TTM about unusual names

[helenahhandbasket]

In general.

Not pregnant, not trying, just looking for some good convo.

I'm of the mindset that less is more when it comes to names. The names I tend to like are mostly no nonsense clearly masculine or feminine names. No malarkey.

However, I do have some names on my "fantasy list" that to me qualify as unusual.

I am curious to know if you think an unusual name could hold a child back in anyway? Socially, academically or otherwise? I was a painfully shy child myself so I might be approaching this as a highly sensitive person. I could maybe see how an unusual name might make a shy child feel even more so, as I always remember just wanting to blend in.

Any thoughts, experiences to share?

Edit- to clarify, unusual to me means a "real" name that is seldom used.

[reginaphalange]

Hmmm, this is interesting because I have social anxiety but I always loved the fact that my name was 'unusual'. It isn't anymore but people used to comment on it all of the time (although, it was always complimentary). I didn't like getting attention either but somehow I didn't mind it if it was about my name.

I think that every kid is going to be affected in different ways by different names and there is no way to know before hand what effect the name will have. I feel like it could potentially hold a kid back but also have a great effect on them as well. But again, you won't know until it happens.

I'm not into very many unusual names, unpopular yes, but not unusual so I don't really know what I would do. However, I think I would give them a fairly mainstream middle name to fall back on.

[bromios]

I think that most people with real but unusual names would be just fine because teachers and employers are more likely to assume that there is a cultural component they just aren't familiar with. We don't live in a world anymore where a couple dozen names per sex are overwhelmingly dominant and other names just seem weird.

[honeylemon]

DS1 has an unusual (in the States) name. So far we haven't had huge issues with it. Most people don't pronounce it correctly the first time but get it after corrected. He is 5.5 and already used to it. He'll say his name, and someone will say "Oh, Keegan?" And he says no, his name, and spells it for them.

I'm not sure how he would handle it if he were shy. He's a very outgoing and vocal child.

[k3am]

Unusual names are pretty common around here, or at least with the folks we know. A combination is cultural - we have a highly diverse population - and even those that aren't cultural, no one really raises an eyebrow at.

I would give you the list of kids that DD knows to get a sense for the unusual names, but it would be pretty revealing. Even the names that gave me a "what were they thinking?" pause the first time I heard, I've grown to like and not associate with the original connotations they had.

We have an acquaintance from college who named her kids Elizabeth and Victoria. Two very normal, real, valid, common, socially acceptable names. And while I'm sure none of us have ever said it to her face, I've heard almost everyone we know comment on how boring they are.

As a side note, I personally have a very real name, somewhat common name, and for most of my life, I hated it. I'm pretty indifferent to it now. When people say it, I answer. It identifies me, it doesn't define me.

[brooklynesque]

My child has an unusual (but relatively easy to say and spell) name -- Saskia. I don't think it's going to be an issue for her; once people hear it a couple of times it's a name like any other. We sometimes get a polite question or two about the name when people first hear it; I'm sure she'll be fielding such questions for a long time to come, and I suppose she might get a bit sick of explaining it at some point ("it's a Dutch name; my parents just liked it"). Of course I live in a large coastal city where it's not at all unusual for kids to have unusual names, either for cultural reasons or due to sheer hipster contrariness.

[reginaphalange]

Apr 21, 2016 16:57:18 GMT -5 k3am said:

Unusual names are pretty common around here, or at least with the folks we know. A combination is cultural - we have a highly diverse population - and even those that aren't cultural, no one really raises an eyebrow at.

This is very true. I grew up in the country in a very uniform/non-diverse town. Unusual names would stick out a lot next to the 20 Samanthas. However, now I live in a very diverse city and with all of the different cultural names, 'unusal' gets to be normal or at least the 'unusual' category gets smaller and smaller.

[dreadpiratebuttercup]

I think as long as the name is unusual, but not obviously youneek, it would not hold a child back.

[joy]

Has anyone really read some history from the times of Henry VIII? I think only four names were around for men (Thomas, Henry, George, and William) and women (Elizabeth, Margaret, Mary, and Catherine). It's the most confusing thing to read. Hell, Henry had THREE wives named Catherine and two named Anne!

I feel like an unusual name during that time period was ...Sarah. Haha.

Anyway, I'm a bit cold on this topic. I don't think unusual names, long names, or any number of other things hold kids back ultimately. I think they are places where skills can be learned and great progress in character can be made with the right support.

My own experiences color this view, which may or may not be considered wrong by others. I was a small, shy girl who couldn't play sports so well but was good at school. These were my truths. I lacked a lot of confidence in many areas - some of which I could change and some I couldn't. None of it held me back from being a successful adult and has definitely benefited the person I grew to be.

So, embrace all the unusual names. Use 'em if you like 'em.

[housecarder]

I live in an area where names like Hudson, Peyton, or Harper are the most unusual names out there. Hell my brother has decided to name his son Walker. Rural, simple, etc is expected.

When people ask what we are naming the girls and I respond with Seraphina and Evangeline I get blank stares and "oh..."s. I don't feel like these are super unusual and it's so frustrating.

I don't think it will hold them back, my name is unusual and I've never met someone with the same name. It sounds similar to other names and there has been confusion until corrected, but it's never held me back.

[helenahhandbasket]

Thank you for all of the thoughtful replies!

I also live in a fairly diverse coastal neighborhood with a lot to of cultural diversity, so we do come across a lot of unusual names- both cultural and otherwise.

My own name was a top ten name the year I was born (it's an 80s) name so I don't have any experience with this myself, I was shy anyway but if I try to imagine my shy grade school self with an unusual name I cringe.

[honeylemon]

I just don't think unusual names are that unheard of now. Hell, last night I walked through DS1's school for next year and the majority of the names I saw on the wall were unusual. Most were also you-neek so that's unfortunate, but I really don't think having a real, but unusual name is going to be an issue at all for children now.

[Deleted]

I have a very common name with an Eastern European spelling. The worst of it is when interviewers me think English isn't my first language and asked me where I'm from -- which is totally inappropriate, but whatever. It's not as bad now that I've taken DH's very common LN.
I don't think it held me back in anyway, my tentative personality was more of an issue than my name!

As an anecdote, my sister has a common FN LN combination that's also the name of a building in her city. Apparently she wasn't getting some of her mail because the post thought it was improperly addressed.

[legomyago]

This thread is helpful to me, as we are working on names for our daughter to be born in July. DH and I have very common, popular names and live in the Midwest. We are considering an Eastern European/Scandinavian name that we both like, but I am a bit hesitant because it is not common in the US and would be hard for people to pronounce when they read it, so she would be spelling her name for others quite a bit. We used to live in a tiny Swedish town and know that if we were still living there, no one would bat an eye at the name. But we don't live there anymore, so the name would seem unusual. I've never considered myself to like unusual names, so I haven't thought much about this before now.

[k3am]

legomyago, DD has an unusual name. It's not hard to pronounce in general, but it's not phonetic, so it is hard to go from reading it on paper to saying it. It only takes once or twice for people who are familiar with her to remember how to pronounce it.

The only people who can't seem to get it right is her pedi and his nursing staff. (I'm sure because they go through so many kids each day, that they don't have the luxury of time/repetition to make the connection). We just consider it NBD and keep an ear out for any interpretation of her name.

[jollywife]

All three of my kids have rare in the US/unusual names. My girls both have very elaborate first names but go by relatively more common nns. My son's name is short and spelled phonetically and we've had no problems at all. When we are at the pedis office my girls' fns always get mispronounced but it's not a big deal. We just say oh they go by (nns) and move on.

I love their names. We picked names that were culturally significant and meaningful to us. As a child I was very shy and disliked my unusual name. This is a possibility with my kids as well but I got over it and think I turned out ok despite that. Now I like my name.

[sandandsea]

I like uncommon, but not made up, names. DS has a pretty popular Spanish name, Mateo, that seems very uncommon to my family in the Midwest but very common to dHs Hispanic family. DS2 will have a more uncommon name that's technically a nickname in Spanish, but a totally legit but uncommon name. I couldn't get behind naming a boy in the US Ariel (thank you mermaid) and didn't like Ariano, especially since we'd call him Ari anyway.

I think people get used to the name whatever you name them. And once you "know one" the name seems more legit no matter how made up it first was. . And I think people figure out pronounciations eventually.

We live in a very diverse area so I hear uncommon names daily and don't bat an eye. I figure most are cultural names I just don't know about but love learning new names. I don't think anyone gets prejudged by a name really because it's really not their fault.