Social Parent Situation

[bubbalicious]

I ran into a mom which I was involved in regular playgroups when dd was super young. When I asked about her little one, she went on how her child had finished Harry Potter series in 2months, currently reading Chronicles on Narnia, has the Hobbit waiting for her and oh yeah what comes after the Hobbit?...I chimed in LOTR. Yes she mentioned her 2nd grader's report card. She then goes on how she has to schedule craft classes.

She asked me about my little one and I gave her a simple "great". And moved on to social conversation.

I am thrilled for her child. I am thrilled for her. I recognize the weirdness of bringing up you kid's academic progress with someone you haven/t seen. If the roles were reversed...I bring up slogging through IEP meetings etc...how does that look?

How do you handle these awkward social conversations with other parents who do  not live in our world?

[mamaturtle]

Ugh! I run here.

She sounds overwhelming with all those brags. I would believe it but what she is not telling you is the ugly truth of how her kid talks back to her or how the kid does not listen. Nobody wants to broadcast the bad things our kids do.

[akafred]

I don't know that she lives in *any* world. There's not a better answer than the one you gave. If you want to have more conversation you could say something about your child's interest or an event coming up (like I have summer camp on my mind), but why would you want to have more conversation?

[mamaturtle]

Feb 8, 2015 10:11:54 GMT -5 akafred said:

I don't know that she lives in *any* world. There's not a better answer than the one you gave. If you want to have more conversation you could say something about your child's interest or an event coming up (like I have summer camp on my mind), but why would you want to have more conversation?

This is good advice.

I have the same question that akafred mentioned.

[funchicken]

Yeah, I don't think it matters what world you live in, that sounds obnoxiously braggy. I hate conversations like that.

One of my favorite FB friends is always posting about the annoying and ridiculous things her kids do. She's much more fun and relatable than the person who posts things like, "Is anyone else teaching their four year old Scrabble?"

[mamaturtle]

Feb 8, 2015 10:21:56 GMT -5 funchicken said:

Yeah, I don't think it matters what world you live in, that sounds obnoxiously braggy. I hate conversations like that.

One of my favorite FB friends is always posting about the annoying and ridiculous things her kids do. She's much more fun and relatable than the person who posts things like, "Is anyone else teaching their four year old Scrabble?"

I like your friend funchicken!

I will want to be this type and say there is a plastic ball in my sound speaker woofer and we can't get it out! This is why we can't have nice things!

[cam]

Agree with others that that is over the top of her no matter what. Regardless of whether my kid were NT or not, I would have responded similar to what you did.

[mrsbuttinski]

Welcome to my world.

Some random thoughts-

When a child is typically developing and firing on all cylinders, it is breathtaking. I can totally appreciate how some parents are compelled to share. That said, I notice the following-

- The parents who brag are often a bit insecure. Either they struggled as students or aren't in a great situation in the moment.

- None of my smart PhD friends brag like this.

- There is a tendency to facebookify family life and only share the highlight reel. Nobody's going to share their journey with bed-wetting or shoplifting.

Over time, schadenfreude is likely. I try not to enjoy it too much. But yikes.

Like the dad who accused me of not caring about DS's education. He wanted me to consider his son's school. It wasn't right for DS; it wasn't very good for his kid either. He was poorly prepared for college, took up with a bad crowd, flunked out and murdered someone.

Or the mom who refused to allow her son to be "labeled" as I let DS be. He attended all "regular" classes in secondary. He's on the four year plan at the community college; DS graduated in May.

Or all those band and scout moms who blathered on about the application process and all of the selective schools to which their kids were applying. They got a lot of thin envelopes and are having a blast at the state universities. Just like my kid. He just took a different path. One that saved me nagging about essays and $10K.

[bubbalicious]

I can't believe this mom isn't clued in (she is pretty smart).I went to church and felt revived by normal mom conversation.

Apparently my astrological sign is passing in through the braggert, judgy house. It will pass. It will happen again, probably will see her next month at the same place. Just need to be prepared again.

I appreciate your words...relief that i am not alone in my thought on this situation.

[typeset]

I really like the book Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid. It speaks to this.

As for how I handle it? Openly. I offer the head pat with a side of our reality.

[olivegoose]

I would have had to fight back the urge to turn and run far away from her. I don't think anyone wants to hang out with the constantly bragging mom, NT kids or otherwise.

[BostonKisses]

That kind of stuff drives me nuts. It's STFU Parents-worthy.

[numbbears]

If they don't really know DS, I always just go with the "good" response, too.

[bubbalicious]

I saw my MIL last night. Seriously what house is my astrological sign in?

[NandaB]

This has nothing to do with having a child with special needs vs a typically developing child. This mom is awful and I bet she has no friends.

Ive only had a child w/sp needs for a month. Before that I had 2 typically developing kids who happen to be pretty darn smart, if I do say so myself. I somehow manage not to describe their amazing accomplishments in annoying detail to casual acquaintances.