Trying to help a friend after my own loss

[preservation]

Hi everyone
My chilhood friend recommended this site to me after I had three pregnancy losses in the past two years (one pregnancy where baby had a major birth defecT and was going to be stillborn and two early misscarriages)....after all her support of me my friend just had a full term stillborn baby...I am taking it hard and am trying to be supportive but we don't live close to each other. It's devestating and I feel so sad. I have this irrational feeling which I know is not true that my bad luck got transfered to her. I don't want this to be about me though. I try to tell her things like it's noT her fault and she isn't a failure and she hasn't dissapointed anyone but I know how much pain she is going through and that she just needs time and that no one can really say anything that's going to make that pain go away

[rslh10]

I'm so sorry for your losses, and your friends loss. My daughter was a full term stillbirth as well. I think all you can do is be there for her. Don't tell her everything happens for a reason, or things like that. You know better than most that those things sting beyond measure.

Your bad luck did not transfer to her. I know you may feel that way, but that is impossible. It always feel good to have someone to "blame", though so I understand your thinking. I hope your friend knows that you are there to listen. Has she joined us here yet? I would encourage her to intro here. These ladies have been the light during my dark days. Sending love and hugs to you and your friend.