Parenting Check-In may 31

[mahler5]

How is everyone doing? Any milestones, challenged, wins, funny stories?

QOTW: name something that is going well with parenting, or something you feel like you and your kiddos do a really good job at. Optional, name something you feel you need to work on or improve related to parenting.

[mahler5]

C is 2 and some change

We didn't do a whole lot this weekend since I'm so pregnant. Yesterday I did take C to this massive pool. They have a huge little kid area, sand area, and small playground. It was ridiculous, plus it was totally packed. We me my friend and her 3 year old and 3 month old. We took turns watching the baby and watching the older kiddos. At one point C through a huge tantrum and did not want to go to the sand area with the other kid. She kept running away and I was literally chasing her in my too tight swimsuit, 8 1/2 months pregnant in front of loads of people. I literally had to call my friend over for a second. 5 minutes later c then wanted to go to the sand area! It's making me a little worried about handling two at the same time all the time. But at least one won't be mobile for awhile.

I also worry because L is such a homebody, so a lot of times it's hard to get her to go out and do stuff. I'm pretty used to it but logistically it will be so much easier to get out with 2 kids when you have two parents.

Potty training is still generally good. We still are rarely pooping in the potty but peeing regularly.

I do feel like I'm totally not ready to handle 2 at same time. And I've been disciplining c less overall and probably spoiling her some because I feel guilty. Which could make transition to two harder for her. Idk. Anyone have any tips that have 2 kiddos?

We have gotten her a gift from the baby and she has something to give the baby too. But I'm more worried about dealing with day-to-day jealousy and logistical stuff! L will have 2 weeks off at least and my mom is coming up for almost a week after that. Plus, L's parents live close.

QOTW: I feel like C is in a pretty good routine most of the time. I feel like We are good at not overscheduling her. I think it's something I took for granted but I have a friend that shares custody with her ex and has had a lot of change in her life with jobs etc, and I think it can stress her kid out sometimes. I also think I'm good at letting her do her own thing and play how she wants to. L is not and it sort of drives me nuts sometimes!

I need to work on discipline more. Overall I've been better but I've been too easy on her lately, partly because of guilt with new baby and partly because I am exhausted in last of 3rd tri and just don't want to spend the energy! L is better at discipline generally but is more likely to raise her voice and get flustered.

[2brides]

The boys are 10y.

2.5 more weeks of school. I think I can..I think I can... Of course, summer isn't much more relaxing with camp, swim team, etc. Gray starts swim team today. He is excited. It seems like a very social activity for the parents, which is going to stress L's introverted self out. I will enjoy it as I miss having people to hang out with. But it seems crazy time consuming - practice M-Th and a swim party every Friday at the pool plus swim meets 7a-12p on Saturdays. Holy Moly.

QOTD: I think we've always been good about scheduling and making sure the kids got adequate rest. We lived and died by their schedule for years - and it has only been the last 6m or so we don't make sure they are in bed by 9 on the weekends (we've been lax and letting them go to 10ish.)I think we do a good job of holding them accountable for their actions and following through on consequences. I think we do a good job talking TO the kids vs AT the kids.

I know I could work on my patience - not raising my voice and flipping out. It tends to get the results, but not how I want to parent.

[sdfonz619]

I feel like it has been forever since I've posted here. M is 8.5 months old and is currently determined to master crawling. She has an army crawl going on right now and man she is fast! We have gone through our place to baby proof as much as we can and are constantly looking for new ways to challenge her. Food wise, she has been loving the purees I have been making using a variety of foods instead of just one and she is showing more interest in trying whole foods as well. We love those mesh feeders which have made long car rides, road trips and even just midday snacks so much easier. Tangerines (which I loved pregnant), baby kale and roasted beets seem to be a favorite right now!

Afm, still doing what we can to prepare for moving but we have shifted gears and are now looking at the PNW instead of TX. MW will be gone most of the summer with the military. It is so much harder now that we have M, even just short deployments seem as though they will last forever. I am so proud of everything she does though and so am looking at creative ways we can take the edge off missing each other. So far, I have created picture books for her time lining our lives from when we met until now, and plan on continue to create a new one for her to take on every trip.

QOTW: I think we are doing really well when it comes to M's palette. Giving her different types of food, healthy food being our priority and hopefully setting her up for success with good eating habits. The thing I feel like we need to work on would definitely be sleep training. Unless M happens to fall asleep on her own, I am still nursing and/or we are rocking her to sleep. She is starting to sleep longer periods (6-7 hours) with only one wake up MOTN which makes it less of an issue, but my main concern is her not being able to fall asleep on her own if we put her in her crib awake.

[kona]

2brides good luck with the swim team. I swam competitively from age 7-18 and it was a HUGE time commitment 5 am practices most of my high school years, year round. Now that I'm a parent I'm not sure I want my kids to swim!

sdfonz619 good luck with the sleeping. O is 22 months and we still have to rock her to sleep very nap/night. I hope you have much better luck!

[cetcar]

M turned 4 months on 5/21.

She had her 4 month appointment last week and it went well! She's 13lbs 15oz (50%) and 25.5" tall (90%). She seemed to get over her shots very quickly.

She did really great on our trip and flights. She's so social loves watching and interacting with people. Still smiling up a storm. She 'danced' in her car seat during my niece's whole graduation dinner. It was adorable but I think she tuckered herself out. She slept a lot the next day.

At night we are still swaddling but have started to leave her arms out during her naps during the day. For the last few weeks she's been sleeping great through the night so we are hesitant to change anything but realize we can't swaddle her forever. She's still sleeping in our room. Even though her bedroom isn't far at all, it feels far away when you're used to her sleeping in her pack n play next to your bed.

M has started to cough interactively on her changing mat. She will fake cough then will smile when you fake cough back at her. It's fairly silly.

She's getting really good at pushing her head up and holding it during tummy time. She will roll over (front to back) but still doesn't do it a ton. She's also making motions to try and sit up when laying down. Poor girl, she still has a long way to go.

I think we're fairly good at reading her signals- hungry vs. tired. Also, we try and interact and play with her (she loves it) but also give her time to play on her own and observe the world. We didn't give her a bottle for like 6 weeks so we're starting to try and get her to accept it again. After just screaming at the bottle Sunday evening and yesterday, we eventually got her to drink 3 ounces yesterday. Going to keep trying this week since it's really nice to know she will take it. Gives us some more flexibility. Plus, we have a ton of pumped milk in the freezer.

[karlamo]

mahler5

I'm going to give you the good, bad, and ugly of a toddler and new baby. You know how to take care of a baby and you know how to care for a toddler, so you just need to learn how to put those two things together.

C is going to have a hard time adjusting to not having 1:1 attention. It's just the way it is. With R we did the whole new toys/gifts idea and he could have cared less. The poor kid just wanted us and his old life back. There were many, many times I cried because I was so overwhelmed with being alone with 2 kids. You're breast feeding right? That was challenging at first. People at my play group always remarked at how impressed they were with me bf while standing/walking around. I told them if I couldn't do this, then L would never eat! When you're BF and chasing a toddler it must be on the go food.

Tips to help those first few months: I think when you're home alone all day with both kids it's all about making it through the day.


Get as many baby devices and put them all over your house. Many times I literally had to plop L down to tend to R in a flash.

I struggled and still do at times, with remembering R is 2. He was only 18 months when we brought L home. I expected him to act more mature than he was capable of. I needed to remind myself to be patient with him. He's a toddler. 'Nough said.

When ever L was asleep I tried to give R as much 1:1 time as I could. That way when I needed to be with L, I could ease the guilt of not being with R.

I tried to not say things like, L needs me to.... Or you need to be patient, I'm with L now. He needs me. I didn't want R to feel like he's second best or blame L for taking me away from him. I even went as far to say to L, "R needs me right now, please be patient". Of course a newborn comes first 99% of the time but I tried to give R the impression that he came first too.

Don't leave C alone with the new baby for even a second. Toddlers are curious and they will try to feed the baby stuff or hand them toys that are choking hazards. R even hits L at times and plays rough. I would take 1 of them with me to the bathroom when I needed to go.

Always buckle baby into the device they're in. R tried picking up L. Scary. Scary. Also we struggled with getting tummy time in cause toddlers like to jump on babies.

I got my coffee and R's sippy cup and breakfast ready the night before so when we woke up all I needed to do was hand him stuff. Not make it.

I made sure each floor of my house was stocked with diapers, wipes, change of clothes. Ain't no mom got time to be running upstairs 50 times a day to get stuff.

You can start drinking at 3. It's permitted for mothers of toddlers with newborns.

I hope I'm not freaking you out. I am being genuine when I say I would do this all over again in a heartbeat. It took me 3 months to find my parenting two groove. I made mistakes, I yelled at R, L didn't get the same newborn experience as R got but 9 months out, they adore each other. They're fast becoming the others best friend.

[mahler5]

Jun 1, 2016 6:29:59 GMT -5 karlamo said:

mahler5

I'm going to give you the good, bad, and ugly of a toddler and new baby. You know how to take care of a baby and you know how to care for a toddler, so you just need to learn how to put those two things together.

C is going to have a hard time adjusting to not having 1:1 attention. It's just the way it is. With R we did the whole new toys/gifts idea and he could have cared less. The poor kid just wanted us and his old life back. There were many, many times I cried because I was so overwhelmed with being alone with 2 kids. You're breast feeding right? That was challenging at first. People at my play group always remarked at how impressed they were with me bf while standing/walking around. I told them if I couldn't do this, then L would never eat! When you're BF and chasing a toddler it must be on the go food.

Tips to help those first few months: I think when you're home alone all day with both kids it's all about making it through the day.


Get as many baby devices and put them all over your house. Many times I literally had to plop L down to tend to R in a flash.

I struggled and still do at times, with remembering R is 2. He was only 18 months when we brought L home. I expected him to act more mature than he was capable of. I needed to remind myself to be patient with him. He's a toddler. 'Nough said.

When ever L was asleep I tried to give R as much 1:1 time as I could. That way when I needed to be with L, I could ease the guilt of not being with R.

I tried to not say things like, L needs me to.... Or you need to be patient, I'm with L now. He needs me. I didn't want R to feel like he's second best or blame L for taking me away from him. I even went as far to say to L, "R needs me right now, please be patient". Of course a newborn comes first 99% of the time but I tried to give R the impression that he came first too.

Don't leave C alone with the new baby for even a second. Toddlers are curious and they will try to feed the baby stuff or hand them toys that are choking hazards. R even hits L at times and plays rough. I would take 1 of them with me to the bathroom when I needed to go.

Always buckle baby into the device they're in. R tried picking up L. Scary. Scary. Also we struggled with getting tummy time in cause toddlers like to jump on babies.

I got my coffee and R's sippy cup and breakfast ready the night before so when we woke up all I needed to do was hand him stuff. Not make it.

I made sure each floor of my house was stocked with diapers, wipes, change of clothes. Ain't no mom got time to be running upstairs 50 times a day to get stuff.

You can start drinking at 3. It's permitted for mothers of toddlers with newborns.

I hope I'm not freaking you out. I am being genuine when I say I would do this all over again in a heartbeat. It took me 3 months to find my parenting two groove. I made mistakes, I yelled at R, L didn't get the same newborn experience as R got but 9 months out, they adore each other. They're fast becoming the others best friend.

Thanks karlamo!! I really do appreciate it. I do have some baby devices on each floor. I've gotten used to putting most of C's clothes downstairs too because I hate going upstairs so that's good! I got a ring sling too so hopefully can learn to breastfeeding it but idk. C tends to be more clingy with me so it may be hard even when L is around!

[kh826]

mahler5, I totally second EVERYTHING karlamo said! She gave me the same advice 4 months ago, and it is all true and all helpful.

I also felt like we had ruined William's life for the first 2.5 weeks, but then, like magic, he adjusted and we slowly started to find a groove.

Lucie is now 4 months old, and William will be 2 this Saturday (craziness!), and they also are very quickly becoming best friends. William ADORES her. She is the first thing he asks about every morning, and the last thing he talks about before bed every night. I truly believe now that he sees his sister as a gift, and that is amazing!

It.is.so.hard.
But it is SOOOO worth it.
I also would do it again in a heart beat, and I probably will, because I am crazy.

Other little tidbits:
* TV/screen time is OK. Really. Sometimes you just have to.

* Quiet time during nap time even if the toddler refuses to nap is strongly encouraged! Some days William does not nap, but we still leave him in his crib in his room for 1-1.5 hrs to just play with his stuffed animals and be quiet and relaxed. It gives everyone a break and a re-charge, and it is so necessary some times.

* For us, getting out of the house a couple of days a week in the early days was crucial. William needed time to get out and explore the world and run around occasionally and get fresh air, etc. -- Lu was a January baby, so we hit up literally every mall play place in a 30 mile radius.

Honestly, as fast as time flies with #1, it flies even more quickly with #2. How is she 4 months old already?!?!.... take pictures, enjoy your snuggles, stop worrying about the cooking the cleaning the laundry - just spend some time with those babies while you can! The rest will wait!

[mahler5]

Thanks kh826! I can't believe Lu is 4 months and William is 2. Happy Birthday, William!

[karlamo]

You have to get out of the house with a toddler. With R, we didn't leave the house for weeks. We were those first time parents. When L came, we were at the park at day 3! Lol. Second kids get the reward of having moms with experience and knowing they won't break.