Tips for calming two babies at once?

[bocaburger]

H just spent the last 2.5 hours trying to calm two screaming babies on his own so I could get some sleep. Finally he woke me because he just couldn't do it anymore. As soon as I came out and we could each hold one they calmed down.

How do you calm both babies when there is only one adult available? So far they hate the swing.

TIA

[requiressnacks]

I have no advice, but my calming thoughts are with you and you husband, bocaburger. I have a feeling all of these questions will be in my future. Big hugs to you guys! Hang in there.

[babys2015]

Baby wear one, while rocking one in the rnp?

Stroller for a walk

Car ride

[babys2015]

Swaddle and shush

[lindy04aggie]

It's a constant learning process. What works today might not work tomorrow. Things to try:

Put them both on your chest (close to your heart... works better for moms since they're use to your heartbeat) and rock.

Walk around the house while holding them.

Are they using pacis yet? The sucking is a natural soother. If no pacis yet, give them your finger (upside down so your nail doesn't cut the roof of their mouth).

Do you have a double stroller yet? If yes, put them in it and just walk around the house. The one I have, the back seat lays down flat, so I would just lay them both in there.

Do you have a swing or a bouncer that vibrates? That seems to help calm mine sometimes.

At the beginning, swaddling and shushing were the go tos.

I hope this helps! Just remember that you're doing a great job and this too shall pass!

[schmella]

That young, mine were rarely awake so I'm not much help. Is holding them the only thing that works when you are both available?
If so, holding two babies- I would make a nest in the bed or on the couch so they could both be pressed against me, sometimes just leaning against my leg was enough. Or I would sit cross legged and put 1 in my lap and hold 1 in my arms. Or bust out that double nursing pillow and arrange them like a double football hold- full body contact always soothes mine

[schmella]

Oh also, loud white noise, lots of bouncing and rocking (and way less gentle than expected? Fast rocking worked really well)
If your car seats rock, try that. They are a snugger fit that can really help.

I just remembered- Rock n Plays. Holy crap they were pretty awesome at that point. Again, a little more snuggly than the swings. Hang in there!

[richzep]

I agree. Hold both at once. I still have to do that and mine are a year old. Or one in a bouncer and one being carried. This was my life for months.


It won't last forever. Even though you think it does. Hang in there. You're going through the most difficult times but you'll make it through before you know it.

[schmella]

And I'm just going to add, and this is not a man bashing post, but IME, most men SUCK at soothing newborns. Even wonderful, loving, caring men who cried at delivery and do all the sweet wonderful things just cannot figure out newborns.

I got my longest stretch of sleep when MIL came by after work. I would feed them at 6p, MIL would come over around 7- I would power pump for an hour and go to bed, they would feed babies at 9 and put them to bed around 10 for their longest stretch.
It's so hard in the beginning. You'll all figure each other out. It feels like forever but it does get better, quickly!

[hollyberry]

I am with you bocaburger. Mine sleep at night ok in the crib, but during the day they basically only sleep of we hold them, are in the car or on a walk. As far as soothing them on your own I usually have to let one cry while carrying the other. Talking to the crying one. Then swich when the one I am holding calms down or falls asleep. It sucks and is hard to watch and hurts my heart when the one has to cry, but I am just one person for 2 babies. You can only do your best. I feel better when I at least talk to the one I am not holding so they know I am not ignoring them. Hugs! Its rough!

[mrsmcsmith09]

I agree with baby wearing or snuggling them both in close. We also do the jumping back and forth calming the most upset baby then laying them down and working on the next one. It's exhausting and every day there's something new to learn. Keep up the good work you're doing great!

[nomnom]

I'll repeat what worked for me (though other's have said them already):
Babywearing and walking, rocking them more and faster than the swing will (I usually had them in rockers if DH wasn't up too), or putting them both in care seats and swinging those. Mine also didn't like the swing much. It was too tame. Loud white noise helped, too.

Honestly, DH got up with me most of the time if they didn't settle with a bottle.

[robertjane33]

Great advice here - stroller/swing/car rides/hold them both.

BUT - sometimes, nothing will work. It was the hardest thing for me when I could only comfort one of my kids. And sometimes I just had to let one cry for a little bit. I think I was only alone with them for a few hours when they were really little before I just felt terrible and would need help. It gets easier, and you aren't doing them any harm by letting them cry a little.

[elvenqueen]

Everything mentioned above (and it really is a case of trying new things to see how they react, and adapting day-to-day as what calms them will change), and:

DH liked taking E outside, he'd stand underneath a tree and she'd look up at the light coming through the branches. Instaquiet sometimes.

We had some white christmas lights up permanently and I'd put them on to catch their eye every once in awhile, they'd be pretty mesmerized by the twinkling.

From about 6 weeks, I also liked to park one baby in a bouncer in front of a screen playing something like this www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuUYHR74xv0 while I tended to the other one.

I distinctly remember sitting once and writing an important email to DSD's school, nursing one baby while I typed, rocking the other in a bouncer with my foot. Every hour in that stage seems to last a lifetime, but it will definitely pass. 4th trimester is hard work!!

If it's a matter of trying to calm them to sleep, I stressed about this for ages and ages. Sometimes the only thing I could do was tend to ONE, get it off to sleep, and leave the other to cry in a safe place. Once one was asleep, I could go deal with the other. It's not ideal, but sometimes it's just impossible to do absolutely everything simultaneously.

[housecarder]

I agree with baby wearing. H gets off work and home around 4 and I get home around 7 so there are days when they lose their shit before I get home. I think sometimes they are just over stimulated and he has a hard time calming them because he's naturally louder and more anxious. If nothing else he calms Evie first because she's easier to settle and then puts her in the RNP before moving on to Finn.

[elvenqueen]

bocaburger, How's everything going? Have you and your H made any progress juggling/calming the LOs? Hope you've both managed to get some sleep.