WWA16D - Baptism

[renbee]

So, family have started asking MH and I about getting DS baptized. DH and I are very conflicted about what we want to do.

Background: I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school for grade school and high school. Started realizing as I got older that I didn't agree with many viewpoints of the Church (mainly related to gay marriage and contraception). Stopped regularly going to mass as an adult, but did end up having a Catholic wedding because it was important to my family. DH grew up Methodist and his mom is fairly religious.

We do not attend any religious services as a couple, and haven't even gone to church on Christmas in a few years. However, we both definitely identify as Christians, believe in God, etc. We both feel that growing up with religion provided a good moral foundation for our lives, and think it teaches good lessons to children.

So we are torn. We are feeling pressure to get DS baptized, but we don't really know where or what denomination we would do it in. I feel uncomfortable with the thought of standing up in front of a church and committing my son to a religion that I don't truly practice, and in the case of Catholicism don't entirely agree with. But I want to introduce the idea of god and religious teachings to DS. DH says he doesn't care and will do whatever I think is best.

What would you do? Have any of you baptized your LOs or are planning to? Anyone dealing with similar feelings? 

[wineallthetime]

Honestly, in that situation I think I would hold off on baptising and still bring up your LO in the church since you said having that foundation and morals is important to you. You can always choose to baptise later. I wouldn't baptise just to make family happy.

[wineallthetime]

Jul 22, 2016 16:01:07 GMT -5 gooselover2012 said:

Jul 22, 2016 15:52:45 GMT -5 wineallthetime said:

Honestly, in that situation I think I would hold off on baptising and still bring up your LO in the church since you said having that foundation and morals is important to you. You can always choose to baptise later. I wouldn't baptise just to make family happy.

This is what I am leaning towards for our family.  Having her baptized now is not going to make her any more or less religious.  I would like her to explore her faith and decide for herself where to get baptized and in what faith.

Not do what my parents did.....

My mom was Catholic and my dad was Lutheran.  They couldn't decide so they baptized me Catholic and my brother Lutheran.

Well that's.... unique!

[jags8]

Former Christian here, so I guess take what I say as that. But if you don't agree with the Catholic teachings, I don't think you should baptize him as such. Especially if it's just to please people. If you really want to baptize him, find a church that you agree with. Just putting this out there, but the UCC is a liberal denomination.

[jags8]

Oh and I can somewhat relate because I'm nervous that relatives are going to start asking about DS being baptized, and we aren't planning to at all, obviously.

[Courtniko]

I am not religious, but was somewhat raised "general" Christian, DH is Catholic. We did baptise DD, and are baptising DS in a few weeks, both in the Catholic church. We are not going to push them to be Catholic, but we will likley have them somewhat involved (I can not think of a good word right now) while growing up, at least until they choose otherwise. I am probably of no help, but I guess my feeling was, just because we are doing it, it does not force the kids into the religion, they are still free to choose later on. Maybe that is a bad way to look at it though.

[RNCrystal]

I could have written your exact post ( except we didn't have Catholic wedding) we've been talking about finding a church we both feel comfortable in since I've been pregnant but have yet to do so. We definitely want LO baptized but I would like to find a church and attend regularly before doing so. Guess we should get on that. Our families are asking too

[creepyeyeball]

I am a Christian, but we do not practice infant baptism. We have done child dedications with our church, which is basically us standing in front pf the congregation and vowing to bring our children up in a Christian home and pur church family vowing to support us/hold us accountable in that. Only one of my kids has been baptized. DS1 asked when he was six and DH did it for him in our bathtub. A baptism doesn't have to be a huge spectacle, it can just be a personal vow made with God. Our other kids will be baptized when and if they express interest/can explain to us why they need to be.

If your family gives you grief about this remind them that infant baptism isn't even really a thing in the Bible. You could do a private child dedication if you feel more comfortable with that. And even then, remember that Hannah didn't even dedicate Samuel to the Lord until he was weaned, which back then was closer to age 3-4.

Do what you feel comfortable with. It is your child.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2016 15:45:48 GMT -5 renbee said:

I feel uncomfortable with the thought of standing up in front of a church and committing my son to a religion that I don't truly practice, and in the case of Catholicism don't entirely agree with. 

I would find a church you feel comfortable with. When I was growing up we went to a United Church of Christ which was "open and affirming" towards gay people. If I were to go to church again that's the one I would pick because it was more casual and didn't feel overwhelmingly strict in what you have to believe and take from the bible.

We are not religious and never even thought or considered baptizing the kids.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2016 16:28:04 GMT -5 jags8 said:

Former Christian here, so I guess take what I say as that. But if you don't agree with the Catholic teachings, I don't think you should baptize him as such. Especially if it's just to please people. If you really want to baptize him, find a church that you agree with. Just putting this out there, but the UCC is a liberal denomination.

Just saw this! I went to a UCC church through high school. My friend was baptized when she was like 12. I remember it really well because she was terribly sick and had to run out the side door to barf in the bushes.

[jags8]

Jul 22, 2016 18:09:10 GMT -5 @east said:

Jul 22, 2016 15:45:48 GMT -5 renbee said:

I feel uncomfortable with the thought of standing up in front of a church and committing my son to a religion that I don't truly practice, and in the case of Catholicism don't entirely agree with. 

I would find a church you feel comfortable with. When I was growing up we went to a United Church of Christ which was "open and affirming" towards gay people. If I were to go to church again that's the one I would pick because it was more casual and didn't feel overwhelmingly strict in what you have to believe and take from the bible.

We are not religious and never even thought or considered baptizing the kids.

Are we the same person?

[jags8]

lovemyk when I was growing up going to a UCC church, there were loads of kids. I've been there just a handful of times as an adult, and now there are no longer tons of kids. I don't think it has anything at all to do with what kind of church it is, just that a lot of people are leaving "the church" as a whole. People don't attend church every Sunday like they used to, therefore they are not bringing their kids.

[scotty138]

I would first find a church that you feel is the best fit before having your child baptized. For me, feeling like DS is part of the church community is just as important as the baptism sacrament.

I was raised catholic. DH was not religious. We were married in the Catholic church and attended together. We have really become a part of the church community and have a lot of friends at our church. We had DS1 baptized there and DH went through RCIA to become a baptized and confirmed catholic shortly after. DS2 will be baptized in 2 weeks.

[minae01]

H and I were both raised in strict Catholic households. Neither one of us attend church now because we were both a bit turned off due to our super religious upbringings. We did get married in the Catholic church and had all of our babies baptized in the church because we do eventually want to find a church we are comfortable with. It's important to us to raise our children with some sort of faith base, we just aren't quite sure what that will look like for our family yet. We did the Catholic church baptism because it's what we're familiar with it and we knew it would make our parents happy. Our kids were baptized in H's childhood parish. All of his nieces and nephews were baptized there, too. I guess we just went with tradition and we're both happy with that. We will let our kids decide when they're older, how important religion is to them and what faith they identify with. For now, they are Catholic like everyone in our families!

You should go with your gut. If you're really uncomfortable baptizing him Catholic, don't. Not yet. There's no rush. Tell your family you haven't made a decision yet.

[oreille]

My child was baptized Catholic at 5 or 6 weeks.

I was raised Protestant, but am not religious as an adult. My husband was raised Catholic, and he and his family are very strict (will never miss a Sunday mass for any reason, will attend mass in foreign languages if they have to, only NFP allowed for birth control, my H wouldn't live with me before marriage, etc).

I allowed my son to be baptized because I consider it part of his Irish family culture. I do not think it means he will necessarily grow up to be as religious as they are. But if he does, that's ok.

I do plan to share my own views with him on things that won't match his religious training (marriage equality and birth control, for example).