I'm crazy for over reacting

[sweeetp812]

So I just lost my shit on my IL for the second time. In a week. They keep buying LO age inappropriate toys. Last week it was a play mat that the manufacturer put age as 3-4 yo. Today it was whisper ride wagon for 2-4 yo. I am grateful they want to spoil him but they also buy toys they can use with the older kids. They have a 3 YO grandchild as well. But my thing is then say you bought it for her or ask me before you buy an age inappropriate toy and then fight me on it. This is actually the third time it happened as they bought him a 6 month old toy when he was 2 months but it wasn't a big deal since it was just a few months diff. Not YEaRs. All it takes is just one accident. But what infuriates me the most is that I have to argue why I don't want my son using those toys. I snapped and said I'm sorry I made the mistake of thinking I'm his mother.

I'm thinking of texting both MIL and FIL and saying I know they mean well but I would like it if in the future they ran such purchases by me first

[sjshark]

Maybe just say thank you and let them know that you can't wait for LO to use it when the reach the right age. Then put it away for now.

I understand your feelings of frustration bc you're just trying to keep your baby safe but they are also just trying to give you a gift.

[sweeetp812]

Feb 10, 2015 16:57:40 GMT -5 sjshark said:

Maybe just say thank you and let them know that you can't wait for LO to use it when the reach the right age. Then put it away for now.

I understand your feelings of frustration bc you're just trying to keep your baby safe but they are also just trying to give you a gift.

With them everything comes with string attached. And it's not the first time they got him age inappropriate stuff. She's also given him puffs without my permission a few weeks ago and thinks she can do as she likes. I'm frustrated bx I've let them know in the past we don't even have the room to just store these things. We live in an apartment Another reason is that I said I'm sure there are age appropriate toys like walker cars that he can use now but they argue with me that his cousin was using it when he was just slightly older.

[pineapplemae]

That sucks, I've been there. I'm usually a pretty passive person when it comes to confrontation, but I have had to get a little firmer when putting my foot down. Giving your LO puffs without asking was crossing a line.

[gingy]

I also have a MIL who just can't figure life out. It makes it hard to be around them, but I want LO to have a relationship with them.

Is the other grandchild their daughter's kid? I know I'm more lenient when my mom does stuff because I'm familiar with how I was raised, so I know what she will do. It's hard with the in laws because I never saw her parenting style, so I'm less likely to trust it. So if my mom got DD something like that I would let my mom play with her with it, but I would probably freak out on MIL. I'm not sure if I'm making sense.

[sweeetp812]

They have two sons. And the first grandson walks on water. My kid is 3rd. I don't mind that they get him toys. But they don't get him anything age appropriate !! They were getting him 18 months clothes when he was 4 months ( which is not a big deal at all ) but with toys it is. Like nothing is ever anything he can play with. And the response is always to just put it away until he is old enough. The problem being that 1. As I mentioned earlier I have no space and 2. Not having space to store the toys he is not old enough for and having to get toys that he is old enough for. But the worst part is them arguing with me. My Sil who is their sons wife makes horrible demands and they don't dare upset her but with me anything goes. I don't feel I should have to argue the point of not allowing my son to use toys designated for 2 year olds. It's not even a toy. A toy is one thing. This is a moving vehicle where j am pretty sure the straps are designed for bigger kids. Last time they put him in the laugh and learn FP car ( he was barely 3 months ) he fell over and banged his head. And they just had to put him in that little car to prove to me he can play with it.

[gingy]

Hmm, yeah that's rough. What does your husband say? Maybe he can say it in a way they will hear? Or just start exchanging it for stuff he can use now. That's what I would do.

[weeklyplanner]

Feb 10, 2015 18:44:14 GMT -5 sweeetp812 said:

They have two sons. And the first grandson walks on water. My kid is 3rd. I don't mind that they get him toys. But they don't get him anything age appropriate !! They were getting him 18 months clothes when he was 4 months ( which is not a big deal at all ) but with toys it is. Like nothing is ever anything he can play with. And the response is always to just put it away until he is old enough. The problem being that 1. As I mentioned earlier I have no space and 2. Not having space to store the toys he is not old enough for and having to get toys that he is old enough for. But the worst part is them arguing with me. My Sil who is their sons wife makes horrible demands and they don't dare upset her but with me anything goes. I don't feel I should have to argue the point of not allowing my son to use toys designated for 2 year olds. It's not even a toy. A toy is one thing. This is a moving vehicle where j am pretty sure the straps are designed for bigger kids. Last time they put him in the laugh and learn FP car ( he was barely 3 months ) he fell over and banged his head. And they just had to put him in that little car to prove to me he can play with it.

I hear ya on all of this. My method is to choose my battles and when things are crossing the line too much I make DH speak up. For example: when MIL mailed out xmas cards with my kid on it, when she bought a heavy winter sweater in size 12 months for xmas, wants to cook him some "baby food" that involves an array of veggies and chicken broth. Her intentions are good, but the timing is off and she's pushy. Oh, well, except the xmas card thing. That was just really weird and overstepping her boundaries. Parents send xmas cards not grandparents!!

[sweeetp812]

weeklyplanner. I agree. And I'm sorry to hear about your issues. I agree, that sending out the cards was creepy. However , I've been choosing my battles and I think the fact that I've been so calm about non chalant about everything is why they feel they can do as thy please