I am a teacher and really would like to try and time it with having a March-May baby. That would mean trying for a baby soon after DS first birthday and we are just not ready for another one yet. I think it will be closer to three years, I am Also looking forward to having one school where I'm not pregnant or pumping in between children.
I was thinking the exact same thing and I think DH is now thinking maybe we should wait a bit longer & try a year from now. But he doesn't really get the timing around the school year thing though and I'm already almost 32 so I don't really want to wait that long in case we wind up wanting 3. There is so much to think about though!
Post by dplusbsquared on Feb 5, 2015 21:00:44 GMT -5
I don't know the best timing, but I know one terrible timing... Mine are 15 years apart... DS2 is my surprise baby! Totally a wonderful surprise, but the gap is much less than ideal!
I've always wanted mine close together. Yep years or under apart. My sisters are the years assist, im four years younger than the middle. They were always pretty close growing up and i was more the annoying younger sister. So i like the idea of mine being closer. But I really worry about costs of having two in daycare so I'm not sure. DH is pretty content with just DS but I'm sure we will have more.
We have 2 yrs. 8/9ish months difference here. I can say now thank goodness we don't have two three year olds! I was glad DD was a little more independent whe I was pregnant. But I'm also glad they're pretty close in age. But it still seems like they're so little to tell how good the spacing is.
Honestly, I think you make due with what you get and It just works and siblings will just be close or not not necessarily because of the age difference.
We had planned to start trying in the next few months. However, I'm a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding in October and knowing my luck I'll have awful morning sickness again and won't be able to function. So we'll wait until after the wedding. I want my kids to be close in age. I'm 16 months older than my sister & our brother is 7 years younger than her. I couldn't imagine starting all over again like my mom did.
Post by sisterjanet on Feb 6, 2015 14:10:45 GMT -5
I'm not sure if we're done or if we'll have another baby. We wanted to have more than one child, and we wanted them pretty close together. I read somewhere that in terms of physical ideals, there are supposed to be some lingering advantages if you get pregnant less than three years after having a baby, but you also should wait to get pregnant until a year has passed from when you last gave birth to give your body time to heal. A PP said 18 months, so possibly they've updated that recommendation, or I'm just remembering slightly wrong.
The magic 'oh no 35' thing I think has to do with a few different circumstances changing as you age. I can remember my doctor showing me a chart when I was talking about trying for my first son, showing average natural fertility declining with age and likelihood of certain complications increasing with age, and the two lines cross at approximately age 35. (I can't remember if it was specific complications or just all the problems lumped into one statistic.)
ETA The two lines crossing just means, as far as I could tell, that in terms of averages and statistics, it's more easy to get pregnant and the pregnancy is on average going to be a better experience. It's not like "oh, you're 35, sorry, no babies for you." The data didn't change steeply after 35; it was just a gradual trend. (I'm trying to explain clearly but not sure if I've succeeded.)
Post by yvanehtnioj on Feb 6, 2015 14:28:29 GMT -5
I am out of the norm here but I want like 5 years between kids. I can't imagine being pregnant and caring for a baby with a 2 year old around. I also want to savor the first few years. I feel like having another would take away from soaking it in. But I didn't have my first until I was 32 so I may very well end up OAD with a timeline like that.
sisterjanet there is also a lot of research around greater risk of complications in the pregnancy if either parent is over 35.. Possibilities of chromosomal changes and such. There are some new studies claiming the opposite tho so who knows. I just know I'm gonna be exponentially more tired 2 years from now so I'd also like to get er done now while I haven't gone through the toddler ringer.
sisterjanet there is also a lot of research around greater risk of complications in the pregnancy if either parent is over 35.. Possibilities of chromosomal changes and such. There are some new studies claiming the opposite tho so who knows. I just know I'm gonna be exponentially more tired 2 years from now so I'd also like to get er done now while I haven't gone through the toddler ringer.
Oh hey, for my librarian homework I need to do a search about clinical trials and couldn't think what to search for. I'm going to see if I can find anything about this. Thanks for the idea.
Mine are 3 years and 7 months apart. I LOVE it. DS1 absolutely adores "his baby" and he's independent enough so that I'm not pulling my hair out all the time. So far so good and I wouldn't change a thing.
sisterjanet there is also a lot of research around greater risk of complications in the pregnancy if either parent is over 35.. Possibilities of chromosomal changes and such. There are some new studies claiming the opposite tho so who knows. I just know I'm gonna be exponentially more tired 2 years from now so I'd also like to get er done now while I haven't gone through the toddler ringer.
Oh hey, for my librarian homework I need to do a search about clinical trials and couldn't think what to search for. I'm going to see if I can find anything about this. Thanks for the idea.
I would love to see what you find.. most of my info comes from the taking charge of your fertility book, but doing a quick search on old dr google shows that research is changing a bit.
Growing up there was 2 years between me and my sister which was nice as we always had each other to play with when we were little, but there was lots of jealousy and competition when we got older. As adults it's nice as we go thru the same things together. However, my brother was 10 years younger than me and we got on like a house on fire - no jealousy, no rivalry and I just loved having someone to look after.
My own children are 7 years apart and it's great. The eldest is able to help me out loads with DS, she's keen to help, loves the responsibility, loves showing him off to her friends and the big age difference means she has no reason to resent him or be jealous - he's no threat to her, her toys or her relationship with me. She's at school while I have my one on one time with him. She has her own life and independence - it's a great situation all round.
However - we are planning another baby as soon as possible as it would be great for DS to have a wee friend to play with.
What I'm trying to say is - I don't think it matters what the age gap is as long as all children feel secure and have an important role in the family.
Oh hey, for my librarian homework I need to do a search about clinical trials and couldn't think what to search for. I'm going to see if I can find anything about this. Thanks for the idea.
I would love to see what you find.. most of my info comes from the taking charge of your fertility book, but doing a quick search on old dr google shows that research is changing a bit.
Ok, so clinical trials revealed not much at all, but I found two articles that show inverse correlations between male age and fertility/time to pregnancy. It's not a super strong case, but considering I didn't take a whole long time fine tuning the search it's a good start.
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