Just need a lil talking from the ledge...**PGAL BRAIN**

[WineNChocolate]

So I have been sleeping like crap even though I am definitely tired..my mind races and races. Oh and well I am getting up to pee a lot. Anywho this morning get dressed and then I start the symptom spotting...hmm my nipples aren't very sore anymore. I haven't really had boob soreness just really like electric boob zaps. You know like a sharp twinge in your boob every now and then. My bloat is somewhat non-existent.  Then I look at my face and this is one has me shaking my own head but then it freaks me out.. MY ACNE IS GOING AWAY!!

So long story short..I am just a wreck mentally...like I look okay, I smile and act normal but my brain is just all over the place . I am supposed to go in for betas whenever I choose to compare to my Monday betas of this week. I am thinking today or Monday. Then I think dear lord what if they don't quadruple from this past Monday what if my progesterone drops. WHAT IF we are at that crossroads again.

Thanks for letting me vent..and I hope its not too whiny. I have my good days and my bad and sometimes my dh just struggles on what to say.

TIA ~ donuts and chocolate for everyone!

[birch113]

(((Hugs))) PgAL is so hard, friend. It's easy for me to remind you that "symptoms come and go," but I know exactly how it feels to dissect every symptom you have, and every symptom you don't. Im posting the PgAL mantras here for you. I don't know how you feel about them, but they help me a lot when I start spinning.

PGAL Mantras

Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.

My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c.

Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!

Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot jinx your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!

There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive"

More (((hugs)) and GL with your betas.

[WineNChocolate]

Thanks birch113 !! I am good most days, I need to get a hobby to stay busy. It always attacks after my DD goes to sleep and its supposed to that calm time. That's when my mind ramps up! I do try remind myself all these things. Thanks again.

[birch113]

Of course! I've been listening to The Mindful Pregnancy that legalbeagle mentioned and that really helps me to calm my brain at night. Not sure if that's your thing, but maybe check it out?

[requiressnacks]

WineNChocolate, I very much understand what you are going through and I am so sorry. My mind has been all over the place too and some days I am happy and excited and some days I am sad and depressed. I guess like our symptoms, those feelings come and go. The PGAL mantras have really helped me and I say them to myself each morning. I hope you are able to quiet your mind.

[kaydee0402]

So many creepy internet hugs. I've never had a loss (knock on wood), but my first was the result of a long battle with infertility. I freaked out whenever my nausea would disappear or if I felt better than I thought I should. It's totally normal to feel this way and my best advice is to just try and relax and take care of you. We're here if you need to talk.

[kaydee0402]

Now where's my doughnut?

[achromia]

Just here to offer some more creepy stranger hugs. I have PAIF brain, which is probably different but still a nagging worry. I keep waiting for someone to tell me this is all a colossal joke.

The mantras are a good idea and if you need to go get betas done to ease your mind, do it. No one could blame you for feeling anxious. Take care of yourself!

[brit365]

I know exactly how you feel; you are not alone, nor is there anything wrong with having those feelings. I had a CP back in February and even though I have had betas, and US with a confirmed heart beat this time I am still a nervous wreck that something could happen. As PP said the mantras are helpful when I'm teetering on the ledge. Creepy internet hugs to you!!

[winewinebustarhyme]

I'm so sorry WineNChocolate. I think going in for betas will give you a small piece of mind. I completely understand where you're coming from. PGAL is a terrible thing to handle. It's hard when, right now, symptoms are touch and go. Every pregnancy is different, and something that was normal last time isn't always normal this time. It does always help me to remember, just because I had a loss in the past doesn't mean that I'm more likely to have a loss now. You've got this!

[littlelion]

Big hugs WineNChocolate. Pp have given great advice. Plus I know how much each day can differ between feeling hopeful and then expecting the worst. Enjoy the good days and try not to dwell on the bad.

[sdgal]

Creepy internet hugs WineNChocolate

I haven't had a loss, but dealt with infertility, so I'm also trying to wrap my head around this being real. I just told my DH this morning about checking the TP every time you wipe going to the bathroom and he had no idea that we deal with these crazy fears.

I also don't have any symptoms besides the getting up at 3am EVERY morning to pee.

But, as far as I know, I'm still pregnant and should enjoy this brief time without symptoms.

[legalbeagle]

Totally totally feel this. Hugs. You're not alone.

Was talking to a friend who had a loss and now has a 9 month old and she said something that has been really helping me: I'm hopeful unless someone tells me otherwise.

[redsoxgirl10]

Just sending hugs!!! It's so hard

[redsoxgirl10]

birch113 what is mindful pregnancy?

[birch113]

Apr 22, 2016 18:22:10 GMT -5 redsoxgirl10 said:

birch113 what is mindful pregnancy?

The Headspace Guide To...A Mindful Pregnancy by Andy Puddicombe www.amazon.com/dp/B00PQJHKJE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_udp_api_1z3gxb0F1R9MS

I listen to a chapter a night.