PGAL/PAIF Check-In 8/22 - 8/29

[caer]

Pregnant After Loss / Pregnant After Infertility (PGAL/PAIF) check-in is posted once a week (generally on a Monday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss or a history of infertility and are now pregnant. Anyone who participates may start the thread each week.

Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning or spoiler if you decide to talk about any living children.

PGAL Mantras:

SPOILER: Click to show

{PGAL Mantras}
Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.

My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c.

Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!

Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot jinx your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!

There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive"

How far along are you?

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally?

Any upcoming appointments or tests?

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves:

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to?

[kinipela7]

How far along are you? 10w

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Okay mentally and physically. I need to stop reading the loss threads because they make me sick with nerves.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? 2 weeks regular OB appt and NT scan

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: We went to the beach for the weekend and had a blast!

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? I do look forward to it to escape from the heat but it does not last long enough at all and then it's winter which is the worst!

[callmeKD]

How far along are you? 12w/3d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? physically - I'm so sore and tired. trying to stay active, but my tailbone and hips are sore. Emotionally - I'm taking it minute by minute.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? intake, U/S and blood draw at the MFM's this week. As usual, I am terrified that something will be wrong.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I can't wait until the point where I can relax about this pregnancy. but I'm also worried I'll never get to that point.

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? I'm not a big fall person, I love summer. But the heat and humidity are taking their toll on me, so the crisper weather will be good for me.

[callmeKD]

renegadewhit - bummer about the house repairs.

[callmeKD]

kinipela7 - I'm with you on reading/(not reading) the loss threads. it makes me even more anxious.

[doves654]

How far along are you? 8w4d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Exhausted but good otherwise for the most part.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? I just got released by my RE, so my next appt will be with my OB unless it'll take awhile and then my RE is happy to see me one more time. I had an u/s yesterday and everything was right on track! Because we did PGS testing we're down to a 3% risk of miscarriage, so I'm trying to calm down with that in mind.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I am cranky, thank you hormones!

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? I normally love spring and summer best, but I'm feeling ok about fall this year.

[callmeKD]

doves654 - I like those odds!

[kaits8]

renegadewhit, ugh, selling houses is bad enough as it is. Having to spend $$$ on repairs just to sell is even worse. I'm sorry.

How far along are you? 8w4d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Ok, energy is back sometimes, and I've only thrown up maybe 3-4 times so far, which sucks in the moment but is better than the multiple times per day for 8 weeks straight that I had w/ DD! I'm feeling fat and don't know if it's bloat/baby, or the daily bagel and endless carbs I've eaten for the last 2 weeks. I must start working out again!

Any upcoming appointments or tests? Not until 9/8. I called the move my NT scan (was 9/12) b/c we will have a contractor here that day, and she said "oh, that's too early anyways..let's move it out." So now that's not until 9/15 I know it needs to be in a certain time frame, but I'm bummed I have to wait an extra 3 days now!

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: Just my NT scan getting bumped out.

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? OMG Fall is my favorite season EVER. If it could be 65+/- and sunny/breezy year round I'd be a happy camper! Jeans, flip flops and a sweater is my favorite outfit ever (although this year may be leggings due to the whole baby bump thing).

[sms2524]

Aug 23, 2016 8:41:29 GMT -5 callmeKD said:

How far along are you? 12w/3d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? physically - I'm so sore and tired. trying to stay active, but my tailbone and hips are sore. Emotionally - I'm taking it minute by minute.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? intake, U/S and blood draw at the MFM's this week. As usual, I am terrified that something will be wrong.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I can't wait until the point where I can relax about this pregnancy. but I'm also worried I'll never get to that point.

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? I'm not a big fall person, I love summer. But the heat and humidity are taking their toll on me, so the crisper weather will be good for me.

So with you on the not being able to relax at all during the pregnancy. I'm hoping getting to second tri will help a bit but wonder if I'll be scared until I hold that baby in my arms.

[sms2524]

How far along are you? 9w1d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Hanging in there. Symptoms make me feel better, so just counting down to next u/s

Any upcoming appointments or tests? u/s with RE on Friday. My last loss was around this time so having some nerves but keep trying to remind myself that everything is different this time.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: any of you using/planning on using a belly band? Are they worth it? Do they work?

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to?
I love Fall!!!! Unfortunately it never feels like Fall in FL but I still look forward to apples and cinnamon and pumpkins and football!!!

[mosdub]

How far along are you? 8w3d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Nausea is fairly constant after lunch time until I go to bed. Yesterday and today I've had mild headaches. Emotionally I'm doing pretty good. I'm still cautiously optimistic. My doctor said "Mosdub, I want you to leave here feeling like you have a keeper. This pregnancy looks very healthy and I have no concerns". That SHOULD reassure me, right? I guess I'm still hesitant to embrace it because last time he missed the PMP on the 10 week ultrasound. I don't think I'll feel better until I can feel little kicks. It's something I've never felt before and I am really looking forward to.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? I have another appointment, it's going to be the regular intake with an OB nurse so it should last a couple hours on Sept.19. It's at 8am. I'll take advice from you all - even though I could take 1/2 day off and go in to work after lunch, should I just take the whole day? My PGAL fear is that if something is wrong I won't want to go back to work. I'll probably just take the day and if it's a good appointment I'll go enjoy some mall food and shop. Yeah, that sounds better

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I've been updating all over this board, but basically yesterday had a really good ultrasound and EDD changed to 4/1/17.

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? Apple cider and pumpkin doughnuts. I also really enjoy Halloween. But in general, I hate fall. I hate cold, wet, brown weather.

[mosdub]

renegadewhit , I bet the fall in the PNW will be absolutely gorgeous. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely (hugs)

callmeKD good luck this week, I'm looking forward to a happy update. I totally understand that worry about never feeling reassured that everything is fine. I think none of us will feel "safe" until we are holding those babies...and then a whole new world of anxiety hits, I'm sure!

ugaqueencity all of my friends know now too, and I told my 2 closest work friends. It sucks keeping the Rolodex in your head of people you would have to tell bad news to. I hate it. Good luck at your appointment

doves654 yay for the good update!

sms2524 , It's so hard not to compare times/losses with this current pregnancy. You're right though - they are completely different pregnancies.

[skk]

Add me to the list of being worried that I'll never reach a point of being able to relax during this pregnancy. I'm still feeling cautiously optimistic and worried about the list of people we'd need to tell if something goes wrong.

renegadewhit sorry to hear about the repair costs and I time passes quickly so you can be back with your family soon.

sms2524 I tried the belly band before and it didn't work great for me. I was constantly adjusting it because it would roll. It was easier for me to just use a hair tie through the button hole and I'd cover with a flowy top.

mosdub Take the whole day off and enjoy!

[callmeKD]

Aug 23, 2016 12:48:35 GMT -5 sms2524 said:

Aug 23, 2016 8:41:29 GMT -5 callmeKD said:

How far along are you? 12w/3d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? physically - I'm so sore and tired. trying to stay active, but my tailbone and hips are sore. Emotionally - I'm taking it minute by minute.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? intake, U/S and blood draw at the MFM's this week. As usual, I am terrified that something will be wrong.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I can't wait until the point where I can relax about this pregnancy. but I'm also worried I'll never get to that point.

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? I'm not a big fall person, I love summer. But the heat and humidity are taking their toll on me, so the crisper weather will be good for me.

So with you on the not being able to relax at all during the pregnancy. I'm hoping getting to second tri will help a bit but wonder if I'll be scared until I hold that baby in my arms.

yes exactly. then it is a whole new level of anxiety. 

[callmeKD]

skk - I'm keeping a mental list too (of people we would have to tell if something goes wrong.) we told our parents this weekend and I'm so worried that I'll have to give them bad news in the future. they would be devastated. we never told them about our last loss because I didn't think they would be able to handle it.

[skk]

How far along are you? 9w4d (I'm terrible at keeping track and have to check my app every single time.)

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Tired and nauseous, but I keep reminding myself it's not as bad as it could be. Emotionally I'm all over the map and trying to stay positive.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? Not until the 16th! It feels so far away and gives me anxiety.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I hate that I have to wait so long for my next appointment. My OB thinks it's a good thing that she's not concerned enough to want to check me sooner, but it's not a fun waiting game for me.

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? I love all the pumpkin things and will welcome some cooler weather.

[skk]

Aug 23, 2016 13:59:59 GMT -5 callmeKD said:

skk - I'm keeping a mental list too (of people we would have to tell if something goes wrong.) we told our parents this weekend and I'm so worried that I'll have to give them bad news in the future. they would be devastated. we never told them about our last loss because I didn't think they would be able to handle it.

(hugs)  We didn't tell my grandma about this pregnancy yet.  She took our loss really hard, so I know the feeling of protecting others.  I'm especially nervous because my list is longer this time.  First time around, we barely told anyone until we were out of the first tri and with our loss, very few people knew.  I was only able to talk about it (without being a blubbery mess) after some time had passed. 

[mosdub]

. (hugs) I know. With my first pregnancy i truly was only excited to see the baby, I didn't really think anything would be wrong. This time around is a whole different story. Maybe it makes the good news even sweeter, not that that validates the history.

[glb30]

How far alone are you? 9w3d

How are you doing physically/emotionally? I am sick (had a fever and just felt weak) which made me super scared. I'm on the upswing today. I went to the doctor and didn't have a fever and heard the baby's heart on the Doppler. Before that, I was super nervous something was wrong- my symptoms seem to have chilled, or I might just be not noticing them bc I'm sick.

Upcoming Appointments: We have an appointment with OB #2 on Thursday. We will then decide to who go with. If we stay with OB #1, we have an ultrasound on 8/30. The doctor was super nice about getting me in just to check on the baby. (I didn't ask- he offered!)

Questions- I feel like I should know this, but I have been so concerned with seeing a heartbeat that I haven't asked much else. What is the first tri testing?

GTKY: Fall is my favorite season. I love the cooler weather, the changing leaves, the smell, football, pumpkin everything and the CLOTHES. I hate summer clothes so much. I can't wait to get back to layering!!! 😬

[amacbaby]

Edited for inappropriate content.

. , I am sorry you didn't get to check in on the HB


How far along are you? 9w5d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Okay. My symptoms seemed to be letting up right at 9w. I feel like I am more nervous now than I was in early first tri even though that is when my M/C was. Yesterday and this morning was rough but I am feeling better now. I had some mild nausea today and other mild symptoms. I wish I could just enjoy the break, but PGAL F*ing sucks.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? My OB offered an apt in two weeks instead of 4 and I declined (WHAT was I thinking???). I think I have mentioned this but she is freaking awesome. She made sure to tell me she will us the U/S at the next couple apts to ease my mind. I love her. I might actually call and make an apt for next week just so I can check in on baby. Especially if my symptoms keep being so mild. I am going in on Thursday for the NIPT. I want to make sure there are no common trisomy's and, honestly, find out the sex

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I also decided I can't look at loss threads. Or I will click and add condolences without reading the details. I feel so bad but I think that's why I was so anxious yesterday.

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? YES YES YES. I love the fall! The clothes, the decorating, the food, (the weather when I don't live on the sun - I mean Texas). Pumpkins, baking, Halloween, I am so excited.

[amacbaby]

*extra post sorry*

[caer]

I'm still with limited wifi so no tags this week. I'll just send (((hugs))) and love to every own.

How far along are you? Somewhere between 8w5d and 9w3d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? The meds have helped but I still have some nausea and fatigue. Emotionally, I've been struggling the last few days. I'm officially past my loss milestone and although it's only been a week since my ultrasound, I wish I could know everything was ok in there.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? Next Monday, my first OB appointment.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I kind of wish I had brought my Doppler on vacation!

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? I love fall! I'm looking forward to going to the corn maze/fall festival that we attend every year.

[muskiefan]

renegadewhit I'm sorry you're missing your family

kinipela7 definitely try to stay away from threads that will trigger you. I know we want to be supportive, but if it impacts you a lot, try to avoid them for now.

callmeKD I worry about not being able to relax, too. I'm past my loss milestone and still waiting for bad news.

ugaqueencity I'm glad your friends know, so they can be supportive of you.

doves654 glad you had one more peek at the RE. 3% while still a risk sounds great.

kaits8 I'm on the carb train, too.

sms2524 thinking good thoughts for a perfect u/s this week.

mosdub that's definitely understandable apprehension. I can't wait for you to feel this baby practicing judo in your belly!

skk that sounds like us, too. We only told family/very close friends about our loss as it was happening. Only now have I been able to be open about our experience.

amacbaby your OB sounds great!

caer I'm happy for you to be past your milestone, but I completely understand feeling like that's not enough to feel safe.

[glb30]

amacbaby I'm more nervous now than I was in early 1st tri too. Also, my symptoms eased up a bit this week (week 9). Make an appointment- I'm sure it will make you feel better.

[madameovary]

How far along are you? 9w5d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally?
Tiredish. Feeling mostly positive but still like this was too easy.

Any upcoming appointments or tests?
The OB found the hb on doppler at 9weeks. I asked about panorama. I'm 32 but had been reading about it. He didn't recommend that over the NT scan or vise versa, but it would be in lieu of the NT scan. There are pros and cons to each, so I need to decide soon and get it scheduled

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: NT scan or non invasive blood test?

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? Yes, it's too hot here

[madameovary]

sms2524 I got the belly band but it was more trouble than it was worth. As scary as it is, might be better and more comfortable to get a pair of maternity pants. Not the full panel kind but the stretchy waist kind. You can wear them post partum also.

I have heard you can wear belly band under your shirt to cover more skin while nursing in public, but a tank could accomplish the same.

[sms2524]

Aug 24, 2016 12:26:30 GMT -5 madameovary said:

sms2524 I got the belly band but it was more trouble than it was worth. As scary as it is, might be better and more comfortable to get a pair of maternity pants. Not the full panel kind but the stretchy waist kind. You can wear them post partum also.

I have heard you can wear belly band under your shirt to cover more skin while nursing in public, but a tank could accomplish the same.

Thanks for the info! With regards to your question, I am planning on doing both. I'm doing Panorama with my RE this week and planning on NT with my OB. Panorama may not be covered by my insurance but will only be $100-200 and because of my history I am more that fine with that.

[amacbaby]

madameovary, I am choosing to do the NIPT. The major con for me is it is not covered and will be about 130 out of pocket whereas I think the NT scan is covered. However, the NIPT s a more reliable test, it particularly has fewer false positives. I do not want the stress of getting a positive result when it's not actually correct! Either test would need to be followed up with a CVS which is considered diagnostic. Of course there is the sex determination too Also, you get information about trisomys other than 21 (downs) which I liked. My doctor explained that doing both is possible but there isn't much of a point because the NIPT gives you as much info at the NT.

I totally did not mean to sound like the spokesperson for NIPT. Either test is fine, and cost can definitely by a prohibiting factor for the NIPT.

[muskiefan]

How far along are you? 10w5d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Overwhelmed at times, in both regards.

Any upcoming appointments or tests?
Appointment with nurse and OB next week. That will be 5 weeks between seeing the doctor, but I found the HB on doppler last week, so that's reassuring.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: NT scan or non invasive blood test?

GTKY: Are you looking forward to fall? If so, what are you looking forward to? College football and the local HS soccer games -- we live very close to the field and it's a fun evening activity with the kiddos. They LOVE watching it, too!

[callmeKD]

I have my genetic counseling and U/S today (and a blood draw). I have no idea what kind of U/S it's going to be (I'm a little frustrated with the MFM's office right now and their inability to clearly communicate.) In any event, I'm a ball of nerves so please send me good vibes for healthy babies!