I feel if you are so sensitive in that one person would run you off from many you hold dear then there is a bigger problem here.
You're on a message board with thousands.
I agree with you on a personal level because I have had many a disagreement and even very long ongoing ones here and on TD and it's never made me want to leave - maybe thick skin, maybe because I feel I have other outlets, maybe because I'm able to compartmentalize.
But I do understand where it could be different for others who have a different personality or mindset so I don't really fault people for wanting or needing to step away. I think it just depends on the person.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
With DS#1 I was in a lot of pain and it was pretty obvious given the severe constipation I had (and a mirror confirmed) - and yes, I googled stuff too.
That was 3 yrs ago and I've never been quite the same but it hasn't ever been as painful as the first time. I have them again with this pregnancy but it isn't really painful. But the blood is giving it away.
Post by bunnyfungo on Aug 10, 2016 21:15:41 GMT -5
Are we still confessing? My MIL just texted me and it warmed my heart. We have a great relationship. That being said, I am so afraid to be a future MIL to someone. I hear so many stories of people hating their ILs and how they eat crackers and what not. I'm sure some of it is them truly being awful, but a lot of times it feels like petty bullshit. I would be so hurt if my kids cut me out of their lives or my grandchildren's lives because of a spouse that doesn't see eye-to-eye with me.
Feels like razor blades lining your butthole and they bleed
I feel like this is an under exaggeration. Hemorrhoids suck and I kind of hate all of you who have never had them.
Flaming razor blades? Flaming razor blades of lemon and salt? Flaming razor blades of lemon and salt that you then have to wipe with a dry ass piece of toilet paper?
I'm not scandalized by the GBCBs, just annoyed. I would prefer some sort of farewell post with or without tl;dr explanation. And for that post to not be deleted.
So instead, I'm left with this internet relationship with a person that I did or did not enjoy, but then they vanish as if this place never existed. It's just odd to me.
It's like getting dumped via text message from a burner phone that then runs out of data forever.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
Are we still confessing? My MIL just texted me and it warmed my heart. We have a great relationship. That being said, I am so afraid to be a future MIL to someone. I hear so many stories of people hating their ILs and how they eat crackers and what not. I'm sure some of it is them truly being awful, but a lot of times it feels like petty bullshit. I would be so hurt if my kids cut me out of their lives or my grandchildren's lives because of a spouse that doesn't see eye-to-eye with me.
I've noticed the biggest issues seem to be between guy's moms and their spouses and you have girls, yes? Of course it can still happen but I feel like it happens more between a wife and her MIL (not son and his MIL) if that makes sense.
My MIL eats crackers for me, I don't keep them out of our lives at all but she has never made an effort to really know me and doesn't even have my ph# so it is on DH to communicate with them. That said, since I will have 2 boys I've been making all the mental notes of what I will and won't do with a serious future girlfriend and/or DIL.
Are we still confessing? My MIL just texted me and it warmed my heart. We have a great relationship. That being said, I am so afraid to be a future MIL to someone. I hear so many stories of people hating their ILs and how they eat crackers and what not. I'm sure some of it is them truly being awful, but a lot of times it feels like petty bullshit. I would be so hurt if my kids cut me out of their lives or my grandchildren's lives because of a spouse that doesn't see eye-to-eye with me.
Agreed. I think rules for being an awesome MIL are:
+1 to everything that's been said already, but also adding that they can also be like cauliflower just chillin down there. ::cough cough:: that's what I'm told anyways.
Are we still confessing? My MIL just texted me and it warmed my heart. We have a great relationship. That being said, I am so afraid to be a future MIL to someone. I hear so many stories of people hating their ILs and how they eat crackers and what not. I'm sure some of it is them truly being awful, but a lot of times it feels like petty bullshit. I would be so hurt if my kids cut me out of their lives or my grandchildren's lives because of a spouse that doesn't see eye-to-eye with me.
I've noticed the biggest issues seem to be between guy's moms and their spouses and you have girls, yes? Of course it can still happen but I feel like it happens more between a wife and her MIL (not son and his MIL) if that makes sense.
My MIL eats crackers for me, I don't keep them out of our lives at all but she has never made an effort to really know me and doesn't even have my ph# so it is on DH to communicate with them. That said, since I will have 2 boys I've been making all the mental notes of what I will and won't do with a serious future girlfriend and/or DIL.
Yes. Girls. But I'm not ruling out any potential wives just yet 😉 I get what you're saying. I still sometimes feel like women give their MIL's a harder time than they would their own moms for the same stuff. Which is a total double standard. So, maybe I won't experience it to that extent. But things like being overly invested in your grandkids or wanting to be a bigger part of your life all sound like positives to me. I might be in my feels missing my own parents though. Plus #wine.
I agree with normadix about it being more of a mom of boys issues. My MiL actually told me I was taking her little boy away from her. But H has a great relationship with my parents.
Are we still confessing? My MIL just texted me and it warmed my heart. We have a great relationship. That being said, I am so afraid to be a future MIL to someone. I hear so many stories of people hating their ILs and how they eat crackers and what not. I'm sure some of it is them truly being awful, but a lot of times it feels like petty bullshit. I would be so hurt if my kids cut me out of their lives or my grandchildren's lives because of a spouse that doesn't see eye-to-eye with me.
I have this fear too.
I feel like my Mom is an amazing MIL (stays out of our bullshit even if I complain to her, treats E like a son, loves us so much, etc) and his Mom is also an amazing MIL (I legit think she likes me better than she likes E, is a born helper, etc) but I just feel like I could never be so selfless and accepting like they both are. Like no man/woman is good enough for my girl and if you hurt her I will commit murder.
Are we still confessing? My MIL just texted me and it warmed my heart. We have a great relationship. That being said, I am so afraid to be a future MIL to someone. I hear so many stories of people hating their ILs and how they eat crackers and what not. I'm sure some of it is them truly being awful, but a lot of times it feels like petty bullshit. I would be so hurt if my kids cut me out of their lives or my grandchildren's lives because of a spouse that doesn't see eye-to-eye with me.
I have this fear too.
I feel like my Mom is an amazing MIL (stays out of our bullshit even if I complain to her, treats E like a son, loves us so much, etc) and his Mom is also an amazing MIL (I legit think she likes me better than she likes E, is a born helper, etc) but I just feel like I could never be so selfless and accepting like they both are. Like no man/woman is good enough for my girl and if you hurt her I will commit murder.
Those feelings ever dissipate?
Hmm. I haven't had those feels yet. Ask me again around puberty lol.
Are we still confessing? My MIL just texted me and it warmed my heart. We have a great relationship. That being said, I am so afraid to be a future MIL to someone. I hear so many stories of people hating their ILs and how they eat crackers and what not. I'm sure some of it is them truly being awful, but a lot of times it feels like petty bullshit. I would be so hurt if my kids cut me out of their lives or my grandchildren's lives because of a spouse that doesn't see eye-to-eye with me.
I had a really good relationship with my MIL until she secretly invited about 20 people to crash our wedding and then later let my toddler eat cat shit off her living room floor to prove he wasn't really sick (she's since vague-apologized for the latter). Now we have a strained-but-we're-both-trying relationship.
So don't do those things and you should be golden.Â
Uhhhh. Those sound like acceptable reasons to hate your ILs. Fucking CAT SHIT?!?
I've noticed the biggest issues seem to be between guy's moms and their spouses and you have girls, yes? Of course it can still happen but I feel like it happens more between a wife and her MIL (not son and his MIL) if that makes sense.
My MIL eats crackers for me, I don't keep them out of our lives at all but she has never made an effort to really know me and doesn't even have my ph# so it is on DH to communicate with them. That said, since I will have 2 boys I've been making all the mental notes of what I will and won't do with a serious future girlfriend and/or DIL.
Yes. Girls. But I'm not ruling out any potential wives just yet 😉 I get what you're saying. I still sometimes feel like women give their MIL's a harder time than they would their own moms for the same stuff. Which is a total double standard. So, maybe I won't experience it to that extent. But things like being overly invested in your grandkids or wanting to be a bigger part of your life all sound like positives to me. I might be in my feels missing my own parents though. Plus #wine.
If it makes you feel any better, I really really tried to be friendly with my MIL. She's just a pod person. I'm sure if I had someone normal as an in law, I could have made a go of it. Just be a decent person. And if someone marries your kid, it's okay to call or text them. Especially if they've been together for over a decade (seriously, she's never called or texted me).
I feel like my Mom is an amazing MIL (stays out of our bullshit even if I complain to her, treats E like a son, loves us so much, etc) and his Mom is also an amazing MIL (I legit think she likes me better than she likes E, is a born helper, etc) but I just feel like I could never be so selfless and accepting like they both are. Like no man/woman is good enough for my girl and if you hurt her I will commit murder.
Those feelings ever dissipate?
Hmm. I haven't had those feels yet. Ask me again around puberty lol.
Not in the love department but I had my first true blackout mama bear moment a couple of weeks ago at a softball game. I was on deck so on the field side of the fence, my Mom was holding C on the other side of the fence. The guy who batted ahead of me (on my team) got pissed off at fans heckling + his awful at bat and full on tantrum threw his bat at the fence adjacent to where my kid was. I....did not react well. As I was telling him he needed to calm down and etc etc the entire field/crowd was crickets. I actually had no idea what I was saying just an instinctual protection of my kid. I felt a little cray but he actually ended up apologizing for his mantrum/scaring the chilrens. I realize there was a fence there but my brain did not - it was a very instinctual holy fuck there is a bat flying towards my kid reaction.
So yeah. I have a pretty deep protective streak even at 8+ months.
I've noticed the biggest issues seem to be between guy's moms and their spouses and you have girls, yes? Of course it can still happen but I feel like it happens more between a wife and her MIL (not son and his MIL) if that makes sense.
My MIL eats crackers for me, I don't keep them out of our lives at all but she has never made an effort to really know me and doesn't even have my ph# so it is on DH to communicate with them. That said, since I will have 2 boys I've been making all the mental notes of what I will and won't do with a serious future girlfriend and/or DIL.
Yes. Girls. But I'm not ruling out any potential wives just yet 😉 I get what you're saying. I still sometimes feel like women give their MIL's a harder time than they would their own moms for the same stuff. Which is a total double standard. So, maybe I won't experience it to that extent. But things like being overly invested in your grandkids or wanting to be a bigger part of your life all sound like positives to me. I might be in my feels missing my own parents though. Plus #wine.
Yes, yes of course you can also have a DIL I think part of the strain comes from the relationship moms have with sons as opposed to daughters. Like, they seem to like to baby them and want them to remain dependent on them so it is hard for them to give that up. This is just a generalization just things I've noticed.
And I agree, I don't understand being upset with a MIL being overly invested or wanting to be around. I am not living that, I have the ILs who live 30 mins away and can't be bothered to come over and see their only grandchild more than once every 4-6 weeks despite us telling them numerous times we have an open door policy.
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