Rude family member WWPD

[Deleted]

I've heard to only respond when these three things are all in place: it's true, kind, and necessary. Often I am not able to remember these when I am emotionally affected but if I give myself time away from the incident I can. I'd say not to engage.

[kmkd19]

Personally I'd probably let it go. I'm all about picking your battles and I don't think you're going to change her - she admitted it was a rude thing to say.

[Deleted]

release it to the Lloyd,
cause she knows it was bitchy but regularly speaks her mind and you aren't going to change her.
you can only control how or if you react to it.

[theseaword]

Aug 24, 2016 15:37:51 GMT -5 @juliagulia said:

Aug 24, 2016 15:34:52 GMT -5 pobre said:

It's a shitty sentiment, but I think you're overinvested in this one. Maybe take a step back for your own peace of mind.

You speak the truth. I'm still upset about something she posted on my picture a couple of months ago.

I think I just accept her for who she is 98% of the time and then something happens that sends me spiraling. My sister has cut her out so then I wonder if I should too. Blerg.

What did she say on your picture?

[spooko]

My sister is blunt and occasionally says things that aren't directed to me but still hurt. I typically say something to her to clarify her point, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. Her point was clear and she didn't direct anything toward you and you still took it personally. Which, feelings wise is understandable, but doesn't really leave grounds to say anything. I'm sorry there's been two stinging comments lately.

If, unrelated to these specific remarks, you wanted to generally say to her that you're sensitive about X and while you accept that she's who she is, you'd consider it a favor if she'd tone it down, that'd probably be ok.

[theseaword]

Aug 24, 2016 15:46:00 GMT -5 @juliagulia said:

Aug 24, 2016 15:41:07 GMT -5 theseaword said:

What did she say on your picture?

That my eyes looked crazy.

It was on Mother's Day and I changed my profile to a pic of me, DS, and his birth mom. It wasn't that great of a pic and my eyes were wide because of the flash, but it was the most recent I had of all 3 of us. It was a sentiment, you know. And she said "my name, your eyes look kind of crazy in this picture, what's up with that?"

Start writing "oh, you" after all her snatchy comments.

[theseaword]

Then no comment. If she's looking for attention, don't give her any.

[Deleted]

If this is in line with her personality that you already know and have accepted then I would let it go.

If I'm having a bad day related to something someone said I try to think of this quote

"You can not change how others act you can only change how you react"

[helenahhandbasket]

It's a gross thing to say but I honestly believe that you will waste more energy fighting over it as opposed to just releasing it.

[Deleted]

I don't post on FB a lot maybe 1-2 times a month. If the same person is rude over and over I either I unfriend them or make it so they can no longer see my posts. I don't know if that would work for you, but my FB is much better now. I would do that step before cutting ties and see how I feel on the cutting ties issue in a few months.

I had a friend that liked being a bitch. We aren't friends anymore. If my motto is to be kind then someone having that attitude is just not right for me anymore. I'mnot advocating anything- just sharing.

[plorange]

I have just unfollowed people on FB that I didn't like their comments. If it's something really offensive and they are someone not in my life, I defriend completely.

That being said, is she saying these rude comments in person? I had a family member write dumb comments on my photos, so I stopped sharing with them for a while. I had my pics visible to all my friends except for that person. That seemed to help. You can update your settings to automatically do that.

If there is a rude comment in person, I would just address it then. Mostly explain how these comments make you feel and ask what she hopes to get out of them. Something like that. I'm not really good at it, but addressing it from a non-combative point is best so she doesn't get defensive.

Snarky comments online are just weird. Some people just don't understand how things look on social media and a lot of the older generation on my feed are additionally baffled by some of the quirks like everyone seeing their comment.

[abvintage]

Three words: Bless. Her. Heart.

[McBenny]

Aug 24, 2016 15:34:52 GMT -5 pobre said:

Aug 24, 2016 15:27:38 GMT -5 @juliagulia said:

Good advice.

I'm quite emotional over it. I screenshot it yesterday and can't stop thinking about it.

It's a shitty sentiment, but I think you're overinvested in this one. Maybe take a step back for your own peace of mind.

i agree with the pob.