Tell us your dirty secrets...

[jillywilly]

I'd rather just pay for a donut tomorrow than wait for a free one today. I hate lines and crowds, and a donut is what... $1? Not worth it.

[blueskiessmiling]

The plug on our utility sink stopped working a few months ago, so I can't soak poop blowout clothes in that sink anymore. I now use DH's bathroom sink for 100% of the gross things I need to rinse/soak/wash. He is not aware of this.

[Widget123]

Jun 3, 2016 8:44:02 GMT -5 carrots said:

At work I'll sit on the toilet for an extra couple minutes after I'm done waiting for anyone else who is in the bathroom to leave so that I can wash my hands in silence and not have to make small talk.

It depends on who the other person is for me. If I see the person walking towards the bathroom at the same time I might just walk really slow so that person doesn't even notice I am behind her... because bathroom stall talk is even more awkward.

[veggiemo]

I put off paying my boss's credit cards this month, just because I was lazy and procrastinated it. He's going to get a late fee. I don't know why I do that but it isn't the first time.

[Deleted]

I have a zit on my face. I haven't had one in probably 5 years

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2016 9:40:49 GMT -5 @hazeldublin said:

I think it's weird the toilets in the US have so much water in them.

I think it's weird in Japan that they are obsessed with toilet features. On my trip there even in public bathrooms they have a million buttons. heat your seat, light up, flushing sound so people don't hear you while you poop.

[Deleted]

Here

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2016 11:56:01 GMT -5 @hazeldublin said:

@poppyc8 did you use any of them?

I used the poop music in my hotel room for fun. But in a public bathroom I get too grossed out to even sit on the toilet. I just want to pee and get out of there.

[Deleted]

That spray icon on the toilet to me looks like spraying water on boobs not a butt

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2016 12:02:49 GMT -5 @hazeldublin said:

Jun 3, 2016 12:01:33 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

I used the poop music in my hotel room for fun. But in a public bathroom I get too grossed out to even sit on the toilet. I just want to pee and get out of there.

Oh no to public bathroom, I'm a squatter unless I'm home. But I would like to give the toilet a spin

I guess I can see how if you're at work and need to poop and a coworker is next to you the music would be handy.

[veggiemo]

Speaking of toilets...I totally clogged the office toilet about 20 minutes ago. Had to plunge and all. It's a small office, I had no chance of hiding what was happening.

[shahoi]

Jun 3, 2016 12:48:03 GMT -5 Kristykristyleelee said:

Jun 3, 2016 12:02:49 GMT -5 @hazeldublin said:

Oh no to public bathroom, I'm a squatter unless I'm home. But I would like to give the toilet a spin

SQUATTERS ARE THE REASON THEY ARE GROSS IN THE FIRST PLACE

A friend of mine said that while she was in Italy, the toilets in public have no seat, so your only option is to squat. Well played, Italy.

[sugarkissed]

I loved the seat heater feature when I went to Japan.

[ashbash]

Jun 3, 2016 13:01:31 GMT -5 veggiemo said:

Speaking of toilets...I totally clogged the office toilet about 20 minutes ago. Had to plunge and all. It's a small office, I had no chance of hiding what was happening.

My sister is a chronic clogger. Christmas, birthday parties, restaurants, she has been embarrassed at all of them. Ive considered getting her a portable plunger half serious half kidding

[dogmama22]

The worst is when there's no plunger and you have to just walk out like "yeah, you don't wanna go in there..."

[veggiemo]

Jun 3, 2016 13:34:46 GMT -5 ashbash said:

Jun 3, 2016 13:01:31 GMT -5 veggiemo said:

Speaking of toilets...I totally clogged the office toilet about 20 minutes ago. Had to plunge and all. It's a small office, I had no chance of hiding what was happening.

My sister is a chronic clogger. Christmas, birthday parties, restaurants, she has been embarrassed at all of them. Ive considered getting her a portable plunger half serious half kidding

I think this is the first time I've ever truly clogged. I've been very, very close. But usually when I give it a round 2 flush, it works its way out.

[holliberry28]

Now that I switched from an iPhone 5s to a 6s,I can't reach the caps lock or emoticon button just using my thumb and holding my phone with one hand. Small hand person problem?

[holliberry28]

I also stole a Dove Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter from my coworkers table yesterday after she went out for the day.

Edit: she had a whole bag worth which made me feel less guilty for being a klepto.

[holliberry28]

I also love sneaking out of the office to run errands on work time. Even it's just to buy hand soap. Sometimes, it's to buy wine for later.

[beersandweirs]

I just had a pretty intense meeting with a coworker about all the shit that needs to be done in the next week. So naturally when I got off the meeting I hopped right back on TCF...

[holliberry28]

Jun 3, 2016 15:00:31 GMT -5 Kristykristyleelee said:

Jun 3, 2016 14:55:48 GMT -5 beersandweirs said:

I just had a pretty intense meeting with a coworker about all the shit that needs to be done in the next week. So naturally when I got off the meeting I hopped right back on TCF...

^^^me right now

me three. I couldn't process the assignment that I need to do, so I'm saving it for next week.

[holliberry28]

Jun 3, 2016 14:58:53 GMT -5 @hazeldublin said:

Kristykristyleelee she's from Bosnia, everyone was right I looked like a gobshite.

That's so weird.  My grandmother's sister, her husband, and daughter weren't too far from Chernobyl, in Kiev when the explosion happened.  The mother and father died from cancer a few years after coming to America, and their daughter was always sick while she was alive

[holliberry28]

I thought of another good FFFC after reading catching up on the UO thread.

One of my cats has a smelly butt, and will come into the bathroom to freshen up when I'm in there in the mornings. And, by this, I mean, I pat her butt with a wet cotton ball or two because she makes this really grossed out face when she licks herself.

And I let my cats lick mu hands erbear and pghtruelove.

Eta: not Lucy, but similar face

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2016 12:49:16 GMT -5 Kristykristyleelee said:

Jun 3, 2016 12:46:00 GMT -5 Kristykristyleelee said:

it looks like what i would imagine the tail-end of a diddywank to look like

OR THE START OF A PEARL NECKLACE

Kristykristyleelee just discovered her caps lock button

[Deleted]

Jun 3, 2016 14:40:47 GMT -5 budders said:

Jun 3, 2016 13:02:37 GMT -5 shahoi said:

A friend of mine said that while she was in Italy, the toilets in public have no seat, so your only option is to squat. Well played, Italy.

That's definitely true in the more remote areas. Just a hole in the ground and a grooved area on either side for your feet.

This is true in China as well. I once peed in a hole at a restaurant across from a cage of chickens.

[purple]

Jun 3, 2016 15:39:28 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

Jun 3, 2016 14:40:47 GMT -5 budders said:

That's definitely true in the more remote areas. Just a hole in the ground and a grooved area on either side for your feet.

This is true in China as well. I once peed in a whole at a restaurant across from a cage of chickens.

I've experienced toilets like this in China and Egypt, but not in Italy.

[heartofglass]

I left the room while the inlaws were visiting today to nurse A. We may have fallen asleep and taken a nap, they were gone when we came out and hour later...

[tatersalad]

Jun 3, 2016 15:24:44 GMT -5 @jemomma said:

Jun 3, 2016 12:48:03 GMT -5 Kristykristyleelee said:

SQUATTERS ARE THE REASON THEY ARE GROSS IN THE FIRST PLACE

Thank you! You squat and your pee goes all over the damn seat and most don't bother to clean up after themselves. I then have to go in and either sit in your pee or clean it up myself. No no no. Just sit your ass on the toilet and do your business.

Preach it Sister!