FFFC- significant other edition

[Andrea]

I saw this on SAIF and thought we could give it a whirl. If your significant other was telling us their FFFC what would it be?

[Andrea]

Until yesterday I thought a blue line on diapers meant automatic diaper change. Sometimes if the baby had two to three drops come out during diaper changes I would throw out a brand new diaper...cause BLUE LINE!!!

--Mr. Andrea

[babyzebra]

From Mr. Babyzebra so far today:

- I mocked my wife to many, many coworkers when she called me at work crying at 4 AM this morning because there was a damn frog in the house. I will continue to mock her for eternity about this situation.

- I have jokingly asked my wife if she feels like the baby is going to come today about 20 times. I think it's hilarious.

- I gave DS a cookie this morning right after my wife had brushed his teeth.

- I farted and blamed it on the dog.

[vivela]

I'm pretty sure Mr. Vivela's would be that he still, nearly three weeks in, hasn't quite figured out how to hold the baby without acting like it is a bomb that will go off at any second.

[nymama917]

From NYdada..

Me: hum can you grab me a pair of socks for the baby they are in the basket in the hallway.

Him: not listening at all because he's texting his friend goes into the bedroom and grabs a pair of DD1 socks.

Me: those are DD1 they are not going to work DD2 are in the hall.

Him: still not paying attention grabs a pair that were like 6-12 month sized.

Me: ok that was the right spot but can you go in and find the smallest pair you can find.

Him: does color matter?

Me: I guess not. So he brings a pair that doesn't even remotely match. Grrrrr

[Flair Underwood]

From Mr. Milf/underwood:
When I decide what reason the baby is crying about - I will try for an hour to resolve that issue but never try anything else. For example: when I decided the baby had gas issues, I tried to burp him for 10 minutes when he woke up crying from a 2 hour nap before changing his diaper or giving him to my wife to feed.

Also - I don't understand why what I want to do won't calm the baby and it pisses me off. I want to sit here and read, so the baby should contentedly just rock. When he wants to be walked instead, I hand him back to my wife.

[greysonsmom]

From Greyson's dad

I was so excited to have a 5 week long paternity leave but I secretly can't wait to go back to work. Dealing with the kids 24/7 is exhausting!

[chriskoo]

From Mr. Chriskoo:
Until recently I thought the cervix was a part of the throat. Took baby class and learned that a cervix is not the same body part as the larynx.

[GOmamab15]

From GOdad15: I don't understand how to put a toilet seat down. I can put it up just fine though.

[bighair12]

From mr big hair
Why should I put the toilet seat up to pee? You never put it up for me?

Then please wipe the pee off the seat.

Well that defeats the purpose of not wanting to bend down to pick up the seat.

This after I lost it after sitting in pee for the millionth time.

[titania]

From Mr. Titania (or I guess that would be Oberon )

I didn't realize how weirdly shaped babies heads were after they were born and I felt the need to confirm with every medical professional we came in contact with at the hospital that her head would indeed be normally shaped after some time.

[mymilkshake]

H and I went out to run an errand without baby today and someone asked when I was due. H told I had a baby 5 days ago...awkward. But then H continues to harp on it. "We should go out for drinks and everyone will think your pregnant drinking!!" Oh haha Mr Milkshake. A simple "hun you look great would've sufficed rather than laughing about me still lookin pregnant. Are men literally missing a piece of their brain?

[woodengirl07]

Woodenguy07- "was unclear if I needed to wash bottles before sterilizing them"

[Andrea]

These are fabulous-- keep them coming!!!

[cattuccino]

Dadduccino:

I'm so tired. Even though I get at least 2x as much sleep as my lovely wife since I sleep while she is breastfeeding.

[cattuccino]

Dadduccino:

Hasn't thrown out a dirty diaper Since DS was born. I just leave them on the change table. They magically disappear somehow.

[cattuccino]

Dadduccino:

No idea that baby boners were a thing.

[manybellsdown]

Jun 25, 2016 2:09:39 GMT -5 cattuccino said:

Dadduccino:

Hasn't thrown out a dirty diaper Since DS was born. I just leave them on the change table. They magically disappear somehow.

Yes! What is with this?

[babyzebra]

I have to share this story about DH and this seems like the appropriate thread. So when I got to the hospital the nurse did a cervical check and this is the conversation DH and I had afterwords.

DH: she must be really experienced to know how dilated you are with just her fingers

Me: (with confused look) what do you mean?

DH: well she didn't use any kind of instrument and she could tell how dilated you were

Me: Did you think there was some kind of cervical ruler?? Everyone does it with just their fingers. That's how it's done.

DH: Well that just doesn't seem accurate. There should be a ruler

Me: ....

I don't know what to do with him sometimes!

[shoogars]

Mr. Shoogars:

My wife allows me to go to the gym at night. So I think the best time to leave is before the kids bedtime. Because putting A three and four Year old to bed while you have a fussy newborn is super easy.

I also find it necessary to use the bathroom whenever we get home from somewhere. I must stay in there for at least 30 minutes and I often tell my wife it took so long because my leg fell asleep.

[mymilkshake]

Jun 25, 2016 17:24:32 GMT -5 babyzebra said:

I have to share this story about DH and this seems like the appropriate thread. So when I got to the hospital the nurse did a cervical check and this is the conversation DH and I had afterwords.

DH: she must be really experienced to know how dilated you are with just her fingers

Me: (with confused look) what do you mean?

DH: well she didn't use any kind of instrument and she could tell how dilated you were

Me: Did you think there was some kind of cervical ruler?? Everyone does it with just their fingers. That's how it's done.

DH: Well that just doesn't seem accurate. There should be a ruler

Me: ....

I don't know what to do with him sometimes!

Lol! I just read this aloud to my husband, and not surprisingly he agreed with mr. Zebra!