How crazy am I?

[pineapplemae]

So this is probably the most ridiculous complaint, but it really bothers me and I wondered what you all would think about it.
Basically, I really regret giving LO her middle name, or names to be more specific. The first one is H's grandmother's name which he really pushed for. I don't love it, but he wanted to honor her and she's a wonderful woman, so I agreed. Now I find out that H's brother's youngest daughter has the same middle name! H made it sound like no one else used it when we were deciding. I didn't specifically ask, but I thought it was common knowledge.
Her second middle name is also one of my middle names that I always wanted to use as a first name, but H didn't like it enough. I have two middles so I thought it was a good compromise. Now a friend of ours is having a baby and wants to use it if she has a girl and H is all "I really like that name now; it would have been a cute first name". Grrrrrr.
Thank you for reading my nonsense. So how crazy am I that this totally grinds my gears?

[Deleted]

Damn, now I really want to know the name.

Not crazy. Men are clueless. And I personally believe that the woman should get to name the child since she carries it. But, to look at the big picture, it's just a name. If this is your biggest problem than you are doing ok.

ETA "pregnant woman" for my same sex coups

[cdseno]

There is no snark in this response, promise, but if you both like the second middle name as a first name now can't you just call her that? Unless you want to go through the process of changing her name legally and all that would involve, you are pretty stuck with what you named her so make the best of it. Call her whatever you want. I'm pretty sure my kid isn't named Mr. Magoo but I call him that more than his real name. As far as the shared middle name, I don't feel like it is that big of a deal. It is a middle name, it isn't like he pushed it as her first name and her cousin has the same first name. I'm not trying to negate your feelings because naming your child is kind of a big thing, but now you need to work with what you have.

ETA: I want to know the name too

[redhorizon343]

^^^^ This

Unless you want to go through a legal process, you'll have to stick with the names you both initially agreed on. But there's no reason you can't call LO by one of her middle names now if you've both decided you like it better.

[pineapplemae]

Yeah I definitely don't want to legally change her name; I guess I just wanted to know how valid my annoyance at H is lol. Her middle name is Catherine-Mae (so not horrible, right?) but I will be making the name decisions from now on thanks for indulging my neuroses!

[briarrose]

I get your feeling. I like LO's name for the most part (Killian Erik) but I have days where I wish he was Erik, and days where I wish DH had liked any of the ten names I was cool with and not been so freaking picky. It doesn't help that half the people we know are stupid about the name Killian. Whatever, its his name and I like it enough, but I get the full say next time around. Naming was kind of a battle for us.

[mandapanda1382]

I'd be bugged at my husband too.

I wouldn't call her by her middle name much, though. My parents did that with my brother (only called him by his middle name) and he has HATED it. Because legally he's another name. It's caused all sorts of paperwork headaches for him his whole life.

[pineapplemae]

briarrose yes! My H was incredibly picky too, and of course I wanted him to be happy with her name, so I feel like I gave in a little too easily. Btw I looooove Killian Erik!

[Courtniko]

I would be annoyed. But having said that, this is not something you want to hold on to. Be a bit annoyed at your husband for a short time, but don't let yourself regret the name choice if that makes sense.

[weeklyplanner]

I love family middle names so it wouldn't bother me at all if it was shared. Maybe I'm weird, but if I end up having more than one daughter they will all have the same family middle name. Is that really strange? Now I'm paranoid lol

[pineapplemae]

weeklyplanner I actually thought about using Mae again as a middle name, so I don't think it's weird at all! It doesn't just bother me that it's shared, it's mostly that H knew I didn't love the name but pushed that he wanted his gram's name to "live on" without telling me it was already living on with my niece. I guess I just feel duped (though I believe H did it unintentionally). But I feel better knowing I'm not being completely irrational lol. H really does not get why I was annoyed about it.

[Courtniko]

weeklyplanner, we are actually considering using my maiden name as the middle name for all of our kids, even if we have a boy (it is DD's middle name). I know that is not exactly the same thing, but I like having my family name for DD's middle name, and possible any other children.

My cousins wife gave both of her girls her middle name as their middle name, so all 3 have the same middle name.

So all of that to say that I don't think it is strange at all.

[daisylola11]

There are now 4 grandkids on my DH side with the same middle name (his father who's passed). Now it's like tradition that one kid of each of his 6 siblings have it lol my family didn't even do middle names (I don't have one) so it didn't bother me. I don't think it's a big deal but you should call her whatever you want her to go by, she's your LO

[pineapplemae]

Thank you so much, ladies! It really helps to hear others' perspectives.

[caybeh]

I would probably be annoyed too. My mom, sister, and myself all have the same middle name. I have always wanted to pass on the tradition. Well, my middle name is my MIL's first name. DH didn't want to use family names, but he did agree to using my middle name. DH's brother had a girl and gave her the middle name after MIL. There is other history, but I was bummed because that took away my desire to use the middle name. I know I could still use it and maybe if we have another girl I will....

[joshan1719]

You're story is almost the exact same as mine! BF pushed for DDs middle name to be after his grandmother because he wanted to honor her. I found our for months after she was born that his mom has the same middle name. And I don't even like the name.

What's worse: I hate both of my son's names! BF insisted DS be named after him and the middle name ended up being the only one we could agree want terrible. I don't call him by either name. First name is John, I call him Jack.

[wickednomnoms]

Feb 9, 2015 9:14:06 GMT -5 weeklyplanner said:

I love family middle names so it wouldn't bother me at all if it was shared. Maybe I'm weird, but if I end up having more than one daughter they will all have the same family middle name. Is that really strange? Now I'm paranoid lol

My sister and I both have the same middle name. It is a family name and when I was born my sister asked if we could have the same middle name, kind of sweet People have said it's weird but whatever I like that we share it and there is meaning behind it.

[pineapplemae]

wickednomnoms I think that's adorable

[merry]

weeklyplanner along those same lines my friend named her girls with each others middle name (not the same). So their names are: Faith Noelle, Avayah Faith and Noelle Avayah