Update on D ( We got temporary guardianship)

[gnomesweetgnome]

I think the most important thing you can do right now is to work on attachment and trust. I would look into TBRI (child.tcu.edu is a great resource for finding out more about that), and work on finding a grief counselor who has experience working with children. That might have to wait until she feels more secure with you, though. Felt safety is going to be a huge issue with her since she has been bounced around a few times, and trusting adults will be hard work.

[ceejay]

H and I took a class through our foster care agency about trauma informed parenting. I would see if you could find a similar class or at least online reading materials to look through. We talked a lot in the class about kids that had similar behavioral issues as a result of the trauma they had been through. It sounds like D has gone through a lot of trauma in the past year, and it's totally understandable that she would be acting out in this way.

Good luck! Be patient with D and help her to know that she can trust you and that you will be there for her. It will take her time to really believe that she is safe.

[redandblue]

I agree to focus on attachment. She has been through so much and needs to feel safe. In time she will come around, but her basic needs of safety and security need to be met first (think Maslow's hierarchy of needs). Just be there for her whenever she needs you. Like as much as possible.

Good luck with the transition! Keep us posted!

[butlerfan]

Apr 25, 2016 20:45:08 GMT -5 ceejay said:

H and I took a class through our foster care agency about trauma informed parenting. I would see if you could find a similar class or at least online reading materials to look through. We talked a lot in the class about kids that had similar behavioral issues as a result of the trauma they had been through. It sounds like D has gone through a lot of trauma in the past year, and it's totally understandable that she would be acting out in this way.

Good luck! Be patient with D and help her to know that she can trust you and that you will be there for her. It will take her time to really believe that she is safe.

This....I was just going to post something very similar. We are half way through our trauma parenting class.  Your post reminded me so much of the examples they discuss in class. Be consistent and understanding. Show that she can trust you by saying if you are going for ice cream you go for ice cream, etc. They remember the big and little things. Her bedwetting is not her fault and don't scold her for it-this is one way she reacts to trauma. Just buy waterproof protectors and just be there for her and listen if she wants to talk. She doesn't know what way is up right now.