Students, come in

[roseinbloom]

I think there are a few of us who are student mothers, yes? adorebel and cinnamonsmiles? Are there others?

Thought it might be nice to have a thread to discuss issues surrounding student work/career development. I found one blog that talks about trials and tribulations of a post-doc doing research (babyattachmode) but it's oldish and not exactly relevant to me. Otherwise, I only vaguely know one other person who is a student mother.

So, to start off, a GTKY? 

What kind of degree are you working on? 

How far in are you?

What kind of maternity leave did you or are you taking? 

Was/is your supervisor/advisor supportive?

What has been the biggest challenge so far in terms of balancing personal life and student expectations?

In what ways do you think being a mother positively affects your work?

[roseinbloom]

May 19, 2016 1:54:44 GMT -5 roseinbloom said:

What kind of degree are you working on? 
PhD

How far in are you?
One term in, LOL. Baby happened earlier than anticipated.

What kind of maternity leave did you or are you taking? 
Program is in the UK, so they have generous leave. But due to $$$ immigration surcharges, cost of living, and other personal factors, when I go back to school we anticipate my lads will stay home together.  

Was/is your supervisor/advisor supportive?
She's been great so far. She has volunteered that I shouldn't push work too hard while also not losing interest in my work or causing me to lose step compared to the other students. She also helped me navigate requesting leave.

What has been the biggest challenge so far in terms of balancing personal life and student expectations?
"Baby brain" definitely hit me hard during pregnancy and made me feel mentally impotent. I think maternity leave is making my brain go soft too, although to be fair there has been a lot going on here. The ability to think critically is my most important intellectual edge, and I'm worried about losing it. I need to get back in the saddle.

In what ways do you think being a mother positively affects your work?
Already I feel I am thinking more creatively and learning to be more flexible in daily life. Dealing with PPD is helping me to confront issues that I anticipated being potential hurdles to completing the degree. Silver lining?

I've heard student parents become masters at time management. I hope that happens to me, because I sure need it...

[jewel441]

I'm not a student mom, but H is a student dad for a few more weeks (he graduates in June). Major props for working on your degrees while having a baby it's not easy! All though except for the no second income, student dad is awesome bc he has way more flexibility in his schedule than he would working.

We go to a lot of events/groups on campus for new moms which are usually a combination of student moms and SOs as they call them here (spouses/partners of students) and I'm always amazed by the student moms and also think it's awesome how university really tries to support them, at least that is the vibe here.

roseinbloom what you said about mental edge is so true, I feel like I have lost the ability to do basic logic/reasoning let alone higher thinking!

[readinglove]

I'm working on my Master's degree, and am 2 semesters in. I only took 1 class this past semester, and am not doing any summer courses. I went in to meet with the new head of the department to go over my remaining classes and rework my plan, and she is wonderful. I'm a bit nervous for the fall - going back to work (I'm a teacher) and taking 2 classes will definitely test my time management skills!

[cinnamonsmiles]

What kind of degree are you working on?
Masters in Sports Nutrition

How far in are you?
3 years in a 2 year program, but I've had 2 children while being in the program.
I only have one class left, and that's thesis completion.

What kind of maternity leave did you or are you taking?
Because thesis is self-paced, I'm pretty much on my own (minus my committee).

Was/is your supervisor/advisor supportive?
The head of my committee is super supportive, but not the head of my program.

What has been the biggest challenge so far in terms of balancing personal life and student expectations?
Definitely the brain thing. I started a class 8 weeks after DS was born and barely remember anything from the first few months of the class.
Also, although employers are required to give a place to pump, campuses are not. I pumped many times in our graduate computer lab (using a nursing cover) and prayed no one would randomly walk in. There were times that women did, but thankfully no men.

In what ways do you think being a mother positively affects your work?
Motivates me to get this dang degree done. It was not my plan to have (multiple) kids while doing this, but that's how it happened.

[cinnamonsmiles]

May 19, 2016 2:18:31 GMT -5 roseinbloom said:

May 19, 2016 1:54:44 GMT -5 roseinbloom said:

How far in are you?
One term in, LOL. Baby happened earlier than anticipated.

This happened to us with DS. After months of TTC, we figured it was now or never for me to get my master's.
Cue BFP 3 weeks later.

[roseinbloom]

May 19, 2016 6:27:03 GMT -5 jewel441 said:

I'm not a student mom, but H is a student dad for a few more weeks (he graduates in June). Major props for working on your degrees while having a baby it's not easy! All though except for the no second income, student dad is awesome bc he has way more flexibility in his schedule than he would working.

We go to a lot of events/groups on campus for new moms which are usually a combination of student moms and SOs as they call them here (spouses/partners of students) and I'm always amazed by the student moms and also think it's awesome how university really tries to support them, at least that is the vibe here.

roseinbloom what you said about mental edge is so true, I feel like I have lost the ability to do basic logic/reasoning let alone higher thinking!

That is awesome, Jewel! Glad that you both get to enjoy the community of other SOs and families! :-) any events in particular which you really enjoyed?

[roseinbloom]

May 19, 2016 13:36:41 GMT -5 readinglove said:

I'm working on my Master's degree, and am 2 semesters in. I only took 1 class this past semester, and am not doing any summer courses. I went in to meet with the new head of the department to go over my remaining classes and rework my plan, and she is wonderful. I'm a bit nervous for the fall - going back to work (I'm a teacher) and taking 2 classes will definitely test my time management skills!

That sounds like quite the commitment, ReadingLove! Teachers are amazing people. How old are your students? So glad that you have a supportive department head, too, I'm sure that will make all the difference. Glad that you get to have this term and the summer off for now. :-)

[roseinbloom]

May 19, 2016 15:19:11 GMT -5 cinnamonsmiles said:

What kind of degree are you working on?
Masters in Sports Nutrition

How far in are you?
3 years in a 2 year program, but I've had 2 children while being in the program.
I only have one class left, and that's thesis completion.

What kind of maternity leave did you or are you taking?
Because thesis is self-paced, I'm pretty much on my own (minus my committee).

Was/is your supervisor/advisor supportive?
The head of my committee is super supportive, but not the head of my program.

What has been the biggest challenge so far in terms of balancing personal life and student expectations?
Definitely the brain thing. I started a class 8 weeks after DS was born and barely remember anything from the first few months of the class.
Also, although employers are required to give a place to pump, campuses are not. I pumped many times in our graduate computer lab (using a nursing cover) and prayed no one would randomly walk in. There were times that women did, but thankfully no men.

In what ways do you think being a mother positively affects your work?
Motivates me to get this dang degree done. It was not my plan to have (multiple) kids while doing this, but that's how it happened.

Awesome, CinnamonSmiles! Having two kids during your degree work is really impressive. In the coming months are you going to do part time writing and do part time daycare or something? Do you have student space to work on campus or are you mostly working from home? When are you planning on starting up writing? After the summer or do you have to start sooner?

Sorry for all the questions, but I'm also interested to hear how you managed to continue with coursework while having a little one at home. It seems like the goal is usually to have a kid while writing up, not really earlier. So I'd love to hear how you went about organizing your time.

[roseinbloom]

May 19, 2016 15:19:11 GMT -5 cinnamonsmiles said:

What kind of degree are you working on?
Masters in Sports Nutrition

How far in are you?
3 years in a 2 year program, but I've had 2 children while being in the program.
I only have one class left, and that's thesis completion.

What kind of maternity leave did you or are you taking?
Because thesis is self-paced, I'm pretty much on my own (minus my committee).

Was/is your supervisor/advisor supportive?
The head of my committee is super supportive, but not the head of my program.

What has been the biggest challenge so far in terms of balancing personal life and student expectations?
Definitely the brain thing. I started a class 8 weeks after DS was born and barely remember anything from the first few months of the class.
Also, although employers are required to give a place to pump, campuses are not. I pumped many times in our graduate computer lab (using a nursing cover) and prayed no one would randomly walk in. There were times that women did, but thankfully no men.

In what ways do you think being a mother positively affects your work?
Motivates me to get this dang degree done. It was not my plan to have (multiple) kids while doing this, but that's how it happened.

Awesome, CinnamonSmiles! Having two kids during your degree work is really impressive. In the coming months are you going to do part time writing and do part time daycare or something? Do you have student space to work on campus or are you mostly working from home? When are you planning on starting up writing? After the summer or do you have to start sooner?

Sorry for all the questions, but I'm also interested to hear how you managed to continue with coursework while having a little one at home. It seems like the goal is usually to have a kid while writing up, not really earlier. So I'd love to hear how you went about organizing your time.

[jewel441]

May 21, 2016 16:58:07 GMT -5 roseinbloom said:

May 19, 2016 6:27:03 GMT -5 jewel441 said:

I'm not a student mom, but H is a student dad for a few more weeks (he graduates in June). Major props for working on your degrees while having a baby it's not easy! All though except for the no second income, student dad is awesome bc he has way more flexibility in his schedule than he would working.

We go to a lot of events/groups on campus for new moms which are usually a combination of student moms and SOs as they call them here (spouses/partners of students) and I'm always amazed by the student moms and also think it's awesome how university really tries to support them, at least that is the vibe here.

roseinbloom what you said about mental edge is so true, I feel like I have lost the ability to do basic logic/reasoning let alone higher thinking!

That is awesome, Jewel! Glad that you both get to enjoy the community of other SOs and families! :-) any events in particular which you really enjoyed?

Well his classmates have been super supportive. LO was the 6th baby to be born to someone associated with his program during the 2 year degree to 3 wives, 1 student and 1 person who works for the program (yes one of the wives had 2 kids while we have been 2 years we've been here). There are 2 more due shorty after graduation too! They have organized a collection for gifts for all of them, and done meals after the baby was born. They bought us our stroller and a bunch of ppl came and brought us dinner, just a really tight knit community. I hang out with 2 of the moms a lot one has a baby 1 week older than LO and the other a 6 mo old.

On campus we also got infant care class and infant CPR for a really small fee. They also have a bunch of new moms and play group meet ups which we go to sometimes. It's just been a really nice experience, I hope I can find some good groups and such when we leave here as well, I will definitely miss the community!

[readinglove]

May 21, 2016 17:02:57 GMT -5 roseinbloom said:

May 19, 2016 13:36:41 GMT -5 readinglove said:

I'm working on my Master's degree, and am 2 semesters in. I only took 1 class this past semester, and am not doing any summer courses. I went in to meet with the new head of the department to go over my remaining classes and rework my plan, and she is wonderful. I'm a bit nervous for the fall - going back to work (I'm a teacher) and taking 2 classes will definitely test my time management skills!

That sounds like quite the commitment, ReadingLove! Teachers are amazing people. How old are your students? So glad that you have a supportive department head, too, I'm sure that will make all the difference. Glad that you get to have this term and the summer off for now. :-)

I teach 7th grade English. They're crazy, but I adore them. Although going back to work after maternity leave and the summer is going to suck a lot. Not looking forward to that.

[roseinbloom]

May 21, 2016 17:36:31 GMT -5 jewel441 said:

May 21, 2016 16:58:07 GMT -5 roseinbloom said:

That is awesome, Jewel! Glad that you both get to enjoy the community of other SOs and families! :-) any events in particular which you really enjoyed?

Well his classmates have been super supportive. LO was the 6th baby to be born to someone associated with his program during the 2 year degree to 3 wives, 1 student and 1 person who works for the program (yes one of the wives had 2 kids while we have been 2 years we've been here). There are 2 more due shorty after graduation too! They have organized a collection for gifts for all of them, and done meals after the baby was born. They bought us our stroller and a bunch of ppl came and brought us dinner, just a really tight knit community. I hang out with 2 of the moms a lot one has a baby 1 week older than LO and the other a 6 mo old.

On campus we also got infant care class and infant CPR for a really small fee. They also have a bunch of new moms and play group meet ups which we go to sometimes. It's just been a really nice experience, I hope I can find some good groups and such when we leave here as well, I will definitely miss the community!

That sounds like such a wonderful experience. So happy for you! It sounds like such a joyful place to be. Years from now you'll treasure those moments so much. I certainly hope you're able to stay in touch with some of those folks.

When you do eventually leave that little community it'll probably be so easy to find new people at daycare/preschool/school to enjoy since your little girl will be a bit older and getting involved in her own activities!

[roseinbloom]

May 22, 2016 11:25:41 GMT -5 readinglove said:

May 21, 2016 17:02:57 GMT -5 roseinbloom said:

That sounds like quite the commitment, ReadingLove! Teachers are amazing people. How old are your students? So glad that you have a supportive department head, too, I'm sure that will make all the difference. Glad that you get to have this term and the summer off for now. :-)

I teach 7th grade English. They're crazy, but I adore them. Although going back to work after maternity leave and the summer is going to suck a lot. Not looking forward to that.

My mom taught 7th grade English! Respect. They are crazy, but so lovable. I think they are often dismissed by teachers of other levels who don't want to deal with all the drama of hormonal rage. But they are old enough to be thoughtful, philosophical, and inquisitive while still sometimes slipping into childish sweetness.