VBAC vs. Planned C-section.. :(

[missi]

I am so frustrated and emotional about this. 

For the background.. my first two (14 and 13) were both vaginal births.  They went fine.. both were induced because they weren't making appearances voluntarily, so pitocin.  No issues other than my own reaction to the epidural (major itchiness to a uncontrollable situation with the second). 
My twins were an urgent c-section.  Obviously, they couldn't come vaginally at 26w3d, so when my doctor could feel twin A's toes during an exam, we got my husband to the hospital and they were born that morning.  It is a large scar, but it is horizontal and it healed well. 

My doctor (who did the c-section 2-1/2 years ago) says that I am a prime candidate for a VBAC and TOLAC.  She didn't even mention the fact that I am 40.  After reading the paperwork you have to sign off on (greater than 1% chance, so assuming that means 1-2% chance in all women of uterine rupture / if that does occur, then greater than 50% chance of brain damage or death in child) my husband was all for the c-section.  My mil, who is a L&D nurse with Kaiser in northern California, is determined I get another c-section.

~I~ do not want anything to do with another c-section.  It was hell on earth to heal from in comparison to a vaginal birth.  On top of that, I have this gut feeling that is is completely the wrong choice this time.  I spent last night frustrated, upset, and crying from exhaustion and frustration.  I honestly am so anti-repeat c-section that I am not even sure I would have been all about trying one more time for a boy if I knew I was going to have to choose that. 

~is so emotional over this~  I know we have a lot of months yet to decide.. maybe this will all sort itself out in the mean time? 

[mosdub]

I'm so sorry. I've never delivered a baby (vaginally or otherwise) but I understand your fears. I don't understand the statistics you posted - do you mean you have a 1-2% chance of a uterine rupture if you try vaginal delivery or if you opt for the C-Section?

[missi]

Aug 16, 2016 17:32:42 GMT -5 mosdub said:

I'm so sorry. I've never delivered a baby (vaginally or otherwise) but I understand your fears. I don't understand the statistics you posted - do you mean you have a 1-2% chance of a uterine rupture if you try vaginal delivery or if you opt for the C-Section?

The paperwork you sign off on saying you understand the risks says a greater than 1% chance of uterine rupture if you try a VBAC.  Sounds bad.. until you read all the wonderful things that can happen as a result of C-section ><

Don't get me wrong, C-section IS doable.  I mean, I survived a twin urgent one.  But recovery wise.. vaginal is by far soo much easier in my experience. 

[kristhegirl]

I don't have the personal experience, but I have heard anecdotally that recovering from a planned C-section is easier than an emergency one.

Even if that's true, you are not wanting one and your doctor believes you are a strong candidate for a VBAC. Your husband's fears should and can be addressed, but don't outweigh your own experiences and desires.

You have some time to think through your options - which you have. You have options. Both of which have a very, very high probability of a live birth and healthy baby and mom.

Your emotions are running high right now, but there doesn't appear to be a wrong answer here. Just options to consider. Would you husband feel more informed if he spoke with you and your doctor about C-section risks vs. VBAC risks?

[kristhegirl]

(I'm ignoring your mom weighing in because I'm assuming she doesn't actually have any involvement in the making of this pregnancy, so her opinion is moot, to me. And I'm really close with my mom! But she should butt out.)

[caer]

It sounds like you, your doctor and your DH are all onboard for a VBAC, unless I'm reading that wrong. I know your MIL has her own opinions, but given that all the important people agree, I don't see why you wouldn't try for one. It's ultimately your choice!

ETA: I reread and saw your DH doesn't agree. Reading fail. Could he possibly talk to your doctor and maybe have some of his worries addressed?

[missi]

You guys are amazing. Here I am, super emotional about this, and you guys get me to chuckle and smile.

He is on board with whatever I choose. His first choice would be to go for whatever is safest for the baby, as both VBAC and C-section carry risks for the mom. We're going to talk to the doctor again at the coming appointment.. and there is time.

I think part of what is getting me is I can't figure out WHY am I so terrified of a repeat c-section. I can't shake this horrible gut feeling about it

[glb30]

I'm sorry you are faced with this difficult choice. Plus one to everything kristhegirl said. (((Hugs)))

[kristhegirl]

missi I don't know, an emergency C-section for very early twins sounds pretty traumatic all around. I have no problem imagining why the thought of another C-section would bring up some deep fears.

[missi]

Aug 16, 2016 18:01:56 GMT -5 kristhegirl said:

missi I don't know, an emergency C-section for very early twins sounds pretty traumatic all around. I have no problem imagining why the thought of another C-section would bring up some deep fears.

Would you believe I never thought about that?  Their pregnancy / birth / NICU stay / all the appointments and first two years of "isolation" after they were born were all so overwhelming.. I think I just bundled it into a get through it feeling.  We were always sure they'd be okay.  Faith?  Denial?  Dunno, we just knew they'd come through it safely. 

I never even thought about what I went through.  That seemed so minor compared to their first three or four months.  Ugh, not getting into that, do not want to scare anyone >.> 

[jnnfrrose6]

I was hoping for a vbac for baby #2. It was the plan all the way until the day before she was born when my fluids were low and it was best to just get her out so the c-section was scheduled next day. I don't think you can really go wrong either way. You've been through both. You know what to expect with both. You also know what you didn't like about the c-section and those concerns can be addressed prior to having another one if that's the route you end up going. I don't have a vaginal recovery to compare to, but knowing what to expect can help. Also, going in knowing it was going to be a c-section puts a whole different energy in the room to meet your baby.

[Deleted]

I feel where you're coming from.

My SIL said her planned c-section was way different and a way easier recovery. Also,and I might be talking out my ass, if so I apologize, but a twin c-section seems like a more difficult recovery by default.

All that to say I also had a vaginal birth last time and the recovery was super easy. If your Dr thinks you're a prime candidate for a VBAC and you want one I'd try to bring your husband on board.

[Deleted]

Hugs to you. missi that's a lot of stuff for a momma and babies to go through!

[amacbaby]

I think what everyone has said has been great.I agree with others that a rapid delivery of very premature twins may have made the C-section even scarier! I think that either way you decide to try, you should talk through the csection with your doctor and tell her your fears. From a practical stand point, even if you TOLAC, there is a chance you could end up with a csection in the end and maybe some planning for that could help make the experience better this time. I hope no matter what happens your experience is a lot better this go around!

[jellykat2]

I agree with pp that your mil should have no say. I had a c section because of distress, but luckily I had a pretty okay recovery. Of course I don't know what a vaginal delivery recovery is like.

I'm hoping for a vbac, or at least TOLAC. Whatever you decide, it will be right for you and baby. You have a lot of time to make this decision. I take a lot of comfort knowing that the decision can always change.

Hugs lady, I'm sorry it's weighing so heavy on you right now.

[meggypoo1]

I don't know the odds or anything really other than vaginal delivery but I would talk with the doctors more. Get better sense of what this up to 1-2% actually means