GTKY: Age gap between children

[amelandre]

We decided we'd shoot for 2-2.5 yrs apart. They'll be just under 2 years. Only having two.

[hotcoconuts82]

My first two are 18 months apart; by choice. There will be 4 1/2 years between kid 2 and this baby. That wasn't really by choice. Financial and life situations kept it from happening sooner. Ideally, it would have been more like a 2 1/2 - 3 year age gap between the 2nd and 3rd. But, life doesn't always work out that way.

[t1green]

I'm a FTM and we do plan on having more. My boyfriend and I are the same in that we're both the youngest and our siblings are 7 and 8 years older than us. My brothers come from a different mother than me and his parent's just decided to try for one more before it was too late in hopes of having a boy. He has two older sisters. We both felt a little isolated as children and didn't really have anyone to play with. Even though we both have siblings we were more raised as only children just because of the age difference. Hypothetically speaking we would like to have our kids about a year or two apart and would love to have a big family of about 4 kids.

[lgsdesigner]

The age gaps between my children are 3 yrs and a few months. DS to DD (3 yrs 3 mo), DD to DS2 (3 yrs 9 mo).
I LOVE this age gap for the following reasons:

- When the new baby arrives, they are old enough to understand what a baby is, and had 3 years+ with just me.
- They are old enough to take the Sibling-Prep class at the hospital to prepare them for the new baby's arrival.
- They are old enough to help if I need someone to grab me a diaper, etc.
- The level of jealousy is more minimal than the 2 under 2 age groups.
- It gives me time in-between each pregnancy to get the last child potty-trained and on schedule before a new child arrives.

[smilz4782]

I wanted a few (2-3) years between, but L has been soooooo difficult I was one and done... Or at least wait 5 years and talk to me then.
Then...oops. DH was then excited she wouldn't be an only.
They will be ~18 mo apart
IF we have a third I would prefer 2-3 years between 2&3...maybe more :/

[Deleted]

I'm a FTM and I would like to space my children 2-3 years apart. Reason being is my brothers and I are separated by at least 4.5 years each, and we aren't really friends with each other. My husband and his brother are 4 years apart too, and they also aren't friends. It's not because of fighting, either - they just never had anything in common. I know having kids closer together won't automatically make them friends, but a lot of my cousins and friends who are closer in age with their siblings are good friends with them, and I feel like maybe spacing my kids closer might increase the odds. Also, FWIW, my parents didn't try to space us - they just never paid attention to when they were having sex and ended up with 3 kids over a 12-year time span. Not sure about DH's parents.

[Deleted]

This is our second, and will be our last.
DD will be almost 3 when DS arrives. I've always wanted my babies to be close in age

[emu0013]

If LO comes on time, they will be 2 years 11 months apart. I had a really difficult time with my pregnancy with DD, and so we debated back and forth if we were going to try for another.

[pinkbarebear]

I'm going by 'once the previous one is out of diapers' rule.

[Deleted]

For STM+, what is/what will be the age gap of your children? Would you make that gap closer or further away if you could do it again and why?

When baby is born in may DS1 will be 6 and DS2 will be 4.
DS1 born in 2008 so technically 7 years apart. DS2 born in 2010 so 5 years apart. If I would have another I would wait 2 years, but I am not so I'm done.

[saltyh2O]

We shot for around 2 years apart and wound up just shy of 3. I got pregnant when DS was a little over 2 on our first time trying, but similar to my first pregnancy, it ended in a m/c at 8weeks. It took us another 5 months or so for this pregnancy to happen, and DD is slated to make her arrival just a few months shy of DS's third birthday. I'm 38 (39 in April) so I can't say I didn't have a little trepidation as to whether or not we'd be able to have another child before I hit a point when I didn't want to mentally/emotionally navigate having a baby in my 40s. I'm more than grateful for this little girl for lots of reasons, including that one.

I'm also an only child and always always always wanted a sibling, so I'm over the moon about these two being on the scene and close enough in age to grow up together. DH is one of 4 and while he and his younger sister are 2 years apart, his older sisters are 6 and 10 years his senior. They've always been a close family, but it's only been in the last 5 years or so that he's really developed strong relationships on "meatier" things with the older two in particular. They're finally all at an age where life is relatable I guess!

[beebe918]

This is our first, I would ideally like to have 3 or 4 children and would like them fairly close in age. I'm thinking less then 18-months between each. I have 3 sisters and all 4 of us are exactly 14 months apart. My parents are 50 none of us live at home and my mom just quit her job last year. They had kids young, got them all out of the house and are now living the life! I aspire to be them

[maggiet19]

There will be a little over 4-year gap between DD and our DS. Ideally I would have liked a 3-year gap, but Uncle Sam had different plans for my family, followed by a MMC at 12 weeks. Once DS is born, we will be complete as a family of four. I do believe everything happens for a reason and that God's plans for us are greater than any plan I can come up with...so I am at peace with how things have worked out and cannot wait to meet our son.

[miraclebbye]

DS and DD are 6yrs apart, this little one will be 7yrs from DD. (12, 7, newborn) My 1st 2 were purposely that far apart, daycare and diapers are expensive and I did not want to do it with 2 together.
When I divorced I figured I was done, but since I remarried when DD was 5. We waited till she was out of daycare/kindergarten so that we had no additional expenses when a new baby came along. I like the age gap, the older ones are much more independent and can do simple things for themselves. I also feel like each of my kids have had more of their baby/toddler years 1 on 1 since again the older kid/s do their own thing for the most part.

This baby is my last.

[lexisophie55]

For STM+, what is/what will be the age gap of your children? Would you make that gap closer or further away if you could do it again and why?

They will be 2.5 years apart. Originally - I wanted them closer, but due to breastfeeding and a messed up body - that didn't happen.

HOWEVER - I am loving this age gap. DS should be out of diapers and pretty self sufficient, yet a help with the new baby. I am really glad I was able to watch him grow and bond with him. LOVE IT!

[mlbrooks]

If you're a FTM and plan on having more, what is your ideal age gap between children and why?

I plan on having at least one more, making a total of 2. Depending on how things go I wouldn't be totally opposed to 3 total (possibly adopting the 3rd).. but you never know. Ideally, for the next one I would want 2 years apart in age. I always said I wanted to be done with having kids by 30 so that puts me right around 30-31 years old.

[cosmicav]

I'm a FTM, and hoping on having more someday. Like many other PPs, I think a 2-3 year gap would be right for me. I'm the oldest of three, and one of my sisters is 2 years younger, and the other is 5 years younger. I find that I have gotten along better with the one closer in age to me, since I guess we just went through phases at similar times (and we shared a room). I get along with my youngest sister, but it isn't the same. I think I would like three or four kids total, but it depends on finances and what we get. Ideally (like many other people, I think), we would like to have at least one boy and one girl, so that may shape the size of our family too. I'm pregnant with a boy now. If the second kid is a boy too then I'll want to try for the third, and if the third is a boy, I'll want to try for the fourth! However, I think I'll want to stop at four lol. If we never get a girl that is okay, but hell why not try if we have the resources and health for it? Idk, we will see what happens. I mean, for all I know, this may be my only child; I don't know what kind of hand life will deal me! This turned into a long ramble lol oops sorry.

[robotpcr]

FTM and we will hopefully get to have more. I'd like to do 3ish years apart. My main goal is to not have 2 in diapers since that sounds like torture but especially if I end up being a SAHM for a while, I'd like to get back to my career at some point. My brother and I are 6 years apart (on purpose) and that's a little much for my taste. We get along mostly but we've always been in very different places in our lives.

[littlecookie]

STM

They will be almost 4 yrs apart.

We planned a little closer. Started trying after he turned 2.

I know you have your disclaimer at the top, but my advice is to try again when you're ready and not stress too much about age gap, not saying anyone here is, but I know people who are hung up on this. Being close in age is no guarantee that they will be close. My losses were kind of shocking and I'm glad I didn't really have any age gap expectations as I went through it,

[tabH]

For STM+, what is/what will be the age gap of your children? Would you make that gap closer or further away if you could do it again and why?

DD1 and DD2 will be about 22 months apart, just shy of the 2 year mark which is what we wanted. We want one more and I am thinking to try the same plan, wait for DD2 1st birthday, and then start trying for #3.

[miraclebbye]

Adding: My brother and I are 2yrs 6mos apart, we had a typical brother/sister relationship growing up, nothing that screamed BFFs, now that we are both adults, we don't get along very well at all.

This has always affirmed my belief that even if I had kids closer in age than I do, it doesn't guarantee that "closer" relationship most people assume kids will have.

[rels09]

My girls will be 2 years and 10 months apart. While we haven't experienced it yet, a gap of around 3 years is what we always wanted and the norm in our families. I know there is no way I would want to handle 2 under 2. I did not feel remotely ready to try again until DD got close to turning 2, because I felt like the 12-18 month period was most demanding.

[Ee]

I'm a FTM. Proooooobably one and done, but we will see how it goes with this baby. The door is not necessarily closed to one more. If we do decide we want another, I'd want to start trying to get pregnant again before too long. Ideally, we'd aim for a 2-3 year age gap.

I'm 6 years older than my sister, and I think an age gap that big is not really ideal. Even though we have a great relationship now that we're both grown up, there was not much common ground when we were younger like siblings just a couple years apart would have.

[ksmith0803]

There will be a little over 3 1/2 years between DS1 and DS2. The only thing we knew was that we definitely wanted DS1 to be potty trained and we wanted to get to experience some of DS's firsts before we had another. I had kind of thought 5ish years. But I'm now glad they'll be closer in age. Sometimes I wish they were going to be closer in age so they'd have more in common growing up.

[amylee545]

FTM here. Ideally we'd like this baby and the next to be 3 years apart. That's the age difference between my sisters kids and I thought it was absolutely perfect for reasons that lgsdesigner explained above.

But who knows if that'll actually happen. It took us a whole year to get pregnant with this one, so I don't even know how we'd go about "planning" for that age difference. If it's longer than 3 years, that's ok with me. I just really really REALLY do not want a shorter age gap. The whole 2u2 thing freaks me the eff out.

[Renarene]

I'm a second time mom. My only other child will be 10 in sept. I can't say that I would change it. There was a period where we tried for another but gave up after a while. For 6 years we thought we were done and then decided to try one more time.

I wish my daughter would have had a sibling but at the same time we have been able to do things for her because it was just her. I guess when it comes down to it, I'm happy with how it all worked out.

Definitely done after this one!!

[kj808]

2 years, 9 months between 1 and 2 - perfect age gap for us

4 years, 10 months between 2 and 3 - I had originally hoped for closer to 3 years apart but life had other plans :/ thinking about it now though, I know it will work out really well. Both kids are very aware of what's going on and they're super excited to help with everything. Plus it's nice that DS will be starting 2nd grade and DD will be starting Kindergarten when i'll be going back to work after maternity leave so our parents will really only have to watch the baby during the day. I was kind of bummed that my boys will be so far apart in age but i'm sure it will be fine.

[domesticatty]

This is our 2nd and they will be 20 months apart- No more kids for us.

Why only 2? Mostly financial. I want to travel with my kids and share lots of experiences. Also, we will be paying $1,960/month in daycare by the end of the summer.

Ideal age gap? I thought it would be nice to have them close so they would have a lot in common and, years down the road, we can tailor family activities to their age group. One con I didn't anticipate was having to buy extra baby gear because they are too close in age (extra crib).

[mariisz]

I'm a FTM. In an ideal world I would have my 2nd within the next 3 years. But I feel like I am too young (24 this May) and I want to finish or at least be in med school and settle before I have another child.
I will most likely be 28-30 when I try again so my kids will be around 5 years apart.
My brother and I are 10 years apart and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

[mayflowers]

We aren't sure. We are starting with one and seeing how it goes, but if we wanted to have another it would ideally be within 2-4 years. We're good stopping at one mostly for financial reasons.