Me Before You Discussion

[kawaiikitsune]

I am still on the waiting list for this book at my library...

[kayladawn91]

I LOVED this book. I haven't seen the movie yet.

I felt like the author did a great job making you fall in love with the characters. I cried several times in the last quarter of the book. I hated the ending and really wanted him to change his mind. What did everyone else think of the ending?

[kayladawn91]

Jun 22, 2016 10:03:11 GMT -5 pippacricket said:

My favorite part would probably be when they went to Alicia and Rupert's wedding. It could have turned into a terrible day if Will had let it but I'm glad they were able to have fun despite the circumstances.

I really enjoyed this part too.

I wanted to love the part where they went on vacation together but I almost found it boring. Maybe because by that point I had the feeling it wasn't going to last and he was going to choose death.

[ironbaby]

I felt it was predictable. It felt a little too Nicholas Sparks-y for my taste.

Honestly, I felt the whole story was just written as a prequel to Me After You (which I haven't read). We were supposed to be so impressed with her growth and how he gave her purpose, but it felt contrived.

I did, ultimately, agree with the ending and didn't feel it could have ended any other way.

It was very eye-opening to the level of difficulty involved in what we see as everyday tasks.

[ironbaby]

Jun 22, 2016 9:59:30 GMT -5 pippacricket said:

I've read that there's a lot of backlash from the disabled community about this book and movie. I'm curious what you all think about this as well.

What is the root of the backlash?

[diamondsndaisies]

It is probably one of my favorite books. Top 5 at least. I really liked how the author didn't push you to believe one way or the other but opened your eyes to both sides of the subject.
I found I could relate to Louisa pretty easily. I tend to be a little goofy at times and a little eccentric. If put in the same position I would have done exactly what Lousia did.
I understand why Will felt the way he did, but in the end I didn't agree with his decision. There were so many things that would have made his life worth living. He chose not to be happy and to try and make the best of it.

[butlerfan]

GDI...I have it from the library but with trying to get house ready for tomorrow and mission trip I haven't had a chance to read it. I'm hoping next week I may have time.

[ironbaby]

Without being in his (or any quadriplegic's) position, I can't determine whether his choice was a valid one. However, I did feel that the author provided enough reasoning for Will to make that choice.

[thelittleredm]

I really enjoyed it even though the ending was predictable. I liked how the author brought up assisted suicide and reasons for it. I really loved the wedding and Louisa's birthday party. Running Man can suck it lol

Saw the movie and really appreciated how it kept with the book.

[wannabmama]

So, I have mixed feelings here.
First, I thought it was a good story, I was into the storytelling and the characters (and their flaws!) and read it quickly. I knew how it was going to end early on so was pretty prepared. Still cried a little. It's definitely hard to put ourselves in the shoes of someone in that position. I think the author did a good job explaining just how limited his life was. I wonder if we'd feel differently if he was slightly less limited in what he could do?

I think the issues raised are interesting. I come at this from a perspective that might be a little different than some. My mom does research into end of life care issues and has been involved in the debate over physician assisted suicide, etc. I won't get all into it and what I think about the political issue, but I think books like this are interesting pieces of that discussion. There's a Vice about the topic that is interesting too. MH and I don't agree on this topic but had a good conversation about it after watching the show, I think it's ondemand if you have HBO.

Anyway...I wonder about After You but I also started to read it a bit and already felt it was formulaic off the bat so I'm thinking I'll skip it.

[diamondsndaisies]

Jun 22, 2016 11:10:11 GMT -5 thelittleredm said:

I really enjoyed it even though the ending was predictable. I liked how the author brought up assisted suicide and reasons for it. I really loved the wedding and Louisa's birthday party. Running Man can suck it lol

Saw the movie and really appreciated how it kept with the book.

I really enjoyed the movie as well. I get so nervous to see a movie after I had read and LOVED the book because it has so many expectations to live up to. I also am aware that they cannot cover everything and sometimes they need to tweek little things to make it a more watchable movie. I thought they did EXTREMELY well with this one. I plan to purchase it when they release it to dvd/bluray. 

[kayladawn91]

@yaga I felt the same way when I finished reading. I got super attached to the characters.

thelittleredm I hated Running Man (what was his real name again?) from the beginning. So self-involved.

ironbaby I agree. The author did a great job staying objective on the issue.

diamondsndaisies I agree. I didn't agree with his decision. I thought Louisa did a good job showing him how enjoyable his life could be and he never seemed open to it. I don't think think he was ever going to change his mind and he was just humoring his parents by going along with the 6 month thing. He never really tried to open his eyes to the possibilities quadriplegics have. He had already made up his mind.

[kayladawn91]

Jun 22, 2016 11:17:59 GMT -5 diamondsndaisies said:

Jun 22, 2016 11:10:11 GMT -5 thelittleredm said:

I really enjoyed it even though the ending was predictable. I liked how the author brought up assisted suicide and reasons for it. I really loved the wedding and Louisa's birthday party. Running Man can suck it lol

Saw the movie and really appreciated how it kept with the book.

I really enjoyed the movie as well. I get so nervous to see a movie after I had read and LOVED the book because it has so many expectations to live up to. I also am aware that they cannot cover everything and sometimes they need to tweek little things to make it a more watchable movie. I thought they did EXTREMELY well with this one. I plan to purchase it when they release it to dvd/bluray. 

I can't wait to see it!

[kayladawn91]

I'm sad that so many haven't had a good first impression of After You. I haven't started it yet, but was looking forward to reading it. I hope it lives up to my expectation.

[diamondsndaisies]

kayladawn91. Yes the author gave little hints throughout that he was already decided. I did understand his stance on not holding Lou back. He knew that she loved him for who he was and his quad status was irrelevant but I can understand not wanting to suck someone else into your complicated life. He wanted the best for her and to allow her to experience the things he was able to before the accident.

I also question if he would have had a different outlook if he had an accident as a result of one of his adventures or if he would still feel the same? Since the accident was due to some random accident, is that why he felt his life was ripped away? If it happened while, skydiving per se, would he feel the same? If he was doing what he loved with the same result would he feel it was worth it?

[kayladawn91]

Jun 22, 2016 11:33:39 GMT -5 pippacricket said:

Jun 22, 2016 11:19:16 GMT -5 kayladawn91 said:

diamondsndaisies I agree. I didn't agree with his decision. I thought Louisa did a good job showing him how enjoyable his life could be and he never seemed open to it. I don't think think he was ever going to change his mind and he was just humoring his parents by going along with the 6 month thing. He never really tried to open his eyes to the possibilities quadriplegics have. He had already made up his mind.

But do those excursions that Louisa looked up/had planned outweigh the fact that he's constantly in pain? Constantly at risk of getting ill because his body needs meds to regulate normal function?

Not trying to argue just genuinely curious what others think.

I don't know. Maybe not. But it didn't seem to me like he put an effort into discovering the possibility that maybe he could live a full, happy life despite his disability. Maybe he would have found it didn't outweigh it, but how can you know if you don't try? I think he was just really close minded.

[whatsit]

I really enjoyed the book and love that the movie was so close to it.

I loved the interactions between Louisa and Will and how even from the beginning, Will was preparing her for life without him. Things like getting her to enjoy reading again, watching foreign films... Making her realize that she could do and be more than what she was.

I did have a hard time reading parts of it. My mom was a quadriplegic, and I couldn't help but compare their lives and situations. Although my mom had some down days, she was generally optimistic and got to do a lot of things that even some able bodied people do not have the opportunity to do. So that was frustrating for me- that Will couldn't see the things he would be able to do- just what he wouldn't. But at the same time I respected that, because I understand there are people in that situation who just need a way out.
Kudos to Jojo for being able to write about it.

Edit- their = there.

[ironbaby]

I agree with pippacricket. I think it would be especially hard for someone who is active and adventurous to suddenly be sedentary and totally dependent. I don't think it's up to anyone to judge another person's quality of life.

Maybe there is more he could have done, but it would have been way too Disney Princess for love to come into his life and change everything. I think love enhances your life; it shouldn't define it.

I do agree, though, that maybe his loving her cemented his decision because he didn't want to ensnare her.

[ceejay]

I read this book in about 3 days. I was pretty much hooked right away, and I'm a fast reader. However, like others have said, I found it to be a little too Nicholas Sparks-ish and predictable for my taste. I also had seen some comments about the movie on facebook before reading, which kind of spoiled the ending for me.

I have mixed feelings about his decision at the end. I've never been against physician assisted suicide, and I think it was his right to decide to end his life if he wanted to. But the 6 month date felt so contrived and just in place to give the book more suspense. It wasn't like he had a disease like Parkinson's or Alzheimers that was getting progressively worse, where there would have been a sense of actual urgency to end his life before he was unable to make that decision anymore. He was fairly stable, though I understand that he was in some physical pain daily. He could have still chosen suicide but given himself more time with Louisa and his family.

[onesweetworld]

Shit. I'm not done. Nor was I captivated by the first two chapters. I don't know if I'll finish.

[ceejay]

My other issue with Will's decision was that it seemed like a large deciding factor for him was that he couldn't "live the life he wanted." I think he even worded it that way when having the conversation with Louisa on their vacation. Yes, he could be happy with Louisa but it wouldn't have been the life he always wanted, so therefore it wasn't worth living. If you carry this idea too far, you're left with the concept that if you can't live the life you "always wanted" then you should just kill yourself. Rather than even try to see the merit in a different life than what you had envisioned.

I have a friend who became a quadriplegic at the age of 30. It's been 10 years since the accident that paralyzed her, and I'm sure she isn't living the life she "always dreamed of." But she has a loving husband and daughter (who was actually born 5 years after her accident) and a very full life. She has always had a lot of support, and while I'm sure there are days/weeks/months that aren't easy, she has been able to find joy in her life now. To me, it felt like Will could have found joy in the life he could have had with Louisa, but he was not willing to even consider another life than the one he thought he wanted. He seemed very close minded to consider other ideas of what life could be like.

[ceejay]

Jun 22, 2016 14:04:00 GMT -5 @yaga said:

Jun 22, 2016 13:53:29 GMT -5 ceejay said:

I read this book in about 3 days. I was pretty much hooked right away, and I'm a fast reader. However, like others have said, I found it to be a little too Nicholas Sparks-ish and predictable for my taste. I also had seen some comments about the movie on facebook before reading, which kind of spoiled the ending for me.

I have mixed feelings about his decision at the end. I've never been against physician assisted suicide, and I think it was his right to decide to end his life if he wanted to. But the 6 month date felt so contrived and just in place to give the book more suspense. It wasn't like he had a disease like Parkinson's or Alzheimers that was getting progressively worse, where there would have been a sense of actual urgency to end his life before he was unable to make that decision anymore. He was fairly stable, though I understand that he was in some physical pain daily. He could have still chosen suicide but given himself more time with Louisa and his family.

I see your point, but at the same time - how would more time help him? His family would have had more time WITH him and Louisa would have had longer to think she might be able to change his mind. I think their grief and despair would just be greater because they would have false hope.

I had to try pretty hard to avoid spoilers! It was all over my instagram right when I was reading it. What I gathered from the previews is that they did get to go on a pretty nice vacation.

Yes, I agree that more time wouldn't necessarily have helped him. It would have been harder on Louisa to say goodbye after even more time with Will. But the "6 months till death" just seemed really arbitrary (since he wasn't getting progressively worse) and like the author just included that to give the book a sense of urgency.

[anaberry]

Jun 22, 2016 9:59:30 GMT -5 pippacricket said:

I've read that there's a lot of backlash from the disabled community about this book and movie. I'm curious what you all think about this as well.

My friend in my aug15 board loathes everything about the message this sends to the families of the disabled - she went on a rampage on Facebook about why everyone should boycott the movie and book.
Her daughter was born with spina bifida, so I understand where she's coming from. Enough to boycott? I wouldn't say so. If anything I think it's a good springboard for conversations one needs to have... But that's me.