The Going to Bed Thread

[rosetyler72]

I want to hear about your bedtime routines- when they start, how long they last, who does what, how much baby cries, where they end up sleeping etc. 

Ours is a nightmare pretty much every night, includes a lot of crying, frustration, and multiple wake ups before he's really down for good (being more than 20 mins). Is this normal or are we doing something horribly wrong? Everyone talks about making bedtime calm and relaxing, and it is until the minute we try to rock, bounce, sing lullabies, and actually try to lull him into sleep. People talk about setting baby down and they drift off peacefully...which is total BS, right? RIGHT?!

Our routine:
Start time- about 1.5 hours after last nap- averaging 7ish pm
Bath in dim lighting
Massage and diaper, pjs
Boob until full and sleepy  (we recently moved this to be first, no difference in crying/falling asleep)
Hand off to dad, rock/bounce while crying and fussing. This can last for up to 1.5 hours with several falling asleep and waking back up when set down episodes. 
Finally falls asleep, set down in PNP, sleep approx 2 hours until first wake up for feeding.

Tell me we aren't alone or teach me how to do it better please!

[zombiesquad]

D is usually pretty tired between 7 and 8. If we don't get him down by then, he's a hot mess and impossible to get to sleep. Our routine is pretty simple:

I pick up kids after work, come home and nurse while we eat dinner. 
Around 7, H keeps our 3 yo occupied while I handle baby's bedtime.
If it's bath night, I give him a bath, do a little massage and get him in his PJs.
If it's not bath night, I may wipe him down with a warm cloth, but I still do a little massage. I talk to him while I get his PJs on.
I dim the lights, put on some music. Sometimes we read a book. Then I nurse until he pops off. Sometimes he's asleep, sometimes he's awake. 
I burp him and then lay him down. We go back and forth between swaddling and leaving him out. Tonight I left him out. He's been asleep since about 7:30.

The timing may vary, but the routine is pretty consistent. The thing is, he's so much different than my 3 yo. We would do the bedtime routine with her and lay her down and she would immediately wake up. And then it was that whole song and dance throughout the night until she finally went down for good. It was annoying and exhausting. This kid falls asleep like a charm. So each kid really is different. 

[paloslee]

LO is usually tired by 8pm. We started our bedtime routine at 9-10 weeks. We do a bath every nite between 730-8pm. He loves bath time. Then a baby massage and sing while we put pjs on. I turn off all the lights and use an nite light app (very dim). He drinks his bottle, I burp him and he's out by 830-845. My first was not a good sleeper. It took forever to get him to bed and he woke up several times a night to nurse. He didn't sleep through the nite till he was 13 months.

[sunshineshades]

I don't really have much of a routine yet but my suggestion would be start a little earlier he could be over tired. Try like 15 minutes sooner and if no better try 15 more.
Sometimes E is down at 7 and sleeps for hours, other times not so much. Tonight she napped 6:15-7:15 so then I couldn't convince her to go back to sleep till 8:45. But she wasn't fussy about it.

[jewel441]

We try and hold off going upstairs until as close to 7 as we can make it, except on bath nights then a bit earlier. We do some diaper free time on the changing table, sometimes I will do a massage if she is into it, sometimes she wants to go right to bed. Then PJs, then nurse in our bed side lying until she is done or dosing. Then put her in the Merlin and give her a kiss and put her in her crib. She generally goes down on her own pretty easily. If not we let her fuss for a bit and then H will go soothe her, if that doesn't work I will nurse her in the Merlin and then she is out. Depending on when she woke up from her last nap the process can be as short at like 10 min (if she is crying we skip diaper free, etc) though then she sometimes needs extra soothing, but otherwise maybe 20 min or so. She goes to bed really easily. The routine isn't super consistent it really depends on her tolerance but she always goes in sleepy but awake and there hasn't been any issues...

MOTN just nurse and put her right back in the bassinet. No routine or fuss, usually takes 10 min and she goes right back to sleep or fusses a fart out and then goes right back down.

[peachesncream]

At 6:45 we head up for bath and LO takes a bath with big sis. I lotion them both up, put on jammies, read some books. If I am solo then I put my toddler to bed and then I rock LO to sleep, if DH is there we split up and each put a kid to bed. Our goal is DD1 in bed by 7:30 and DD2 by 8. We just moved the swing to its own bedroom last night so now DD2 is out of our room.

[SheilaTheTank]

We usually get her down around 8pm. She's so beyond done by then that getting her down has been easier. Daycare helps with getting her good and tired and I think it has helped with the sleep regression

Routine:
7:30ish: Last diaper change and pjs
Sing baby burrito song
Nursing and rocking
Asleep by 8pm

But I have a special snowflake who likes sleep and needs it desperately to function... Like her mom

[mom2boxers]

So my baby is a night owl compared to you all. I feed her the last bottle around 8:30-9 and then take her up and wipe her down with water (soap for the bottom), new diaper, and pjs and then put her in the crib.

I sub an actual bath if she needs it. Also I think I started reading as part of the routine closer to a year with my oldest. He wasn't into it when he was younger.

[lindy04aggie]

I'm jealous of y'all that are getting babies to sleep around 8!

My evening routine:

5:40ish - pick up from daycare
6:00 - change diapers and feed bottles
7:00ish - one of us makes dinner while the other occupies babies
8:00ish - try to keep babies happy during the witching hours, wash bottles (on bath nights, we start around 8)
9:00ish - DH and I take turns getting ready for bed
9:30ish - change diapers and feed bottles
10-10:30ish - babies in cribs for the night

[arbe]

NOt calling it a routine b/c we get home a different time almost everyday so thats a factor. So bathtime isn't consistent and sometimes its just a quick wipedown while big kids are in bath.

H gets big kid ready for bead starting at 8 (sometimes later if we get home late) and I try to get Emmy her last feeding then I put her down in basinet and read with DD1. Sometime Em stays asleep sometimes she needs more snuggles.

[Deleted]

We start at or as close to 8:30 as possible... Here's what we do... It's generally a happy, fun, relatively playful time, but quieter levels and lights dimmed.

- Massage with baby lotion and then use the bedtime scented lotion on just his hands and feet (I don't think it provides enough moisture to use all over - we use Aveeno all over)
- Put on footie pajamas
- Read a bedtime story
- Swaddle
- Top off with milk - usually takes about twenty minutes or so
- Daddy walks him around the house singing to him

Usually he'll be down between 9:40 and 10:00... Sometimes he'll wake up every half hour or so until about 11 - but here recently, he's stayed down most nights - so I think that's progress!

A few things that I've learned - especially since putting him in daycare, which totally messed with him the first week or so...:

- We take our cues from him. Some nights after the bedtime story he is clearly not ready to be swaddled and put down - so we will just put him in his little bouncer seat and let him play himself out... We don't engage him, though, and we keep the lights dimmed and room quiet. Once he yawns or starts to look sleepy, we take our chances and put him in the swaddle then.
- Sometimes, when Mr. Pugs walks him, Miles will realize it's sleep time and start to fight it. If he starts fighting really hard, I will nurse him again for a few minutes. Usually he falls asleep within five minutes of being on the boob again.
- Sometimes, he just doesn't want to be put down and will wake up every time we try, he just want to be held. I'll just sit with him quietly in the rocker until he falls into a deeper sleep.

[paloslee]

I see that most of use are using lotions with LO. Did anyone have any reactions? I haven't used lotion on LO yet. I have Aveeno, Babyganics and Honest products that we got for our shower but have not used any lotion just bath wash. It should be safe now, right? He is 14weeks

[Deleted]

Jun 8, 2016 12:35:56 GMT -5 paloslee said:

I see that most of use are using lotions with LO. Did anyone have any reactions? I haven't used lotion on LO yet. I have Aveeno, Babyganics and Honest products that we got for our shower but have not used any lotion just bath wash. It should be safe now, right? He is 14week

We've been doing it since 3.5 weeks... I'm sure we put lotion on him even earlier than that, but that's when we started our massaging routine. No reactions here, just preferences on effectiveness. We've tried Burts Bees Ointment, Aquafor Ointment and Hydrating Cream, Bedtime Lavendar Lotion (Johnson & Johnson), Cetaphil, and Aveeno. LOL. My favorite is the Aveeno for all over and the Cetaphil for extra dry patches. His little thighs get super dry for whatever reason. The Cetaphil heavy cream is the only thing that does the trick there.

[rosetyler72]

Jun 8, 2016 12:35:56 GMT -5 paloslee said:

I see that most of use are using lotions with LO. Did anyone have any reactions? I haven't used lotion on LO yet. I have Aveeno, Babyganics and Honest products that we got for our shower but have not used any lotion just bath wash. It should be safe now, right? He is 14weeks

We use Babyganics unscented. No reactions, been using it for 2 months now.

[halfahippy]

We have a late bedtime compared to most of you. We get home around 5:45/6 and the kids play outside with DH until 6:30 while I make dinner. Dinner at 6:30 and bath for DS at 7. DD gets a bath if she needs one/she's in a good mood and not just attached to my boob.
DH puts DS to bed at 7:30/7:45 and then comes out to hang out with DD for a while. I usually clean up the kitchen then.
At around 9 DH changes DD while I get ready for bed. Then I swaddle her and nurse her to sleep and lay her in the RNP. She's pretty easy to get down by 9:30 if we stick to this schedule. I tried to push bedtime earlier and it blew up in my face. She was up a million times until 10:30, the up every 1-2 hours all night. When I gave up and went back to later, it is so much easier. We will try again in a few weeks to make things earlier.

[mom2boxers]

halfahippy - I wouldn't worry about pushing it up unless you want to. If it works for your family, do it. I don't do anything earlier than 8:30 because we don't get home until 6.

[cinnamonsmiles]

Current schedule looks like this:
6:00 Take DS for a walk around the neighborhood, V sleeps in Ergo.
7:00 Get DS ready for bed (no baths unless necessary because he usually screams the whole time).
8:00 Read books to both while V gradually gets more upset
8:30 DS down, move to bedroom with screaming V, change diaper/put on sleepsack
9-10 Nurse V to sleep in dim, quiet room. Rarely goes down for good until 10.

I so wish I could put her down a little earlier, but MH is usually still working so I'm solo at bedtime until his schedule changes. She's usually getting tired just before or at the same time as DS, so by the time I'm done with him, she's overtired. I can't put her down before his routine though because she won't stay down. Doing my best to get DS down ASAP so she's not overtired is exhausting.

[halfahippy]

Jun 8, 2016 14:24:43 GMT -5 mom2boxers said:

halfahippy - I wouldn't worry about pushing it up unless you want to. If it works for your family, do it. I don't do anything earlier than 8:30 because we don't get home until 6.

I would love for both kids to go to bed at the same time. I get absolutely no time with no kids around (ETA: except when I'm frantically trying to get dinner made after work) and I'm starting to lose my mind. We will get there eventually.

[carissa325]

DH works till 8:00 and sometimes later so I'm on my own most days to feed the toddler. I try to have him in the bath at 7:00 and in bed by 7:45 then I wipe down, pj and feed C around 8:00. If mh gets home on time he usually gets home about the time I finish nursing and he takes her and they have a little time together before he swaddles her and she is hopefully down by 9:00. We will eventually move her bedtime earlier but if we did it now she would never get daddy time.

[paloslee]

Jun 8, 2016 13:44:22 GMT -5 rosetyler72 said:

Jun 8, 2016 12:35:56 GMT -5 paloslee said:

I see that most of use are using lotions with LO. Did anyone have any reactions? I haven't used lotion on LO yet. I have Aveeno, Babyganics and Honest products that we got for our shower but have not used any lotion just bath wash. It should be safe now, right? He is 14weeks

We use Babyganics unscented. No reactions, been using it for 2 months now.

thanks! i will try it. 

[paloslee]

Jun 8, 2016 13:23:37 GMT -5 @pugsandwine said:

Jun 8, 2016 12:35:56 GMT -5 paloslee said:

I see that most of use are using lotions with LO. Did anyone have any reactions? I haven't used lotion on LO yet. I have Aveeno, Babyganics and Honest products that we got for our shower but have not used any lotion just bath wash. It should be safe now, right? He is 14week

We've been doing it since 3.5 weeks... I'm sure we put lotion on him even earlier than that, but that's when we started our massaging routine. No reactions here, just preferences on effectiveness. We've tried Burts Bees Ointment, Aquafor Ointment and Hydrating Cream, Bedtime Lavendar Lotion (Johnson & Johnson), Cetaphil, and Aveeno. LOL. My favorite is the Aveeno for all over and the Cetaphil for extra dry patches. His little thighs get super dry for whatever reason. The Cetaphil heavy cream is the only thing that does the trick there.

Wow! good to hear that he did react to any.  that was my only concern with LO.  I will start lathering him up then!  I would just massage in the bath while washing him. I will use the Aveeno since I have a ton. 

[sunshineshades]

Am I the only one who doesn't actually put lo to bed until you go to bed? I mean she's asleep, but sleeps downstairs in our living room until I go up to bed and then I move her to our rnp.

[jewel441]

Jun 8, 2016 18:28:33 GMT -5 sunshineshades said:

Am I the only one who doesn't actually put lo to bed until you go to bed? I mean she's asleep, but sleeps downstairs in our living room until I go up to bed and then I move her to our rnp.

We did that until around 7 weeks or so, after that it became clear she wanted to go to bed earlier.

Also, on lotions I am/was so paranoid about it bc I have super sensitive skin and I have skin reactions to things all the time. We use all unscented stuff and I use cadela cream sporadically (instead of lotion). So far she hasn't had any reactions to anything.

[peachesncream]

Jun 8, 2016 18:28:33 GMT -5 sunshineshades said:

Am I the only one who doesn't actually put lo to bed until you go to bed? I mean she's asleep, but sleeps downstairs in our living room until I go up to bed and then I move her to our rnp.

We did that for a while but we had too many unsuccessful transfers or we would get in the habit of hanging out down there staying up too late because "she's bound to wake up any minute..."

[Deleted]

Jun 8, 2016 17:15:15 GMT -5 paloslee said:

Jun 8, 2016 13:23:37 GMT -5 @pugsandwine said:

We've been doing it since 3.5 weeks... I'm sure we put lotion on him even earlier than that, but that's when we started our massaging routine. No reactions here, just preferences on effectiveness. We've tried Burts Bees Ointment, Aquafor Ointment and Hydrating Cream, Bedtime Lavendar Lotion (Johnson & Johnson), Cetaphil, and Aveeno. LOL. My favorite is the Aveeno for all over and the Cetaphil for extra dry patches. His little thighs get super dry for whatever reason. The Cetaphil heavy cream is the only thing that does the trick there.

Wow! good to hear that he did react to any.  that was my only concern with LO.  I will start lathering him up then!  I would just massage in the bath while washing him. I will use the Aveeno since I have a ton. 

Lol - yeah, I got a little crazy trying to find the perfect regimen. Lol

[megrae12]

Jun 8, 2016 18:28:33 GMT -5 sunshineshades said:

Am I the only one who doesn't actually put lo to bed until you go to bed? I mean she's asleep, but sleeps downstairs in our living room until I go up to bed and then I move her to our rnp.

I do it. W wont go down til I go to bed. I need to figure out how to work on this, but I dunno how. For now this works.

[rachelilly23]

I do Aveeno after bath, which is usually only every 3rd or 4th day. She gets a wipe down in between. We've used it pretty much since she was a week old.

[Missy0483]

We have no routine lol. Feed him his bottle between 8:30 and 9 and he's asleep by 9:30 usually. I take him up to our room and put him down in the bassinet. We were using the Halo sleep sack and swaddling with arms tucked in, but last night I switch to a regular sleep sack arms out. His first stretch wasn't as long, maybe 4 hours, but way better than I expected. We do bath twice a week, usually Sunday and Wednesday, but no set time for them.  I hope I don't break him by not having a real routine, we never really did for our other babies either. It's hard now to stay on any kind of schedule with 2 kids, at least for me!

[mom2boxers]

Adding - LO has been taking a nap after she eats dinner too.

[fignewt]

rosetyler72 , our routine isn't much different than yours, so I'm trying to figure out what might be causing all of the fussing. One of the pp's mentioned an earlier bedtime, which is a great idea if LO is overtired. Another thought would be to keep LO up longer than 1.5 hours before - I have noticed that DD is now staying awake for 2-3 hours before bedtime, and then she is very tuckered out by bedtime (which falls somewhere between 8:30 to 9:30).
My other suggestion is to make sure the nap routine is the same as the bedtime routine so LO is getting consistency, and you are teaching him that sleep time comes after these rituals.
Another thing that might help is to start trying to put LO down drowsy but awake. Try looking up the "Pantly Dance" in the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" where she outlines how to put the baby down drowsy but awake. I usually carry DD over to the crib, put her down gently keeping my hands on her, shhhhing until she is calm, then slowly remove my hands, then stop shhhhing (or keep the shusher on www.amazon.com/Baby-Shusher-Soothing-Miracle-Babies/dp/B00D2JN87I?ie=UTF8&keywords=baby%20shusher&qid=1465481231&ref_=sr_1_1&s=baby-products&sr=1-1)
I have also heard that some babies (none of mine have been like this) don't really like being rocked to sleep and actually prefer to just be put down in their crib to fall asleep on their own. This could also be worth trying just to see how he does?
Hope that helps!