Talk to me about toddler tantrums and the word no

[liziz]

I can tell you what we do in our house...
I give her choices that are win-win for me (like "Do you want to walk to the changing table or should I carry you?) I give her until the count of 3 to decide, and then I decide for her. She usually starts moving right after I start counting.
We also tell her regularly we cannot understand when she screams/cries/whines. "Please use your nice voice and your nice words so that I can understand you."
Also, "I'm happy to XX (play with you, get dinner, etc.), when you're all done crying" and just set her down in her room to cry for a bit.

[walterjenne]

Melt downs means we ignore him and when they are really bad, we put him in his room. He knows he's not allowed to come out until he's calmed down. We also offer choices when possible, as long as both are good options for us.

We still get a ton of meltdowns and attitude when he doesn't like the rules or he's just done with everything. Basically when he doesn't feel in control things get worse l, but he's just learning and getting used to boundaries and his own independence. Some days are better than others, but I try not to cave because his attitude gets worse that way.

[honeybee434]

So. Much. Attitude. In. One. Little. Body.

That's all I have to say right now about all of the above.

[mamanorris]

L was so naughty at camp, he has discovered a love of throwing. Like throwing balls into the weeds so we have to chase and find them and throwing rocks at the van. Also time outs are super fun and he laughs and giggles during them.

[lucanjo14]

My kid is a hitter/scratcher/pincher/temper tantrum thrower. He definitely does it when he's frustrated; he also likes to test his limits with the hitting and pinching. We've tried the "use your words I can't understand you when you're whining" technique, as well as just removing him from the situation and sitting him down for a few seconds. Sometimes he just laughs and thinks it's funny so I hate to admit but sometimes we end up yelling. (Especially when the baby is the victim of the hitting/pinching) I'm hoping he will grow out of this phase soon.

[olive]

L says no to everything. Even when he means yes he'll say no. Then quickly switch the answer to a yes. We are lucky he's not really a tantrum thrower and if he does he just gets ignored completely. We just power through whatever we are doing. I hold him down and change him or just keep on shopping while he screams. I really don't care if people stare. He isn't mean when he tantrums thank god. I would flip my shit if I had to deal with that and most definitely yell.

[lablover13]

If C is in full blown melt down I tell her to take deep breaths and calm down. It usually works (surprisingly). I will keep telling her to do it and demonstrate until she does. She will take about 10 deep breaths and tell me "all done crying" and at that point I will re-engage with her about whatever she was so upset about. The only way to get her to do something she doesn't want to do is to count to 3, but that seems to not be working as well the last few days. Occasionally she will get yelled at as a last resort, especially if she is hitting or being destructive in some way.