2nd time+ moms - previous birth trauma nerves

[littleducky]

So, apparently last night is the night it decided to hit me that I need to get this baby out, somehow, someway, and in not very long.

I had a bit of a panic attack and couldn't stop crying.

I had a difficult labor and delivery with my son.  2 day induction, pitocin the whole way through because my body never figured out how to go into labor on its own, asked to sign the consents for a c/s when DS's heartrate kept dropping whenever they'd up the pitocin (ultimately I was able to deliver vaginally), 2 internal monitors for both contractions and heartrate, an epidural that only worked on one side of my body, suspected shoulder dystocia, a 3rd degree tear, and an episiotomy, plus severe hemorrhoids.  I also had a lot of pain for a long time afterwards and couldn't sit comfortably for about a month.

So, to say the least, I am nervous about this time around.  I have been told that I am not going past 39 weeks due to my history of gestational hypertension, chronic autoimmune disorder, as well as my cord abnormality (velamentous cord insertion), so if I don't go into labor on my own before then, I'm looking at another induction.  I am terrified of having a similar experience.  My OB said that we'll start doing cervical exams and possibly membrane sweeps at 36 weeks (so, next week) to hopefully get things going without an induction.

Anyone else with a difficult previous birth who has found some type of coping mechanism?  I will talk to my OB about it when I see her next Wednesday, but I'm really not sure what she could say to be reassuring.  I suppose that I could ask for a c/s, but that isn't an appealing option either.

[nitecheese]

I was induced at 41w 6d, labored for three days, never dilated past a 6 and wound up with a c/s. My ultimate fear of having the same experience led me to choose an RCS for this baby.

If you're worried about induction, a c/s might be the way to go. My recovery was not bad and DS is a totally happy, normal child.

Just my .02.

[littleducky]

May 26, 2016 9:28:28 GMT -5 nitecheese said:

I was induced at 41w 6d, labored for three days, never dilated past a 6 and wound up with a c/s. My ultimate fear of having the same experience led me to choose an RCS for this baby.

If you're worried about induction, a c/s might be the way to go. My recovery was not bad and DS is a totally happy, normal child.

Just my .02.

I have thought about asking about a scheduled c/s.  It just seems crazy to do so with no medical necessity.  

[nitecheese]

May 26, 2016 9:36:16 GMT -5 littleducky said:

May 26, 2016 9:28:28 GMT -5 nitecheese said:

I was induced at 41w 6d, labored for three days, never dilated past a 6 and wound up with a c/s. My ultimate fear of having the same experience led me to choose an RCS for this baby.

If you're worried about induction, a c/s might be the way to go. My recovery was not bad and DS is a totally happy, normal child.

Just my .02.

I have thought about asking about a scheduled c/s.  It just seems crazy to do so with no medical necessity.  

I'm pretty sure that my OB would consider a previous 2 day induction with a difficult delivery a medically valid reason for a c/s. You *can* delivery vaginally, but given the past trauma, it may not be worth it?

Again, totally my opinion. 

[babyzebra]

I'm really sorry that you had that experience last time. I would talk to your OB about your concerns to see what your options are. I definitely think that it would be reasonable for you to have a CS considering your last experience. Alternatively, your OB may have some options for you to help you deal with anxiety that you have. I hope that you can find a solution that works for you. ((Hugs))

[littleducky]

May 26, 2016 9:38:33 GMT -5 nitecheese said:

May 26, 2016 9:36:16 GMT -5 littleducky said:

I have thought about asking about a scheduled c/s.  It just seems crazy to do so with no medical necessity.  

I'm pretty sure that my OB would consider a previous 2 day induction with a difficult delivery a medically valid reason for a c/s. You *can* delivery vaginally, but given the past trauma, it may not be worth it?

Again, totally my opinion. 

Yeah, I definitely want to have a conversation with her about it next week.  

I'm very conflicted about it, because on the one hand I'd like to hope that things will be different this time around and that I'll be able to have a better birth experience.  On the other, I'm very nervous about having the same thing happen as last time.

Maybe I can work out some sort of compromise.  Attempt a vaginal delivery if I go into labor on my own before 39 weeks, but schedule a c/s rather than an induction if I don't go into labor on my own.

[mladerri]

littleducky I could see why you are anxious about this upcoming delivery. Have you talked to your ob about it? She may offer some advice or like nitecheese said maybe a scheduled cs. My labor was intense but for some reason I was more terrified of the unknown than I am this time. I think I just keep thinking I know my body can/will do this and I've done it before. Also if I think about it too much I'll scare myself. Hopefully your doctor will be supportive and provide you with some input on how to best proceed. Hang in there you're almost done!

[shoogars]

I had a difficult first birth. Perhaps not as traumatic as yours, but I had 30 excruciating hours of back labor (with constant contractions...no breaks) and still was only 1 cm.

My second birth was enjoyable. I was induced 4 days after my due date and it went super well.

No two births are the same. I hope you can find the peace you need to be able to relax (as much as you can). I think sometimes it's easy to get caught up in everything that went wrong, instead of everything that went right.

[littleducky]

May 26, 2016 9:43:08 GMT -5 babyzebra said:

I'm really sorry that you had that experience last time. I would talk to your OB about your concerns to see what your options are. I definitely think that it would be reasonable for you to have a CS considering your last experience. Alternatively, your OB may have some options for you to help you deal with anxiety that you have. I hope that you can find a solution that works for you. ((Hugs))

It's just crazy to me because until last night I seriously would have never even considered asking for a c/s.  And then this anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks and now I can't stop worrying about a difficult delivery.  

[littleducky]

I really think that if I can avoid an induction, I would like to at least try to avoid a c/s. The induction and then the cascade of things that followed because my body really wasn't ready is what terrifies me.

[littleducky]

May 26, 2016 9:44:29 GMT -5 shoogars said:

I had a difficult first birth. Perhaps not as traumatic as yours, but I had 30 excruciating hours of back labor (with constant contractions...no breaks) and still was only 1 cm.

My second birth was enjoyable. I was induced 4 days after my due date and it went super well.

No two births are the same. I hope you can find the peace you need to be able to relax (as much as you can). I think sometimes it's easy to get caught up in everything that went wrong, instead of everything that went right.

I am really hoping that I can have a better experience this time around.  I'm trying to focus on that rather than the fear.  But that is easier said than done.

[microworm]

May 26, 2016 9:43:24 GMT -5 littleducky said:

May 26, 2016 9:38:33 GMT -5 nitecheese said:

I'm pretty sure that my OB would consider a previous 2 day induction with a difficult delivery a medically valid reason for a c/s. You *can* delivery vaginally, but given the past trauma, it may not be worth it?

Again, totally my opinion. 

Yeah, I definitely want to have a conversation with her about it next week.  

I'm very conflicted about it, because on the one hand I'd like to hope that things will be different this time around and that I'll be able to have a better birth experience.  On the other, I'm very nervous about having the same thing happen as last time.

Maybe I can work out some sort of compromise.  Attempt a vaginal delivery if I go into labor on my own before 39 weeks, but schedule a c/s rather than an induction if I don't go into labor on my own.

This. I would speak about your concerns with your Dr and discuss a "birth plan" and set timelines for certain things; i.e. labor for X hours before CS, see certain progress in a certain time, etc. Or plan for a CS rather than an induction, if your cervix isn't looking favorable. For example, with my first my Dr said I had a very favorable cervix for induction in case I needed it. But just know that no 2 births are the same. You could very likely have an easy birth this time around.

[littleducky]

May 26, 2016 9:56:35 GMT -5 microworm said:

May 26, 2016 9:43:24 GMT -5 littleducky said:

Yeah, I definitely want to have a conversation with her about it next week.  

I'm very conflicted about it, because on the one hand I'd like to hope that things will be different this time around and that I'll be able to have a better birth experience.  On the other, I'm very nervous about having the same thing happen as last time.

Maybe I can work out some sort of compromise.  Attempt a vaginal delivery if I go into labor on my own before 39 weeks, but schedule a c/s rather than an induction if I don't go into labor on my own.

This. I would speak about your concerns with your Dr and discuss a "birth plan" and set timelines for certain things; i.e. labor for X hours before CS, see certain progress in a certain time, etc. Or plan for a CS rather than an induction, if your cervix isn't looking favorable. For example, with my first my Dr said I had a very favorable cervix for induction in case I needed it. But just know that no 2 births are the same. You could very likely have an easy birth this time around.

I also know that, statistically speaking, inductions are more likely to be successful if you've had a previous vaginal birth.  I'm trying to reassure myself with that.  I also remember how, after my son was born, I was very glad to have avoided a c/s.  But now I wonder why I was so glad about that.  There's no shame in choosing a different course if it is best for my health -- physical and mental.

[athn64]

Everyone has given great advice. I had a fairly traumatic birth experience as well, but in a very different way. I naturally went into labor, but stalled and had constant contractions for three days before I was finally admitted to the hospital. It was over the weekend and the on call OB never even talked to me. I switched providers this time to the MWs associated with the hospital because you cycle through all of them and I figure at least one of them will actually come in to see me if I'm there.

I've discussed all this with the MWs, and having your doctor on your side is the best possible thing you can do.

[sandandsea]

I was induced last time but had a pretty decent delivery and recovery. Honestly I just try not to think about it. There's really nothing you can do to change it and so I try not to worry and will take it as it comes and hope for the best. I like the idea of setting limits. Induction for x hours, then go to c section. And induce only if nevessary and your body seems ready - effacement and dilation.

[2dogs2kids]

I'm sorry your first experience was so awful. I would definitely speak with your dr about your concerns. Maybe they will have words or suggestions that will make you feel better.

Have you considered hiring a doula? I know it's kind of late in the game but maybe having an extra person there to support you and speak up for you might ease your anxiety? I have never really looked into it so I'm not even sure you can hire one this late in the game but it's just something to consider. I have heard wonderful things from friends who chose to use a doula.

Just remember no two pregnancies, labor, delivery, birth or babies are exactly the same.

[pdxlaurens]

May 26, 2016 9:43:24 GMT -5 littleducky said:

May 26, 2016 9:38:33 GMT -5 nitecheese said:

I'm pretty sure that my OB would consider a previous 2 day induction with a difficult delivery a medically valid reason for a c/s. You *can* delivery vaginally, but given the past trauma, it may not be worth it?

Again, totally my opinion. 

Yeah, I definitely want to have a conversation with her about it next week.  

I'm very conflicted about it, because on the one hand I'd like to hope that things will be different this time around and that I'll be able to have a better birth experience.  On the other, I'm very nervous about having the same thing happen as last time.

Maybe I can work out some sort of compromise.  Attempt a vaginal delivery if I go into labor on my own before 39 weeks, but schedule a c/s rather than an induction if I don't go into labor on my own.

Your compromise is exactly what I'm doing. Hoping for a VBAC if I go into labor before 41 weeks. Otherwise I'll have a c-section before an induction. I had a similar induction (but with a c-section as the end result) and my doctors were very supportive of my desire for a vaginal birth and my wish to skip another induction since my body didn't respond well to it.
Hugs to you, I hope your dr. is on board with your decisions and it helps with your anxiety.

[Flair Underwood]

May 26, 2016 9:43:24 GMT -5 littleducky said:

May 26, 2016 9:38:33 GMT -5 nitecheese said:

I'm pretty sure that my OB would consider a previous 2 day induction with a difficult delivery a medically valid reason for a c/s. You *can* delivery vaginally, but given the past trauma, it may not be worth it?

Again, totally my opinion. 

Yeah, I definitely want to have a conversation with her about it next week.  

I'm very conflicted about it, because on the one hand I'd like to hope that things will be different this time around and that I'll be able to have a better birth experience.  On the other, I'm very nervous about having the same thing happen as last time.

Maybe I can work out some sort of compromise.  Attempt a vaginal delivery if I go into labor on my own before 39 weeks, but schedule a c/s rather than an induction if I don't go into labor on my own.

This.

That's exactly what I did... My first birth was INCREDIBLY traumatic for me (painful, pointless induction to end up with a c-section that I could feel and then a rough recovery because of the exhaustion that came before the c-section).

I currently have a c-section scheduled for June 14 at 40+2... if my body spontaneously and naturally goes into labor, great, if not....  I refuse an induction, flat out REFUSE.  I've heard the recovery from planned c-sections are a WHOLE different ball game than a traumatic c-section after a long labor.  And you've already got one LO to take care of when you get home.

I think if you talk to them about it, you will be surprised how flexible they will be in terms of how early you have your c-section - just start those conversations ASAP.  I was told anytime after 39 weeks I could schedule an RCS.  

[txmommy14]

littleducky, I am so sorry about your terrible experience the first time around. I think I'm a bit naive because I was induced last time and had an awesome experience with no hiccups or complications, so it's definitely scary to hear about how bad it is for some people! I think it would be totally understandable to schedule a c/s and you shouldn't feel guilty about it if you want to do that-just your last experience alone is reason enough. I had a good friend that just did that because of a horrible first vaginal birth, and the doctors actually recommended it. I hope that whatever you decide, you feel peace about it!

[littleducky]

May 26, 2016 12:17:57 GMT -5 2dogs2kids said:

I'm sorry your first experience was so awful. I would definitely speak with your dr about your concerns. Maybe they will have words or suggestions that will make you feel better.

Have you considered hiring a doula? I know it's kind of late in the game but maybe having an extra person there to support you and speak up for you might ease your anxiety? I have never really looked into it so I'm not even sure you can hire one this late in the game but it's just something to consider. I have heard wonderful things from friends who chose to use a doula.

Just remember no two pregnancies, labor, delivery, birth or babies are exactly the same.

The hospital where I am delivering offers volunteer doulas/birth companions (people who aren't necessarily certified as doulas).  I had an awesome one last time.  The person I got paired with this time seems very.... young.  We talked on the phone yesterday and are meeting on Tuesday.  Hopefully I like her when I meet her in person.  It was very helpful to have a doula last time.  Just having a second person around to bring me ice, hang out with me while DH went to get something to eat, etc., was really good.

[littleducky]

Thanks, ladies. I'm definitely feeling a bit better about having a conversation with my doctor next Wednesday. She actually brought up the idea of a possible c/s due to the velamentous cord, but after talking to the MFM specialist, I was cleared to avoid a c/s. There are just a lot of compounding issues that make me uncomfortable with ALL of the available options. So I'll see what she says next week.

[Flair Underwood]

The thing that appeals to me the most about a scheduled c-section is that you avoid that entire exhaustion and stress of "what is happening?!?!" and "what if and what if and what if...." You get a decent night's sleep the night before, have child care arranged for your LO... I wish I would've scheduled my c closer to 39 weeks in retrospect.....

[nymama917]

I didn't have a super traumatic birth though because of the cord being wrapped around DD's neck I did have a rushed "pushing" part of the delivery which resulted in tearing and an episiotomy. My recovery seemed longer than most and I had a hard time sitting and walking for a good few weeks. I was not induced or anything but I did have a conversation with my doctor at my apt. yesterday just saying I was contemplating epidural or not and asking her thoughts. She said that the episiotomy rate goes down with second births because your body is already stretched. She also said that usually if women tear the second time it's much less than the first. That eased my mind a bit. I guess I just wanted to offer up that I'm starting to panic too about delivery and my experience wasn't terrible. I think it's just a natural thing. Making a game plan with your doctor next week is a great idea so that you know you have something to shoot for. My best friend had a natural labor that ended in C-section with her first. It was a bit traumatic and with the second she decided on a repeat C and was super happy with her decision and had a much much easier time with it being planned. Trust your doctor and your gut and be comfortable with the plan before anything progresses. Good luck!

[soultrane]

littleducky, everyone has given great advice already so I want to echo them all and definitely recommend talking to your doctor about your concerns so they can help you weigh the pros and cons of each scenario.

Also, my anecdote. My first labor was roughly 18 hours/almost 3 hours of pushing which resulted in an episiotomy and vacuum delivery because DS1 got stuck. I would say it was borderline traumatic, definitely wasn't what I had envisioned and made me worry what this delivery would be like. Yesterday was obviously a much different story. It's definitely tough to imagine yourself back in a difficult position, so I definitely recommend talking to your doctor about your options and coming up with a plan that considers your medical background, the issues you've experienced this pregnancy, and your anxiety surrounding this delivery. I wish you all the luck in the world though, and know that you'll rock this regardless of what you decide!

[birdhut]

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! Hopefully your doctor can provide some peace of mind. As shoogars said no two stories are the same.

I had a bad experience with DD as well. They messed the epidural up and I ended up with spinal headaches. It was terrible and no one would believe me that it wasn't just headaches. Finally the last day when I was excited to bring her home and see my mom who had traveled 10 hours they tell me they think it's probably spinal headaches and have me drink lots of caffeine since the guy who could do the blood patch was really busy that day. Within a week I was throwing up from vertigo and ended up in the hospital with my one week old. I still have pain in that area and I'm so nervous to get another but so nervous not to. I also think that's what really messed DD up stomach wise because after a week of lots of caffeine she was having terrible gas. I think it's a good idea that you're going to bring it up to the doctor. I know I need to do the same.