STM+ moms with older siblings in daycare

[microworm]

What is your plan for those first couple weeks?

During my maternity leave we are sending DS (2) to daycare several times a week since we have to pay to hold his spot anyway. Plus he loves the kids. Then my parents watch him a couple days a week too.

But what I'm unsure of is what to do with him that first week or so after the baby is born and DH is off work and at home to help with the newb. Should we keep DS home too? Will he feel left out if we send him off to daycare/my parent's? Should we include him in the adjustment to a family of 4? I'm kind of leaning towards keeping him home that first week. Curious what other moms are planning or have done in the past.

[sandandsea]

We are keeping DS in school full time this summer. I'll be on leave through October 1 but DH will be home the first month after baby comes. We will keep DS home right when baby comes for a couple of days and we may keep him home one day a week or something to do fun things over the summer. He will be more stimulated at school and the routine is good for him. And I know we will be getting interrupted sleep and will want/need to rest and recoup during the day and that's impossible with a 4.5 year old around.

[mladerri]

If baby comes next week ds will be home cause his school is closed next week but he will be going 5 half days a week during the summer. We're going to "try" to keep things as routine for him as possible.

[littleducky]

DS is going to be going to camp this summer through August 12 and then has a couple weeks off before school starts on August 30 when he will be home with me and the baby. I might let him miss a day or two of camp when the baby comes, but I'd like to keep his routine fairly normal.

[cattuccino]

Right now DD only goes 2 days a week and we plan to keep it that way, so her routine is the same and also so she can get some interaction/attention/playtime away from the thing taking all of mommy and daddy's attention.

That's how we see it anyway. If she was full time I might have reconsidered.

[Flair Underwood]

DD will miss a few days the week of delivery, but for the most part she'll go everyday. I'm sure some days I'll get her early or let her stay home.... But I'm looking forward to one on one time with DS and also napping whenever possible.

[babyzebra]

DS will definitely still be going to daycare full time. He might stay home for a day or 2 right when the baby is born just due to logistics, but otherwise we want to keep his routine the same. We also might take him out a day here and there for fun stuff, but we already do that sometimes.

[twobananas]

My kids will continue to go full time to school, I think keeping their routine as normal as possible is important, plus they will have a lot more fun there than hanging out at home with me while I recover/take care of the newborns!

[packerfan4life]

We're going tobplay it by ear. We definitely won't be keeping the full achedule (she usu goes 7a-5p m-f) but will probably either do shorter days or fewer days. My H is a teacher so he'll be off my whole maternity leave. And I hate how little time we get to spend with DD while we're working. I'm tempted to keep her home but we have to pay full price regardless and I'm sure we'll appreciate some toddler free time.

[pittpurple]

DD is in 3 full days a week and we plan on keeping her in as much as possible. MIL is coming for a week at the end of June and my mom for two weeks in July and we usually keep her out of daycare for some of the time when family visits (we live overseas) so if the baby comes when we have an extra set of hands around, we might keep her home an extra day or so. Otherwise I think it will be good for her to keep her schedule consistent and have the time with her friends.

[bighair12]

The week of delivery DD1 did a few full time days and then was with my MIL. This next week even with MH home she will be in school full time. Since we are home with a preemie and feedings take forever it will be good for her to be at school with stability.

[microworm]

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm keeping DS home with me since I'll be home on maternity leave. I almost felt ashamed telling them no. Looks like what I am doing is quite common!

We'll just play it by ear around delivery time. It just depends what day I have the baby. If it's over a weekend we will probably send him the following week as usual. If it's during the week then we might keep him home a couple days just due to logistics.

[csat]

DH will be taking off a week or so initially and then take off days here and there to be here with me and the baby and I will be on leave until late August. DS will continue his normal routine at preschool (he's full time) during that time.

Depending on how things are going I plan on picking him up early some days and keeping him home some days through the summer but I think especially in the first month he'll go in pretty much as normal so that DH and I can deal with the baby, try to rest when at all possible and be more attentive and patient with DS when he's here, taking into account Lots of sleep deprivation! I don't think there's a right or wrong approach though, whatever works best.

[happyday]

Dd's school is out for the summer. I wish I could still send her five days a week. I think the inconsistency will be difficult on her - so no shame in those of you using childcare! I think it's an excellent option, and one I wish we had. Thankfully, DH will be home to help entertain dd1 as we transition to a family of 4

[regal]

DS1 will be in school until the end of June and then day camp for a month. DS2 will be in daycare full time and then we aren't sure. I'm looking for a part time preschool closer to home.

[manybellsdown]

I, too, plan to keep the routine as much the same as possible.

I just read the May 16 thread from moms of 2 babes, on balancing time with them both in this newborn stage, and got seriously all the feels.

[lakecountrygal]

DS continued daycare as normal last week even though DD had just been born and we were home. DS thrives on routine and needed it! Starting this week he will go to daycare 3 half days in the morning to keep some semblance of routine and to hold his full time slot until I go back to work at the end of August.

[2dogs2kids]

DS goes full time right now. After baby is born we will be cutting back to part time (either 2-3 full days or 5 half days). While I am in the hospital I am requesting that whoever takes care of him bring him to daycare. I want to keep his schedule/routine as normal as possible. At some point after that we will change him to part time and possibly change centers to some where closer to home.