Daycare guidance

[ker9171]

I'm starting to visit some day care potentials this week and next week. We would probably start 5 days a week when the baby is 3-4 months and I go back to work. I'm totally clueless on daycare... What are some important things for STMs that I should look for or ask on my visit? I know I might be doing this very early, but people told me to get started in case there are waiting lists... And I would rather just do this before I get further along and have other things to worry about. Thanks for any suggestions!!

[emu0013]

Don't visit during nap 11:30-2, visit all the rooms not just infant rooms. You want to see teachers interacting with the children. Tour the kitchen make sure it's clean. Ask about licensing history and violations. Ask how many children the center is licensed for and hopefully it's at a minimum 70% full. Ask about discipline procedures, redirection no time outs. Ask about diaper/food/bottle policies. Ask about teacher tenure. Also ask if the same teachers are in the class rooms for consistency. Ask about the curriculum and how often observations are done. These are what I focused on after working for a large corporate chain of centers in the corporate offices for over 5 years. We were really happy with DD's center.

[lupineaura]

I would suggest not ruling out a home daycare. We had to go with one out of necessity (I work odd hours which sometimes require late pickup), but now I would chose one over a center. Even if you take away the fact that they are more affordable, there are a lot of upsides. There isn't staff turnover, and if you have the right provider, they really do grow to love your kiddo. At least this was my experience. The same woman has been watching my daughter for 2 years now, and every day ends with a hug. Plus, she has been watching babies for 20 years, and really helped ME out as a FTM. Plus, she does all the fingernail trimmings, haha.

The only drawback is I think my daughter watches more TV than she would at a center (I think two shows a day), and I have no way of monitoring that. But, give and take.

I should note home daycares in my area are licensed by the county, so it's fairly regulated.

(I want to make it clear that I'm not saying centers are horrible or that they have bad staff- I think for either option you have to find the right fit. But I want to make sure people aren't dismissing a home daycare out of hand).

[ker9171]

How were you able to find home day cares??

[rocksforludo]

ker9171, The county regulates day care licenses and will likely have a website where you can look up licensed day cares, whether they are centers or in-home.

[chemmom1]

Feb 9, 2015 21:20:00 GMT -5 ker9171 said:

How were you able to find home day cares??

I found a bunch of options by searching online. Many home daycares had a website.

[veenie]

lupineaura I am glad you found a good in home. I wouldn't even consider one because I went to an in home as a kid an ended up watching kids that I was way too young to watch. Burned me on the idea. Also, if you go this route ask about vacation and sick time. My SIL'S in home closes for 2 weeks over Christmas, so she has to find a lot of alternative care, plus sick days (which I think are minimal.)

I will say, I think visiting a daycare will "feel right." We visited 5 at like 13 weeks when I was pregnant with DD. Some we walked in and it just seemed like chaos, or multiple kids were crying, or the playground faced a busy street. The one we chose was peaceful and organized. The staff was joking with each other. It's privately owned, but there are 3 locations, so I felt like they had a good reputation. I will say I feel like the staff genuinely cares about DD.

I would ask about schedules and cirriculum for each room. It was easy for us to follow the same nap routines at home. They helped us potty train in under a week. She isn't 3 and can recognize all numbers and about 50% of the alphabet because of the reading /writing /art time they do every day. It's expensive, but I wouldn't do it ant different.

[emu0013]

Feb 9, 2015 21:52:32 GMT -5 rocksforludo said:

ker9171, The county regulates day care licenses and will likely have a website where you can look up licensed day cares, whether they are centers or in-home.

ker9171, Although the home daycare's are regulated, there are so many that it is hard for the state/county/DHS to get in regularly for inspections and some have not had an inspection in 5 years, because the inspectors are focusing on the ones with complaints filed. After working at the headquarters of a large corporate childcare company, I could share stories that would terrify you, that parents who had bad experiences shared with me.  Don't get me wrong that is not to say that all in home are bad and all centers are good because there is a mix of both, but centers are more inclined to report accidents, etc due to the consequences of losing their license or going on a provisional license. Just be sure to do your homework.

[rocksforludo]

Agreed, the county website is just a place to start -not a list of automatically great places that have been fully vetted for you.

[jezebk]

I definitely don't think it is ever too early to start looking for a daycare. I had a hard time choosing a daycare for my son the first time around...I really wanted to do an in-home one but I had a hard time finding information about them, plus I needed a specific location so I just ended up looking at licensed daycare centers. I toured a few, decided on one but then switched to another one the day before I went into labor. My main reason for switching was a smaller class size and they only had 1 infant room. But I went with the place I felt most comfortable leaving my child. The suggestions by the PP are all good but I would also ask about medicine policy. While I liked the first daycare, they refused to give medications (even Dr. prescribed ones) with the exception of epipens. My current daycare (because we moved) will give medication to the kids as long as you sign off on it and it has a prescription. They may even give over-the-counter meds but I feel if my child needs Tylenol to get through the day, then he probably should stay home so I am not positive on that. The medication policy was really helpful when my child needed a nebulizer during the day.

While most daycare centers will have adequate security, the church daycare center we visited did not, so this may be something you want to think about. I don't want just anyone being able to walk in and get the children. Some daycares also have webcams to allow you to view your child from work. I wish my current daycare did.

[rocksforludo]

Feb 10, 2015 7:47:27 GMT -5 @ashtastic said:

Have you considered adopting someone's grandma? We use that term around our HOA and constantly have messages being sent through our neighborhood listserv for these things. There are lots of empty nesters and previous SAHM's who would love to take care of a LO again. I would explore these kind of options before a day care center. Have you checked Care.com for a nanny who would watch LO within your own home? Ask around your church, schools, neighbors for referrals and to help spread the word.

If you do go the SAHM/grandma route, ask them if they are going to be reporting the income to the IRS (they should).  If they don't, it could get awkward come tax time when you want their SSN/Tax ID number so you can claim the childcare tax credit.  This happened to a friend of mine.

[onceinlovewithamy]

Feb 9, 2015 21:25:08 GMT -5 thirdtimemomma said:

Do you know other moms? Get recommendations. I like to pop in instead of making an appointment - it shouldn't matter to them.  

I would look into "just popping in" before you actually do that.  That is highly frowned upon in my area because 1. daycares are secure buildings with security codes.  You can't just walk in and 2. they have shit to do.  A day care director isn't sitting around all day waiting for someone to show up;  they are constantly monitoring classroom ratios, covering classrooms while teachers take breaks, doing paper work, etc etc.  Just be polite-- call and make an appointment.  

[ker9171]

Thanks everyone for all the amazing suggestions!!!! I made appointments already at 6 places. I will also look for some home day cares and will see what happens on my first visit!

[rocksforludo]

Feb 10, 2015 17:47:10 GMT -5 thirdtimemomma said:

Feb 10, 2015 10:18:57 GMT -5 onceinlovewithamy said:

I would look into "just popping in" before you actually do that.  That is highly frowned upon in my area because 1. daycares are secure buildings with security codes.  You can't just walk in and 2. they have shit to do.  A day care director isn't sitting around all day waiting for someone to show up;  they are constantly monitoring classroom ratios, covering classrooms while teachers take breaks, doing paper work, etc etc.  Just be polite-- call and make an appointment.  

Good point.  I like to pop in because I want to see the real deal.  Yes, Ive always been let in because they are secure buildings.  I'm not sure if you've ever had experience at a poorly run day care but unfortunately I have and I'm more skeptical because of it - I want a center who has an open door policy and has nothing to hide and isn't upset by the drop in.  Bad experience example - the director was always filling in because her staff didn't show up to work and dropping off DD days when they were clearly way out of ratio.  If someone called to schedule an appointment they may never see those things.  That is where my advice came from.

Dropping in as a parent with a kid there is different than dropping in as someone who is completely unknown to them. You should always be able to go to your kids' daycare whenever.

Make an appointment to tour a center.

[onceinlovewithamy]

Feb 10, 2015 17:47:10 GMT -5 thirdtimemomma said:

Feb 10, 2015 10:18:57 GMT -5 onceinlovewithamy said:

I would look into "just popping in" before you actually do that.  That is highly frowned upon in my area because 1. daycares are secure buildings with security codes.  You can't just walk in and 2. they have shit to do.  A day care director isn't sitting around all day waiting for someone to show up;  they are constantly monitoring classroom ratios, covering classrooms while teachers take breaks, doing paper work, etc etc.  Just be polite-- call and make an appointment.  

Good point.  I like to pop in because I want to see the real deal.  Yes, Ive always been let in because they are secure buildings.  I'm not sure if you've ever had experience at a poorly run day care but unfortunately I have and I'm more skeptical because of it - I want a center who has an open door policy and has nothing to hide and isn't upset by the drop in.  Bad experience example - the director was always filling in because her staff didn't show up to work and dropping off DD days when they were clearly way out of ratio.  If someone called to schedule an appointment they may never see those things.  That is where my advice came from.

I tried to do this when I was looking at daycares and I got turned away every single time.  I had to call, make an appointment and give some information before I could go in.  Honestly, as a parent, I am glad you have to make an appointment to tour where my child is, so any Tom Dick or Harry can't stroll through for a "tour".   That makes me feel more comfortable. 

Most daycares, once you are enrolled, have a completely open door policy.  As a parent, I have the access code and I can go in whenever I need to.  I have to a couple times because we forgot his napper at home, or left his milk cup on the counter, or this that or the other thing.  

[mierca]

Feb 9, 2015 20:58:06 GMT -5 ker9171 said:

...I know I might be doing this very early, but people told me to get started in case there are waiting lists... And I would rather just do this before I get further along and have other things to worry about. Thanks for any suggestions!!

You are definitely not starting too early. In my area, many infant wait lists are 15 months long. Yes, that's right, you have to get on the list before you're even pregnant if you need it at 3 months.

With DD, I started looking during 1st tri and put myself on about 4 pointless wait lists (all with non-refundable deposits). I finally found a place that had more infant/baby rooms for quicker transitioning and about a 6-month lead time. I never did hear from any of the others, including the ones at work and at DH's work where we had "priority".

This time, I got on a wait list while I was miscarrying (wait would have been too long for that pregnancy) and they let me keep the spot. Glad to skip one of the most stressful parts of pregnancy this time around.

Good luck!

[ker9171]

Thank you all! The two places we saw this morning are very "open door" for current parents. But I'm glad we made appts. One place was great- it's called bright horizons and I think they have locations all over. Seemed professional and organized and very thorough. The other place we visited it seemed odd to me that no one was at the front desk for the first 15 mins we were just standing there waiting. Another parent let us in the door. Makes me wonder what the director was doing during that time? We did have a scheduled appt. I also don't feel she explained things as thoroughly. Maybe I'm over reading it but it was just something I noticed after I went to bright horizons where we were greeted right away by the assistant director and they seemed more "together".

[purpleroses]

Feb 10, 2015 9:42:24 GMT -5 rocksforludo said:

Feb 10, 2015 7:47:27 GMT -5 @ashtastic said:

Have you considered adopting someone's grandma? We use that term around our HOA and constantly have messages being sent through our neighborhood listserv for these things. There are lots of empty nesters and previous SAHM's who would love to take care of a LO again. I would explore these kind of options before a day care center. Have you checked Care.com for a nanny who would watch LO within your own home? Ask around your church, schools, neighbors for referrals and to help spread the word.

If you do go the SAHM/grandma route, ask them if they are going to be reporting the income to the IRS (they should).  If they don't, it could get awkward come tax time when you want their SSN/Tax ID number so you can claim the childcare tax credit.  This happened to a friend of mine.

FYI, the IRS considers most people who watch your child in your home to be your employee, which means you have to withhold required taxes, give them a W-2 once a year, and pay into Medicare and SS for them.  There are exceptions if you are using someone only occasionally and pay them below a certain $ amount (usually will not be the case if you have someone watching your child while you work full-time).  We have a nanny because it works best for our personal situation, but there are pros and cons to nanny vs. daycare, I wouldn't say it's the best option for everyone.     

[rocksforludo]

Feb 11, 2015 13:55:16 GMT -5 purpleroses said:

Feb 10, 2015 9:42:24 GMT -5 rocksforludo said:

If you do go the SAHM/grandma route, ask them if they are going to be reporting the income to the IRS (they should).  If they don't, it could get awkward come tax time when you want their SSN/Tax ID number so you can claim the childcare tax credit.  This happened to a friend of mine.

FYI, the IRS considers most people who watch your child in your home to be your employee, which means you have to withhold required taxes, give them a W-2 once a year, and pay into Medicare and SS for them.  There are exceptions if you are using someone only occasionally and pay them below a certain $ amount (usually will not be the case if you have someone watching your child while you work full-time).  We have a nanny because it works best for our personal situation, but there are pros and cons to nanny vs. daycare, I wouldn't say it's the best option for everyone.     

Sorry, yes absolutely this for nannies in your home. 

I was talking more about non-licensed home daycares where they're watching a kid or two for a little extra money.  My friend dropped her daughter off at a SAHM neighbor's house as the neighbor lady already stayed home with her two kids.  Then when it came tax time the neighbor lady got kind of shifty about giving friend her SSN for the tax credit as she wasn't going to report that income.