Failed Induction

[modernfairytale8709]

I'm freshly home from the hospital from a 40 hour failed induction.

Due to mild preeclampsia, I was sent in at 6 AM on Thursday morning at 37+5, and they inserted the first dose of misoprostol at 11. Second dose orally at 4, and then I got to sleep overnight to start pitocin in the morning.
At 6 AM, I got toast and cereal, then my midwife came in to check me and see if I'd made any progress. I was dilated to 1 cm and about 60% effaced. Definitely not a very favorable cervix, but enough that my midwife thought there was a chance. She inserted the Foley bulb to help manually dilate me, and started pit at 7. I couldn't stand more than 2 hours with the bulb, so they removed it at 9.
I very nearly passed out from that experience, apparently pulling the bulb out overstimulated the nerve endings in my cervix.
12 hours of pitocin, increased to maximum dose after 5 hours, and I was contracting like a beast, but my cervix was still less than 2 and about 70% effaced. My midwife advised pulling the plug and going home. After all that, I was so exhausted I was ready for anything. We came home last night, and I slept like the dead.

I'm having a really hard time with my experience. I never imagined going in that I wouldn't come home with an outside baby. I'm so drained. And I feel like my body has failed at doing something pretty basic, but logically I know that I just wasn't ready. I feel mildly traumatized by the whole experience.

The good news is, after being monitored and tested at the hospital, my pre-e was downgraded to mild gestational hypertension. The protein levels in my urine actually decreased by half, and I still had some blood pressure spikes, but only during extreme circumstances. I was mostly hanging in the 117/70 range.

So, I'm thankful for a healthy inside baby, and for my own health. But I'm bitterly disappointed in the entire experience, and now I have a fear that my body won't progress when we try this again. It's very emotionally taxing. I just need some time to rebuild my confidence I think.

[aggiebug]

oh wow I am so incredibly sorry you had an awful experience. I can't imagine going into the hospital, a place you didn't want to go, expecting to bring home your baby and not.

So many hugs.

Here's hoping your body decides when it is ready and you get to have the type of experience you had hoped.

Are you ok to go to the birth center at this point?

[misshart00]

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the emotional toll that takes.

Are you wanting to go pain med free?

[misshart00]

aggiebug is much better at the words than me. I want to second everything she said.

[modernfairytale8709]

Thank you aggiebug
I'm hoping at this point, with my downgraded diagnosis, they'll just monitor me and allow me to labor spontaneously. I don't know if I can mentally prepare for another induction.
Sadly, I don't think they'll be comfortable with an out of hospital birth. I told DH last night that I'd rather have the baby home in the bathtub than go back to the hospital. But, I'm prepared to do what I need to do to get her here safely, even a second induction attempt if the need should arise.
I do plan on declining an induction until there is a definite change in my cervix. Unless there's actual danger, I won't consent to be induced again until after 39 weeks. The hospital won't section a baby unless there's actual danger until 39 weeks anyway.

[lotsofdotts]

I'm so sorry. I've gone through pitocin before and it is a beast. I feel for anyone who has to have it. I hope that the next go round will go easier and smoother for you. Rest up!

[toadandbuggie]

Sorry to hear about your experience! That sounds very emotionally taxing. Stay strong. I'm glad baby is safe & happy in there.

[chicagojackie]

I'm so sorry! Hang in there

[xoxolicia]

I'm so sorry. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

[allonsy221b]

I'm so sorry, how frustrating! I understand your hesitation. I didn't think you could go home after a failed induction, I thought that was an automatic c/s. My state has a really high c/s rate though, no birthing centers, not very birth friendly. I hope you progress on your own and get to hold your sweet baby soon with no unwanted interventions!

[firelizard8367]

That sounds miserable, very sorry you had to go through that! Just want to reassure you that your LO will make their appearance when they are good and ready, they will be happy and healthy too!

[kcrosem]

I am so sorry you had to go through that. Good luck for spontaneous labor!!

[boxerrrmama85]

I'm so sorry. What an ordeal! Thinking of you and hoping that you get the labor and delivery you are wanting! Sending good vibes to you and your cervix get some rest! Glad your babe is happy and healthy!

[lilyelayne]

So sorry you had that experience. It sounds absolutely horrible. Hopefully since they've downgraded you from pre-e, your next experience will be spontaneous when your body & your LO are ready. T&Ps for you as you recover from this trauma.

[kcwnc]

Yikes! I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. It definitely sounds like you and your LO weren't ready. Rest and relax dear.

[mands1125]

Sorry to hear this! Lots of hugs

[dramacat]

sorry you had such a rough experience. Hopefully you'll get to start labor spontaneously. Glad your baby is still healthy.

[mishka29]

I'm sorry you had such an awful experience! That is great news about the pre-e though. Hopefully there will be no more planned inductions or at least until there is some progress. Hugs!

[calliope]

How frustrating/disappointing! Hopefully everything continues a lot easier, and with less stress. Catch up on as much rest as you can!

[seamonster]

Sorry you had such a rough experience. That's great news about the pre-e though. Glad you and LO are doing ok.

[rmsteele]

Glad you and LO are healthy, so sorry that you had to go through that. T&Ps that when LO is ready, your labor goes much more smoothly.

[gator26]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Glad you and baby are both healthy, and fingers crossed that things go more smoothly on your delivery day.

[beth1212]

I'm sorry that you went through that! Would it help to think that, instead of your body failing to deliver, it was smarter than the doctors and knew that LO needed more time to cook, and your body succeeded in keeping LO baking despite being encouraged to do otherwise? Just a thought. I'm so glad that your pre-e was "downgraded"! I hope that things go more smoothly the next time you go to the hospital.

[FlutterOfYoshis]

Feb 7, 2015 17:58:23 GMT -5 allonsy221b said:

I'm so sorry, how frustrating! I understand your hesitation.I didn't think you could go home after a failed induction, I thought that was an automatic c/s. My state has a really high c/s rate though, no birthing centers, not very birth friendly. I hope you progress on your own and get to hold your sweet baby soon with no unwanted interventions!

This. I hope you're able to get some good rest before any kind of round two!

[Deleted]

So sorry you had to go through this. Glad you and LO are doing okay though. Fingers crossed you go into natural labor when LO is ready and the pre-e doesn't return.

[cogdis]

I'm sorry to hear about that horrible experience! I sincerely hope your baby comes smoothly when you're next ready. You deserve it! Also, you didn't fail; the medical decisions were obviously incorrect for your body. Medicine isn't a perfect science. I'm so sorry you went through that and I hope your confidence in yourself and your body's incredible abilities is built up soon. Hugs!

[Mom2Ms]

Oh no! I've never heard of a failed induction. I'm so sorry. Don't let that experience bring you down. You're going to have a wonderful birth experience & story when your body & baby are ready! Glad to hear that the preeclampsia has been downgraded. Chin up momma!

[WittyLittle]

Hey modernfairytale8709, just wanted to ask how you are doing now? Have you recovered a bit? Sorry again that the induction didn't work. Your body was strong enough to battle the outside influence AND downgrade the pre-e simultaneously, that's a pretty amazing thing in itself. Soon you'll have LO in your arms and it will all have been worth it! Hang in there!

[modernfairytale8709]

Feb 10, 2015 5:58:00 GMT -5 WittyLittle said:

Hey modernfairytale8709, just wanted to ask how you are doing now? Have you recovered a bit? Sorry again that the induction didn't work. Your body was strong enough to battle the outside influence AND downgrade the pre-e simultaneously, that's a pretty amazing thing in itself. Soon you'll have LO in your arms and it will all have been worth it! Hang in there!

I am in a much better place with everything now. I had a follow up appointment yesterday, and everything is looking good.

They're repeating the labs they did in the hospital to confirm my pre-e is still downgraded, as my blood pressure was slightly elevated at the beginning of the appointment, but completely normal at the end. If the labs come back normal, and the tracking I do at home shows normal BPs, I may even be able to deliver at the birth center. We'll make that call on delivery day, they'll check my BP when I come in and monitor it for a time. If it's elevated, we'll do a nonemergency transfer to the hospital. At this point, I'm looking at the whole experience as a second chance to get the birth I wanted.
They're not talking about induction again, and I would so much rather labor on my own at home for as long as possible before I go in to L&D. I'll be that woman who gives birth in the elevator