PgAL...and other irrational fears Check In - 5/26

[ellabee]

Okie dokie, so it's been a week since our last "I'm scurred" thread. Seems like it was a good place for venting and putting things down on paper that we're scared/stressed/anxious about. 

Again, this can be for PgALers and non. 

Tell me what's on your mind.

[ellabee]

I kind of mentioned this in the Randoms thread, but I'll kick this thread off with it too:

I'm nervous that I don't have any symptoms beyond sore boobs and a bit of cramping. I guess tiredness too, but honestly I could probably have managed to go to sleep at 8:30 even pre-pregnancy.

I'd feel better about this pregnancy if I were terribly nauseous, even though I know it's nice not to feel sick all the time. I also know in my head that it's still early. I just can't stop worrying.

[pibblemom]

**hugs** ellabee and opheliainwaders, T&P for both of you!

I've only had to deal with one loss, and it was expected because I had a lot of bleeding (thought I had a light period and didnt know i was KU). By the time I found it I was KU, it was 6w and my first beta draw only came back at 30ish and 2nd beta dropped. Today, even though I have had ZERO spotting since 9-10 dpo, I still can't help but be freaked out until they call me today with my 2nd beta results.

[pibblemom]

holy fucking shit!!

mon draw (11dpo) - 42
weds draw (13 dpo) - 139

now i'm like omfg, did I catch the twin bug??

[summergirl1211]

Great news pibblemom !

I was so nervous before my first u/s but since everything looked good I'm feeling a little better. I'm just worried about chromosomal abnormalities since I'm AMA. I'm talking with my OB about first trimester screening next week and am hoping everything will check out okay.

[heybulldog56]

Wonderful, pibblemom! Kick ass news!

[NariaDreaming]

May 26, 2016 11:03:09 GMT -5 pibblemom said:

holy fucking shit!!

mon draw (11dpo) - 42
weds draw (13 dpo) - 139

now i'm like omfg, did I catch the twin bug??

Breathe deep. My first two betas jumped pretty significanty. I did 10dpo and 13dpo, and I went from 19 to 143. They've slowed down (almost too much) and we're fairly confident we just have one on board.



AFM- trying to resist the urge to head in for another beta tomorrow. I don't need to put myself through that mental hell. Also trying to resist the urge of getting a CBE weeks estimator since I know their ranges are shit and won't tell me anything I don't already know

[summergirl1211]

NariaDreaming, that's such an awful place to be in, I'm so sorry. I would probably do the beta draw because I would drive myself insane otherwise, but you do you lady. Big hugs.

[pibblemom]

yes, after googling all the things, I now know that my knee jerk reaction is probably unfounded. I was just expecting in the 80-90 range, esp since I went a half hr early.

I'm ecstatic either way, honestly.

edit: NariaDreaming, do whatever will put your mind at ease. If its going for another beta do it. but don't rely on a CBD

[aprilz81]

I'm pleasantly surprised that I'm as calm and "okay" following our disappointing ultrasound on Tuesday. I continue to have sore boobs, tightness in my lower abdomen and had a light wave of nausea yesterday afternoon that lasted about an hour.

If we hadn't had the ultrasound on Tuesday I wouldn't be concerned at all because I feel pretty great all things considering. I'm sure as Wednesday approaches I will start to get more and more worked up.

And I'm kind of annoyed that the movement of the due date means I get to be 6 weeks pregnant for two weeks. lol At least my ticker is a pretty rainbow sprinkle...

[peaseblossom55]

I'm still worried this pregnancy sticking, and now I have twice the worry that both of these babies will be our take home double rainbow. I hope that both of these babies are chromosomally normal and we get to take both of them home. They are both loved so much even though we just found out about #2 on Monday. The high risk of multiples is so scary to me right now.

Glad you got back great betas pibblemom!

[summergirl1211]

May 26, 2016 11:34:06 GMT -5 peaseblossom55 said:

I'm still worried this pregnancy sticking, and now I have twice the worry that both of these babies will be our take home double rainbow. I hope that both of these babies are chromosomally normal and we get to take both of them home. They are both loved so much even though we just found out about #2 on Monday. The high risk of multiples is so scary to me right now.

Glad you got back great betas pibblemom !

Hugs peaseblossom55. That's a lot. I'm thinking of you and those two little nuggets!

[heybulldog56]

Hugs peaseblossom55. Double the babies and double the anxiety is tough.

[pibblemom]

peaseblossom55, **hugs** to you, I hope you get the answers you need to find the peace you need to in order to make this an enjoyable pregnancy.

[ellabee]

So I took a deep breath and ended my procrastination over calling my OBs office.

I asked for an early scan, which they were fine with. In order to figure out when that should be scheduled for (to maximize chances of seeing a heartbeat), they want at least 1 hcg value. So I'll go in for a draw tomorrow morning.

I think I'm still erring on the side of not getting a second draw. I don't want to agonize over the doubling data if I don't have to.

I also created a siggy ticker.

My PgAL brain is warring with my rational mind over whether taking these steps will "jinx" me...

[thelittleredm]

Awesome pibblemom!

[peaseblossom55]

ellabee, I have to keep reminding myself doing things like creating a ticker, buying maternity shirts, or being excited/hopeful are not going to jinx the pregnancy. It can be so hard.

[aprilz81]

peaseblossom55, my sister had surprise twins (no meds) with her second pregnancy and she had ZERO problems and a vaginal birth with both of them. She had a lot more appointments and they were inducing her at 38 weeks (she went into labor on her own on that date) but other than being "big as a house" (her words) and tired she was fine.

You hear about the horror stories, but I would guess that most twin pregnancies are pretty normal. Those don't make "good" stories. :/

[peaseblossom55]

May 26, 2016 17:52:20 GMT -5 aprilz81 said:

peaseblossom55 , my sister had surprise twins (no meds) with her second pregnancy and she had ZERO problems and a vaginal birth with both of them. She had a lot more appointments and they were inducing her at 38 weeks (she went into labor on her own on that date) but other than being "big as a house" (her words) and tired she was fine.

You hear about the horror stories, but I would guess that most twin pregnancies are pretty normal. Those don't make "good" stories. :/

Thanks.  Thinking of you and hoping at your next u/s you see the heartbeat.

[bepandnick]

((Hugs)) all around PgAL is such a tough thing to deal with.

ellabee I hate that symptoms come and go and seem to be different for everyone. Good luck for your betas tomorrow.

opheliainwaders I think I'll be peeing on sticks for awhile still. Waiting for loss milestones to pass sucks.

Yea for good betas pibblemom

I'm glad you're feeling better after your u/s summergirl1211.

FX so hard for you NariaDreaming.

I'm glad your symptoms are helping you feel ok aprilz81.

peaseblossom55 I have everything crossed for your double rainbow babies.

eameselephant I hope your symptoms are a good sign.

[bepandnick]

I'm feeling ok. I'm starting to feel more symptoms and at 6w today I have passed my loss milestones.

I keep thinking I'm jinxing myself too. Telling family early, buying stuff for DS' big boy room, buying maternity leggings etc. It's so hard to turn that part of your brain off.

[irish14]

So I sort of word vomited my worries in the appointments thread so I won't re-post all of it here... Just hoping for good news next Friday at the next scan, since resetting my due date made my brain spiral into omg is there something wrong etc.

We're hoping things go well with the scan so we can tell family in 2-3 weeks, because everyone will be in town. I'm a little nervous doing that, because there are some people in my family who would really not handle bad news well and it's still a touch early, but we've taken a don't volunteer but don't lie approach and I want to tell them before someone else spills the beans. Also I don't want to have to bother fake drinking while everyone is here. And really I'm just not into keeping it a secret anymore.

My milestone is coming up in 1 week, so hoping this week goes pretty fast. Holiday weekend should help.

ETA was going to tag a bunch of you ladies but omg nausea right now, be back later... Hugs and crossed everything for everyone...

[ashtog]

pibblemom yay great news!

aprilz81 I hope so hard that you get some calming and reassuring news on weds, and I'm glad your symptoms are making you feel calm.

ellabee I had no symptoms with my first, to the point that I went in to the drs office complaining about terrible cramping and he was like could you be pregnant and I was like.. umm nope. except I was. I was almost 8 weeks. so other than cramping, nothing. and he's 11 now. {{hugs}} disappearing faint symptoms are so frustrating because they fuck with your mind, but just know that it doesn't mean anything necessarily.

NariaDreaming everything crossed for you. If it were me I would get more betas, but that's because I am extremely type A. you do whatever makes you feel calm. or as calm as you can be.

peaseblossom55 crossing everything for your double rainbows too. I can't imagine how you are feeling. {{hugs}}

eameselephant {{hugs}} how long till your next u/s?

bepandnick yay for passing your loss milestone!

irish14 {{hugs}} fx your dates were just off, and you're in my thoughts for friday.

hugs to everyone else too

[ashtog]

AFM, I am ok. well, not really right now. I was cramping, and then I went to the bathroom and (tmi) there was the tiniest brown mucus smear.. which I know brown= old blood, but it sent me into overdrive. that was a few hours ago ad so far nothing, but now I am tempted to call the clinic and see if I can get in for a scan asap. except I'm only maybe 6w tomorrow so they wouldn't see a hb anyways. ugh.

[ashtog]

opheliainwaders I peed on something this afternoon too. you're in good company

[ellabee]

May 26, 2016 22:41:05 GMT -5 ashtog said:

AFM, I am ok. well, not really right now. I was cramping, and then I went to the bathroom and (tmi) there was the tiniest brown mucus smear.. which I know brown= old blood, but it sent me into overdrive. that was a few hours ago ad so far nothing, but now I am tempted to call the clinic and see if I can get in for a scan asap. except I'm only maybe 6w tomorrow so they wouldn't see a hb anyways. ugh.

((Hugs)). It can be such a mind trip when anything you don't expect shows up after a trip to the bathroom. Fx it was nothing at all. I hear you on wanting a scan but knowing it'd probably be too early for it to be reassuring anyway. Hang in there.

[peaseblossom55]

May 26, 2016 22:41:05 GMT -5 ashtog said:

AFM, I am ok. well, not really right now. I was cramping, and then I went to the bathroom and (tmi) there was the tiniest brown mucus smear.. which I know brown= old blood, but it sent me into overdrive. that was a few hours ago ad so far nothing, but now I am tempted to call the clinic and see if I can get in for a scan asap. except I'm only maybe 6w tomorrow so they wouldn't see a hb anyways. ugh.

Hugs I'm sorry any kin of spotting can be scary. I hope it's stopped.

[bepandnick]

((ashtog))

[pibblemom]

**hugs** ashtog I am fearing any kind of spotting so much. I hope it's nothing and it's stopped.

[pibblemom]

I'm sitting here debating going to the gym. I WANT to have an active pregnancy, but I don't want to jinx myself by telling anyone yet and that includes my crossfit coaches. I know I just have to suck it up and tell them, and modify as needed or slow down when I feel it, but so difficult