question for STM with twins

[julie216]

Hi Ladies.... I have a question for mom's who had a toddler when their twins arrived.

When did you deliver?  How challenging was it to care for your toddler towards the end of
pregnancy.  Did you end up on bed rest?  My DD will be 21 months when the twins arrive,
providing I make it to 38 weeks.  Any tips or advice will be greatly appreciated!

Tks!

[anotherdreamer]

My DS was 2.5y old when my twins arrived. Not going to lie, it was hard, BUT it is manageable. People do it all the time.

I made it to 38w4d, only a brief stint of bed rest at 28w due to dehydration and contractions (spent 12 hours in L&D, got a lot of fluid and 2 shots of Brethine). I was not on bed rest later on, but I was very limited physically. After my L&D stay, I had to be more careful because just walking around the grocery store would cause contractions, if I got behind in my water it would start contractions back up (had to get down a gallon a day). I was still able to lift my toddler at 38w, not the best idea though lol- I very rarely did it, just for diaper changes and into bed, things like that. I had to delegate most of the stuff to DH, so he took over the bed time routine, baths, he took over care when he came home from work, plus most housework, and I spent a lot of time parenting from the couch unfortunately. The tail end of the pregnancy is the hardest. It was hard on my DS, but we tried to figure out things that we could do at home- coloring books for him, or reading a book on the couch, watching a movie together, meals were free range rather than me lifting him into his high chair, etc... and the big stuff, DH helped with or did outright. I still got out and could do things at the end, I just had to really listen to my body.

After that there were some adjustments as well, DS was very confused- I was in the hospital for 4 days, he didn't understand why I was gone and was very scared I would disappear again. We tried to explain, but he really didn't understand. After that, there was a lot of jealousy. It got better, but the first month especially was an adjustment with the new babies, BFing them, and DS adjusting to having them with us (and dealing with his adjusting).

[rayray007]

DD was 3.5 when I delivered at 38 weeks. I wasn't on bed rest but I was off work and my physical abilities were pretty limited. We worked hard at teaching her independence early in the pregnancy- like going to the bathroom, getting in and out of the tub, getting into her car seat, and dressing herself. I would tell her that soon mommys belly would be too big and I wouldn't be strong enough to help her and she needed to do things on her own. At the end of pg, if I had to take care of her myself, there was a lot of screen time- I won't lie. The last week my mom was here to help. But with a younger toddler it will be much more difficult I imagine.

[julie216]

anotherdreamer, rayray007, thank you for your responses. It is very reassuring to me that both of you made it to the 38 week mark with toddlers at home. at 17 weeks I am already starting to feel a bit out of breath going up and down the stairs carrying DD. Will have to start teaching her to walk down the stairs holding my hand soon. i know its going to be a challenge, but I also know the joy will far outweigh those challenges. Especially after suffering through IF for years!

Thanks again!

[chiwifey]

Great post julie216 I'll be following!

[carrotcake]

My oldest was 3y2m when the twins were born at 34w. I wasn't on bed rest, but did spent a weekend in the hospital around 32w when I developed mild pre-e. (The pre-e never progressed, which is rare. My water broke spontaneously).

We kept the big one's schedule as normal as possible - he stayed w my mom while I was in the hospital but still went to daycare every day. The twins were in the NICU for 13 days, which is pretty normal for their GA.

MH was and still is an enormous help. He took over bath and bed when I was pg and we tag team the three of them now (the twins are 19mo and the big one is almost 5, so it's completely doable on your own at this point).

[SassyPants150]

Great post! My DD just turned 3 a few weeks ago. This terrifies me!

[blueberries8]

In the same boat also! DD is 19 months and I am 30 weeks. I can say at this point I am pretty limited. I am about to begin working from home. DH is pretty much totally in charge of bathtime, diaper changes, and feeding DD in the evenings. We have a babysitter that helps me on the evenings when DH doesn't get home until after DD goes to bed. We also have regular cleaning help. We live abroad with no immediate family around so my mom is coming to stay with us next week and will be around for the next two months. So far I have needed quite a bit of help and I am pretty anxious about what it will be like once the babies arrive, especially for DD. I worry about her getting short-changed or feeling ignored.

[julie216]

So relieved to hear I'm not the only one with these fears! Aside from the concerns of caring for DD as I get further along, I too worry about her getting short changed when the twins arrive. I know women do it all the time, but it still worries me! Thanks for the responses and support!