Help me be a good neighbor

[barefoot84]

I wouldn't worry at all about not serving alcohol. You can do something simple with fruits and chips and soda/water. It would be a great way to get to know some of your neighbors.

[cicimcstuffins]

I would host something if you like to do that kind of stuff (I do!). I don't think anyone would be upset if alcohol wasn't there (they are a guest and can drink at home). If you are worried it would be an elephant in the room with that crowd maybe you could host a brunch or breakfast?

[ShtsNGiggles]

We recently had a family move in to our neighborhood and they invited everyone over to swim one day. The weather embed up being bad so nobody went, but they rescheduled for this Saturday.

I don't think it's a big deal if you don't serve alcohol, but how would you feel if someone brought their own?

[barefoot84]

If you're worried about people bringing alcohol, you can tell them beforehand that refreshments will be served, so they'll know they're not expected to bring their own. Or you can put a short "alcohol and swimming don't mix" note so they know it's a dry party, but you don't have to give your whole life story to strangers?

[mrsrexmanning]

Host something early in the day. Less of an expectation of drinking. Coffee and muffins.

[mrsrexmanning]

Personally I wouldn't show up for breakfast with a six pack, but I definitely would for an afternoon party.

[Justbecause]

Love the breakfast idea.
A bagel bar, fresh OJ, coffee.

[yogini kiki]

@clgsquared, I think too that people abstain from alcohol nowadays for so many reasons....I don't assume anything when someone tells me they don't drink alcohol.

I think you are awesome and I would love to come to your party. I wouldn't miss the booze one bit.

[lilorangekitty]

I also love the breakfast/ brunch idea. People can pop in, visit, then pop out and get on with their day.

[cicimcstuffins]

From a social standpoint I don't think many people would show up to someone's house (that they don't know) with alcohol in the morning. That would be a no-no.
Since they are neighbors, if by chance someone did, you could be like 'oh that is so sweet of you, but we actually don't drink or keep alcohol in the house. Thank you for thinking of us though!' Then they could just run it home since they are right there, so it wouldn't need to stay.

[Deleted]

Yeah I think if it is at 10:30 or 11 am and brunch then no one would assume alcohol. But you probably want to put something on the invite to let them know this is not a housewarming or that you don't want gifts because people bring a bottle of wine for a new home.  So if someone asks you can direct them to bringing either nothing or a side dish type thing. 

[redbears]

I just wanted to add that I only bring alcohol to someone's house if I'm asked to or if I know for a fact the host drinks. We have a lot of non-drinkers in our lives, so I err on the safe side

[Deleted]

I typically bring a bottle of wine to a housewarming party, whether it's in the day or evening. Perhaps I thought stop doing that.

[Cherhorowitz]

Jul 14, 2016 14:22:54 GMT -5 @hilarityensued said:

"Come take a dunk and have some donuts"


There, you have your invite theme. Anyone that shows up to a mid-morning or late morning breakfast type party with booze is... weird.

I love the breakfast idea but, um, I usually bring a bottle of champagne if someone is hosting a breakfast/brunch. Mimosas. I didn't know that was weird.

[Deleted]

I would especially bring a bottle of wine or champagne to the house of someone I didn't know. Because I wouldn't want to show up empty handed.

I never thought anything of it. Perhaps I should've.

[Deleted]

One time I brought some lettuce plants in a pot to a housewarming party and the people acted like it was the weirdest thing ever. That's what put me back on the "only give wine" gift plan.

[cbrandt1]

Jul 14, 2016 14:57:11 GMT -5 Cherhorowitz said:

Jul 14, 2016 14:22:54 GMT -5 @hilarityensued said:

"Come take a dunk and have some donuts"


There, you have your invite theme. Anyone that shows up to a mid-morning or late morning breakfast type party with booze is... weird.

I love the breakfast idea but, um, I usually bring a bottle of champagne if someone is hosting a breakfast/brunch. Mimosas. I didn't know that was weird.

This was my thought. We like mimosas and bloody Mary's for breakfast/brunch.

If it's a "party", alcohol is assumed in our group. Are you going to send invites? If so, just note it on them and then you won't have to worry about it.

I know my husband would make things super awkward if he didn't know alcohol was sensitive. He has little tact and we are working on it. If you had it in an invite, there'd be no reason for guests to question it when they arrive. You don't have to tell people why, just that you don't have/want it in your home.

[Justbecause]

We've started doing flowers or a dessert for housewarming.
We used to go with wine but it's awkward when the person doesn't drink.

[pmj]

Lurker here who just registered to chime in to this thread. I'm also sober and just wanted to say I totally relate to your predicament. I'm not sure how long you have been sober, but in my experience I've found that my not drinking is a much bigger deal to me than it is to anybody else. I usually prepare some script in my head and then never need it because nobody gives a shit if I'm not drinking. I love the breakfast idea!

[sassypantzz]

Jul 14, 2016 14:51:28 GMT -5 @bruxannie said:

I typically bring a bottle of wine to a housewarming party, whether it's in the day or evening. Perhaps I thought stop doing that.

Me too.  I clearly need to re-evalute.  I guess I always just figured if they don't drink, they are bound to entertain someone who does.  I never thought of it like this.  Perspective, man. I need a new dinner and housewarming gift asap. @clgsquared, what is the favorite thing you have received?

[abvintage]

Host all the things. You're good.

[Cherhorowitz]

My go-to housewarming gift is a Mark and Graham serving tray with their address on it. Someone gave it to us when we moved in and it's been one of my favorite gifts.

[mrsrexmanning]

I also think you can invite and say no booze without saying those words.

'Just bring your swimsuits and an appetite'
'We'll provide all refreshments'
Etc. etc.

[kbw12]

Jul 14, 2016 15:55:52 GMT -5 mrsrexmanning said:

I also think you can invite and say no booze without saying those words.

'Just bring your swimsuits and an appetite'
'We'll provide all refreshments'
Etc. etc.

I was going to say this. You could easily tell them that in a non-blunt way that you would provide all the food and drinks.

I would also invite someone who you trust who can handle any alcohol that you may receive.

[k3am]

We are of the type to bring a bottle of wine. If it's in the morning, it would be for mimosas.

I think it's perfectly okay to turn down any alcohol. You don't have to go into details with anyone - you don't owe them to anyone - simply decline politely and explain that you don't allow alcohol in your home. Anyone worth having will leave it at that.

[mrsgiantpenis]

Jul 14, 2016 15:52:17 GMT -5 Cherhorowitz said:

My go-to housewarming gift is a Mark and Graham serving tray with their address on it. Someone gave it to us when we moved in and it's been one of my favorite gifts.

Oo we have a house warming to go to soon and I've been trying to figure out what to get. This is perfect! Thanks!

[yogini kiki]

I started doing those fancy olive oils or vinegars. I'll bring like a fancy fig balsamic and write a little tag like "Put me on strawberries!"

[sassypantzz]

Jul 14, 2016 17:56:16 GMT -5 yogini kiki said:

I started doing those fancy olive oils or vinegars. I'll bring like a fancy fig balsamic and write a little tag like "Put me on strawberries!"

This is an excellent idea!

[beenandgone]

Jul 14, 2016 14:42:08 GMT -5 privacy said:

i love the take a dunk have a donut theme.


I also wouldn't assume there'd be or bring my own alcohol no matter the time of day (though maybe that's because many don't drink for religious reasons in our circle )

I really love the dunk with donuts theme. Do you have a Dunkin Donuts nearby to really play up that aspect and play on words? 😉

[ECB]

Jul 14, 2016 15:55:52 GMT -5 mrsrexmanning said:

I also think you can invite and say no booze without saying those words.

'Just bring your swimsuits and an appetite'
'We'll provide all refreshments'
Etc. etc.

This wouldn't work in our neighborhood.    we've hosted parties where we've said "We'll have a keg" and even with that, everyone STILL brings their own beer!  

OP - I will say too- don't overthink the "I don't drink" part.  People aren't going to make as much of it as you may fear.  We have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and it's never, ever been an issue.  He's very up front about it - for one.  But past that, he just gets a water and that's that.

I have another friend who recently gave up drinking for awhile while on a new diet.  She just brought a bottle of water with her wherever she went and if offered a drink, she'd just say "Oh- I brought my own!" and that was that. 

I over drinks (alcohol and non) to be polite.  I don't care what anyone actually drinks.