Post by gratefulgirl on Aug 10, 2016 20:02:17 GMT -5
dorkusmalorkus - I am really surprised your ped said to let her cry. But I bet she was just trying to help you find a solution to the newborn conundrum of babies who won't sleep without snuggles but the safe sleep guidelines.
venyia - I had a similar day with DD1 when DD2 was a newborn. She did forgive me. I think it helped to honestly apologize.
Add me, too. Its super obnoxious because it makes my skin feel tissuepaper thin. Omg owwie.
hannahbear , Eli is a wonderful name! GL with the BF clinic!
OMG, it's so uncomfortable. I'm glad I'm not the only one with this. And we'd been trying to have sex to see if it did anything for my cervix. No sex now unless this goes down a lot. I feel you on the tissue paper skin too. I changed my underwear and put on super comfy pants when I got home because I could not handle my other pants touching the area.
Me (30) MH (32) Dx: MFI (low all the things) M. 10/11. TTC Since 01/14 IUI#1-3(Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN Second Opinion. Changed RE's. IVF 09/15 Long Lupron 12R/9M/8F, Transferred 1=BFN. 4 frosties. FET #1 12/15 Transferred 1 (3 still on ice)
venyia hugs! She will be fine. My 2yo had a poop explosion last night on our bed and H lost it on her. She is sitting in his lap tonight playing with him. And just a few minutes ago after screaming at my kids to get in bed, they opened the door to shout back they hadn't gotten their hugs and kisses yet. Lol kids forgive and forget easier than we do. Give yourself a break! You are a good mom
dorkusmalorkus lol no to crying it out at this stage. First off, if you start feeding her more I bet she will sleep more. Not a guarantee but with my FTT kid, formula made all the difference between crying nonstop and sleeping 3 hours. 2nd, what about a swing? I swear by them (even if my 4th hates it). I love my FP cradle swing. My pedi gave the ok for them to sleep in it too.
Don't beat yourself up. Pedi give advice, it's up to us to use our mom instincts to know if we should follow it or not. Just say ok, and do what you want at home. Happy mom, happy baby.
Post by dorkusmalorkus on Aug 10, 2016 20:12:06 GMT -5
hannahbear I'm in a similar position of breastfeeding, pumping & supplementing with formula. I would love to hear what you learn at the clinic, if you don't mind!
Add me, too. Its super obnoxious because it makes my skin feel tissuepaper thin. Omg owwie.
hannahbear, Eli is a wonderful name! GL with the BF clinic!
A few weeks ago when they did the Group B Strep swab, I almost jumped.off the table. The swab hurt like a sonnofabitch because all my bits are so swollen and tender. #solidarity #ladybits #pregnancyissobeautiful #glowing
Then add in when the kid headbutts that general area and I get some wicked lightning crotch and it's all just amazing.
Sometimes it's so painful that I have to stop and wince. But how does one explain to anyone else what actually hurts? You can't.
Pregnancy = glamorous!
Exception to the can't explain it to people thing... if SO sees my face go funny or sees me jump or sit upright really fast, he will ask me What, what?? Aaaaaand... I will tell him. In excruciating detail. Its one of the ways I get my kicks these days. Because then his face looks a lot like mine!
And thanks everyone for the reassurances. Made me cry some more, especially as DD is currently climbing all over me and giving me kisses. She sees tears and says, Sad mommy? Sad, mommy? So I have to pull it together and give her snuggles and tell her I love her. She is really resilient, I just don't want to dampen her spark.
Then add in when the kid headbutts that general area and I get some wicked lightning crotch and it's all just amazing.
Sometimes it's so painful that I have to stop and wince. But how does one explain to anyone else what actually hurts? You can't.
Pregnancy = glamorous!
Exception to the can't explain it to people thing... if SO sees my face go funny or sees me jump or sit upright really fast, he will ask me What, what?? Aaaaaand... I will tell him. In excruciating detail. Its one of the ways I get my kicks these days. Because then his face looks a lot like mine!
Haha!! I love this. I was walking weird when I got home today and did the exact same thing to MH when he asked what was wrong. All he could respond was "oh"
Me (30) MH (32) Dx: MFI (low all the things) M. 10/11. TTC Since 01/14 IUI#1-3(Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN Second Opinion. Changed RE's. IVF 09/15 Long Lupron 12R/9M/8F, Transferred 1=BFN. 4 frosties. FET #1 12/15 Transferred 1 (3 still on ice)
Anyone dealt or dealing with an umbilical hernia on baby? My kid's has gotten larger over past few days. It isn't incarcerated but it still looks suspicious to me. I will collapse of exhaustion if she has to have surgery
Anyone dealt or dealing with an umbilical hernia on baby? My kid's has gotten larger over past few days. It isn't incarcerated but it still looks suspicious to me. I will collapse of exhaustion if she has to have surgery
DD2 had one. Her pedi just kept an eye on it and didn't do anything since we could always push it in and it never changed. They were going to refer us to a pediatric surgeon at either one or two years (I can't remember) but it was gone by the time she was a few months old.
elm1214 did it ever seem to bother her? I just feel like she has so much gas and so little poop. And she cries out a lot, but it's just like a short cry and then she settles herself back down.
Formerly MoFree on the other board. TTC since 2008 Diagnosis of Severe MFI 3-2009 IVF#1 Nov 2011, BFP DD born @31 weeks gestation, 6-24-12 FET#1, Nov 2013,, BFN FET#2, Feb 2014, BFN Freeze only cycle with PGD August 2014 FET #3 another BFN FET canceled due to cysts FET #4 Dec 2015, BFP Baby Boy born 8-28-16 via VBAC
elm1214 did it ever seem to bother her? I just feel like she has so much gas and so little poop. And she cries out a lot, but it's just like a short cry and then she settles herself back down.
It never seemed to hurt or anything when I pushed it in. But she had major tummy issues and ended up seeing the GI doctor (hypoallergenic formula and reflux meds) so it was hard to tell if any of it was related to the hernia or not because she had so many other stomach issues.
dorkusmalorkus I'm having some feels about what your pedi said. The nurse practitioner at my practice made me believe that my 6 week old should cry it out and that I could force her to stay awake during the day. At the time I was still struggling with breastfeeding issues due to tongue tie, I was barely getting any sleep and I was not in my right mind. So I allowed my 6 week old to cry. I also tried to keep her awake and she would get so tired that she wouldn't wake up no matter what did. ( I still feel guilty about this). Thank God I came to my senses. I finally figured my daughter out and for her, letting her cry was not the best way to get her to sleep.
Warning: I'm being very opinionated right now. I have feels about a baby spending 9 months being held inside my body and then being expected to be okay without me in a mere Two weeks. I do not like your pedi's advice at all.
I don't have anything to link, but I've thought crying it out was not recommended until a baby was at least 6 months old.
Anyway, sorry for the novel. I just wanted you to know that your pediatrician advice seems crazy to me.
kam3100, I agree with you, honestly. I would hesitate to listen to such demonstrably outdated advice, if it were my pedi saying those things. But then, I just found that letting DD dictate her sleep/eat/wake cycles was the easiest thing, and since we coslept and I managed to ebf, it meant never just letting her cry. I don't pretend that it would work for everyone, I know lots of kids are way tougher than my girl was. But I have strong feels about CIO in general, anyway. And yeah, I believe 4 months is the MINIMUM recommended, but there are so many stories and studies and whatnot that could just break your heart about what happens to a little baby left to cry. I am not trying to be judgmental to anyone here, so I apologize if I come across that way. I know that sometimes you just do what you have to do, and sometimes that involves crying.
Also dorkusmalorkus I know you asked advice on sleeping. I never used a rock and play (I wish I had one at the time) but I can tell you what I did to help my daughter sleep. Even though at times she'd act like she hated it, I swaddled her nice and tight (burrito!) and then I'd have her fall asleep and I'd put her down. She would wake up every time but I would pat her on the side and sssshh her. It took a few days but she eventually started sleeping in places other than on me. But, if I didn't have her swaddled tightly, it didn't work lol.
I'm not sure if that would work for you or not, that's just what worked for me.
And you are not a bad mom...at all. And because the pediatrician made you feel that way, I'd never see them again. Eff that noise.
Post by dorkusmalorkus on Aug 10, 2016 23:54:59 GMT -5
kam3100 I am having very similar feels as you. I'm fairly attachment-y, and was hesitant to describe a 2-week-old as "clingy." I mean, it's a baby. There's no way I'd actually try letting a baby that young cry it out; like I just can't do that. And of course my big kids were there when she said the stuff about smothering the baby, so they're all warning me not to sleep with the baby. I've had *really* bad anxiety over bed-sharing this time around, and this didn't help that problem. Likewise on the strict schedule stuff--when we've topped her off with formula, she's gone longer between feedings (up to 5 hours a couple of times), yet I'm supposed to wake her up to feed her every 2-3 hours. I mean, I can't force her to eat while she's sleeping. And I have a personality where if you say, "If you feed her every 2-3 hours, you'll be successful!" then I'm going to drive myself insane and sleepless by pumping every 2 hours. Basically I left the appointment feeling like I was failing at the two things newborn babies do: eat and sleep. And, while I'm word-vomiting, I find it frustrating that DH isn't invested in the whole feeding thing the way I am, so he doesn't really "get it." Like it is no big deal to him to give her a bottle of formula. I know in my head that it's not a big deal, because food! For babies! And I want her to gain weight appropriately, of course. But also breast is best, and my body is failing my kid, blah blah. It sucks. Was a tear-y day here, so I appreciate everyone's feedback very, very much.
Big hugs, dorkusmalorkus. You are doing a lot of hard work right now. I sincerely believe the first few weeks are some of the hardest. You don't know your baby yet, you don't have the routines nailed down, and all your hormones are still all over the place. All your stress and worry is going to a good place, imo. As for sleeping, I talked about being a cosleeper with DD (bedsharing) but for a long time we would start her nights swaddled up tight and then placed in her little bouncy chair right next to the bed. It allowed her to learn to sleep near but not ON me, and it allowed me to sleep without fear of hurting her when she was tiny. Plus, she was right there to pick up for motn feedings. I really quickly just formed the opinion, if she is eating, and she is sleeping, and I am sleeping, then we must be doing something right.
As an aside, I got a lot of concerned clucks about (lack of) weight gain for DD early on, until around a year they realized her growth curve was definitely not at the 50 percentile where her weight was at birth. She didn't grow much or very fast right off, but eventually settled into around the 25 percentile, and has just recently around 2 gained a little back on the charts. She is, incidentally, healthy as a horse.
Baby C is having a rough night. I know he's gotta be sore. He just wants to eat for a few mins, pass out, and then when I lay him down he wants the boob right back. I'm think he's faking the hunger to get extra some snuggles, but I'm okay with that.
Baby C is having a rough night. I know he's gotta be sore. He just wants to eat for a few mins, pass out, and then when I lay him down he wants the boob right back. I'm think he's faking the hunger to get extra some snuggles, but I'm okay with that.
DD3 is doing the same after being snuggled (and therefore not eating well) all day. I am pretty wiped out.
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