Is anyone else not back yet but planning to go back? My company gave me 24 weeks maternity leave, so I am due back August 11th. I understand all the rational thinking that went into my decision to go back but as we get closer to the date and are starting to look at nannies I am really struggling with the emotional piece of doing it.
H doesn't understand at all and my mom is being so mean about it as well (slightly separate issue). I have a really good job that is being very flexible with me. I work from home, I can do PT, they have agreed to no travel (which used to be part of my job), they are clearly doing everything to make it easy for me to com back and I really do feel lucky and grateful. It also makes sense financially.
But that also doesn't stop me from crying when we got to look at nannies and I just feel irrationally upset at the thought of someone else watching LO.
I don't know exactly what I am looking for here but I just feel so upset about it which I know isn't really rational. I have it really good and I know that. I thought with the longer leave I would feel better about going back.
Totally normal. Don't quit on an emotional day. If it make sense for your family, go back and try it. The first day is the hardest and then it gets easier. It sounds like your work is very accommodating. Give it a fair shot and if you find you'd prefer to stay home and your DH is on the same page, you can always give notice. Plus you won't owe back any benefits you had during leave.
I work FT and it allows us to do things we wouldn't be able to do otherwise. Having another retirement income is something we have for the future. My oldest has learned so much from his dc teachers. It has been a very positive experience for our family.
I might be the odd ball here. I wasn't sad about returning to work. Of course I miss my little guy when I'm away but for me my work is something I need in my life. Im glad that I am PT and I can create a flexible schedule, this allows me to still work but be home twice a wk. I think it's a bit easier for us because we have family who take care of LO. I might feel differently if it were a stranger. Don't feel bad momma, you're not alone. Being a mother is an emotional job 24/7
I'm a school counselor so I took off the end of the school year plus the summer. I go back full time August 8, so just over five months. She will be going to the same daycare that DD1 has gone to since three months (she's three now) and they will be across the hall from each other. I'm having a hard time with the thought of leaving her though even having done this before. She's so sweet and chill and I've enjoyed being home with her. I'm worried about her doing bottles and how well she will nap.
I know that she will be in good hands and that she will adjust after a couple of weeks. I keep reminding myself that the anticipation of going back is usually the worst. After being away from work for so long I know it will be hard to get in the swing of things again but we will be okay. It doesn't help that the first couple of weeks for us at school are insanely busy and I won't be able to work late like I've done in the past so I will feel some guilt for that. I just can't have her start daycare and be away from her for super long days right away. It's hard when you feel torn between home and work. Being a working mom is tough but it gets easier and I know that it's the right choice for me. I know that I have no real desire to be a sahm in the long run. Give it time, don't give up on a bad day, and you should be fine!
I nannied for a family for a while that the mom worked from home part time and went to the office part time. I know it was really hard for her to leave her baby with me at first. She was 4 months old when I started. I think what helped them was having me start part time 2-3 weeks before she had to go back to work. I went in like 3-4 hours a day and we got to know each other. She also got to see me in action with the baby. She didn't feel as much like she was leaving her baby with a stranger when it was time to start work. After the first week or so, she started leaving for a little while at a time to ease into leaving. She'd run to the grocery store or the gym for a while, but she could always come home if she wanted to. I'm just giving you a scenario that worked for this family to feel more comfortable leaving their baby with a nanny. Maybe that would make you feel a little better about it?
I just posted pretty much the same thing on my local board yesterday. I go back in August and I feel like I can't possibly leave him. I was near tears and sick to my stomach thinking about it the other night. I never envisioned being a SAHM and rationally I know I need to work, but the rational side of me has flown the coop.
Thanks everyone. halfahippy I like that idea for the stranger part. The other piece I just need to suck up. I will eventually be a SAHM but it just makes too much sense to not try it. We don't need to live on my income, so besides childcare we can use the rest to furnish our new house and rebuild the savings we put towards the down payment. Then when we feel comfortable with our cushion again I can see if I want to stay working. I know it will be easier when I am doing it, it just seems so sad right now thinking about it.
Post by DanaScullyX on Jul 10, 2016 1:33:28 GMT -5
I'm a teacher so I'm going back when the new year starts, which for me is August 29. DD will be 6.5 months. I am lucky that my mom is going to retire and watch her, but I'm still dreading it.
I'm a teacher so I'm going back when the new year starts, which for me is August 29. DD will be 6.5 months. I am lucky that my mom is going to retire and watch her, but I'm still dreading it.
+1 to the teacher going back to work. I have 2 days of inservice the week of August 22, then it's back for real starting the 30th which is when J will start day care. Summer is going way too fast, and I have no desire to go back to work. Sigh. There will be tears.
Post by michelleca on Jul 11, 2016 21:15:44 GMT -5
I feel you. I am going back to work in March, and dreading it already. I had the best nanny ever for DS but now she's moved about 40 minutes away (without traffic) so it doesn't make sense for next year. I am just dreading making plans and the adjustment period. I will say though, that it got easy to leave ds with his nanny, I enjoyed going to work part time, and he enjoyed himself as well. So at least give it a shot! I found I enjoyed my time at home even more on the days i was off.
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