Went to the doctor again....

[verovladamir]

So after expressing my frustration to my doctor about not being able to find someone for an ADD assessment, she decided to move up my appointment from the end of the month and she was able to squeeze me in today. Originally it was just going to be a 15 minute appointment, but the person who rescheduled it for me decided to make it a full 30 minute appointment so I got a surprise pap smear too (lucky me!). My doc is actually amazing at them. I didn't feel a thing. I seriously asked her when we were going to start and she said she was already done. 
But that's not the point. Point is that she put me on adderall. It was that or changing my anti-depressants again, which was likely to lead to several weeks of increased anxiety. She isn't super happy about prescribing the adderall. She made it very clear that I MUST follow through on my assessment in May, but it is also clear that I'm not functioning well at this point. She asked a few questions about how I'm feeling and said that she has know doubt that it is ADD. That combined with the fact that I'm the only one of my siblings without a formal diagnosis.... 

So I started the medication on Saturday. She want's me to wait for a weekend to try it out. We shall see. I'm starting off of 5mg twice daily. I'm not thrilled about another medication, especially one as strong as this, but I'm really hoping it will lead to a significant improvement in my overall well-being. 

Also the fact that it will likely lead to some weight loss isn't so terrible either. 

[seadragon2013]

I hope you see improvement on the Adderall and that you start feeling more like your best self!

I admire your persistence in seeking help for your mental health. Our medical system is so screwed up when it comes to that stuff.

[aydee]

Glad to hear that your doctor was so responsive. I hope the Adderall is helpful. Good luck!

[verovladamir]

Feb 10, 2015 19:53:51 GMT -5 seadragon2013 said:

I hope you see improvement on the Adderall and that you start feeling more like your best self!

I admire your persistence in seeking help for your mental health. Our medical system is so screwed up when it comes to that stuff.

Thanks. I think seeing all of the problems that my family has had has made me hyper aware. Most importantly, having to watch my mom suffer through  multiple suicide attempts by my siblings has just broken my heart. I couldn't do that to her. DH and I also worked as RAs and had to have a lot of training in suicide awareness, so we try to stay on top of it together. DH especially is my voice of reason when things get messy. My doctor knows this too so she always insists that I be very clear with DH about any new medications so he can keep me in check. I have it listed in my chart that it's okay for him to talk with my doctors about my care because I'm so worried about having a mental breakdown and not being able to take care of myself. 

Like with the Adderall, she warned me of the possibility of manic episodes and told me to make sure DH knows this too so he can watch for it. Hopefully it all goes well and there is nothing to worry about. 


edited because words

[expatmama]

Hope this next step helps you start to feel a bit better. Having been fighting these anxiety demons for some time and am also now trying another approach, I know it is not easy... and super frustrating. Glad you have a good support system!

[dc2london]

I'm glad that you found a reasonable (albeit not perfect) solution in the interim while you wait for your next appointment.
My sister has struggled with ADD her entire life but wasn't diagnosed until adulthood. For her, Adderall works brilliantly well BUT she has found a place where she can carefully manage the benefits with the side effects. She is prone to occasional manic episodes and we just have an agreement with myself and her fiance that we text her a code word when we feel like she's getting OOC (if we put her on the spot or call her out directly she gets SUPER defensive. This gives her a chance to realize we are telling her she's going off the deep end and to dial it back without having to feel the embarrassment of a confrontation). She also gives herself a "break" from the medication on Sundays so she can eat and sleep bc it does interfere with her appetite and her sleep patterns during the week, but she needs the medication during the week to function in work and school. So Sunday is basically her "catch up" day. She eats all the things, sleeps in late, watches movies on the sofa and takes a nap.
It has taken her years of trial and error to get to the point where she can comfortably do that and know that the meds will be effective Monday morning, but my hope is that by dumping all of this info on you it might help you.
tl;dr Adderall does have some undesirable side effects but often the benefits outweigh those.

[verovladamir]

Feb 11, 2015 7:04:18 GMT -5 dc2london said:

I'm glad that you found a reasonable (albeit not perfect) solution in the interim while you wait for your next appointment.
My sister has struggled with ADD her entire life but wasn't diagnosed until adulthood. For her, Adderall works brilliantly well BUT she has found a place where she can carefully manage the benefits with the side effects. She is prone to occasional manic episodes and we just have an agreement with myself and her fiance that we text her a code word when we feel like she's getting OOC (if we put her on the spot or call her out directly she gets SUPER defensive. This gives her a chance to realize we are telling her she's going off the deep end and to dial it back without having to feel the embarrassment of a confrontation). She also gives herself a "break" from the medication on Sundays so she can eat and sleep bc it does interfere with her appetite and her sleep patterns during the week, but she needs the medication during the week to function in work and school. So Sunday is basically her "catch up" day. She eats all the things, sleeps in late, watches movies on the sofa and takes a nap.
It has taken her years of trial and error to get to the point where she can comfortably do that and know that the meds will be effective Monday morning, but my hope is that by dumping all of this info on you it might help you.
tl;dr Adderall does have some undesirable side effects but often the benefits outweigh those.

My doctor had a similar suggestion. I'm starting them this weekend because, in her words, "You don't want to have a breakdown in the middle of the office!" (which seemed silly, since I work in her office and that seems like the best place to have a breakdown). Once I'm used to them she suggested only taking them when I have to work, which of course is not every day. Sometimes it's five or six days/week, but sometimes it's only three. And if I only work half a day I will probably only take one dose. It will take some trial and error though. She even said that the 5mg may not be enough. So we shall see. 

[sagen]

GL I hope this helps!