Post by blueflower on May 4, 2016 14:16:48 GMT -5
I'm really struggling with the likely possibility that my O13 DD will be my last. After almost 3 years of secondary infertility we conceived her. We had always planned to have at least one more, so I never went through the whole "this will be the last time I'm pregnant/have a newborn/have a one year old" process. This post is probably going to be long.
I was diagnosed with PCOS when we started TTC our second in 2009. I rarely ovulated on my own anymore. The month we conceived was a total fluke and so unexpected! Since she was born we haven't used any type of prevention. I had my first PP period around 7 months, then again at 9 or 10 months. I wasn't tracking Temps or anything because I was still up with a baby through the night, but my cycles seemed a little more regular (not the 60+ days they were before. More like ever 45 days.) In January I had a longer period. I seemed to spot for well beyond 10 days. At the end of February I started again, but this time I bled for almost all of march, mostly light though, and it kept looking like it was going to stop. We were in escrow while selling our hone so I kind of lost track of time. The bleeding finally stopped, but 2 days later I had bright red again, then nothing, then spotted every other day for 6 days. I called my Dr when I had the bright red. Based on my known diagnosis of pcos we figured that was the issue. She ordered blood work, a ultrasound and a GYN consultation.
It took several weeks for them to get me in for a ultrasound. I kept hoping that I'd get there and they would find a pregnancy, wishful thinking! The next day my Dr left a message saying she needed me to call to discuss my ultrasound and my hopes soared! But the news I got was very different. They had found a complex ovarian cyst and I needed a pelvic MRI. The next day I went to the GYN and she sat down with me and talked about my history. She then went to try to review my ultrasound images. She came back and told me that the cyst appeared to be septated and was over 8 cm. There was a concern for ovarian cancer because of the nature and size of the cyst. I have pretty much no family history of cancer, heart disease and diabetes are my big family illnesses. She told me I needed surgery and that they would be sending me to a GYN Oncologist. I spent all weekend terrified, went to my mri appointment on a Monday night and saw the oncologist Tuesday. They gave me some relief after reviewing the mri, they felt it looked like a large group of cysts versus a single large septated cyst which was good news. But they couldn't know for sure without surgery removing the ovary and having a pathologist perform a frozen section while I was under anesthesia. If it was benign that would be it and they'd close me ip, if it was malignant then they'd proceed with a full hysterectomy, removal of both ovaries, some lymph nodes, ommentum and possibly my appendix to stage the cancer. I was also going to have a D&C done because my uterine lining was thick on ultrasound.
Surgery happened that Friday. The first thing I remember after surgery was asking my nurse what happened. She told me they had removed my ovary and fallopian tube and that everything had gone well. We had so much relief! I think I forgot to mention earlier, we're supposed to be moving overseas any day now (military husband.) My recovery has gone well, the surgery was laparoscopic so not too invasive.
Last Friday I went to my 1 week post op appointment. We expected them to look at my incisions ask how I was feeling and send us on our way after the whole ordeal. The Doctor came in and looked and asked. He said that they didn't have final reports back from pathology so he asked me to wait while he called to see if they had a unofficial report (this appointment was supposed to clear me for us to leave.)
He came back in with the attending who told us that the ovary was benign ( yay! ) and that the abdominal wash was also clear! But the pathology report for the D&C was showing complex endometrial hyperplasia with atypia. They sent it out to a Pathology specialist and are awaiting the final report. But if that's what the final report confirms it's considered precancerous. They talked to me about temporary fertility preservation, a Mirena IUD and serial biopsies. If the hyperplasia regressed the iud could be removed and we'd have a small window to ttc. However, they highly recommend a hysterectomy for women with this diagnosis as it often leads to cancer, and a lot of the time they actually find a low grade of cancer at the hysterectomy. They almost always are able to cure the cancer with a hysterectomy alone. They are hoping to get the final report Friday.
I'm feeling so sad and lost. We currently live in a hotel as we sold our house. Almost everything we own has been packed up into shipping crates for over a month waiting for us to leave. I'm struggling so much with the realization that I am most likely done having babies. It's been such a roller-coaster, and I just needed to vent!
I was diagnosed with PCOS when we started TTC our second in 2009. I rarely ovulated on my own anymore. The month we conceived was a total fluke and so unexpected! Since she was born we haven't used any type of prevention. I had my first PP period around 7 months, then again at 9 or 10 months. I wasn't tracking Temps or anything because I was still up with a baby through the night, but my cycles seemed a little more regular (not the 60+ days they were before. More like ever 45 days.) In January I had a longer period. I seemed to spot for well beyond 10 days. At the end of February I started again, but this time I bled for almost all of march, mostly light though, and it kept looking like it was going to stop. We were in escrow while selling our hone so I kind of lost track of time. The bleeding finally stopped, but 2 days later I had bright red again, then nothing, then spotted every other day for 6 days. I called my Dr when I had the bright red. Based on my known diagnosis of pcos we figured that was the issue. She ordered blood work, a ultrasound and a GYN consultation.
It took several weeks for them to get me in for a ultrasound. I kept hoping that I'd get there and they would find a pregnancy, wishful thinking! The next day my Dr left a message saying she needed me to call to discuss my ultrasound and my hopes soared! But the news I got was very different. They had found a complex ovarian cyst and I needed a pelvic MRI. The next day I went to the GYN and she sat down with me and talked about my history. She then went to try to review my ultrasound images. She came back and told me that the cyst appeared to be septated and was over 8 cm. There was a concern for ovarian cancer because of the nature and size of the cyst. I have pretty much no family history of cancer, heart disease and diabetes are my big family illnesses. She told me I needed surgery and that they would be sending me to a GYN Oncologist. I spent all weekend terrified, went to my mri appointment on a Monday night and saw the oncologist Tuesday. They gave me some relief after reviewing the mri, they felt it looked like a large group of cysts versus a single large septated cyst which was good news. But they couldn't know for sure without surgery removing the ovary and having a pathologist perform a frozen section while I was under anesthesia. If it was benign that would be it and they'd close me ip, if it was malignant then they'd proceed with a full hysterectomy, removal of both ovaries, some lymph nodes, ommentum and possibly my appendix to stage the cancer. I was also going to have a D&C done because my uterine lining was thick on ultrasound.
Surgery happened that Friday. The first thing I remember after surgery was asking my nurse what happened. She told me they had removed my ovary and fallopian tube and that everything had gone well. We had so much relief! I think I forgot to mention earlier, we're supposed to be moving overseas any day now (military husband.) My recovery has gone well, the surgery was laparoscopic so not too invasive.
Last Friday I went to my 1 week post op appointment. We expected them to look at my incisions ask how I was feeling and send us on our way after the whole ordeal. The Doctor came in and looked and asked. He said that they didn't have final reports back from pathology so he asked me to wait while he called to see if they had a unofficial report (this appointment was supposed to clear me for us to leave.)
He came back in with the attending who told us that the ovary was benign ( yay! ) and that the abdominal wash was also clear! But the pathology report for the D&C was showing complex endometrial hyperplasia with atypia. They sent it out to a Pathology specialist and are awaiting the final report. But if that's what the final report confirms it's considered precancerous. They talked to me about temporary fertility preservation, a Mirena IUD and serial biopsies. If the hyperplasia regressed the iud could be removed and we'd have a small window to ttc. However, they highly recommend a hysterectomy for women with this diagnosis as it often leads to cancer, and a lot of the time they actually find a low grade of cancer at the hysterectomy. They almost always are able to cure the cancer with a hysterectomy alone. They are hoping to get the final report Friday.
I'm feeling so sad and lost. We currently live in a hotel as we sold our house. Almost everything we own has been packed up into shipping crates for over a month waiting for us to leave. I'm struggling so much with the realization that I am most likely done having babies. It's been such a roller-coaster, and I just needed to vent!
::hugs::
