Who's not sad?

[2dumbdogs]

My baby turns 1 on Monday.

I'm not sad about this. Like, at all.

Am I broken?

[runningmommy519]

I wasn't sad either. E turned 13 months on Monday.

Welcome to the I'm broken club. Lol

[skinandbones]

I'm not sad about DS2 turning 1.

I'm upset about no more babies.

[redandblue]

I can't say that I'm sad. I'm having lots of feelings and have enjoyed looking back over the past year or so, but not really sad. I also don't think I will cry at his party, but maybe cry when I have to go back to work in a couple of weeks. I'm loving watching him grow and develop and feel sad that I'm not going to be able to around all the time, and may miss some milestones.

[Deleted]

I wasn't sad.

[Deleted]

I was more like


I'm excited for more independence and for DS to be able to really play with and keep DD company so I don't have to.

[elvenqueen]

I was excited. I mean, I miss the tiny squish phase when I look back at photos, but they're way more fun now. I like sleep. I like having my body back. I like getting affection back from the little beasts I put absolutely everything into!

[2dumbdogs]

I'm definitely excited. Our lives are so much better now (all 3 of us, I think)

[ampaints]

Aug 17, 2016 12:26:32 GMT -5 redandblue said:

I can't say that I'm sad. I'm having lots of feelings and have enjoyed looking back over the past year or so, but not really sad. I also don't think I will cry at his party, but maybe cry when I have to go back to work in a couple of weeks. I'm loving watching him grow and develop and feel sad that I'm not going to be able to around all the time, and may miss some milestones.

This. I have had a lot of feels about it. I'm sad that IF has made it so I only get to do this once and I'll never throw another first birthday party for my child. But I love who he is becoming.

It might be me reading too much into it, but it almost comes across as though some of you scoff at getting emotional about some milestones or the first birthday. For me every one is a huge deal because since about 2010 I didn't think I was getting any of this. So I'm going to have all of the emotions about it and be so happy that I have the chance to. We're all going to experience this differently, cool. Have all of the emotions, have none of the emotions. You do you.

And now that I'm pretty sure I've taken this way beyond its intent I think I'll step back for a bit. I obviously am feeling some sort of way about this.

[2dumbdogs]

Aug 17, 2016 13:35:58 GMT -5 ampaints said:

Aug 17, 2016 12:26:32 GMT -5 redandblue said:

I can't say that I'm sad. I'm having lots of feelings and have enjoyed looking back over the past year or so, but not really sad. I also don't think I will cry at his party, but maybe cry when I have to go back to work in a couple of weeks. I'm loving watching him grow and develop and feel sad that I'm not going to be able to around all the time, and may miss some milestones.

This. I have had a lot of feels about it. I'm sad that IF has made it so I only get to do this once and I'll never throw another first birthday party for my child. But I love who he is becoming.

It might be me reading too much into it, but it almost comes across as though some of you scoff at getting emotional about some milestones or the first birthday. For me every one is a huge deal because since about 2010 I didn't think I was getting any of this. So I'm going to have all of the emotions about it and be so happy that I have the chance to. We're all going to experience this differently, cool. Have all of the emotions, have none of the emotions. You do you.

And now that I'm pretty sure I've taken this way beyond its intent I think I'll step back for a bit. I obviously am feeling some sort of way about this.

Oh.

[tmclawchick]

I wasn't sad until DH and I were talking about it this morning and I randomly burst into tears. I think I was just reflecting on how much has happened this past year and I got overwhelmed. I'm excited for her to turn 1 though, tomorrow is the day!

[2dumbdogs]

Not crying/not being sad doesn't mean I don't have emotions but thanks for coming in my thread and re affirming that society thinks I'm broken for not crying over every damn thing.

ampaints in case you weren't sure this was in response to you.

But

You do you.

[ampaints]

Aug 17, 2016 13:49:12 GMT -5 2dumbdogs said:

Not crying/not being sad doesn't mean I don't have emotions but thanks for coming in my thread and re affirming that society thinks I'm broken for not crying over every damn thing.

ampaints in case you weren't sure this was in response to you.

But

You do you.

Never said you don't have emotions. I'm not speaking for the rest of society, just me, that's the only point of view I have. And thanks for making sure I'm not to stupid to realize this was directed at me.

This is not the first time on this board that not crying or having sadness at our kids turning one had come up. When it did before the majority of responses were that people weren't feeling sad. So obviously I'm in the minority since I'm "crying over every damn thing."

[Deleted]

ampaints, You're right, everyone handles it differently. But that's exactly what was being done in here. People handling a milestone in their own way. I don't think anyone was scoffing at getting emotional over things though. At least I did not read it that way.

[ampaints]

Aug 17, 2016 14:30:50 GMT -5 @betweenthelines said:

ampaints, You're right, everyone handles it differently. But that's exactly what was being done in here. People handling a milestone in their own way. I don't think anyone was scoffing at getting emotional over things though. At least I did not read it that way.

And I fully admitted in my post that it might be me reading into things. The feeling isn't just from this post, it's a snow ball from other posts as well.

[packmomma]

Aug 17, 2016 13:49:12 GMT -5 2dumbdogs said:

Not crying/not being sad doesn't mean I don't have emotions but thanks for coming in my thread and re affirming that society thinks I'm broken for not crying over every damn thing.

ampaints in case you weren't sure this was in response to you.

But

You do you.

Dude ampaints didn't say you were broken for not being sad. She said that this came off a little bit scoffing at the women who are having emotions.

This conversation has been had before and everytime a poster says they're sad a chorus of other posters say "they're not and must be broken".

She even said she might be reading too much into it because of her experiences with IF. I've read the same tone from posters about this subject before but I also know that this maybe being our only child makes me sensitive to the "I'm laid back because I don't cry" vibe I get sometimes ( not specifically from you just when this subject arises). Because I know I'm sensitive to it I don't really participate in the conversation. I don't know who is telling you you're broken (because it's definitely not the board) but it's not ampaints.

[Deleted]

ampaints, sorry that you feel that way.

[tmclawchick]

I haven't been around much to comment on a snowball effect, but I do know that there isn't a right or wrong way to handle milestones. Some people get weepy and others want to pop champagne, but I think it's all relative to your situation, you know?

*sprinkles glitter and rainbows over thread and tiptoes out*

[trudytrudy]

I can relate to skinandbones. I am sad about not having an infant anymore. I loved the little baby phase! I feel less emotional about this 1st bday than I did for my firstborn but I'm still over here like... Why is my baby growing up so fast!!? ampaints, I won't knock your hustle over there, I was a hot mess about my first baby's bday. That dr suess quote "don't cry because it's over smile because it happened" ugh... I still get choked up over that one. Seriously, I framed that quote and displayed it at his party. And I cared not one ounce of my guests thought I was being cheesy... They weren't in my shoes.

[RandomName]

Not sad. Not a bit.

Eta: I just now read past the very first comment. Wanted to second there is no one right way to handle milestones. Do what works. But that goes for more than just this.

[runningmommy519]

ampaints I'm sorry if my comment offended you.

[Laverne]

Sad, having DD's first bday in the year 2000. I can tell you the time passes in a blink. Feeling like dust in the wind over here. Hugs ampaints

[abvintage]

I didn't cry or anything but I am sad. The moments are fleeting and I have a terrible memory. I know I'm going to forget some of the things I loved and adored and it sucks.

[Deleted]

I'm happy that C is turning 1 yet sad that he is my last baby. And my last first birthday. A year ago was the last time I was able to hold my very own newborn baby. I am sad that we've decided to stop at 2 but know it's best for us for many reasons..with all that sad I don't think I will be crying at his birthday party.

ampaints, you have every right to feel the way you do. You had to work hard for M. You had to experience emotions and trials and tribulations I've never even thought of. I know you know you can cry all you want too. I also know you respect everyone else's ways of expressing their happiness and sadness during this time.

2dumbdogs, I know this post wasn't meant as a call out at anyone. You are not broken. Not crying at milestones doesn't mean you're broken. I see that saying just as a figure of speech. We all process these emotions differently as we should.

I think we all just get the sad feels for different reasons and handle it differently. There's no need to get huffy about it. It's been a hard yet joyous year for all of us. I think we should all just be happy that we survived ( hell 2 days ago I thought my kids broke me).

2 more days until my baby isn't a baby anymore. I smile at that thought and silently scream for him to stop growing up. That's just being a mom.

[zonagirl]

It is so weird, I was just talking to my mom about how I think that I am weird because I haven't gotten emotional at all about Ava growing up. Like, not a bit. (This was before I read this thread, so I obviously I see that there is a wide range of reactions and that I'm not the only one who feels this way).
The only time I have cried related to her is from frustration with sleep issues, and then happiness when she started crawling and I was so relieved that something wasn't wrong. It is strange to me that I am like this, because I am an extremely emotional and sensitive person. I cry often and easily, but I just don't feel weepy about Ava growing up. After some reflecting, I think maybe it is because this past year really kicked my ass and set off a lot of anxiety in me. I enjoy being a mom more and more as she gets older and so I just mostly feel relieved to be entering into a phase that I am more comfortable with, if that makes sense.

[redandblue]

zonagirl that makes perfect sense. Everyone is different and I appreciate that you articulated that there have been stages that you are not as comfortable with. This is completely true. People assume when you have a newborn that you should absolutely LOVE everything about this precious baby. And for some people trhe newborn and young infant stage it can be so so challenging. Here is this little baby that just eats and cries and sleeps (sometimes more crying than sleeping) and they are not effective in letting us know what they need. Add sleep deprivation and it makes for a very challenging time. So feeling happy and excited as your baby grows and develops makes perfect sense! We are all so different and feel these stages differently, and they are all okay!

PS nice to see you back on the board!