are not necessary.

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If you are new to this thread and feel comfortable sharing, please include a brief history that the group can reference as we get to know each other.



Please tag me if you want to be added to the check in.



How far along are you?



How are you doing physically?

Mentally?



Any appointments this week?



Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week?



QOTW: Bump or blump? Anyone have any noticeable changes in the midsection?



tgrimes1980 - PgAl, MMC 10 wks

peanutmuse – PgAL/PAIF, m/c 1/13, 6/13, 9/15, IUI for DS1, TTC 23 cycles for this pg

sophiegrace - PgAl, loss at 25 wks

legitlizard - PgAL, early loss, Crohn's

robinbird - PgAl, MMC 13 wks

danib - PgAL/PAIF, loss at 5.5 wks

shedreamsincolor – PgAL, loss at 16 wks

kleigh – PgAl/PAIF, CP

goldenlove3 – PgAL/PAIF, TTC 31 cycles, one ectopic, Pg after IVF FET #1

calindi – PAIF, 22 cycles + Follistim IUI #3 for TTC #1, 11 cycles + Follistim TI for TTC #2

hangry – PgAL, loss at 8 wks

artmusiclife – PgAL/PAIF – TTC since S12, early loss N12, 5 IUIs, IFV w/ICSI &PGS, F16 FET resulting in this BFP

@sarahwithanh – PgAL/PAIF - TTC Aug14, MMC 12

opheliainwaders – PgAL – 2 losses both around 12 weeks

vinolove - PgAL, loss at 6 weeks

mommytoava - PgAL, Ava born 12/2010 gained her wings 2014

[ClassyMrsA]

Jumping in this week. My history: mmc @8 weeks in Nov 2013, DD born 10/2014

How far along are you? 10w 5d

How are you doing physically? Eh. Still having a lot of nausea and very very tired.

Mentally? So so. Ms is about the same as ever, but it's been 3 weeks since my last scan and my brain is starting to doubt and worry that things are still ok. Nervous about nt scan next Friday already.

Any appointments this week? No.

Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? Not that I can think of right now.

QOTW: Bump or blump? Anyone have any noticeable changes in the midsection? My tummy never flattened back out after DD. I can tell my lower abdomen seems to feel more full, though.

[ClassyMrsA]

danib I'd stick with the O date. Ultrasounds are pretty accurate, but can be off by several days in either direction. 3 days different isn't very much. DD measured 3 days ahead at 5 weeks then 1 day behind at 8 weeks and finally 1 day ahead at 19 weeks. In the end she was born 10 days late. When discussing induction with her and looking at my ultrasounds, my Dr stuck with O date to decide how long we could wait.

[kleigh]

How far along are you? 9w1d

How are you doing physically? A little tired because I keep waking in MOTN to go to the bathroom. Also end of day bloat which is better than the bloat from a couple weeks ago that was around all day (prob related to fertility meds). I am also an emotional wreck, everything is just so beautiful and sweet and tear jerking. I saw a fox walking in this wooded/grassy area yesterday and cried, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Mentally? Mostly good except when I think about the hellish nightmare of IF that was my life for 4+ years. My RE practice is having a get together later this month during infertility awareness week, the public is invited (inc patients, friends, family). They'll provide dinner, give a talk, and we'll write letters to congress advocating for infertility health coverage and rights. The patient advocate will be marching in Washington next month for IF rights. I keep going to invite my sisters, mom, and friend going through IF but I start to cry really bad thinking about all the other women still fighting and how lucky I am to be here.

Any appts this week? Nope

QOTW: Bump or blump? Any noticeable changes in the midsection? Yes I've def been bloated since day 1 but now it mostly appears after my first meal and gets worse with each meal. MH started taking weekly "blump/bump" photos for our journal and you can def see a difference between last week and this week. Could just be a little fat though lol

[shedreamsincolor]

How far along are you? 8w5d

How are you doing physically? Meh. Typical symptoms- nausea, bloating. Have a lovely headache today that I remember having near daily in my first pregnancy

Mentally? Briefly better after my ultrasound, anxiety starting to ramp again now .

Any appointments this week? Nothing until next week.

Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? Anyone own a fetal Doppler? Brand? How much did you pay? I am seriously considering getting one to start using around 10 weeks for some peace of mind between appointments

QOTW: Bump or blump? Definite blump over here. Third pregnancy in 3 years, my body knows WTF is up!

[shedreamsincolor]

tgrimes1980 - That's why I am so back and forth on this. I am a medical provider so I'm trained in how to use the Doppler, but I do worry that it may be more anxiety provoking than helpful. I might talk to my midwife at my next appointment.

[ClassyMrsA]

@sarahwithanh I honestly am not overly concerned with weight gain. I ate a relatively healthy diet, exercised moderately and still gained 50 lbs with L. I was concerned about how much I was gaining and my Dr said as long as it wasn't super fast, she wasn't concerned. She gained 50 lbs with all 3 of her kids despite doing triathlons. So...I think don't just do whatever, but if you're being healthy and exercising don't worry too much. And I think for 1st tri you do what you gotta do to survive ms. Eat better when you're not sick.

[peanutmuse]

How far along are you? 8w5d


How are you doing physically? Pain all day, every day from the ectopic. Struggling. It grew a lot this past week. It looks like surgery is inevitable.


Mentally? The perinatologist tossed the cancer word to me. Apparently, the way that the ectopic is behaving could be indicative of a cancerous process. I am so not wanting to do surgery because of the risks, but I am so nervous about NOT doing surgery because of the risks. I am a mess.




Any appointments this week? Yesterday, u/s and perinatologist.



Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? I still feel very isolated. There is no support group for this.



QOTW: Bump or blump? Anyone have any noticeable changes in the midsection? Blump and swelling.

[kleigh]

peanutmuse I am so sorry you're struggling and for the c-word they used. When would you have to do the surgery?

[kleigh]

@sarahwithanh I'm not concerned per se but I am watching mine. Since I have twins I am conscientious of trying to gain some weight a little earlier on, even though it makes me uncomfortable I know it's healthy for them. I have read what DaniB says, do whatever you need to in first tri to get by and adjust in 2T.

[goldenlove3]

shedreamsincolor I just bought a doppler last week but I haven't actually tried it yet. I know that 10 weeks is still on the early side. I'll probably give it a try soon knowing that I might not hear anything yet. I bought the Sonoline B Fetal Doppler since it seemed like the popular choice on PAIF. It was $37 and shipped quick.

[shedreamsincolor]

Apr 13, 2016 11:37:31 GMT -5 goldenlove3 said:

shedreamsincolor I just bought a doppler last week but I haven't actually tried it yet. I know that 10 weeks is still on the early side. I'll probably give it a try soon knowing that I might not hear anything yet. I bought the Sonoline B Fetal Doppler since it seemed like the popular choice on PAIF. It was $37 and shipped quick.

goldenlove3- I caved and bought one last night. I still haven't decided 100% that I want to use it, but I feel like if there's any chance it might help lessen my anxiety it's probably worth it. Definitely not trying before 10 weeks as I know I'll just freak myself out when I can't find it yet. I remembered last night with my first the midwife didn't even try until 12+ weeks so maybe I'll wait till closer to the end of first tri. My loss was at 16 weeks last time and I know that stretch from 12-16 weeks is going to be endless. No movement and no appointments = big time anxiety for me

[shedreamsincolor]

peanutmuse - I truly can't imagine what you must be feeling. None of this is fair. Hoping you have good doctors that will help you make the best decision for your health and baby's.

[peanutmuse]

Thanks, ladies. I am struggling lately, and I tend to disappear when I struggle. Surgery will be discussed next week.

[mommytoava]

sophiegrace can you add me to the check-in?

How far along are you? 7w5d



How are you doing physically? Doing okay just a little more tired than usual and my breasts are really sore.

Mentally? I'm sad that my daughter isn't here to experience this with us. She asked about a little sister and I know she would be a good big sister.



Any appointments this week? I have my dating ultrasound on Friday. I'm anxious for it.



Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week?



QOTW: Bump or blump? Anyone have any noticeable changes in the midsection? Just blump right now.

[artmusiclife]

mommytoava, your post made me teary. big hugs to you. i'd like to believe your DD is already sending her love and energy to her little sibling and to mom. welcome to the check in.

peanutmuse, so sorry you feel so alone. i'm sorry you're in pain as well. if you feel like explaining any more about what's going on, we are all here to listen. I'm sending positive energy your way and hopes that things go as smoothly as possible.

Far Along: 9w6d
Physically: Nauseous. I don't like much about eating. A nomonausea bracelet REALLY helped for a few days, but I think it helped the most the first couple days I wore it. The effects may be wearing off today.
Mentally: Little bit of negativity crept in today, but I'm mostly doing okay.
Appointments: Friday = last blood draw from RE (then I will be released into the "normal" pregnant world), April 25th = first OB visit

Glad you asked about the Blump/Bump cause I've been analyzing my belly all week and wondering when I will show. It's definitely bigger than it was a couple weeks ago. Not a bump yet, just bigger.

[sophiegrace]

mommytoava I'll add you in right now. I'm so incredibly sorry on the loss of your daughter.

[sophiegrace]

mommytoava make sure that's ok. I'm mobile and can't see siggies (if you have one) and I want to make sure your info is correct and ok with you.

[sophiegrace]

What a week! I can't wait to firmly plant myself in my bed and just not move for a good 12 hours. My body is done.

How far along are you? 10+2

How are you doing physically? I'm either getting used to feeling so gross/nauseous or its starting to improve. I haven't thrown up all week even though there have been a few close calls so I think I'm rounding a corner. *all the fingers crossed*

Mentally? I'm doing ok with this pregnancy, but struggling with the last five weeks of my last. From diagnosis to birth I was shuttled from specialist to specialist and was just so out of control. If I don't immediately fall asleep at night my mind starts going back to that and the overwhelming anxiety and fear start up. My first response is to start avoiding people when I feel like that so while I feel safe on this board, I haven't checked in on CAR in a couple of weeks. That's silly and ridiculous and I need to stop because it's something I actually CAN control and those women are just wonderful.

Any appts this week? No, not until 12 weeks. Back to back OB appt with MFM the following day. (I think it was the setting up of the MFM appt that started me on my spiral).

Q/C/T? No, but I'll try to go back and respond to the others I saw on here.

QOTW: I asked this question because there's something going on down there. I have a small umbilical hernia and I think it's causing my belly button to flatten out super early. My old piercing just looks sad. I wanted to see what was going on with everyone else because I thought I was imagining it!

[mommytoava]

sophiegrace the info is correct, thank you

[shedreamsincolor]

I wasn't sure whether to start a new thread, but I figured I could start here for advice since I know you all have also experienced this. My former due date is coming up at the end of the month (April 29th) and I have to say this has been more of a mind fuck than I was expecting. I knew it was going to be hard but man the last few days have been flat out terrible. Like in bed most of the day, crying on and off bad. I would like to try to find a way to commemorate Robin on his due date in a way that isn't depressing (I.e. I don't want to visit his grave yet. Even though that may be helpful at some point right now I think it would do more harm than good). How have you ladies celebrated your past due dates? I would like to do something that is also appropriate to include my two year old DS.

[sophiegrace]

Apr 16, 2016 19:17:30 GMT -5 shedreamsincolor said:

I wasn't sure whether to start a new thread, but I figured I could start here for advice since I know you all have also experienced this. My former due date is coming up at the end of the month (April 29th) and I have to say this has been more of a mind fuck than I was expecting. I knew it was going to be hard but man the last few days have been flat out terrible. Like in bed most of the day, crying on and off bad. I would like to try to find a way to commemorate Robin on his due date in a way that isn't depressing (I.e. I don't want to visit his grave yet. Even though that may be helpful at some point right now I think it would do more harm than good). How have you ladies celebrated your past due dates? I would like to do something that is also appropriate to include my two year old DS.

Hugs lady. I'm tearing up thinking about the anticipation leading up to my son's due date and knowing how you must be feeling right now. He was due two weeks before Christmas so the holiday season was supposed to be drastically different and I couldn't get over that. I will say that I felt much more at peace on his due date than I did in the weeks/days leading up to it. We bought a tree that we will be planting when the soil has warmed up just a bit more. Maybe in your area it's already nice enough to plant a tree as a memorial? One of the blogs I follow, the mom also has a LO and they go out together and decorate the tree for different holidays (Xmas ornaments, Easter eggs, etc.) but then also put special little ornaments on the tree for the angelversary and the EDD. Those ornaments more so represented the them they wanted to have in his nursery (elephants if I remember correctly) along with something special her LC picked out. You can also do a candle lighting, balloon release, special family dinner, and I could go on. My important thing was to not ever ever forget my son and he deserved a little celebration for all the happiness he brought us in the 25 weeks we were given with him. His due date became a day for that. I didn't get all the dreams for the future like I wanted so bad, but the months between my BFP and his diagnosis were some of my happiest and that deserved recognition. His edd was my day to thank him for that. I've had many bad days since that day, especially in the past week or two, but I think that's allowed and ok. I'll be thinking about you. All the hugs to you and your family. Please feel free to speak, vent, and mourn over the next months to us if you need to. That's what this thread is for.

[shedreamsincolor]

Thanks for the great advice ladies. danib - this was my initial reaction to how I would handle the day (lots of wine) but unfortunately no longer an option. I have taken the day off work and I think DH will too. sophiegrace I love the idea of planting a tree. My parents actually offered to do that for us after our loss so maybe we could pick it out that day. @sarahwithanh I like the idea to ask for more ideas on CAR. I've been nervous to intro over there- something about labeling this one a "rainbow" when I'm not out of first tri yet. But I think it's time. tgrimes1980 - this is honestly what I'll probably end up doing. I've already been looking for things to do that day (i.e. A special class or event) that I can do with my DS