~PgAL/PAIF Check In 5/30~

[littlelion]

Welcome! This is a weekly check in for those of us who are pregnant after loss and/or infertility. This check in is a safe place to share all things that come with being PgAL and/or PAIF, and to give support to others.

If there is anything in your history that is inaccurate or you would like edited, please tag or PM me. I also ordered the tags by EDD, if your due date changes, just let me know!

***Loss warnings are not necessary here.***

PAIF Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/57254/welcome-paif-read-before-posting

PgAL Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/1034/pgal-mantras

~~~If You’re Just Joining in This Week~~~

What is your loss and/or IF history?

What is your EDD?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How far along are you?

How are you doing physically? Emotionally?

Any appointments or milestones this week?

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy?

mrswillie PgAL / PAIF: 2 M/C, Clomid + TI, DS1 born/2 IUI's = 1 M/C and 1 ectopic, IVF#1 = freeze all, FET#1 = DS2 born/FET#2 / EDD: 12/3/16
trufflefries PgAL / PAIF: TTC for 2 years / Dx: PCOS / Tx: Metformin / Healthy pregnancy, DD born 11/13 / MMC 10/15 @10w5d / EDD: 12/4/16
requiressnacks PgAL / PAIF: TTC since October 2014 / Dx: Unexplained IF / IUI ended in MMC @ 8 weeks / 3rd IUI EDD: 12/5/16
babycowbell PAIF: First BFP on cycle 33 with IVF w/ ICSI / Dx: Unexplained IF, now assumed egg quality issues / EDD: 12/5/16
Becca PAIF: TTC since June 2014 / Dx: Unexplained IF / IUI #3 / EDD 12/6/16
mommytoava PgAL: Daughter passed away suddenly about 20 months ago in her sleep at age 3 ½ / EDD 12/6/16
Winnifred PgAL/PAIF: 2 previous IVF transfers ended in m/c (one blighted ovum in February and one c/p in September of last year). EDD 12-11-16
hmr11913 PgAL: MMC @ 10 weeks / Dx Low Progesterone / Rainbow born 6/15 / EDD 12/13/16
littlelion PgAL: MC #1 @ 9wks 12/12 / #2 @ 6wks 12/13 / #3 @ 9wks 3/14 / #4 @ 9wks 9/15 / #5 ectopic @6wks 11/15 / Rainbow baby #1 12/1/14 / EDD: 12/15/16
lastnamewithheld PAIF: TTC since 2012 / H has MFI and I have PCOS / IVF EDD: 12/17/16
graychloham PgAL: TTC since August 2014 / MC @ 12 weeks in 2015 / EDD 12/17/16
legalbeagle PgAL: MMC @ 8 weeks in December / One DS who is 3.5 / EDD: 12/23/16
crimpgirl PgAL: MMC @ 8 weeks in September 2014 / CP February 2016 / EDD 12/23/16
WineNChocolate PgAL: MC Feb 2014 / Feb 2016 / EDD: 12/25/16
sdgal PAIF: TTC since November 2014 / Dx: Unexplained IF / Clomid + IUI # 3 / EDD 12/25/16
@cahistoryteacher PgAL / PAIF: TTC for 2+ years / 6 IUIs / MC @ 7 weeks / EDD: 12/25/16
W PAIF: TTC for 31 months / Dx: Unexplained IF / EDD: 12/26/16
emilie PAIF: NTNP since March 2014 / TTC since June 2014 / Tx: polyp removals and 4 IUIs / EDD: 12/26
Sunny75 PAIF: TTC for 15 months / Dx: Unicornuate Uterus / Two failed IUIs / Hysteroscopy to remove a cyst / BFP on first natural cycle after that! / EDD: 12/28/16

[requiressnacks]

Thanks for the checkin littlelion!

How far along are you? 13 weeks

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? Pretty great

Any appointments or milestones this week? None. Had a good NT scan last week. Now nothing until week 16.

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? Mostly just the power of positive thinking. If I felt myself go to a dark place, I would just repeat the PGaL mantras. And TCF and my husband have been amazing too!

[WineNChocolate]

How far along? 10w 1d

Physically and emotionally? I am doing OK..I kind of psych myself out with the not having a ton of symptoms other than big boobs and the occasional I think I might throw up moment. But I am taking it that time is just progressing. I hope that my NT scan will show a Lil squish. growing.

Milestones? Appointments? No not till June 20. As of right now I am just waiting.."patiently".

Who or what has kept you positive thru pregnancy? You guys duhhhh . And well my friend Judith that has had 3 MC before getting preggers. She is due in July. We bring each other back to reality.

[littlelion]

How far along are you? 11w+4d

How are you doing? Physically ok. Nausea is infrequent nowadays. I still need a middle of the day nap though. Emotionally I had a rough night. Yesterday evening I started feeling light cramping and immediately started to worry. Esp after I fell asleep and got woken up by a bad cramp that tightened my stomach. ***TMI*** I felt like maybe I ate something bad but each time I'd go to the bathroom I wouldn't let myself push. Except for my ectopic, all my MC were natural. I'd feel cramps, go to the bathroom and baby would slip out. It sucks to be scared of a bm. And that's all it was. I even scared dh last night. Sigh. All is good. I just needed to share/vent.

Any appointments or milestones this week? Frid 06-03 NT scan

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? Def this place. No one IRL knows how it feels to struggle with pregnancies. And here people understand and offer good advice. I also look at my son and tell myself I did it once before it can happen again.

[emilie]

How far along are you? 10 weeks today!

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? Pretty good. Feeling less tired and nauseous, and preparing myself to deal with the mental mind games of weight gain, even though I know it's obviously for a good cause.

Any appointments or milestones this week? I will be doing a blood draw for NIPT this week, but I guess it takes a couple weeks for results to come back. A little nervous!

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? H and my siblings. No one else knows yet.

[mommytoava]

How far along are you? 12w6d

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? physically okay, still tired most days and nauseous. Found some pregnancy pops today to help with the nausea. Mentally. drained. Mentally, just really emotionally drained.

Any appointments or milestones this week? I have an ultrasound and ob appointment on Wednesday

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? Thinking about the baby and trying to stay as calm and as happy as I can for her.

[Sunny75]

How far along are you? 9w 5d

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? Physically, I’m doing great! As long as I stay away from meat or spicy food I haven’t even really had any nausea recently.

I’m doing pretty good emotionally too. My ultrasound last week went well, baby measuring on track with a good heartbeat! I was released from my RE which was exciting but I have mixed feelings about going back to my OB-gyn. Last time I talked to her she was telling me that I have a unicornuate uterus and she just had such a pessimistic outlook about my diagnosis. She spent most of the conversation talking about how hard it would be for me to get pregnant and how I would such a high risk of miscarriage. It was probably the worst I have ever felt on our TTC journey. I’m hoping now that I’m pregnant maybe she’ll have a more optimistic outlook!

Any appointments or milestones this week? None this week. First appointment with my OB next week.

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? Definitely my H, he’s a positive person in general and he has a way saying just the right thing to calm my fears!

[Deleted]

How far along are you? 10 weeks

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? Physically I am so done with 1st trimester stuff. The fatigue and nausea are the worst part, but close behind is the acne. My chin and then the nape of my neck and hairline are just awful. Emotionally, I just want our Thursday appointment to get here faster. I'm hoping all is well, I certainly have enough symptoms to make me think it is, but it's been over a month since we've seen anyone so I'm nervous.

Any appointments or milestones this week? First OB appointment on Thursday.

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? DH and this board for sure. DH REALLY wants to figure out how we're going to tell people, but I don't want to buy anything yet. We were at Hallmark yesterday and he saw several things that he really liked.

[Becca]

Thank you for the check in littlelion,

How far along are you? 12w6d

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? Other than needing naps every day I'm feeling much better

Any appointments or milestones this week? I had my NT scan and first OB appointment last week, so nothing else until the end of June

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? DH has been my rock. He is super positive lately which has helped a lot.

[lastnamewithheld]

How far along are you? 11w3d

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? physically I feel fat. Emotionally I feel exceptionally fat and gross.

Any appointments or milestones this week? not THIS week, but next week I have my NT scan! AAAHHH YAY!

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? You guys, and a couple people IRL who don't necessarily "get it" but they at least listen to my irrational fears.

[legalbeagle]

How far along are you? 10 weeks 4 days

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? Physically much better. Not as exhausted in the evening. Emotionally was doing great but I have an appointment today and that's making me nervous.

Any appointments or milestones this week?
US and bloodwork for Materniti21. If you guys can spare happy, healthy baby thoughts around 1:15 that would be awesome.

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy?
This board. 1000% And a few IRL friends who have gone through losses. I send them texts or emails with my downer thoughts and they tell me they felt the same way. It helps.

and hugs littlelion. I get it. My loss was a MMC so I'm not worried about bleeding I just get crazy anxiety around appointments. But how awful that you felt that way.

[requiressnacks]

GL this afternoon, legalbeagle!!! Do you know how long the bloodwork will take? Are you finding out the sex?

[mrswillie]

How far along are you? 13w3d

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? I've been feeling pretty ok this past week, so I thought I'd skip the Diclegis last night for a few days to see if I could stop it. Bad idea! I cleaned out the LO's toys, got rid of some of all my old clothes, a bunch of other cleaning. I suddenly had all this energy to do a bunch of stuff so took advantage of it. Hopefully I still have some next weekend to do some yard work.

Any appointments or milestones this week? Thursday. My first appointment with no u/s. I won't get to see baby again until 20 weeks now. Sad.


Also, we told DS1 this weekend. DS2 is too little. He's soooo excited. He said he wants 2... a baby brother and a baby sister. He already has a baby brother, so he is adamant that there is a baby sister in mommy's belly. He said he would be happy if he gets a baby sister, but sad if he gets a baby brother. Uh oh! We explained that we get what we get and he'll love either. Stay tuned!

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? Knowing that this is third one where I've made it this far. My OB knowing my history and seeing me for extra appointments and fitting me into the schedule to see him. And TCF of course!

[mrswillie]

legalbeagle Good luck this afternoon!
Sunny75 If you don't feel comfortable with your OB after your initial appointment, I'd look for a new one even if it's a different one at the same practice. You definitely want to be comfortable with your OB. I would go absolutely crazy if I didn't love mine.

[legalbeagle]

requiressnacks, I think we're going to. I really wanted it to be a surprise with our last pregnancy (we found out at 16 weeks with DS) but DH wants to find out and I'm a little like I just want a healthy baby so if he wants to find out who cares at this point. And a friend yesterday said it made it a little easier to explain to her first child that she would be having a little brother instead of brother or sister. Which kind of makes sense. I think two weeks??

[requiressnacks]

May 31, 2016 9:54:38 GMT -5 legalbeagle said:

requiressnacks , I think we're going to. I really wanted it to be a surprise with our last pregnancy (we found out at 16 weeks with DS) but DH wants to find out and I'm a little like I just want a healthy baby so if he wants to find out who cares at this point. And a friend yesterday said it made it a little easier to explain to her first child that she would be having a little brother instead of brother or sister. Which kind of makes sense. I think two weeks??

That makes sense! So exciting! I would have probably been team green if this was a singleton, but with twins I absolutely need to know what we're dealing with so I can prepare. haha.

[legalbeagle]

May 31, 2016 10:00:47 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

May 31, 2016 9:54:38 GMT -5 legalbeagle said:

requiressnacks , I think we're going to. I really wanted it to be a surprise with our last pregnancy (we found out at 16 weeks with DS) but DH wants to find out and I'm a little like I just want a healthy baby so if he wants to find out who cares at this point. And a friend yesterday said it made it a little easier to explain to her first child that she would be having a little brother instead of brother or sister. Which kind of makes sense. I think two weeks??

That makes sense! So exciting! I would have probably been team green if this was a singleton, but with twins I absolutely need to know what we're dealing with so I can prepare. haha.

Yes totally!  Btw have you signed up for Lucy's List?  I think they have a special twin section now and friends of mine who are having twins said it is very helpful for gear recommendations and stuff.  Maybe you could see if there are local twin groups that would have stuff you can buy or moms who would loan you things?  I'm sure you've thought about this stuff but twins are on my mind now with my friend's pregnancy.

[lastnamewithheld]

good luck today legalbeagle! Hope all goes well!

[sdgal]

How far along are you? 10 weeks 2 days

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? I feel like I'm feeling pretty good, but at my appointment Friday, my blood pressure was really high before the appointment. But they redid it after we got to see the squish on ultrasound and it was back to normal. Thank goodness.

Any appointments or milestones this week? NIPT bloodwork and early glucose test

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? Talking it out with you guys. DH is always positive while I'm the negative "what if" person. And I have 2 close friends due this summer that were really supportive during our IF treatments so I told them early.

[littlelion]

lastnamewithheld, I'm beginning to feel like a blob myself.  I feel like the loose dresses and leggings, while comfy, just have my belly hang out and about. It's one thing to feel like that farther along in pregnancy but I'm still in 1st tri! 

[lastnamewithheld]

littlelion, I'm genuinely surprised at how much this is messing with my mind. I'm hoping that going off the estrogen/progesterone will help me a.) have more energy and b.) make me feel less hungry so I'm not eating every damn thing. Who knows. I'm up 25lbs already since February. It hurts my brain.

[littlelion]

May 31, 2016 17:17:40 GMT -5 lastnamewithheld said:

littlelion, I'm genuinely surprised at how much this is messing with my mind. I'm hoping that going off the estrogen/progesterone will help me a.) have more energy and b.) make me feel less hungry so I'm not eating every damn thing. Who knows. I'm up 25lbs already since February. It hurts my brain.

Big hugs, that would mess with me too. I hope stopping those meds helps!

[Winnifred]

littlelion, hugs lady! Glad to hear that everything is ok.

Sunny75, is it ok that I hate your OB? That sucks that she made you feel so unsure of your ability to carry a child. Hopefully she's changed her tune!

lastnamewithheld, I'm right there with you. One moment I'm excited that I'm starting to stick out, and then I'm completely blindsided when DH mentions that he can see I'm getting larger. And then he feels awful for mentioning it... I'm simultaneously excited to start showing and also still sensitive about it. I've always been anxious about my midsection anyway.

How far along are you? 12 + 5 - how is that possible?!?

How are you doing physically? Emotionally? I'm doing pretty great actually, finally starting to have a bit of a bump. We found out that we're low risk for chromosomal abnormalities and that we're having a girl - so I've been more excited this week than at any other point so far. I can finally visualize it, although I'm still slightly apprehensive to 100% believe that everything will be ok.

Any appointments or milestones this week? Nothing other than getting our test results back a couple of days ago.

QOTW: What (or who) has helped you remain positive thru this pregnancy? I feel like I've mentioned it already a 1,000 times but getting the doppler has been a huge help for me. I'm checking in on her about twice a week and I always feel so much better after hearing the heartbeat.

[requiressnacks]

Congrats on a healthy baby girl, Winnifred!

[legalbeagle]

Can you guys talk me off the ledge? I had my US on Tuesday (abdominal) and there was a baby with a heartbeat but doc didn't measure and he said something like we don't need to measure clearly it has grown and heartbeat looks to be above 100. It was really fast and we didn't see baby move (at least I don't think so). I've been comparing the pic to other 10 weekish ultrasound pics online and DS's US pics from the same time and it just looks different -- like more indistinct and blobby and less black space around the baby -- the other ones look more squished in there and human-like. I confess he used a different machine this time and I can't remember if last time it was transvaginal or abdominal. My DH thinks I am being a TOTAL NUTJOB. He's like um, he's a doctor and has seen thousands of these if he thought anything was weird he would have said something. I know there are women who go through whole pregnancies with two ultrasounds total, but now I can't help but worry. I have my NT scan in 10 days and there really isn't any option to wait until then I know but I had to get my worries out.

[requiressnacks]

So many hugs, legalbeagle. I know how hard it can be to wait in between appointments. And it doesn't help when there's an entire interweb full of US pics. I have no advice, but I hope you can find comfort in the fact that there was a tiny, beating heart!

My anecdote to share: I went to the OB at 8w4d and had an ultrasound (vaginal) and she did it super quickly and didn't measure the length or the HB. She basically said - "hey, baby is there! It's heart is beating. Cool." I was freaked out because the RE was so meticulous in giving me all the measurements, etc. The OB was all casual about it.

The good thing is at the NT scan, you will get ALL THE DATA. Try to keep calm until then....I know, so much easier said than done.

[littlelion]

legalbeagle, Oh, I know how that feels.  Out of all my pregnancies both my son and this one have been the blobbiest of ultrasounds. Esp at the early stages (even with transvaginal wand). During most of the pregnancy, DS looked less babyish and more alien. Very unsettling esp since I had some pretty cute gummy babies before him.  But based on my experiences, it means nothing.  Try to stay calm until your next appt. Big hugs lady. 

[legalbeagle]

requiressnacks, littlelion, thank you both! That helps a lot. I swear I'm the only one that walks out of a good US feeling weird rather than better.

[emilie]

Hugs legalbeagle. I think some OBs have a "been there done that" attitude which is not super helpful to the patients for whom, well, this stuff is pretty exciting and important. But yeah, from what I understand you will get a super detailed US at the NT scan, and I would not be afraid to ask questions!